9. Sienna
SIENNA
A fucking shark. Are you fucking kidding me?
My heart races. I knew I was pushing him today, and right now, I feel like a complete idiot. The shark is fucking huge, easily the same width as the car we drove here in. Its beady eyes make contact with mine, and a terrifying pinch of adrenaline pumps through my body.
“Who do you choose to be , mishka , the prey or the predator?”
That's a fucking easy question for somebody who has no intention of diving in with that thing. I look from the cage to Nikolai, meeting that unwavering challenge in his gaze.
Am I going to fucking die here?
I try to shove the fear low into my stomach and mask my expression in the same way that I always have in social circles and in public events, but this is a vastly different scenario.
This isn't for somebody else's judgment.
This is only me. I roll my shoulders back, trying my hardest to gain composure, already furious with myself that I let him rattle me.
This has nothing to do with being prey or predator. It’s about whether I will allow him to get under my skin like this.
Then again, it's easier to be self-righteous and brave in my head when I'm literally about to piss myself with fear.
My voice creaks again, but I try to say as calmly as possible, “Being the fearless man that you are … I assume you're jumping in with me?”
His eyes darken, and the fear gripping me twists into something more devastating.
No, I shouldn’t be feeling attraction toward this man, especially in these circumstances.
“Are you asking me to hold your hand through this, mishka ?”
“I don't see the point of me proving anything to you if you're not willing to do the same.” I'm lying through my fucking teeth, but I'm well aware that I won’t leave this room unless I’m scared to a level of his satisfaction.
But I refuse to be broken again. I've had far too much experience with that already.
Jesus fucking Christ, Sienna, is this truly the moment you want to be correcting your mindset in life? I’m still trying to cling to this bullshit, instead of admitting to myself how fucking scared I am .
This isn't who I am. I've never wanted to take risks like Romi. Or terrify men in the way that Ara can. I can't speak calmly and negotiate in the way that Lily always has, offering a calm presence. And I've never had the silent power that Elanee projects.
Nikolai smirks. Then, to my surprise, he begins to unbutton his shirt. I look away quickly. Why the fuck is he stripping?
“Calm down, little doll. I'm sure it's not the first time you've seen a man's body. However, perhaps not one as well-defined and polished as mine.”
“You're so fucking full of yourself,” I growl. And when I look back toward him, my mind goes blank. Jagged scars run over his chest, cutting through old tattoos. His entire body is riddled with black ink, but it’s the two serpent heads on either side of his neck that stand out the most.
Thorns and roses bloom amongst them in a beautiful but scathing contradiction.
The scales are defined but marred by scars.
His body seems to come alive as he moves, as if the heads are a part of him, ready to slither away.
The scales I saw beneath his collar make up the tip of the nose of each snake head.
It’s beautiful and terrifying all at once. Both the scars and the artwork. But it’s very him.
“Take off your dress,” he orders.
My jaw drops.
“What's the difference between underwear and bikinis? You’ve posed on covers of magazines and billboards wearing much less.”
But you weren’t there, in front of me, for any of those.
I grab at the bottom of my dress as I say furiously, “Yeah, but in none of those shoots was I forced to go into a tank with a fucking shark.”
His lips tilt up as I sweep the dress up and over my head.
When the garment is off and I meet his eyes again, I notice the fire in them.
His gaze roams down my body and then it whips back to my face.
He takes a step closer, bringing his oversized dress shirt around my shoulders and then buttoning it up.
“I thought I needed to be undressed.”
“I don't want anyone else looking at you,” he replies gruffly.
My heart skips a beat, and I become uneasy that my instincts tell me to trust him, even though he's the motherfucker who’s forcing me to do this. Is he doing this so my dress isn’t wet for … afterward? Is there going to be an afterward?
He buttons the shirt almost to the top. “You can't back down now, mishka .”
No witty comeback comes to mind as I glance over his shoulder at what looks like a personalized torture aquarium. The rest of the basement is covered in metal, giving it an industrial, clinical feel.
Red lights glow from the corners, creating an infernal atmosphere and giving the tank a purple hue.
I note the grates in the floor and the few brooms and mops leaning against a wall.
