Chapter 3
M elanie drove home in a blur of her own tears. She had no freaking clue why she was even crying, but she did know that it was Logan’s fault.
Why would he kiss her? And like that?
Never in her life had a kiss knocked her on her ass and at the same time made her feel like she was capable of anything.
It was a kiss to end all kisses. And then he’d gone and ruined it.
He was leaving. He’d kissed her and yet, he was fucking leaving.
She was having a hard time focusing on the road, so she pulled over to the side. When she looked up, she saw that she had only gone two houses down the road and was right in front of Brandon and Leah’s. Pulling in, she grabbed her phone and jumped out of the car.
Leah must have heard her car, because she came out the front door.
“Hey, I thought you were going home when we left the studio?”
“I was,” she said and wiped her face of the remaining tears.
“Oh no, what’s wrong?” Leah rushed towards her. Her tear-filled voice must have given her away.
“Everything.”
“Come inside and we can talk.”
“I don’t want to disturb you and Brandon.” Her voice cracked.
“Brandon’s on night shift tonight. We have the place to ourselves.” Leah ushered her inside and onto the couch. “Now tell me what happened?”
Melanie bit her bottom lip to force herself to stop crying. It was a trick she’d learned when she had been dancing at Juilliard. The teachers and instructors were tough, especially when your body was exhausted. Crying was seen as weak, so she’d had to come up with a way to force back the tears.
“I was just at Logan’s.”
Leah’s face showed shock. She knew that even though Mel loved Logan, she also was in a current state of hate with him. So being alone with him was the last thing she would ever do.
“You went to Logan’s? Tonight?”
She nodded. “I just came from there.”
“Is that why you’re crying? What did he do?” Leah’s voice had turned to anger and Mel was pretty sure that if asked, she would go down to Logan’s house and kick his ass.
“Yes he is the reason I am crying, but it’s my fault and nothing he did.” Sure he had kissed her but she was the idiot who let it happen and even encouraged it.
“I’m gonna need a hell of a lot more than that.”
Glancing at her friend, Mel took a deep breath. “I heard that he was maybe thinking about moving away again or at least taking an out of town assignment. I kinda freaked.”
“Okay, I think I get that but, and granted I don’t know Logan that well, I don’t think he would move away forever.”
“He wouldn’t,” she acknowledged. “But whatever is going on with him, I think he feels like he needs to leave.”
“Did he say he was leaving? When you talked to him?”
The question threw her off for a second. She’d asked and he hadn’t really answered other than after they’d kissed. But had he actually said he was leaving?
“It’s a yes or no question,” Leah said.
“I’m...I’m not sure.” She scrunched up her face and kept trying to recall.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning and maybe I can help you out?”
“I asked him if he was leaving and he asked why I even cared. He said that we weren’t even friends and that I hated him.”
“That sounds about right.”
“What?” Mel said. “How can you say that when you know how I feel about him?”
“Yeah, Mel, I know how you feel about him, but he has no idea. With you acting all pissy and being bitchy to him, how is he supposed to feel?”
“Have I really been that bad?” She knew she had been annoyed with him and tried hard to push him away. But she had no clue that maybe she was at fault.
“Honest truth?”
As much as it would hurt, she shook her head yes. “Honest truth.”
“You’ve been pretty bitchy. But it’s more than that. You can’t expect him to know how you feel and then be angry when he doesn’t.”
Understanding that her friend was trying to help her, she didn’t get angry. She knew deep down that she had been bitchy. She just wasn’t able to control herself, especially when it came to Logan.
“He kissed me.”
Leah, who like herself was rarely caught off guard, just stared at her, mouth open.
“You’ve been here for five minutes and you just now mention that he kissed you? What the hell, man.”
Mel shrugged but stayed silent.
“Logan kissed you. Logan, who you swear doesn’t feel anything for you, but who you are in love with. That Logan?” Leah was using her hands and doing a lot of pointing.
“Yes.” She rolled her eyes and felt a smile curve her lips.
“Okay, okay, okay. I don’t know what to do with this info.” She stood and began pacing back and forth. “How did it happen? Give me details.”
“I’m not really sure how it happened. One minute we were fighting about not being friends and then I turned to leave. But before I could, he kissed me.”
“What kind of kiss? Like a peck on the cheek, a lip kiss or was there tongue?”
This she could answer. “The kind of kiss that turns your whole world upside down.”
Leah sat back down next to her. “Did you kiss him back?”
“Is that a serious question? Of course, I kissed him back.”
“So, then why are you at my house crying instead of over at Logan’s still kissing?”
“Because when the kiss ended he said and I quote ‘I needed to know before I left.’”
“Ahh, the picture becomes clear now,” Leah said. “He kissed you and then said he was leaving.”
“I panicked,” she said and hung her head. “I mean really freaking panicked. My heart, which was already beating so fast it could have run a marathon, practically leaped out of my chest. I just...I had to get out of there.”
“Poor Logan,” Leah said.
“Poor Logan? What about me? I’m the one that’s confused as fuck.”
“No you’re not. You know that you love him even though you are having a weird hate relationship with him right now. Logan is just starting to figure out what he wants and then you go and walk away from him after he kisses you.”
“Logan doesn’t want me like I want him.” The tears that had subsided somehow made their way back.
