Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
CARBON
We finish church before heading into the council office, I take my usual seat, letting my mind wander while my brothers collect around me.
Kev, Mint and Wally are the last ones in—they usually are now days.
Apparently having a woman means you want to check in on her between meetings.
I get the idea, having someone you want to see all the time and know what they are up to, and being away from them makes it hard to not know how they are.
Some might think it intense, but whatever.
Everyone can do what they want, my mind meanders over to light hazel eyes and the most killer tattoos on the sexiest little body. Yeah, if I had a woman like Harry waiting for me in the family room, I might be pretty okay with people thinking my actions were a bit intense too.
I’d totally glue myself to her.
Fuck, I really would if I could get away with it.
Thankfully Harry lives in Portland, dodging her would be fucking hard if she was here and to be clear dodging her would be happening.
I know Mint well and that means I know he would not be okay with me chasing after her.
I also do not need her seeing through me, every time I jerk my rod I legit fantasize about her claws dragging light little scrapes across my thighs, hips, and even my fucking balls.
Fuck, I really want to know what it would feel like to have her wrap that little hand around my balls, giving a little squeeze, her nails pressing into my thighs…
I bet they would even dig a little into my gooch.
Fuck. I need to stop because I’m getting hard.
I shift in my seat, dragging my ankle up to my knee to give my body some room and cover, feeling damn glad there is a table here.
I do my best to embody Kevlar, throwing on my best resting bitch face.
Harry’s resting bitch face is so fucking hot.
Fuck. Enough! I mentally shake myself, forcing my mind to tune in as Jolt starts to talk.
“Mint, you have news?” Jolt states more than questions and we all turn our attention to him.
“Harry and Roxy are moving to San Jose next week. Roxy was officially offered the position here, Dad is thrilled. Harry will be taking an open station in Felt Tip’s place, and they signed a six-month lease on a place we checked out for them.” He grins.
“Why only six months?” Virus asks the question I am dying to know the answer to. I also hate the mix of feelings inundating me right now, the main one excitement.
“Dad and Roxy want to explore living in the same city before she agrees to move in with him.” Mint chuckles. “Hanger in love, who would have thought?”
We all chuckle with him. It is a surprise. Hanger has always been a bit of a wild card, one minute he is gruff as fuck, the next he is warm and fuzzy, but he is always good natured. I know Meadow really clicked with Roxy and Harry, so I am sure she is excited for them to be coming.
“Look, I know this shit is all still new, but Harry is fucking great and… well, that shit doesn’t matter, what matters is that she is my sister, and everyone needs to treat her with that kind of respect.
So, I want it clear to everyone that she is fucking family here and that means she is off-fucking-limits,” Mint grits.
“I don’t want any of the assholes here fucking this up for me and Dad.
That’s his little girl and just… fuck. I just want her to stay. Got it?”
Jolt drums his fingers on the tabletop. “We are brothers here, just spit it out.”
Mint and Wally turn to look at each other. Mint shakes his head. “I can’t.”
Wally nods. “Harry has been dealt a shit sandwich in life as far as we can tell. We are just feeling a bit protective of her. She can be… bold… and we want to make sure people don’t misunderstand it.
But we also suspect she has been burned hard in the past, maybe by boyfriends or something, so we don’t want that happening here. We don’t want her to leave.”
Now the wheels are turning fast in my head. What the fuck has happened to Harry? I am about to ask who we need to fucking kill, but Kev beats me to it. “Who hurt her?”
Mint and Wally both shake their heads. “Everything is under control for right now. Some of it might change eventually, but for now… it’s fine.”
“And you will tell us when we need to know?” Jolt questions.
“We will,” Wally assures us.
This doesn’t feel good enough to me, I want to fucking kill whoever hurt my woman.
What the fuck? I pinch my thigh hard to try to shock some fucking sense into myself.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Harry is my brother’s sister.
She is my brother’s daughter. She is so far off-fucking-limits.
I swallow hard against the pain I am inflicting on my thigh but keep squeezing because I need to get this shit through my thick fucking skull apparently.