My gaze lands on a dark stain on the cement, and I immediately look away, sensing that someone who was here previously wasn't fortunate enough to walk away, at least not with all their appendages.
A door in the corner opens to a small room. When I peer inside, I can see a sofa, table, and bar. A tinted window faces out toward the tank. I wonder how many spectators have sat in there and watched a live show.
Nikolai isn’t really going to let me be eaten by a shark, right? And how stupid am I for falling for his antagonization in the same way he falls for mine? But there’s something about Nikolai that makes me take the bait and step up to the challenge.
We walk behind Andrei, who is adjusting a camera inside the metal cage. He climbs down the ladder, and his eyebrows pinch together when he notices Nikolai is shirtless, but he says nothing.
Nikolai extends his hand to the ladder. “Ladies first.”
My heart races as I breathe in and then exhale, telling myself the same thing I always used to before walking into a room of influential people or when facing a new challenge in my career.
No one can take anything away from me. Because I'm here for myself.
When did I stop believing that? I think it was right around the time Michael and I got engaged.
I’d never stopped thinking about how I presented myself or created opportunities for myself, but I’d started walking behind him, instead of beside him as his equal.
I’d let my light dim without realizing it. Never again.
I harden my jaw as I step on the first rung, then the next, my heart pounding the closer I get to the top. My blood feels thick and slow in my veins, and my limbs grow weaker with each step up. The ladder jolts beneath me, and I look down, realizing Nikolai is only two rungs below me.
“Stop looking at my ass,” I grit out.
“I was actually admiring your legs. They look tasty,” he purrs, and I'm tempted to purposely slip just so I can crash into him out of spite. But it's my fury toward him that has me continuing to climb. I refuse to back down from a man who thinks he’s taken control of my life.
But he was right about one thing: this is a choice. And I won't let him look down on me, even when I have the better sense not to rise to the challenge.
His arms come around me as we reach the top. His bare chest presses against my back, pushing me into the entrance of the metal cage. Oh, fuck me. No, this is a bad idea.
His hot breath flushes against my ear, raising every hair on my body. “Too late to back down now, mishka .” His voice is so low, only I can hear it, and it stupidly has me stepping into the enclosure. I cling to the bars as the cage rocks with our entrance .
I’m out of my fucking mind.
It’s like my body’s on autopilot as I put one foot in front of the other.
Nikolai closes the door behind us. “Your record for holding your breath was one minute and thirty-two seconds, was it not?” I turn to face him, my mouth falling agape. I've always been a good swimmer, but that record was from my senior year of high school. “Let’s try for a minute, shall we?”
“What the fuck? Aren't you going to give me a mask or a safety rundown?”
A jolt of fear runs through me as a cruel, twisted smile spreads across his face. “Take a deep breath, mishka , and focus on your heartbeat.”
“You can’t?—”
The moment he clicks his fingers, I shoot my gaze to Andrei, who presses a green button.
Fuck . I immediately take a huge gulp of air when it feels like the floor gives way beneath me. And then I'm suddenly plunged into cold water as I close my eyes.
I can sense the shark. The moment we're in the water, I know I'm being circled. I want to keep my eyes closed, and although logic tells me I’m safe in the cage, it does nothing to lessen the panic.
I want to strangle Nikolai. I'm going to die. I'm going to get eaten by a fucking shark. And no one will ever find my body. Oh my fucking God, I'm going to die.
I feel something touch my shoulder, and I immediately shove away from it, my eyes bursting open as I'm pulled back by the wrist. Nikolai’s dark hair shifts in the water.
I choke on my air as he releases my wrist and brings his hand to his heart as he slowly taps twice, as if silently reminding me to focus on my heartbeat.
My legs and arms move as I look up and realize that even if I made it to the top of the cage, there is no air there for me because we’re completely submerged in the water.
I try to look past the glass, but it feels like a never-ending stretch of blue.
Then my heart freezes when I see the creature shift around us.
There's a powerful ripple that surrounds it as it lunges for the cage, and I scream, losing my air supply. My hands come to my ears as I fold in on myself. I'm going to drown before I can be eaten alive.