Chapter 35 #2
Elanee and I share a glance as Sienna enters the kitchen, because the reality is, we now know men who are very capable of that kind of unremorseful rage.
When Sienna opens the cupboard, her eyes go wide. “Holy shit, I haven’t seen so much food in these cupboards in like… ever.” She pulls out the chocolate cookies and immediately tears them open and starts inhaling them.
It’s refreshing to see Sienna like this, not because of her pain, but because she’s always been so conscious of what she eats, when she eats, and how she eats.
Much of that has to do with her being a model, but it’s the first time I’ve seen her not give a shit.
It sucks that it’s under these circumstances.
“You can’t give up opportunities because of him.
” Elanee looks as if she’s about to give her numerous reasons as to why.
“You were so excited for that acting gig. If you want that job, then you turn your fine ass around and board a flight back to London. If not, you start finding gigs here and show that asshole what he lost.”
Sienna shoves another cookie into her mouth.
“I like this side of you, Elanee. You’re right.
Fuck Michael. Gosh, I’ve missed you girls.
” Her voice wobbles. “But I don’t want to talk about him.
Why did you invite us over, Romi? Oh, and we also need to discuss this Dante Moretti thing.
What the hell? You know Lorenzo is going to go crazy when he hears about this.
He made it very clear that he and his brother don't get along. Does Lily know?” She bites into another cookie and talks around the mouthful.
“I never thought you’d be declaring a relationship on social media. Must be pretty serious.”
My hands clench into fists. How do I explain that the asshole in question is the one who instigated the self-proclaimed relationship and is also the reason they’re both here in the first place?
I don’t care for labels, and I didn’t think Dante did either.
Then again, he’s a possessive asshole who doesn’t know personal boundaries, so here we are.
But if he weren't so overbearing, then I might’ve missed out on all of this.
It feels nice to have tears and laughter in my apartment again.
My friends, whom I’ve been pushing away for so long, are pardoning my shitty behavior from the last few months.
It feels like, bit by bit, my life is moving forward again.
There’s just one more person I need to reconnect with now.
“No, I haven’t called Lily since she left.
I’ve been... a shitty friend.” There are a million reasons I could give, but the main one is that I’m not sure how to face Lily or ask her about Lorenzo’s background, especially over the phone.
But I want to get my life back together, so when I see her next, she knows I’m okay.
That I’m no longer the chaotic mess she was so worried about when she left.
“You’re not a shitty friend,” Elanee says with sincerity. “We all have our battles, and we’re allowed to have our moments. It’s how we come out on the other side, and those who stand by us during the storm, that matters the most.”
“Yes!” Sienna perks up as she makes room for me in the kitchen to finish off the tea. She offers Elanee a chocolate cookie.
“Oh, have you finally quit?” Sienna asks, and when I look over my shoulder, I notice she’s peering into the trash where a half-full pack of cigarettes sits on top.
I lift a shoulder, as if it's no big deal. “It was never my thing anyway, was it? Only on drunk nights, I suppose.”
They don’t say anything, but I can tell the energy in the room shifts slightly. It's not judgment I'm sensing from them, but maybe relief. Not because of me kicking the habit, but because of how much I’ve changed. Now, it feels like I'm seeing light at the other end of the tunnel.
“So, what were you talking about before I got here? You know I want to hear all the Dante gossip. He’s hot.”
“He’s arrogant and rude,” I say as I place their teas in front of them.
Sienna's jaw drops, and Elanee is smirking as she blows on her tea. “And, yeah, I guess he’s hot,” I quickly add.
“But, no, we weren’t discussing Dante.” As much as that will ruin his day to hear, because that asshole definitely only wants me to be thinking about him all the time.
I release a shaky breath, ready to ask Sienna for her help with my plan. “I have an idea for my upcoming collection. I don’t have much time, and I’ll be cutting it close, but I was hoping that, maybe, if you have the time, you two could help me?”
“Yes, anything. What do you need?” Sienna offers, and I’m certain she’s appreciative of the distraction. I understand it too well, and when she’s ready to talk about it, I’ll be here for her.
“I want to publish Lorraine’s books and incorporate them into my collection. The money we raise from the books will go toward depression awareness for women and facilitating a safe space for them to receive the support they need.”
“I absolutely love the sound of this, but won’t you have issues with her mother? If she’s already come at you once, won’t she do it again? Maybe try and sue you or something? She’s been making ugly accusations. Don’t you think this will make it worse?”
It’s not surprising that she knows about Meredith's claims, especially the most recent one, and I hate having to account for it.
It saddens me to know that Lorraine's mother has only ever used her for money, twisting and manipulating stories to get her own way.
But I've already considered it in great detail.
“I have thought about that, and I’m going to speak with my mother and her lawyers. Meredith only wants money. She’s always been like this. Besides getting a restraining order so I never have to deal with her again, I’ll make her aware of the manuscripts.
"I overheard Lorraine on the phone with her once, talking about one of her stories, and her mother told her she was an idiot for having such a bold dream. I figured if her mother is aware that we’re wanting to claim the manuscripts to use in whatever form we see fit, and we pay her off for them, she’ll never bother us again. ”
“Do you think she’d be okay with that?” Elanee asks cautiously.
I let out a deep breath. “Yeah, I do. At least, I hope so. As I said, I think she only wants money, and I have plenty of it. I don’t want to give her a dime, but if I have to pay her off to make this a reality, then I'll do it. I want Lorraine’s books to be published.
I think she’d approve of where the funds are going and how it might help other women. ”
It kills me to even consider giving Meredith money, but I need to not have her looming over my shoulder for the rest of my life. Because I have to move on, and I can't do that if she's hanging around in the background, waiting to pounce.
I have the money from Lorraine's rent payments in that account I set up, which I always anticipated using when Lorraine was ready to publish on her own. It saddens me to know that she won’t be here to see it, but I hope that if heaven exists, that she's looking down at me and that she's proud.
And as nervous about it as I am, because pulling this off in such a short amount of time will be a miracle, I’m certain with my friends backing me up, it’s far from impossible.
Dante is a meddling asshole, but sometimes I think he knows what I need before I realize it myself.
He knew I needed to stop fighting this battle on my own and accept others' help. I’ll never admit to him that he’s right or that I’m grateful, because that simply wouldn’t be on brand for me.
And I’m still furious about him getting into my phone and doing God knows what besides messing with my Instagram account.
So maybe I’ll only chop one of his balls off instead of both of them.
“Where do we begin?” Sienna asks, glancing between Elanee and me eagerly.
My heart races with excitement because after all these months, I finally feel like I have direction again.
Finally, I'm ready to take my life back with both hands and remind everyone who the fuck I am.