Chapter 30
ESSENCE
In all of the craziness of yesterday and last night, I’d completely forgotten about work. I called my boss earlier and started to explain to her what happened, but she told me that my boyfriend had called and let her know that I’d be out the rest of the week.
She definitely seemed weirded out about that since I’d just told her he’d died—and I can only assume that Dante is the one to thank for that—but she didn’t question it any further and told me to take care of myself.
It’s about nine o’clock now, several hours after I called Dante earlier. What’s taking him so long?
Almost as if on cue, the doorbell rings. I check the doorbell camera on Ebony’s tablet and see Dante standing on the porch holding Lunchbox in one arm, and a bouquet of flowers in the other.
My stomach flutters violently at the sight of him. Quickly checking myself in the mirror, I smooth down some flyaways and open the door.
“Hi,” I say a bit breathlessly when I see him. He looks so good standing here in his black jeans and boots, plain white t-shirt, and brown jacket.
Then I see his hair, and my eyes widen in surprise.
“You hate it,” he says nervously, smiling in a boyish way that shows off his dimple.
I shake my head and reach out a hand to run my fingers through it. “You look so handsome,” I say earnestly. If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d say he was blushing.
God, he’s so fucking cute.
Lunchbox whimpers in Dante’s arms. I take him and step aside so Dante can come in.
“I’m so sorry for leaving you,” I say, nuzzling my puppy’s black and white spotted fur. Dante must have given him a bath this morning, because he smells like his shampoo.
Evan never took care of Lunchbox, never did anything for him, so Dante’s care for him melts my heart in ways he just doesn’t even understand.
“Thank you so much for taking care of him,” I whisper, voice thick with unshed tears.
“You’re welcome.” He hands me the flowers. “These are for you.”
I smile as I take the bouquet from him. I’m not sure what kind of flowers they are, but they’re the most vibrant mix of colors that resemble fire: bright yellow in the center bleeds into a soft orange tipped in blood red.
“They’re so beautiful,” I murmur, mesmerized by them. “Thank you.”
Dante doesn’t say anything, he tucks some hair behind my ear and caresses my cheek with his thumb, carefully so as not to hurt the bruises on my face. My stomach does somersaults from the gentility of the action coming from such a large—sometimes dangerous—man.
Now that I’m actually looking at him, I see a bruise on his cheek that I hadn’t noticed before, and his nose is a little swollen.
My brows furrow in concern as I reach out and gently touch the area around the bruise. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing. Just got hurt at work is all,” he says dismissively, never taking his eyes off me.
“Does it hurt? I can get you an ice pack.” I start to turn toward the kitchen, but he grips my waist to keep me in place.
“I’m fine,” he says quietly. “I promise.”
I nod. “Okay. So, I really hate to ask this of you, but would you be able to keep Lunchbox for a little longer? My sister loves him, but she doesn’t want animals in her house,” I say with a chuckle.
He nods. “Of course. So, what happened last night?”
I sigh and look behind me towards the hall where the bedrooms are. Matthew and Ebony are fast asleep, but my sister is a light sleeper, and I don’t want to disturb her with my company.
“It’s a long story, Dante, but the short version is that Evan is dead.”
Dante’s eyes widen. He and Evan didn’t know each other well, and they certainly didn’t have the best interactions, but I’m sure this isn’t easy for him to hear, either.
He doesn’t say anything for a minute, and neither do I. Lunchbox nuzzles his face into my neck and whimpers; he must be able to sense the change in the air.
“How are you, baby?” Dante finally asks.
I swallow. “Honestly, I’m having some conflicting feelings that are making me feel like a horrible person.”
“Don’t say that about yourself, Essence,” he says quietly, but his tone is a little harsh. “You’re a saint for dealing with him as long as you did. You’re free now,” he says, echoing my earlier sentiment.
I exhale. “Yeah. I am.”
Dante checks his watch. “Well, I should let you get some rest.” He takes Lunchbox from me and holds him close. “How am I supposed to get in contact with you now?”
“My brother-in-law ordered me a new phone; it should be here in a few days.”
He nods. “And…” he trails off, seeming unsure about his next question.
“What?”
“Are you planning on coming back home?” he asks. “You know—with me?”
Home.
I did feel like I was at home when I was with him, and I know Lunchbox feels the same way judging by how comfortable he was there.
I chew on my bottom lip nervously. “Oh, well, I didn’t want to impose since we’re not… You know…”
He smirks. “Since we’re not a couple?” he finishes.
My face is flaming now, especially considering what we’ve already done together. “Yeah.”
“You already know how I feel about you, Essence,” he says. “I’m just waiting for you to be ready to be with me.”
Right. And of course, now I’m thinking about the masked man again. How am I going to tell him about Dante? We’ve already been through so much together, and when I envision a future for myself, it’s Dante that I imagine standing there next to me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, breaking me from my thoughts.
I blink. “Nothing, uh, I just have a lot to think about. Can you give me your number so I can call you tomorrow?”
I go into the kitchen to put the flowers down and grab a pencil and sticky note. When I come back out, Dante is standing by the front door with a dejected look on his face.
“Dante?”
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks.
My brows furrow in confusion. “No, of course not. Why?”
He looks at me like he doesn’t even know me, and a sharp pain lances through my stomach. “Then why don’t you want to come with me?”
“Dante, it’s not that I don’t want to come with you, I just need to spend some time with my family. You understand, don’t you?”
His jaw works as he grits his teeth. “That’s the only reason?”
Now I’m really confused. “What are you talking about now?”
He lets out a sharp exhale and shakes his head. “Never mind. I’ll see you later.”
Before I have a chance to say anything else, he leaves with Lunchbox.
I call after him for him to give me his number, but he ignores me.
Standing on the porch in nothing but my sister’s yoga pants and thin t-shirt, I’m shivering as I watch the taillights on his truck speed down the street and around the corner.
What got into him? I wonder as I go back inside to the kitchen to put the flowers in water. I’m so hurt by his reaction, and now I won’t have another way of getting in touch with him unless I call the firehouse again.
It’s not until I’m back in the guest bedroom, snuggled under the covers, that it occurs to me.
He feels rejected. In that split moment of me thinking about the masked man, he took my deep thought for hesitance.
It was never my intention to make him feel unwanted, but my feelings for both him and the masked man are warring.
I want them both, but I want Dante more, and I should have told him that.
Now he’s mad at me, and I don’t know when I’ll see him again.