The rest of the meeting is a fucking blur of pain for me.
I don’t dare stop pinching myself hard because I cannot seem to get this woman out of my fucking head.
I don’t stay after the meeting, telling them I need to get some work done, it isn’t a lie.
I just need to get the fuck gone and I likely will throw myself into work to try to forget my issues here.
Stepping in the door at my house, unbuttoning my pants, shoving them down.
I look down at my thigh where I have a deep bruise already forming beside one of the tattoos I have there.
There are blood smears from where I pinched a gash into my skin.
I scrub my hand down my face. Not again.
“What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck is with me and this woman? Let it fucking go man. Fuck.”
I have only seen her the one time, and she has become somewhat of an obsession for me.
I jerk off to thoughts of her, not just because she is the single hottest woman I have ever seen, but because I am totally incapable of keeping hard if I think about anyone else.
Watching porn does shit for me now. I am at a complete loss for what the fuck is going on with me.
This has literally never fucking happened before.
I mean, I definitely have stalker tendencies.
Okay, for real, I am a stalker. That was like my past life.
A reformed stalker! I mean, I was only a little bit of a stalker, it wasn’t like my whole job or anything, just you know…
I knew where she was, what she was up to, who she talked to…
normal shit, even if she didn’t know I existed.
Even when I was stalking Brie all those years ago, it wasn’t like this.
I mean she was my focus, but I wasn’t like…
I could still fuck other women. I could still maintain a hard-on if she wasn’t on my mind.
Frankly, she wasn’t always hiding beneath the surface of my consciousness. She was just this obsession…
Harry on the other hand feels like breathing.
Something you do without thought that is absolutely necessary because without it you would die. How can I be this fucked up over someone I have been in the same space as one fucking time? Nearly that entire time she barely said two words to me. I am utterly baffled.
I rub at my face. If I could tell my brothers about this, I am sure they would knock my brain back into shape like they did when they found out about the little Brie thing.
These guys keep my head screwed on tight and now…
fuck, I have to get myself in gear, I can do this.
I just… you know what, I bet when I see her again it won’t even be a big deal.
This is probably one of those temporary insanity things and when I see her again it will all go back to normal because she won’t live up to the hype in my head.
I look at myself in the entryway mirror, the one Mom had me install, giving myself a firm nod. “You got this.”
My phone rings startling me. Fuck, I am not usually jumpy, I really need to get myself together.
I jerk up my pants, buttoning them before I pull my phone from my pocket.
I feel my insides calming as I see my mom’s picture come across the screen.
I hit answer. “Hey Mom. I was just thinking about you.”
“Aww, I love that. Jimmy said you seemed out of sorts when you left tonight, I just wanted to check in.” I fucking love my mom.
I really lucked out with her, I may not have any idea who my biological father is, but it never changed a thing for my mom…
my dad either. Mom was a sweetbutt and well…
we know my biological father is likely a club member, but I don’t really look like any of them, so we couldn’t ever figure it out.
Thankfully one of the guys asked my mom if she would be willing to give life a shot with him and he would be proud to be my dad.
I’m not sure if my mom had deep feelings for him when they started out, but she definitely fell hard for him.
She calls him Jimmy, but we call him Pine.
Even though he isn’t my bio-dad, he is my dad.
I have a great relationship with both of them and Dad is completely smitten with Mom and doesn’t give two shits about her time as a sweetbutt.
Honestly, I wouldn’t want to know who my bio-father is at this point. I fucking love my parents.
“I’m good,” I tell her.
“Frankie, lovebug, don’t you bullshit me,” her warm sweet voice, that has a hard edge to it cuts through the line.
“It isn’t anything you need to worry about. I have it under control.” I don’t know what else to say because it has always been too easy to be open and honest with my mom.
“Lovebug, you know I will always hold any secrets. Even from Jimmy,” she says gently.
I breathe out then back in. I know she would, but honestly Pine would notice, he notices everything about me because he and Mom are both seemingly tuned into me. “Mom… you know how I can get.”