“Oh honey, how can you not see it?”
“See what?” she said through tears.
Leah took her hand. “It’s not some weird infatuation that Logan is having with you. He genuinely likes you. He just isn’t sure what to do about it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I see it in the way he looks at you when you aren’t watching. He yearns for you. And yeah, I know that’s a strange word, but it is the only way to describe the look on his face.”
Mel sat back on the couch and thought about that. Did Logan have real feelings for her? Did the kiss mean just as much to him as it had to her?
“Stop thinking so hard about it.” Leah said. “I know love is a scary thing, but it’s worth it. I promise.”
“Easy for you to say. You met your soulmate the day you moved here. Most of us aren't that lucky.”
“Yeah well, most of us aren’t lucky enough to say they have known their soulmate since they were born.”
She had her there. But was Logan her soulmate? To her he was, but she needed to know what he was thinking.
“I should go home.” She stood. “Thanks for talking this out with me.”
“Anytime.” Leah walked her to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
––––––––
A t home the house was dark indicating that Carly had already gone to sleep. Since it was after ten and they had to work in the morning, that was no surprise. Mel was glad she was already in bed because talking this out again was the last thing she wanted to do.
She was just about to fall asleep when her phone vibrated on her nightstand. She almost ignored it but then made a last-minute decision to check it.
Logan:
I miss my friend Melanie. Do you know where she went?
It was meant to make her smile and it did. They had always been friends, close friends. Especially when he was not in town. She was the one person he had always kept in touch with.
Melanie:
I haven’t gone anywhere, I’m still right here.
Logan:
Then why did you leave?
Melanie:
Because you’re leaving?
She phrased it as a question hoping he would answer.
Logan:
I’ve left a hundred other times and you didn’t seem to care. Why now?
She huffed out a breath and sat up in her bed. Instead of answering, she asked a question.
Melanie:
Why’d you kiss me?
Logan:
Because not kissing you was impossible.
Melanie:
Friends don’t kiss.
Logan:
Who says? Don't you generally want to be friends with the person you are kissing?
She was getting ready to reply back when she saw the three dots that told her he was typing.
Logan:
Why’d you kiss me back?
She wanted to drop her phone and not answer. But avoidance had never been her thing. Plus, ignoring Logan was not in her playbook.
Melanie:
When you dream of something your whole life and then it’s in front of you for the taking...you have to take it.
Deciding that was all she could handle for the night she turned off her phone and set it back down.
Closing her eyes she tried to fall asleep but it was useless. Thoughts of Logan swam through her head with no end in sight.
She wasn’t sure what time she finally dozed off, but when morning came she was not refreshed. She was tired and cranky and freaked out over her last text to Logan. So freaked out in fact, that she refused to turn on her phone.
Downstairs she found Carly already dressed and eating breakfast.
“Where the hell were you last night? Hot date?”
“Oh yeah,” she said sarcastically. “The men in this town are just lining up to date me.”
Carly rolled her eyes. “They would be if you put yourself out there.”
“You’re talking to me about putting myself out there when you haven’t dated in, what, two years.”
“Boys are stupid.”
“On that we agree.” She grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and poured cereal and milk into it.
“So for reals, where were you?”
“I went by Logan’s.” She took a bite of her cereal and waited for Carly to demand details since that was her usual style.
“To say goodbye?”
“What do you mean to say goodbye?” Her breathing sped up and she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I got a call from him this morning and he is leaving for an assignment.”
“You talked to Logan this morning?” She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Yeah. Is that not why you went by?”
Words escaped her. Even after their text conversation last night, after what she had said, he was still leaving. Turning, she raced through the living room and up the stairs to her bedroom. Powering up her phone she waited, hands shaking while she waited for it to power on. When it did, she took a deep breath and clicked on messages.
Logan:
If you’ve waited this long, surely you can wait a little longer.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She stared at her phone, hoping she was misreading what he’d texted.
“Is everything okay?” she heard Carly ask from the doorway.
“Your fucking jackass of a cousin is a lunatic.”
“Since they both are, I’m just gonna go ahead and assume you mean Logan.”
“Did he already leave?”
“He was already gone when he called me.”
She dropped onto her bed, unsure of what to think, do, or even say. What was he trying to tell her?
She felt the bed give and an arm come around her shoulders. “He’s coming back, you know. He said he just had to do this and then he was here for good.”
“You don’t understand.” She handed Carly her phone with her texts between Logan and her still up.
Silence surrounded them while Carly read.
“He kissed you!” Carly squealed in her ear.
“Keep reading.”
A second later. “OH MY GOD, that was so sweet! He likes you.”
“Keep. Reading.”
She watched as Carly read and then as she lifted her head. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Now you are where I am.”
“I’m liking the idea of becoming a lesbian more and more. Men are fucking idiots.”
Mel put her hands out in a ‘that’s what I’ve been saying’ motion.
“We don’t have time to dissect the thoughts in Logan’s mind right this second. We have classes and need to go. But this will be discussed in great detail during lunch.”
Carly got up off the bed and Mel continued to sit there. “Put him out of your mind for just a few hours, Mel, and then I promise, Leah and I will help you figure it out.”
She did, or tried to do, as Carly said, and she got up to get ready.
There was no way she was going to let Logan fucking Graham ruin her day.