Chapter 29 - Cross
TWENTY-NINE
CROSS
Hayze was right all those days ago when he said change was coming to Dark Falls Hollow.
It’s clearer now than ever that I’m not the only one with these thoughts.
In fact—it’s already here. Delilah has turned this compound upside down, her arrival and everything that has transpired since has brought us closer to the realization that our lives are not as we’d like them to be.
So now, what do we do about it? I have ideas, lots of them.
Hayze has thoughts as well. And I think Malakai would walk away tomorrow.
But it’s not that easy. I’m never too certain of exactly what’s in Arrow’s head, but what I do know is this—he’d do anything for Delilah. But on a whole? Uncertainty reigns.
How do we leave behind the only life we’ve ever known? The four of us are at a crossroads of sorts, all in various stages of acceptance as to what we should and can do about it.
The Collective doesn’t take kindly to change or disobedient sons. So … we’ll bide our time. Plan. Strategize. And try to find a way to get clear of this. I’m not delusional. It won’t happen overnight, and not without a struggle.
The question is does the Collective sense what’s coming? The minute they do, we’ll all be in trouble. And even without them knowing what’s in our heads, Delilah’s in more danger than ever.
Under the blaze of the spring sun, I let my mind wander as I finish working on this morning’s assignment.
My body aches, but we’ve finally got a handle on the best way to attack this bridge rebuild, and the last day or two we’ve been working as a mostly smooth assembly line, each man pulling his weight without much issue.
I’m certain from the way the Collective continues to push us and bark orders that the need to send someone across the river has intensified. My father announced early this morning that Twenty-Two’s child is a boy. So now everyone is anxious to be able to retrieve the paternity results.
I glance toward my father and the other three members of the Collective where they are huddled up and talking as they drink from their canteens.
I’ve been watching their interactions all morning long and one thing is abundantly clear: things are fucking tense around here.
Between the impending revelation of who fathered the newest son and Delilah’s deception, the Collective has worked themselves into a lather.
Kiefer gestures angrily, then jabs a finger in Finneas’s direction.
My eyes widen. From the looks of it, I don’t anticipate it’ll be long before things escalate.
I glance toward Hayze, meeting his gaze.
It’s clear he’s been watching the argument play out the same way I have.
Working my jaw to the side, I check to see whether anyone is paying attention to me.
They’re not. I need to talk to Hayze, Arrow, and Mal …
but the other two are too far away. It’d attract attention we don’t need.
Picking up my canteen, I stride over to our leader’s son.
With a short nod, Hayze takes a long drink as I begin to hurriedly explain myself. “I thought you should know—I hid the key to Delilah’s room last night.”
His brows dart up high on his forehead as he lowers his drink. Pressing his lips tightly together, he slowly nods.
“Couldn’t take any chances,” I mumble.
“You’re right,” he agrees, his voice rough. “I should have thought of it myself.”
I shoot him a faint smile. “I felt responsible. My father never would have used the ultrasound machine on her if he wasn’t teaching me.”
“Not your fuckin’ fault. Has Nolan spoken to you about any of it?”
“No,” I mutter quietly, shooting a furtive glance toward the man in question. “He got caught up with Fenix. After that, I kept out of his way.”
Hayze exhales hard. “You know they’ll want to punish her.”
“That’s why I had to do something. She’d already endured enough.
” I glance quickly toward the older men, then bring my gaze back to Hayze before quickly finishing, “No reason to believe that they noticed anything amiss, though. I put the key back first thing.” I don’t know if continuing to move it from the hook is a measure we could—or even should—take to ensure she’s left alone, though.
Could cause trouble later. Grimacing, I shake my head.
“We both know Arrow’s been sneaking down to see her for a long time.
Hayze—” We need to coordinate with them.
Eyes flicking toward the other two, my friend holds up a hand and simply nods, seeming to guess the path my thoughts have taken. I shrug, understanding him just as well. Later. We’ll talk later.
