33. Luciano
Chapter 33
Luciano
"Tapout! Tapout! Tapout!"
I had already pulled out the first time she used her safe-word, but she had become inconsolable ever since. Even now, as I held her tightly in my arms, her tears burned my skin like acid when they splattered on me, and her pained sobs with her uncontrolled use of her safe-word felt like a dull knife slicing away at my very being.
It felt like an eternity as I sat there feeling like a useless sack of shit while Juliet suffered in my arms. I didn't know what to do to help her. Soothing her with my words and soft touches did nothing, and I was too afraid of triggering her more if I went with the typical method.
She was already breaking in my arms; I didn't want to shatter her completely.
"Juliet, amorina , please." My heart cracked with my voice as I muttered a string of silent apologies to her.
I needed to take control of her, and it was what she needed of me as her lover and as her Dom. She trusted me to bring her back to safety in these moments, no matter the method.
In all honesty, this would hurt me more than it would her.
Jerking her body, I threw her head back with a violent motion and wrapped a hand around her neck while my other arm remained tightly around her like a constrictor. "Juliet! Get out of your fucking head." I raised my voice initially in hopes of breaking through to her.
Squeezing the sides of her neck, I watched as her hyperventilating slowed because I forced her to pace her breathing. "You are not there, so get out of your own head. Whatever you are seeing and feeling is not real anymore. It's all in the past, so leave it there and come back to me." I spoke in a dominating yet gentle voice as I adjusted the pressure around her neck as necessary; I wanted to choke her enough to shock her mind back to reality, not to make her pass out.
"Juliet, listen to my voice, focus on it. Come back. I know you can. You are a strong girl, my strong girl, so you can do it. You are in control, sweetheart. Those demons are nothing to you. Shove them back, put them in their place." God, if only I could take away her suffering, I would do it without a second thought. " Amorina , come back to me, love."
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I rest my forehead against hers. "I am so sorry for not being better, for sending you into this state." I sensed her reluctance and hesitance, and I should have stopped then. I should have listened to my heart and put a stop to it, even if she said otherwise. "I swear, never again. I will never hurt you like this again."
"Luca…" Her breathy voice squeaked between her hiccupping.
Completely freeing her neck, I settled my hand on her collarbone as I tucked her into me. "I am here, sweetheart, I am here." I kissed every inch of her face as I muttered apology after apology under my breath.
I only stopped running my mouth when Juliet grabbed my face with both her hands and forced me to look her dead in the eyes. "Stop." She commanded in a tired and raspy voice. "Stop apologizing. It's not your fault. I pushed myself when I shouldn't have because I wanted to enjoy things with you. I was fine, really, but I don't know exactly why it all came crashing through as it did. I don't fully understand it myself quite yet, but it is not your fault." Her fingers stroked at my eyebrows and cheeks as she reassured me with a warm smile that broke me.
"Luciano, darling, look at me." I didn't realize my far-out gaze until she said something. "I'm sorry for not being able to—"
I quickly shut her up with a kiss. "No." Now, it was my turn to hold her face with care. "Don't you ever apologize for not being able to give me something, especially sex."
"But I asked you for it and never delivered." I hated how torn she was over this trivial matter.
"And what did I tell you about consent?" I asked, hoping to jog her memory of our talk on the subject a while back.
Looking down, she muttered, "It can be taken back no matter when or what. It doesn't matter if I agreed to something beforehand. If I change my mind, then I can take it back."
With a tilt of her head, I peered into her avoidant eyes. "And that applies where and to who?"
Sighing softly, she presses her face further into my hands. "Everywhere and everyone, and if they don't respect it, then I can stab them." Seeing the small smile crack with her flat joke at the end made my chest feel slightly lighter.
"There's my Juliet," I chuckled, kissing her forehead. "But I prefer if you had me or one of your bodyguards do the dirty work of spilling blood."
"Stabbing's not my thing anyway, so that's fine." She forced a chuckle out as she slid her hands down to my bare chest. "But you really aren't mad or disappointed with me?"
A sad smile ached my face as I shook my head in response to her. " Principessa , no, never for something like that. I will never get mad or upset at you for using your safe-word, ever, and that is how it should be. A safe-word is there for a reason, sweetheart, and I told you before, but I will tell you again, I never want you to ever hesitate to use your safe-word with me at the slightest discomfort."
Bringing her face up into a deep kiss, I held us together for a while until Juliet's hands slapped at my chest. Chuckling in response, I broke the kiss and breathed heavily while Juliet gasped for breath. "Jerk, my lungs aren't as big as yours." She pouted with a soft glare.
"Would you dare say I take your breath away?" I joked with a laugh.
That was too fucking cheesy, but it got Juliet to soften up and respond with her own laugh, so I felt no shame in being a cheesy fucker.
Pulling her down fully onto the bed, I pulled the sheets over us and cuddled her. "What do you need right now, amorina ?"
Humming happily, Juliet buried her face into my chest. "Just hold me for a bit, then food." She mumbled against my chest. "Can we have pasta tonight? Alfredo? And salad?"
"Think the others have already ordered pizza knowing them, but if that is what my sweetheart wants, then that is what she shall get." Not like that would be a hard meal to throw together.
"Give me my money back, you brat," Ares demanded of my girl with a menacing glare after he stalked up to her.
