6. Juliet
Chapter 6
Juliet
"Is he really The Syndicate Devil?"
The rawness of my abused throat made me grimace with my words. Even though the dryness and aching dulled out after some fluids and the warm bowl of soup that Leah brought me, it still hurt to talk.
Leah didn't pause her physical examination of me as she replied, "Yeah, but don't let that stupid moniker get to you. He really is a big squishy underneath it all. He is literally the cuddly bear personified. Really, don't let him intimidate you. Not gonna lie, yeah he is as ruthless as people make him out to be, but only to those on the wrong end of it all. He doesn't go around eating children for meals or anything. I mean, he's kinda rough a little under the surface, too… But deep, deep down, he's mushy. He has a very good heart, though, or at least it's right where it counts."
Yeah, not sure how to take all of that because their definition of good could very well be different from mine. "Is he safe for me to be around?" I peered up from my lashes while nervously fiddling my fingers.
He felt safe last night, and if I was honest, he still felt a little safe. Yes, his huge size scared the fuck out of me, but there was this hardness in his eyes, this determination when he looked at me, that made me feel safe in his presence. Yet, I didn't want to be around him out of fear of his capabilities. Besides, what if he wasn't this 'good' man Leah made him out to be? What if he was an actual devil without other people around? He could very well be my next tormentor, my next abuser, assaulter, and I wouldn't be able to stop him.
"He's the safest option for you right now besides the others in the syndicate. While you are under his protection, no one, and I mean no one , will dare look your way, let alone think about touching you again." Leah's confidence in her words made me feel a little better about being here.
Unfortunately, I couldn't help but feel out of place still. This wasn't my home; I felt like an intruder, an unwanted guest. "Why is he even putting up with me? I'm a stranger to him, a complete nobody. I mean, I'm thankful for him saving me last night and bringing me here and having you check me out, and I don't know how I will repay him because I literally have nothing." My words trailed on when my rambling picked up until tears streamed down my face again.
I didn't shut up until Leah pulled me into a tight hug and soothed me. "Hey, don't think about all of that. If Luciano didn't want you here, then you'd be at a hospital or one of our shelters. He isn't one to pick people off the streets and bring them to his private home. And don't think badly about yourself like that. You are somebody. You might be a little lost, but you exist. Don't let what happened define you because it doesn't. How you respond to it all does."
"I really am nothing, though. My parents abandoned me, fucking sold me to a damn brothel, basically. I have no money. I don't even have my own clothes or anything. Whatever self-respect and dignity I had was taken last night by those monsters along with my body." Dejected, I exhaled heavily. "I just… I don't feel like a person anymore, just some shell, some dirty and used thing. I feel worse than trash. I don't even want to live anymore."
My own body felt so disgusting to me, and my mind was constantly plagued with the horrors of my ordeal. Phantom pain lingered and flared at the memories until they felt real again. Even if those men were no longer here physically, everything they did lingered. No one would want me after this. Used goods, trash, junk, that's what I was now.
Even though the marks on my body will heal, seeing all the bruises in the shape of hands and fingers from where they held me down or forced my body into positions against my will made me want to hurl. Bruises, abrasions, and lacerations littered my body, and they served as a constant reminder of my assault whenever I looked at myself.
I couldn't escape it even though I escaped that damn place. Every time I closed my eyes, I was sucked back to the place. Hell, every time I blinked, I would be back on that vile stage. Every thump of my heart reminded me of the gavel banging against the podium.
Even my own body served as a mocking reminder with all the bruises, scrapes, cuts, and aching pain that refused to go away.
Leah smiled at me sadly as she helped dress me back up into the oversized shirt and boxers. "We'll make sure you make it through this. I will leave you to rest. You seem like you need it. I'm going to make some phone calls to get a therapist set up for you as well. Unfortunately, mental health isn't my forte." Leah softly chuckled with a warm smile.
"What do I do now?" I shrunk into the bed, bundling myself tightly in the soft sheets.
"I'll let you and Luciano talk that one out. Technically, you can do whatever you want, but I feel like that's a conversation for you and Luciano to have." Leah flashed me another smile before packing her stuff up. "I'll have the test results over the span of the next few days, and I'll call you, err well, I guess I'll call Luciano and have him give the phone to you since you don't have a phone right now. Either way, I'll get the results to you as soon as possible. I'll be back around a few times over the next week or so just to check on you and make sure you're okay with everything. Of course, to be sure, I'll come around in about a month for that repeat pregnancy test." Placing a hand on my shoulder, she gave it a comforting rub and squeeze. "Well, I'll leave you alone for now and let Luciano know to come in later after his meeting."
All I could do was meekly nod my head in return and bury myself deeper into the bed until I was nearly obscured. The thought of being alone in the room with Luciano made my nerves go haywire with panic. I didn't want to be alone anywhere with any man, let alone be in a room with a brutal mafia boss.
