Chapter 3
CHAPTER
THREE
HARLOW
Fuck me. Really. Fuck me. Holy shit, break me off a piece of that.
Tall, broad shoulders, brown hair, a good prominent brow with a firm nose and even firmer looking lips.
Damn. This man is checking every damn box and then some I didn’t even know I had.
Even the fucking attitude is doing it for me, and I usually don’t like an attitude.
No, he isn’t throwing an attitude at me, what is that?
It’s like… firm direction. He is trying to control the flow of information, and I of course am not having any of that because I don’t play well with others.
My favorite clients are the ones that come in with headphones and want to zone out while I mark their bodies.
My eyes travel down his arms, the man does not fear the needle.
He has some epic work on his arms, none on his hands or neck which likely means whatever he does for work requires hiding his art.
The man even likes jewelry, most is black. Fuck that is hot.
I bet those thick rings would fit on my thumbs…
I could totally snag those and sport them.
So hot. The bracelets are a nice touch too, a mix of dark metals and leather.
His aesthetic matches mine way too perfectly.
He has on thick black dickies that look worn in and slightly graying on the edges, along with a plain white tee, the arms rolled some. Damn, I just want to bite him.
His hair is high and tight and perfectly styled at the top.
I can see hints of ink under his white shirt.
I want to peel the damn thing off to see it.
When we are sitting across from one another, it is a fight to not just crack myself open and let him see everything inside.
The only person I have ever let in was Roxy, so the fact that I feel so drawn to letting him in is a big fat red flag.
I need to steer clear of this man. He knows my father and brother and I need to control how that goes.
I can’t be having this fine ass man wedging his way in there.
Besides, what I want him for is a wild ride, and those never end well for me.
Every time I date a guy it crashes and burns in an epic way.
I am nearing the point of trying women out.
I mean, I am seriously attracted to women, but my aesthetic and personality make me attract the wrong women.
I come across as the rough girl, the dominant type, but I’m not.
I am the pretty princess type, even if I don’t read that way.
To be fair, I usually attract the wrong men too, maybe it’s me, maybe I choose to continue to date men because at least I know I am going into it assuming he will be a piece of shit.
Women seem easier to trust, and I think I might get burned even worse.
Roxy and her last longish relationship was an epic crash.
I sometimes don’t know how she gets back in the saddle after true heartbreak.
I have had some epic crashes too, but my heart is never in it.
The only person I trust and likely ever will trust is Roxy.
Then my real dad shows up and… all the rehearsing I did on the drive goes out the window.
He just seems to accept immediately that I am his and damn, he looks like a warm safe space.
Without even considering the potential consequences, I launch myself into his body.
Only when I am pressed against him is when a hint of worry hits my mind, but it quickly departs when his arms wrap around me tight.
I breathe him in, leather, something slightly acidic, like a cleaning agent and coconut. I let my eyes close as I soak him in.
For the first time outside of Roxy, I feel safe.
We hit up a brewery not far from the clubhouse, he seems to know the people that own the place, we take seats and order.
I pepper him with questions. He on the other hand asks me gentle questions about my life, clearly dancing around anything probing with my mother.
I appreciate him listening to my plea to let me have some room on that.
The one thing that was niggling at the back of my mind begins to scream at me and I have to know.
“How can you be so open to this?” I just point blank drop my question.
He smirks. “To be fair, I had a ride to the clubhouse to think about it. It isn’t a big surprise.
Pam was a fucking mess, a beautiful mess, but a mess.
She was reckless and wild. Just how I liked ‘em back then. We often forgot condoms. Your mom was shit at taking her pills. I think we just didn’t consider consequences.
Does it surprise me that she wouldn’t tell me about you? Hell no.
“I don’t think we actually even liked each other.
She was a bigger headache than anything else, but I was thirty, had an almost six-year-old, and had absolutely no interest in settling with a woman.
I just wanted a woman who made me forget about life for a short bit.
She didn’t seem to mind Ricky being around, though he wasn’t a big fan of her.
Look, I was a real piece of shit myself… ” He scrubs his hand through his hair.