Not bothering to look at the hulking mafia boss, she continued to tap away at her phone. "Wow, you need to learn some manners." Juliet snickered with an innocent smile on her face when she peered up at Ares from her position next to me on the couch. "But also, I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, how can an inexperienced child like me possibly manage to come close to your accounts?" Okay, now she was being a little shit—and I was living for it.
Ares's jaw tightened in a scowl as he growled at Juliet. "Why, you little…" Clenching his fists at his sides, he harshened his glare at Juliet, who smiled humbly. "You better undo what you did, or else."
Uh oh.
Juliet's whole demeanor straightened out defiantly as she stood and got up in Ares's personal space with her arms crossed. "Or else what? You gonna hit me? Sue me? Go ahead, I dare you to try something." She goaded him with a crazed grin. "I heard your car collection is a lot more extensive than Luciano's. It would be a shame if they all just drove off one night, never to be seen again. And seeing as you are broke as a joke, you can't replace them."
Maybe I should stop this before they actually rip into each other. I mean, Ares wouldn't hurt Juliet physically; he wasn't one to be violent towards females. But he had an arrogant mouth that often ran way before his brain, and the last thing I wanted was for him to say something hurtful or triggering to Juliet in a moment of anger.
"I mean, if you have such great techies on your payroll, then they should have no problem undoing whatever this hacker did to your accounts." With the smile still on her face, she gave a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders as she sat down in my lap. "Although, I would tell them to chop chop because who knows how long the money will just sit there before it gets blown on whatever whim the hacker has."
"Also, I don't know why you're accusing me. There's no way I would be capable of something like this, being eighteen and fresh. I don't have the skills, as one would say." Juliet's sarcastic voice continued to lay it onto Ares, whose face grew redder and redder by the second. "Maybe you should go find this hacker and maybe beg at their feet to undo their fuckery." She suggested with a cruel smirk.
"Luciano, your little girlfriend is just as much of a little shithead as you." Ares bit out with a frustrated shout.
Laughing in response, I merely smirked at him as I threw an arm around Juliet's waist. "Well, maybe next time you will think twice about insulting someone and undermining them because of their age." Maybe he would have thought twice about his earlier words if he had known about Juliet's antics against me, but then he wouldn't have gotten a lesson out of all this.
Sometimes Ares was much too prideful as he was aggressive for his own good, so he needed to get his ass humbled from time to time.
Being the arrogant little shithead he was, Ares refused to bow to Juliet and sulked off a little ways to get back on the phone with his men. Although, it was only a matter of time at this point until all of us got a memorable event of Ares apologizing for the books.
"Honestly, if he ends up with someone, I'm gonna keel over and die because who on this earth can put up with such an ass like him," Juliet grumbled with a slight roll of her eyes.
All of us grew quiet with somber smiles, making regret twist on Juliet's face. "Oh my God, please don't tell me I just spoke ill of the dead." Her face paled as she sunk into me to hide.
Sighing heavily, Sebastian took a swing of his beer before looking at Juliet and replying in a forlorn voice. "Ares… well, I was going to say he wasn't always like this, but that would be a lie. I guess the more correct thing to say would be that he hadn't always been this intense. He did have someone years ago, but we don't know much or anything about who the woman was. All he would tell us was that she was some simple girl who he wanted to keep out of our mafia mess and that she was murdered one night."
"Well, now I feel like a complete ass." Juliet groaned dejectedly.
After a small moment of awkward silence, we all managed to get back into better spirits by talking about the shit we did in the past and our plans for the future. It was nice until Ares rejoined with an unamused glare.
We all thought he would start up some shit with Juliet when he approached her, so we were shocked at the words that came out of his mouth. "Can you please give me my accounts back? I am sorry for being an asshole to you and saying you aren't capable." It wasn't loud, but it was enough to be heard. "I'll give you the damn list myself once we are done compiling it, just please undo whatever the fuck you did, please."
Holding up a hand to Ares, I quickly stopped him before he could speak again. "I will discuss the list issue with Juliet at a later time, so just go back to apologizing sincerely and begging." I couldn't help but smirk like a cheeky bastard with my last words as I proudly held my girl.
Turning her head back at me, Juliet narrowed her eyes dangerously. "There is nothing to discuss about it. I am going to take part in ruining these people's lives, and if you think you can talk me out of it, then you have another thing coming for you." She didn't even have to sound threatening for me to internally shrink away in fear.
Sighingly tiredly, I flick her forehead. "I never said anything about keeping you out of it or talking you out. If you want to take part, then I am not going to stop you because lord have mercy on my bank accounts if I try."
As much as I didn't want her to, there was no stopping her. Besides, she would be safe behind her screen. Not like she would be out in the streets with us where she'd be in real physical danger.
"We just need to lay out expectations and ground rules for you, that's all, along with who you can and can't go after because of circumstances," I told her with a pointed look. "So don't get your panties in a twist, sweetheart."
The rebellious tension fell away with her shoulders as she smiled sheepishly at me. "Sorry, thought you were going to pull a macho mafia boss bullshit card."
Rolling my eyes, I gave a short, breathy chuckle and kissed her forehead. "With you? Never." Because she would raise Hell against me if I did.
Hell hath no fury like Juliet scorned.
I might actually end up in a bed of thorns next time.