My breath caught in my throat when a knock came from the door. I nearly damn well shot out of bed to go hide when it opened, and I saw Luciano appear. "Hey, it's just me, just here to talk." I didn't think his deep voice would soothe me, but it was soft enough that I didn't want to run.
Honestly, he would be less daunting if I didn't know about his mafia background and moniker. "T-thank you… For last night. For helping me." I kept the sheets tightly wrapped around me, a barrier almost between him and me. "Leave the door open! ...Please…" I grimaced at the stinging pain from my sudden panic when I noticed him pushing the door closed.
Removing his hand from the door, he held them up in the air while slowly approaching me. "Is it alright if I sit on the bed? Or would you rather me keep my distance?" He asked after stopping between the bed and the door in the middle of the room.
"B-bed's fine… But not too close…!" It felt weird to think about having him at a distance, but the thought of him close threw me off kilter, too. I didn't know what I wanted.
Warily, I followed his cautious figure as he sat at the foot of the bed. "Leah might have told you already, but I'm Luciano." Don't know if it was purposeful, but I was thankful for him keeping his deep voice smooth and low.
"Luciano Agosti, right? The Devil of The East Coast Syndicate?" I felt stupid for asking, but I needed to hear it from him.
Chortling, he gave me a grim smile with a nod of his head. "Yeah, and I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat any of it for you. I know of my reputation and what they say about me on the streets. I will not deny any of it because it's all true to some extent. I'm not a good person in terms of what I do. I'm a ruthless and violent man, but only towards my enemies. I would like to say that I am a fair and honorable man, though. You have nothing to worry about from me. I don't hurt children or women unless it's really an exception, which has only happened a very small handful of times. But you have nothing to fear of me, Juliet. You are safe here in my home and with me."
It should be illegal for him to say my name with how smooth it rolled off his tongue, and I should be locked up in a mental ward for thinking anything of it after what I've been through and the fact he's at least twice my age. "I don't know what to do now… I don't want to bother you more than I have, but—"
His hand immediately cut me off, and he shook his head. "You are not a bother, so stop thinking that and get it out of your head. I wouldn't have brought you to my home if I didn't want to bother with you. As far as what's going to happen next and what you're going to do, you're going to get comfortable here, make this place your home because it is now. I've spoken with Caroline—"
Hearing her name made me go frozen with fear. "No! Please don't send me back to her, please! I don't want anything to do with her anymore, please." My wheezing became distant as the room closed in on me with my tightening chest. I couldn't focus on anything else but the heavy dread dragging me under.
A tight warmth constricts around my rocking body, smushing me into something fleshy but solid. Incomprehensible words slowly penetrated my panic as my breathing became more paced, but I wasn't sure how or why because it felt out of my control. "…In…t…slo…got…" Slowly, the words came out clearer. "In and out, slowly, you got this, you can do it, you're not alone, I've got you, I'm here, I got you. You're safe here."
A part of me wanted to scramble away and put as much distance between us as possible because it felt so dirty to have a man touch me right now, but the comfort and safety anchor Luciano brought me right now was too good to let go. "I'm sorry," I muttered against his chest, peeling my head away and frowning out of embarrassment at the tears and snot on his shirt.
Reaching over the nightstand, he snagged some tissues and wiped at my face. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault. You didn't ask or want any of this to happen. So, don't ever apologize for your reactions to your trauma, understood?" Grasping my chin, he locked his stern but soft eyes with mine.
After I nodded my head in response, he nodded over to the bottles of pills on the nightstand. "Do you want some of your medication?"
"No, don't like meds." And after hearing the whole spiel of side effects from Leah, I wasn't too keen on wanting to take them. "I'm sorry about your shirt. That was so nasty of me." God, the first decent man in my life, and I slobber all over him.
"Juliet, it's just a shirt, I don't care. Besides, this isn't the worst I've been covered with." I sensed a story there, but he didn't elaborate any further.
Pulling back, Luciano pulled the sheets back up because he'd pushed them off me to hold me and bundled me back up before moving away to the end of the bed again. "I'm not handing you over to that bitch, nor am I handing you back over to your parents after hearing the story. So, you're staying here until further notice."
I opened my mouth to say something, but he held out a hand to stop me again. "I won't hear any arguments. You're staying here with me. I will provide for you and protect you." Luciano let out a heavy sigh, "And right now, staying with me is your best and possibly only option. The moment you go out there, I can only do so much to prevent Lady Heral from getting her claws into you, but while you remain fully under my care and protection, she and everyone else won't dare look your way."