I’ve only just turned around to finish my assigned work when my father barks, “Cross. Come here a minute, would you?”
I stiffen, snapping to attention, mildly concerned that he noticed my longer-than-necessary break.
After I join him, his anxious gaze darts in the direction of the building, though it’s impossible to see through the trees. “If you’re about done there, could you head back and check on Fenix for me?”
I nod, relieved it’s only that. “Of course. Anything in particular you need me to do?”
“Check his vitals and make sure the IV drip is still going. Remind Eight that she needs to have him drink plenty of water. Once you’ve done that, report back.
” He scratches the side of his head, eyes traveling to survey what we’ve accomplished today.
“I believe we’re going to be down here a while yet. ”
“You got it.” I take off but am waylaid by Arrow before I can slip away among the trees.
“You’re going in?” His anxiety levels are through the roof.
My brows furrow as I study him. “Yes.”
Speaking in low tones, he murmurs, “Can you do something for me?” At my careful nod, he continues, “See if you can find a way to check on Delilah somehow. Tell her I’ll try to see her soon.”
My brow raises, but I don’t comment. Arrow’s obsession with Delilah is growing by the day.
I rub the back of my hand over my sweaty brow.
I can’t blame him. Don’t even believe for a second that I’m impervious to this girl.
As I stand there, I see her in my mind’s eye.
All that fear … but also the trust she had in me to help her through the chaos that’d ensued after her IUD was found.
I blink, refocusing on Arrow. “Yeah. I need to check on her, anyway.” In truth, my intention the second my father said I could check on Fenix was to steal a few minutes with her to make sure she’s okay after yesterday, both physically and emotionally. I have concerns about both.
With that thought in my mind, I take off, hustling back through the dense woods. I’ll see Fenix for sure—his sudden illness is bothering the shit out of me—and then I’ll see if I can locate Delilah. The women probably threw her headlong back into her chores. Not that they have a choice.
My teeth clench together, grinding slowly as I break through the trees into the field between the forest and the main building.
Fortunately, Fenix is alert when I go to look in on him, though pale and a bit weak.
I check his vitals and finding them within normal ranges, I breathe out a sigh of relief.
The sudden onset of his illness just makes no sense.
With it in my head that I’m going to do some research, I ruffle a hand through his hair.
“Make sure you rest and drink water when Eight gives it to you.”
He frowns but nods. “I feel mostly okay now.” His lip trembles, and it guts me a little bit because I know I’m the only one he’d let see that.
He wouldn’t have shown an ounce of fear to my father.
And what kind of craziness is it that we’re forced to hide our emotions, our weaknesses, or be ridiculed for them?
My teeth grind at the injustice of it all. “Good. I’m glad you feel better.” I shoot him a smile, handing him the book that’s on the bedside table. “Rest up, I mean it. I’ll come back and check on you later.” He nods and cracks the book open.
I slip out of my father’s infirmary with zero intention of reporting immediately back to him.
Instead, I spend the next few minutes looking for any sign of Delilah, finally locating her in Henry’s bathroom.
She’s on hands and knees scrubbing and doesn’t realize I’m watching her at first, so I take a few seconds to observe.
Every movement she makes is cautious and slow.
I work a jaw to the side, picking up a blanket from the foot of the bed before moving to stand in the doorway. “Lilah,” I whisper.
Her head whips around, blue eyes wide with surprise as they land on me. Those luscious lips part. “Yes?”
I close the distance, then hold out my hand to help her to her feet. “Come on.”
Delilah hesitates, glancing from me to the wet sponge she’d been using to clean the floor of the shower. “But I’m not done.”
I shrug. “So, you’ll return to finish later. I need you to come with me now.”
She eyes me warily, tongue slipping out to wet her lower lip, but she finally nods and puts her hand in mine.
I don’t let go, liking the feel of our fingers interlaced.
