11. Sienna
SIENNA
I can hear my heart thumping in my ears.
My hands wring the fabric of my silk dress, and I have no idea where I should look.
The moment I raise my gaze from the beautiful assortment of food in front of me, Nikolai is staring into my fucking soul.
I immediately look away, unable to decipher the intensity of his striking green eyes.
Those eyes that are nothing but cutting, always seeing, and yet I somehow know are always following me.
But they also have the power to put me under a spell and make me do things I would never ordinarily do.
“You should eat, little doll. All of this food has been carefully selected for you by Agata.” I’ve come to notice that he calls me little doll when others are around, but in private he uses mishka , which still irritates me because it insinuates I’m something small and cute. A child’s toy .
The bright sun silhouettes him; strange for someone who is better fitted for the shadows. We sit on the balcony for breakfast, but nausea turns my stomach. How do I act around him after yesterday?
“I have no intention of experiencing fine dining with criminals,” I say, ensuring that I remind both of us out loud that this is just business. Not of the legal, consensual kind, but I have to treat what happened as a one-off.
He removes the napkin from his lap to wipe his mouth and then throws it on the table, as if I’ve soured his meal.
I can't help but watch the way it brushes against his full lips, the way his jade bracelet glistens under the sun. I shoot a brief glance behind me, where one of his men stands at the entrance to the balcony, as if guarding us. I’m so used to Andrei, that when this man, Sergey, takes over, it feels like another threat.
“Yet you celebrate with your criminal friends back at home without even realizing. Is it because they pretend to be part of high society that settles you around them?”
The jab strikes precisely where it was meant to.
The reminder that I know nothing of this world.
Hell, I don’t even know my friends. No. What if he’s lying?
What if this is all a trick? I cling to that concept, knowing it’s most likely a lie.
I don’t want to believe him, but for what reason would he consistently lie about it?
My gaze locks on the tattoos that cover his hands and knuckles.
Yes, this man is very dangerous, but then the memory of the way he touched me yesterday comes back to the surface, and I feel the heat rise along the back of my neck.
The way he considered bringing me the morning after pill when we’d been so careless.
I’d been so stupid. I never go without condoms, even when I know I can’t conceive.
The bitter reminder of that hurts every time.
I try to push it away, not ready to dive into the feeling of my own inadequacy as a woman.
I’m not dealing with that shit right now.
I just need to make it through one day at a time. But how?
How have I fallen under the spell of a man who is using me? Yes, I was fueled with overflowing emotion and adrenaline yesterday, but there’s something about Nikolai I just can’t seem to resist. And it’s dangerous.
The swallows chirp as they swoop low around the table, and I watch them in fascination, trying to lift the heavy weight in my heart.
I’m in no hurry to turn my attention back to my company or the food as I watch them fluttering amongst the treetops.
If it weren’t under these circumstances, I would've enjoyed this getaway.
I can smell the ocean on the breeze, and I see the cool blue of it gently rolling in the distance.
Nikolai exhales with a calm expression, but I sense the tight leash on his frustration as he leans over to grab my untouched plate and then loads it with various foods. I turn away once again. I don't exactly have an appetite.
“You’re stubborn,” he states. “I thought we came to an agreement. Or do I need to use other methods of coercion just so you’ll eat?”
My head whips in his direction, my eyes narrowing as heat rises on my cheeks.
His gaze flicks over my shoulder, as if reminding me that we’re not alone, and I curl my nails into my palms. “It seems you have selective hearing. I agreed I would join you for breakfast. I never stated how much I’d eat and by when. ”
“Do not be cranky with me. It’s not my fault your friends are taking so long to find your whereabouts.
” It’s as if he’s using my most secret thoughts as a way to bend me to his will.
“Then again, it might take some time, considering Luca and Arabella are probably very tired now that they have a baby. One might say it also puts them in a vulnerable position, wouldn’t you agree? ”
Without thought, I pick up my glass of water and toss the contents into his face. The splash is so shocking that even I feel the cold chill when it catches on the breeze. And then I realize what I’ve done.
I shove up from my seat. “Do not threaten my friends.” I hate how much he knows about them. How dare he mention their baby in the way of a threat. How can anyone be so cruel?