His pitiful expression gazed down at me. "You've no one else to turn to. Sad to say it to you, but it's true. As I see it, you only have two options: stay with me or leave and risk the lounge again. And this time, you won't be able to escape, nor will anyone save you. You used your one miracle of a lifetime, so I suggest you don't push your nonexistent luck now. If you leave, I can guarantee you that it will only be a matter of time before Lady Heral snatches you up again to work off your parents' debt."
Screw him.
Unfortunately, I couldn't argue with him because I was on the losing side. His points were valid, sadly. If I left his place, his protection, I'd be a lost rabbit in a sea of wolves. As strange as it was, staying really was my best and only option if I wanted to go back to a somewhat normal life—if I survived that long. I hated that I even thought about ending my own life when I was being tossed a saving line, but the fact Luciano was willing to help me wouldn't stop the trauma from rearing its ugly head, nor would it change the fact that my body had been defiled.
No matter how raw I scrubbed at my body, no matter how hot I turned the water up, and no amount of soap could rid the phantom feeling of their disgusting hands. It made me feel gross and disgusted in my own skin.
Then the fact that the men—no, bastards—who did this to me were roaming around out there as if nothing happened. I didn't feel normal anymore, and I hated it. Thinking about returning to school after all of this, I don't know if I could. What if someone found out? I' d be the outcast and lose everything completely regarding friends and social standing.
"I don't know what to do…" I felt stupid for uttering those words, but it was the truth.
With a sigh, Luciano slowly moved back over and unwrapped me before hugging me tightly. "That's fine. That's what I am here for. What you're going to do is recover. You'll stay here with me, let me take care of you, and obey my rules for you. Alright?" All I could manage was a small nod in response because I had no other choice, really. "Once you and Leah find a therapist, I'll have home visits set up twice a week until you are ready to move it to once a week and so on. You are going to attend therapy because that's the first step to working out your inner turmoil. The second thing that is going to happen is a visit to your parents."
Mentioning my parents made me flinch involuntarily as my anxiety rushed me again. "I don't… No…" Their betrayal stung me like a poisonous knife to the chest, and I didn't want to see them ever again. I mean, how could they disregard me so easily like that? Like I meant nothing to them.
"Yes, we're going. I need to have a nice little chat with them, and you need to get your stuff unless you really have nothing sentimental there. I am fine replacing all your stuff, but this will be your only chance to get anything personal unless you plan on returning yourself some other time. You won't be alone. I'll be there with you and some of my men." He remained firm in his decision, and his unmoving expression meant nothing would sway him.
"I don't want to see them." I bit out defiantly and stubbornly with a shake of my head.
Sighing softly, he looked down at me and patted my head. "You won't have to if you don't want to. You just have to go in and straight to your room to grab your stuff while I occupy your parents. I promise, unless you want to see them, you won't, not with me around." He assured me with a slight smile before letting me go.
"I'll punch you if I see them," I grumbled to myself as I bundled myself back up in the sheets.
"If that makes you happy, then sure." He chuckled with a slight roll of his eyes, making me wonder if he was serious or not. "Either way, besides the things I've listed so far, you're going to attend school as usual, graduate, then go to college nearby if you wish, or we can discuss more on what you want after graduation." A slight tension and dip in his voice towards the end made me wary of him because it sounded like he withheld or omitted something important. Then again, I could just be overly paranoid and on edge after everything.
Pursing my lips, I sat there silently, letting everything fully sink in with much confusion. Luciano befuddled me greatly with all he put forth. Clearly, he wasn't going to let me leave, but why? I was just another petulant teenager, surely, and he seemed like a busy man who probably couldn't or shouldn't be bothered by me. Yet, even though he gave me the option of fending for myself out there, he made it seem grave to the point where remaining with him was the only real option.
"Why are you doing this? I mean, I'll accept all your conditions and all, and I'm grateful for it all, but at least tell me the truth about everything." Yeah, I was more than fed up with being kept in the dark about shit involving my own life.
Luciano looked at me pensively for a few seconds before sighing softly. "Honestly, I don't know fully. Just something about you and how you looked at me that night." He shrugged me off with his seemingly half-assed answer. There was some truth to it, but it felt as if something was amiss again. "I mean, initially, I was going to let you go after you recovered, but given the light of new information regarding your situation, I just don't feel comfortable one bit, letting a young woman like you out there with no experience." Again, it was truthful, but I sensed something was omitted.
"Kind of hard to believe a man like you would have trouble letting someone like me go fend for themselves given your ruthless reputation," I remarked with a roll of my eyes.
"Have you done something to deserve brutality from me?" He questioned with a raised brow, crossing his arms and leaning back against the bedpost.
"No… I just… A man like you…" I didn't know how to put it nicely without possibly offending him.