We move as quickly through the halls as I think she’s able, heading away from the rooms inhabited by the Collective.
My heart thuds heavy in my chest, and I glance at her to find she’s watching me, curiosity filling her expression.
She remains silent as we take one turn, then another, before I finally lead her into the new wing.
I bring Delilah with me into one of the partially finished suites—the one that is supposed to be mine one day—then pause, drawing her before me.
“I want to make sure you’re okay.” Gripping the back of my neck, I tug on it as I consider what the best approach to any of this might be.
My eyes flick to hers. “First, I thought you could benefit from talking to someone if you need to. I—” Pausing, I catch the inside of my cheek with my teeth.
“I could be that person for you. None of this can be easy,” I mutter, then wait a few beats, watching as emotion flickers over her face.
“After everything that happened yesterday.” My breath hitches and my hand squeezes hers. “Are you … okay?”
Cautiously eyeing me, she opens her mouth to speak but then thinks better of it and swallows hard as if trying to ingest something unpalatable.
Blinking rapidly, her tone is insistent as she murmurs, “I’m as well as could be expected, Cross.
It was”—she pauses to wet her lips—“traumatizing. I’ll be fine.
” Will she? Fuck, I feel awful. “There’s nothing to be done.
It’s not like we can change what happened.
” She gives a one-shouldered shrug, then swipes her fingers under one eye and clears her throat.
Fuck. Is she crying? I can’t quite tell.
Releasing her hand, I spread the blanket borrowed from Henry’s room out on the floor.
“Let’s sit for a minute.” Delilah looks at me like I’ve lost it—rightfully so—but allows me to help her be seated.
I clear my throat, eyes wandering over her.
“How about … physically? Are you—?” Fuck.
Did I hurt you? Did I cause more than emotional damage?
I want to scream all those things, but don’t know how.
A moment later her shoulders lift a fraction before falling again. Drawing her legs to her chest, her gaze wanders over me while I sense she’s searching for the right words. “You know, I was back to my chores. Working and everything. I’m mostly fine.” She heaves out a breath, looking away.
The exhale I release is unsteady. “You’re sure?
” I’m not so certain, and the way she’s torn her focus from me doesn’t inspire confidence.
I hadn’t really known what I was doing when I pulled that thing out of her, and I’m fucking worried, even though the research I’d done later that night led me to believe I handled the removal as best I could have under those circumstances.
Still. It’d been a tense situation, and I would have taken more care if there’d been time.
Fuck, I still can’t believe women walk around with those things inside them to prevent conception.
I bite down on my lip. Fuck. Or maybe I can?
Several beats go by before she finally mumbles, “The removal irritated things a bit at first, I think.” A pink stain washes over her cheeks. “I’m a little … crampy. But I think I’m okay.”
Relieved, I exhale. “All right. I could—”
With a roll of her eyes, Delilah murmurs, “Check?” Shaking her head, she stares at a spot somewhere over my shoulder.
“Well, yes.” My face heats at the idea that’s popped into my head. “But there might be other things that could help.”
Her brow arches. “Medication?”
I huff out a laugh. “Wish I could do that for you.” At her curious expression, I grimace. “That stuff’s kept under lock and key.”
“Oh. No biggie.”
“Let’s come back to that, because I do have an idea.
” Studying her for a moment, I cock my head to the side.
While staring into the depths of her blue eyes, regret and anger and a million other things wash over me.
I don’t have a clue why everything is hitting me so hard right now, even after she’s assured me she’s okay.
A heavy sigh falls from my lips. Eyes crashing shut, I ponder for several seconds how to put words to any of what’s running through my mind.
“Lilah”—my voice breaks on her name, and it’s all I can do to continue—“I need to say something.” Both hands dive into my hair, and my fingers thread through the strands as I use them to rake over my skull.
“It makes me sick, what happened in that room.” And I will never forgive myself if it fucking broke you.