As I go to leave, Sergey steps in front of me.
He’s not as big as Andrei, but he has a cruel twist to his harsh features.
Andrei, although intimidating in size, never looks at me in a threatening manner, even though I know he was the one who helped take me that night.
Much like Nikolai, he’s been quiet but surprisingly kind.
Despite knowing better, I pin Sergey with a lethal glare. I hate these men. All of them.
“Stand aside,” I grit out. If they think I’m a spoiled fucking princess, I’ll act like one.
He arches a brow and goes to grab my arm, but Nikolai’s voice booms over my shoulder. “You do not touch her.” A chill runs down my spine from the loaded threat that sounds more like it came from an animal than a man. Sergey immediately pulls his hand back. “Leave. I’ll handle this.”
Goose bumps pebble my skin, and my heart thunders in my chest. I’m frozen in place, tempted to follow Sergey, wondering if I stand a better chance with him than a seriously pissed-off Nikolai.
Slowly, I turn to face Nikolai, who is undoing the buttons at the cuff of his sleeve. The black shirt fits him like a second skin, hugging every muscle, and I salivate at the memories of how hard and rigid that body feels.
The door in the main room closes, leaving us alone.
“You seem to enjoy being punished, mishka .”
“Stop calling me that,” I scold.
He smirks, the way I imagine the devil would. Then he folds up the cuffs of his sleeves to his elbows, revealing the tattoos on his forearms. My breath hitches in suspense at his calm demeanor.
He dips his hand into the champagne bucket and pulls out a piece of ice. Then he slowly prowls toward me. I take a step back, then a few more until my back hits the impressive bookshelves. I hit it so hard that a book falls, but he's already so much in my space that he catches it with ease.
“You need not act like such a brat for my attention, mishka .”
“I don't want shit from you. I just want to go home.”
“Ah. On the contrary, I think you want a repeat of what happened yesterday.” He lets the book slip out of his hand, and the thump as it lands on the floor surges my heartbeat.
The ice cube is melting between his fingers, and my gaze bounces between it and him until his other hand reaches up to brush a lock of my hair over my shoulder.
I slap his hand away, and it only seems to encourage him, as a feral smile creeps onto his lips.
“I'm going to shove this ice cube up your cunt, mishka , and you will not let it slip out until I permit you to do so. Do you understand me?”
My mind goes completely blank. My attention drops once again to the ice cube in his hand.
He wants to do what to me? When my eyes snap back to his, my breath falters before I can tell him to fuck off.
The words are on my tongue. But when I see the way his striking green eyes are drinking me in, I can't help but fall victim to the same spell that I found myself under yesterday.
What happened yesterday was a mistake. But my body burns to be touched by him again. My heart slams into my ribs, sending jolts of adrenaline through my bloodstream. My pussy is still bruised and swollen from the demanding encounter.
The moment Nikolai drops to his knees in front of me, my breath hitches.
There’s something about a powerful man kneeling at a woman’s feet that is undeniably sexy.
I know I should shove him away. Hell, if I had an ounce of sanity left in me, I would.
But as he slips the ice cube into his mouth, rolling it over his tongue, I become mesmerized.
The ice begins to melt over his lips as he looks up at me with that fiery gaze.
His large, rough hands graze along my outer thighs, eliciting goose bumps as he runs them higher until they’re beneath my dress. He hooks his fingers into my panties and then pulls them down to my ankles.
My breath comes in rapid pants as he pushes my silk dress up over my hips, shamelessly dropping his gaze to my pussy. I see the spark of passion in his eyes just before he lowers his head, and the cold touch of the ice cube rubs over my clit.
I gasp, my hands immediately curling into the bookshelf behind me, as a pleasurable, icy burn begins to slide against my sensitive folds.
And then with no warning, he pushes the ice cube into my pussy with his tongue.
The oddly painful yet tingling pleasure it creates makes me immediately want to push it back out.
“You're not to remove this ice cube until I give you permission, mishka . Do you understand?” I swallow hard, giving him a small nod, which goes against my better judgment.
But I feel alive. The corners of his mouth tilt up as he leans forward again, lapping up the juices from my pussy, forcing it to slowly become numb.