“You seem to be describing me.” I frown.
He barks out a laugh. “Nah, you have responsibility coursing through you. You have a stable job. You have stable housing. You are sweet as pie.”
A snorted laugh escapes my lips. “No one else will agree with me being sweet.”
He eyes me. “Baby girl, if you don’t feel the need to be nice to someone, that is something wrong with them, not you. I can see it in you, you are good, you just don’t suffer the assholes.”
“Says the 1%’er.” I lift my brow at him.
He barks out a deep laugh that feels so dang comforting. “No disputing you are my kid.”
I offer him a little smile. “I mean… I look enough like you for it to be possible.”
“Baby girl, if your mama thinks you are mine, I assure you, you are.” He winks at me.
I give a little lift of my right shoulder. “She didn’t exactly say you were, but she did make it seem like you were. Claiming she did me a favor.”
He sighs and points at my shoulders. “If you want to hide your feelings, you need to control that better.”
“My shrugs? Don’t all shrugs mean the same thing?” My brow lifts at him.
He chuckles. “Not on you they don’t. When you are ready to be more open, I will be ready to listen. Ricky is going to be bent out of shape about this, but it’s fine. I should give you a little information on him—it’ll help.”
He leans back in his seat, his hand rubbing at his hair, a heavy breath pushes out his lips. “You got any problems with group relationships?”
I shake my head.
“Good. I don’t much get it, but it works for them, Mint and Wallaby, well, Paul but he goes by Wall or Wally mostly.
They are both with the loveliest little lady named Meadow.
While I do not need to tell you this because I am certain you will love the shit out of Meadow, I do feel like I need to say it because I think it would upset you if you hurt her by accident.
Meads is a gentle woman who… she went through fucking hell.
I mean… true hell. Some of the worst shit I have ever heard.
She is sweet as pie and takes a bit to come out of her shell with new people.
Ricky and Paul love her to pieces and would tear the world down if someone hurt her. You feel me?”
I nod, my heart pounding at a hard steady beat in my chest as I wonder what it would be like to have someone in my life that loved me that much. Roxy does, so I guess what I am trying to imagine is if there was a romantic partner who felt that for me. “I’ll play nice.”
He chuckles. “She will win you over real fast.”
“She must be at least a little badass if she is the woman of two club members.” A little smile pushes up my face while I imagine what this woman could possibly be like.
“Daughter of the Seattle Prez and you are right, she is a badass. The ladies you meet here are going to impress the shit out of you. We seem to collect the ones the world did dirty, and they thrive here.” His eyes move over my face, “We get to add one more.”
My eyes burn, tears? Do I want to cry? I don’t even remember the last time I cried for emotional pain.
I remember crying when I was a teen… those skin grafts and shit, that was so hard.
I don’t cry. I suck back against the feeling.
His hand rests warmly over the top of my hand that I have on the table. “Real fuckin’ proud to add one more.”
I wiggle my nose as I force my emotions back under control. I don’t do sad, or touched, or whatever the fuck this is. I do angry, annoyed, bitchy, and more… well, angry. His hand pats the back of mine. “How long you staying?”
“I, uhm, I took tomorrow off, but I think I am going to need to take another. I have to contact my clients and move them around.” I pull my hand from the table and wipe my palms down my thighs over my skirt, the gnarled skin a little uneven against my hands.
“I can’t stay longer than that with my schedule. ”
“I’ll come up to see you. I’d like to meet this, Roxy. She seems important to you,” He gives me a little affirming nod.
“Why would you want to come see me?” The words pop out without me having considered them first and how they likely sound.
Then again, how they likely sound is how I meant them, if I had thought about it before they came out, I would have tried to hide how it makes me look—weak.
I am certain he can see how surprised I am that he seems to want a relationship with me.
The only people that want relationships with me are…
well, just Roxy. Even the people I date don’t want a relationship, they just want to fuck me, oh and then the ones who want tattoos… and try to cut a deal.
He breathes out heavily. “The world has done you real dirty, hasn’t it?”
I eye him worried too much of my insides are showing. “I don’t know what that means.”