CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Zane
PRESENT DAY
“Until we didn’t.” Until we fucking didn’t.
Blair’s quietly delivered statement stabs me in the gut and I visibly cringe. How can three little words pack so much emotion?
She’s right, though. We always worked things out, always made time for each other and found ways to sneak around, until the night of my birthday, when one little act sent both our lives spiraling out of control.
“Blair, I—”
“Nope. We’re not talking about that now.
This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have messaged you, it’s just…
” She trails off but I don’t need her to answer.
I saw it in her eyes when she first hugged me.
She finally understood what I’ve been drilling into her since the first time we kissed.
Hell, maybe even before that. She deserves the world, and any man—including her boyfriend—that doesn’t see that and doesn’t help her achieve her dreams shouldn’t be part of her life.
It’s the reason I couldn’t completely commit to her.
She knew that. I was always honest. With her.
But when S— my sister died, Blair seemingly lost that strength, and I’m determined to get it back. Anything to get her away from that soft cock.
A smile involuntarily tugs at my lips and Blair frowns.
“Sorry.” I chuckle at her annoyance. “I was just thinking about the phrase ‘soft cock’ again. I must thank my teammate for introducing me to it.”
Blair tries to hide her smile, but at the last second, it shines through. “Despite the fact that you’re referring to Nathan when you say it, I have to admit, I kind of like it. I’ll probably steal it in the future.”
“No doubt. Just don’t say it to his face. That’s not a very nice thing to do.” I wink and Blair gasps.
“Zane!” She bites back her laughter, lightly shoving at my chest.
Catching her hand, I hold it in place and stare down at her, not bothering to hide the way my heart thunders in my chest. For her.
I love physical touch. Specifically, the kind that ends in a release. But it’s always been different with Blair. When Blair touches me, she sets me on fire, leaving a scorch mark in her wake. A mark, that if visible, I’d proudly display like one of my tattoos, showing the world that she’s mine.
That she’ll always be mine. No matter the time or distance between us.
The last seven years have proven that.
“Blair?”
“I should go,” she tells me, but the way her breathy voice lifts, you’d think she was asking permission.
“Do you want to?”
“No. I mean, yes. I want to. It’s late and I have a lot to do tomorrow.”
“Like finding a job.” I raise a brow but keep the annoyance from my tone, feeling guilty when Blair sighs.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“You should at least consider the job in San Francisco. It’s only a half-day drive back to Na-than.” I choke on his name but smile through it. “You could see him on your days off.”
Blair’s gaze shifts uncomfortably but she recovers, offering me a sassy grin. “That simple, huh?”
“Yep.”
“So… if I was your girl…” She trails off, stepping closer as she walks her fingers up my chest, her eyes lingering on the wave tattoo that wraps around my rib cage.
I draw in a breath as I watch her, my muscles twitching with her every touch.
“If I was yours,” she repeats, her voice light and flirty, making me picture what her being mine would look like, “you’d be okay with me living in another city? ”
What? “Hell, no. I’d want you in my bed every night.”
“That’s what I thought. So why should Nathan agree?”
I cringe at her rationale. She’s got me there and that notion pains me.
“Fine. Don’t take the job. But please, please tell Nathan about it.
Make sure he knows what you’re giving up for him.
Maybe he’ll work harder to look after you.
” Blair opens her mouth to speak, but I stop her, holding a finger to her lips.
“Don’t sass me with your ‘I can take care of myself’ bullshit. He should be looking after you.”
“I wasn’t going to,” she mumbles against my fingers, sending a spark to my cock.
Down, boy, now is not the time.
“If you’d let me speak, I was going to thank you. That’s oddly nice considering you hate the guy.”
“Come now. I don’t hate him.” I wave her off and she scoffs in disbelief. “I despise that asshole. And nothing in this world will ever convince me that you’re right for each other.”
“I don’t—”
“I’ll respect your wishes,” I cut her off. “You want me to accept your relationship, so I will. But I can’t stay away anymore. Not now that I’ve seen you again.” Not now that I’ve tasted your lips.
“That’s not fair and you know it.”
“For who? We’re friends. Are you not allowed to have friends?”
“I am.” She rolls her eyes. “But you and I have never been friends. That kiss was anything but friendly.”
“I’ll tell you what… I won’t kiss you again, if you promise this isn’t goodbye.” The words taste bitter in my mouth, but I mean them. I may not care about Nathan, but I’m against cheating in general. Usually. Despite what my past with Easton’s ex might suggest.
“Zane.” Blair folds her arms over her chest like I’m being unreasonable, but it does nothing to change my mind.
“The ball’s in your court, Little B.”
“Fine,” she huffs, brushing her hair behind her ears when the cool night breeze blows it across her face.
“This isn’t goodbye.” She gives me a shove, and while I could easily stand my ground and block her in, I allow her to move me, watching as she stalks toward the driver’s side of her car. Holding back.
I’ve already pushed her too far tonight. Baby steps.
“This isn’t goodbye,” she repeats. “It’s see you later. Much, much later. Think…another life.”
Jesus. I flinch, the finality of her words stabbing me in the chest. And she’s none the wiser.
Without a backward glance, Blair jumps into her car and slams the door closed.
From the light of the streetlamp, I catch her cringe when her injured hand hits the steering wheel, but she doesn’t give in.