He shamelessly eats me out, pushing the ice cube farther and farther inside me.
When he retracts his tongue, I see the way the water melts down his face and smooth jaw.
He picks up the book that he dropped and then rises to stand in front of me. I gaze up at him through my lashes. It takes every ounce of my willpower to continue clenching on the ice cube. I seem to not be able to feel anymore because of its numbing effect.
“See how obedient you can be, mishka ?” He lifts his hand to one of my curls, surprisingly gentle, and wraps the lock around his finger. “You can be a good girl after all. And when you are, you’ll be rewarded.”
I want to berate him. I want to slap him again. I hate that he thinks he has control or dominion over me. Surely, I'm going crazy, letting my kidnapper touch me like this. But if I'm being honest with myself, it's part of his allure.
Nikolai is unlike any other man I've been with. He oozes danger and power. He’s not part of the world I was raised in.
And it offers me a lethal place to escape my thoughts with an insatiable amount of curiosity.
He looks down at the book in his hand. Then, without a word, he brings the spine of the book against my pussy and begins rubbing it against my clit .
“What are you?—?”
“You don't question me, mishka . You ride the spine of this book like you rode my cock yesterday. I want to see you come undone. I want to see you melt all over this book without thought, without reservation—to just simply give yourself over to the pleasure and come undone.”
My breath comes out haggard, and I want to argue with him, until his hand comes over my mouth, and I moan, perplexed by the burning sensation in my pussy and the sparking friction of the book.
But as his speed picks up, I find my own rhythm.
I don't want to give this man what he wants or demands of me, but for some reason, he seems to understand my body better than I ever have.
Maybe it's the danger. Maybe it's because he's the furthest thing from the type of man I was told I should marry.
And that thought alone spurs me on to ride the spine of the book like my life depends on it.
If I'm not going to make it out alive, shouldn’t I at least try to have the best fucking orgasm of my life?
As the pressure builds, I bite down on his hand. His nostrils flare as an animalistic noise escapes him. The hard friction of the book rubbing against my clit causes a peculiar sensation of electric pulses. I moan, and he cups my jaw, allowing me to continue biting his hand.
My nostrils flare when I inhale sharply at the sensation of my orgasm building. I close my eyes, wanting to focus on my bliss.
“Open your eyes, mishka ,” he commands. “You will look at me when I make you come undone.”
I whimper as my eyes spring open. I’m a fool for falling under his spell, but I’m unable to deny the visceral magnetic attraction. I can't look away, on the verge of my breaking point.
He throws the book to the side with so much force, it lands on one of the plates on the balcony table.
He pulls his hand from between my teeth and clasps it around my throat, pinning me against the bookshelf, then he drops to his knees again, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder.
All I can do is stare down at him as he eats me out like a starved man.
My pussy is numb, tingling. And this powerful man’s tongue is diving so deep inside me that I'm squirming against his sensual attack.
Fuck.
I break apart, my breath now coming in harsh pants as I see stars, all of my attention focused on him as he continues licking and eating my orgasm.
My body trembles with the confusing pleasure as I continue to ride the high. When he pulls back, his face is covered with my juices as he says in his gravelly accent, “You can release your hold on the ice cube now, mishka .”
Relief escapes me as I push it out, and it falls to the floor, little more than pea-sized now. However, the numbing sensation remains. That's when reality crashes back in.
I shove him away by the shoulders, and almost as if he were expecting it, he catches himself and then gets to his feet. I immediately bend over to pull my panties back over my hips.
“I fucking hate you so much,” I seethe, my heart racing and my mind whirling with absolute bewilderment as to how I let this happen again. This man is leading me to damnation, and I'm just a fool dancing under his fiddle.
A devilish smirk pulls at his lips; he’s not at all remorseful. When I look down, I notice how hard his cock is beneath his pants.
“I'm going to my room, and don't fucking follow me. You're not welcome.” I'm across the room within seconds, flinging open the wooden doors. When I step out into the hall, it’s not Sergey but Andrei standing guard. He looks at me from the corner of his eye but says nothing as I storm down the hall. I don’t need to look back to know he shadows me.
What the fuck is wrong with me?