"Shouldn't have a heart?" Well, he didn't sound too torn up about it. If anything, he sounded like he made a joke of it. "I've heard it all, princess. Nothing phases me anymore. I might not seem like it, but I still am a human at heart. I might not have much of a heart towards my enemies and those who break the rules of the syndicate, but if you're innocent, then you've nothing to fear from me. I'm not some bastard asshole who treats everyone as worms beneath me. My parents raised me better than that."
"I'm sorry… It's just so weird… Not to offend you or anything, but I'm somewhat fearful of you because I don't know you, yet you're so kind to me despite all I've heard about you. It's just a little confusing for me." I should be afraid of him, and I was, but not fully. His act of goodness taking me in and doing all of this really caught me off guard.
"No need to apologize. I'm more surprised at how well you're taking this given how your life got tossed into a pile of shit out of nowhere. I assure you, though, you have nothing to fear of me unless you wrong me. As long as you follow the rules I set forth, then consequences won't come to you." At least his soft little smile was genuine and comforting enough to settle some of my nerves.
"What are the rules?" And back under lock and key I went.
Brushing a hand across his jaw, he let his eyebrows furrow together for a second before replying to me. "Besides not wrecking my place, you are allowed nearly everywhere in the house except my office and all of the business wing unless stated otherwise. You will always have at least two guards with you unless you are in your private room. You're welcome to anything and everything in the place and on the property BUT the cars." Luciano paused and gave me a very pointed look, making me shrink a little with my nod in response.
Softening his face back up to a somewhat friendly smile, he continued. "Don't throw crazy parties. Ask me beforehand if you plan on throwing something with more than ten people. You are to inform me about your whereabouts. I don't particularly care where you go as long as I know where to find you. If I do ever tell you to do something, then I expect you to obey me without question."
Is he going to have me give myself to him? Kill someone? Oh god, what if he wants me to be his slave or something?
The thoughts sped through my brain and hung on my tongue, but before a word could come out of my mouth, he held a hand out to stop me. "No, I won't ever ask you to do anything illegal, immoral, or anything you'd find uncomfortable. I am not a complete devil, like what people make me out to be. If anything, I will tell you to stay home on certain days, stay safe in your room for certain times, or avoid certain areas."
"How will I get around then if I can't touch your cars?" As if I would even dare in the first place.
Luciano answered me casually with a soft shrug of his shoulders. "Your bodyguards will take you nearly anywhere you please without question. Keep in mind, I will give them orders not to take you anywhere unsavory or illegal for your age, so don't think about going out to any clubs or bars."
"Don't worry, I'm not that kind of person." And as if I wanted to do any of that after what happened. The last thing I wanted was to get roofied and dragged into some alleyway. Also, the thought of grabby hands on my body made me want to hurl. "But if you ask something of me that makes me uncomfortable—"
"Which won't happen." He assured me sternly with a curt expression.
"IF, like big if, then I get to refuse it or at least get an explanation before refusing it." Despite not being able to give my full trust to Luciano right now, I felt pretty confident that he wouldn't be some despicable man in that regard.
"Just know that if I ever tell you to do something, then it's for your safety. I wouldn't have you do something just to be an asshole, but fine, not as if I'd ever tell you to do something uncomfortable." He agreed with a wave of his hand.
"How am I going to pay you back for all of this? Or what's the catch?" No such thing as a free lunch is what my parents grilled into me; well, they grilled me on the fact that nothing in life was ever truly free.
"You be a good girl and live here with me, that's it. You don't have to pay me back for any of it. I'm doing this because I want to and because I want you to have the good life you were almost robbed of." There was that unsettling feeling again. Something went amiss, but what?
"Can I be alone now? I'm tired and want to nap." I needed some time to myself to process everything fully and accept it all.
"I'll be back later to wake you for a late lunch then and give you the stuff Leah's gonna drop off later. If you need anything, the guards are right outside your door." He seemed reluctant to leave as if he had something to say but didn't.
Great, how the hell am I supposed to live with him when he wasn't being fully transparent with me?
Men like him—mafia men—always had secrets, which I hated. Granted, there were probably some things he couldn't tell me because they weren't his to tell, or maybe he was just an asshole and didn't want to tell me something… Or it was to protect me… But I was fucking tired of being in the dark when it came to my life, and I was a nosey little shit.
Huffing out a loud sigh, I ruffled around on the bed to get comfortable, which was easy to do because the bed felt like some soft cloud—if a cloud could be solid. I thought my parents had nice beds, but fuck, this beat it by a long ass mile.
Curling up into a ball, I lifted the front of the shirt up to my nose and inhaled deeply. It was so embarrassing and weird, but I couldn't help myself. The rich, deep scent of warmth, whiskey—I think—and amber flooded my senses and body with a warm comfort.
Well, at least he smelt nice, or at least his clothes did.
Sighing heavily, I buried myself further into the bed with another huff before letting my eyes flutter closed.
Rest and recover. I could do that… I think…