And before I know it, she’s driving away.
All while I’m left with a blood-soaked T-shirt and her whispered whimper playing through my mind.
The wind tickles my naked skin and I laugh at myself, jamming the heels of my hands into my eyes, groaning. Loudly.
Maybe time apart isn’t such a bad thing. I’m so fucking gone for her that it’s embarrassing.
But fuck if I can stop it.
After another quick detour, this time to find a new shirt, the buzz of chaos is almost comforting when I finally arrive at the airport. The more people, the easier it is to blend in.
I’m too late for an earlier flight, so I’m stuck waiting around for my original late one, regretting how I’ll feel come morning. We may not have a scheduled practice on Tuesdays, but I’ve never missed an early morning workout, and I refuse to let tomorrow be the exception.
When the shrill tone of my alarm blares at 4 a.m., I slam my palm down on the clock beside my bed, groaning into my pillow. That is, until the image of Blair’s wide eyes and heaving chest flits through my mind and I can’t help myself.
It was worth it.
Kissing the perfect curve of her mouth was like coming home after a rough day. God, I can still feel her lips. Still taste her. She was sweeter than I remember, and I can’t decide if it’s because she’s forbidden fruit or I just really like the taste of her.
Either way, I want more. Too bad I promised I wouldn’t kiss her again. Me and my damn morals.
Accepting the inevitable, I drag my tired ass out of bed and throw on my workout gear. Ignoring the sting of my eyes, I force myself to scarf down a banana before jumping in my car and slapping my cheeks a few times. Anything to wake the fuck up.
When I arrive at the stadium, I wave to Jim, our regular security guard, and swipe my card to let me inside, pausing after I’ve stepped through the threshold.
Like always, it’s eerily quiet at this time of morning, and as I walk through the halls, the motion-sensor lights buzz, coming to life as I pass under them, bathing the space in a soft glow.
Setting my playlist to rock anthems, I go through the motions, running to warm up before working my way through my regular sets.
I’m nearing the end when the door slams behind me and I curse under my breath, sending out a silent prayer that it’s not one of my coaches, or worse, one of the guys from the group chat.
“Zane, my man,” Luke greets the back of my head and I visibly wince.
Of course it’s him. I’ve been working out alone at this time on a Tuesday for three fucking years and he chooses today to show up.
“Luke, how are you?” I glance over my shoulder, giving him a nod then resuming my position below the bar, launching into my final set of pull-ups.
If I think Luke’s going to tell me he’s good and leave me alone, I’m sorely mistaken.
“I’m much better than you, I hear.” He chuckles to himself. “How’s the cough?”
I snort out a laugh and my arms quiver. “I’m on the mend,” I croak out, forcing myself to complete one more rep before dropping my feet to the ground. “It’s amazing what a little hot lemon and honey will do.” I smile and grab my towel, wiping the sweat from my brow, throwing it back on my bag.
“Is that what you’re calling her? I like it.” Luke grins, his lips tight as though he’s giving me props for the creative nickname.
“It’s not a name, douchebag.” Though I internally smile at the fact that he’s not far off, honey to my Queen B.
“Okay. What do you call her then? And when are you getting married?”
“The fuck?”
“You missed practice for a woman, right? That usually means she’s special.”
“How… You know what? Never mind.” When it comes to Luke, I’ve learned he’s like a dog with a bone.
May as well be honest, because he’s not giving up any time soon.
“She is special,” I tell him, gesturing for him to spot me as I lie down on the bench.
If he’s going to be chatty, the least he can do is assist in my workout.
“She’s a friend,” I offer, hoping he’ll drop it.
“A friend?” He laughs, walking behind the bench press, standing in position as I begin my first rep, the weight slightly higher than I’m used to since I’ve got someone to spot me. “Why don’t you ask Reed how that story plays out?”
My muscles tense. “What story?” I grunt, playing dumb, and immediately regret engaging.
“The ‘we’re just friends’ bullshit. I give it a month.”
“A month?” A strained laugh bursts out of me.
“I wouldn’t place that bet. It could be that long before I see her again.
” If she has any say in the matter. If it’s left up to me, I’ll be seeing her before the week is out.
I might even stop in LA on my way home from our game against Phoenix this weekend.
My thoughts drift to Blair’s mouth and I lose concentration, my strength wavering through my next press up, needing Luke’s help to get the bar into position as my muscles give out.
“What happened then?” he asks, concern marring his expression.
“Like I said. I’m sick.” I fake a cough and Luke blows out a raspberry.
“Lovesick, maybe. You need to get your head out of your ass or you’ll hurt yourself.”
“Thanks for the advice, Dad.” I sit up and shake out my arms, turning around, armed with an over-the-top smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You do that.” He scoffs, as though I’m some careless child, and I can’t help but snicker. I care about things; my well-being just isn’t high on that list right now. I’m too caught up in Blair.
Waving him off, I shift my attention to the row of treadmills across the hall, mentally planning out my cooldown.
But Luke’s not letting it go. Even after I’ve walked away.
“Zane,” he calls out from the other side of our gym, still in the same place I left him, frowning when I turn around. “Bring a friend next time. You’re lucky I was here.”
“You’re right. Thanks. Same time next week?” I wink and he barks out an incredulous laugh.
While I may have been joking, I have a feeling these workouts will no longer be done alone.