Chapter 10
ESSENCE
As I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering how and why my life got so fucked up, I wait for the anxious racing of my heart to finally settle down now that Evan is gone.
He left the house earlier than he usually does, but even after he closed the door behind him, I’ve been feeling so on edge until right now.
I wince when Lunchbox licks the aching bruise on my cheek. Normally, anything that’s supposed to be painful feels pleasurable, or at least not as painful as it should be. This, however, is the kind of pain that didn’t happen because Evan knows what I like.
No, I feel this pain for what it is—abuse.
My phone lights up with a text from Ebony asking to meet up for lunch this weekend. I want to finally tell her about everything that’s been going on with Evan and the man in the mask, but I know that as soon as I do, she’ll hang up on me and call the police.
Plus, I’m just not in the mood to listen to her lecture me, so I quickly type, “Sure,” and toss my phone back onto the bed.
Being with Evan is getting more and more dangerous every day.
Now is the time for me to get things in order so I can finally leave.
Unfortunately, the townhouse is in his name, so I can’t kick him out—which is fine because there are way too many bad memories here, anyway.
But I do need to find a place to live soon.
The problem with that is, as an early childhood teacher, I barely even make enough money to live on my own.
It would take a while for me to save up enough to pay for the first and last month’s rent, plus security and any possible pet fees.
It could take months, and that’s time that I just don’t have right now.
Another option would be to move in with my sister, but I couldn’t impose on her like that. She has a husband, a child, and a whole life of her own, and I don’t want to ruin that for her. If our parents were still alive, I’d go back to the safety and warmth of home.
The only other choice I have would be to ask Dante if I can crash with him for a while until I'm able to get back on my feet. I know he wouldn’t have any issues with that; what I'm worried about is if he would willingly let me leave when I'm able to. He has this crazy possessive streak about him, and I wouldn’t put it past him to keep me locked up in his house for the rest of my life.
Warmth pools between my legs at the thought of being his captive, willing or unwilling. How would he take me for the first time? Would he be gentle?
Even though he can be a perfect gentleman in public, Dante doesn’t strike me as the gentle type in the bedroom, and that makes me more intrigued.
I close my eyes with the intention of resting them, but the image of me in between Dante and the masked man floods my mind, and I’m not tired anymore.
Suddenly, my bruised face is forgotten as I gently place Lunchbox on the floor and grab my vibrator from my nightstand.
“Hold on, bubba,” I say when he whimpers and tries to jump back up.
Just one quick orgasm should help get my mind off of everything, right?
I turn on the little teal device, and it hums to life. Tossing the comforter away, I kick off my shorts and underwear before lying back down.
My back arches when I press the vibrator against my wet, sensitive clit. My teeth dig into my bottom lip, and my free hand grips the sheet so tight I’m sure my knuckles are white.
While using the toy to stimulate my clit, I use the tips of my fingernails to pinch my nipples as hard as I can, hard enough to draw blood. Most people wouldn’t be able to hurt themselves like this, but I’ve never had a problem with it.
I always have the best orgasms when I'm either being hurt or choked.
My teeth dig into my bottom lip so hard, I'm sure I’ve drawn blood there, too. My body feels like it’s shattering as I climax; my moans are loud yet pitiful as they fill the silence of my bedroom.
As I’m lying on the bed trying to control my breathing, my skin begins to tingle like I’m being watched.