Chapter Three
Sasha
His big, rough hands scuff over my skin like sandpaper. It sounds painful, but I love the reminder of how skilled Ryder is with his hands as he touches me. How strong, hardworking, and capable he is. How his hands tell a story of the life he’s lived.
My clit throbs just thinking about it. How did I get here? What am I doing?
I shudder beneath his touch as he gazes down at me with dark, hungry eyes.
God, I love this man. I love everything about him. The way he looks. The way he breathes. The way his body moves against mine. The way he thinks. The way he talks. The way he watches over me. The way his massive body makes me feel like a dainty little flower about to bloom.
My thighs ache and the need I’ve held onto for years comes full force, throbbing between my legs with a desperation I didn’t think was possible.
“Baby, I need you on your knees. Can you do that for me?”
My entire body shudders as I stare up at him. He’s called me baby for years, but never like this. Never with so much roughness in his voice.
My entire body shivers and my skin crawls with desperation to do anything and everything he asks. I’ll get on my knees, I’ll suck his cock, I’ll let him explode inside of me, and I’ll gladly lick every last drop before opening my mouth to let him drip down all over.
I sink onto my knees, unzip his jeans, and tug his girth into my hands, stroking back and forth as I lick the tip over and over again. It’s here that my brain catches up with my desire and I realize I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.
Should I tell him? Should I let him know he’s the first man I’ve ever been with?
No, I’d look stupid. He’ll think I’m a child. I’ll freak him out.
I stroke his long, thick cock in my hand and lick the tip as he digs his fingers into my hair.
“Good girl, baby. Now go deeper.”
My clit throbs as I swallow him down and gag on his length and whimper against his thick cock.
Why do I love it? Why do I need more? I’ve never wanted a man’s dick in my mouth so badly. Hell, I’ve never wanted anything this badly.
The heat of Ryder’s palm moves down the side of my face, over my shoulder, and down my arm before wrapping my wrist and pulling me upward. His biceps flex as he moves, and though I haven’t said a word about my past or what I’ve done, I get the sense that he already knows.
His lips brush against mine and I’m on fire. This is where I belong. There’s no doubt in my mind. I’m meant to be with Ryder. Here, now, and forever.
He grips the back of my neck and pulls me against his lips tighter, kissing me with fervor and purpose. Like he’s waited all his life for this moment. Like he worships me. Like he’s always worshipped me.
My heart pounds heavy against my ribcage as I tip up onto my toes, kissing him deeper and deeper, losing myself in the moment.
It’s not until the phone rings that I’m torn from the bubble of warmth I’m lying in.
Why does it always have to be a dream? For once, why can’t I wake up against his chest, in his arms, feeling his breath on my skin?
My clit throbs as I reach for my cell and stare down at the screen.
Dear God. It’s Mason.
Why is reality so mean? I’d bet no one else on Earth is being thrust into a conversation with their ex-boyfriend directly after having a sex dream about that same man’s dad. No, things like that don’t happen because most people have the wherewithal to get a grip before their fantasies get this far out of control.
I close my eyes and slide the call to ignore. Whatever he has to say can wait. Right now, I need my vibrator and ten fantastical minutes of whatever sexy images my brain can conjure.
I pull the wand from the bedside table and land the little plastic nob against my clit, but I’ve barely started the thing before another call comes in. This time, it’s Ryder.
He calls out of the blue to check on me every once in a while. He has since Mason and I broke up. Sometimes, it’s just a quick call to say hi and to ask if I need anything. Other times, we get talking for hours about some random thing going on in our lives. He’ll tell me about the horses getting out of the barn, or how far behind he is at the mill. I’ll tell him about the complexities of classifying library books and how many people in town are severely overdue on returns. Sometimes we’ll talk about my current writing project and how blocked up my brain is. Usually, he calls once a week. Never more, never less. This would be his second call in three days. Maybe he’s planning to come by with the window seal I need. I talked about a leak on Monday night. That has to be it.
I slide the phone to answer, clearing my throat after the words don’t come out the first time around. That’s probably a product of forgetting to switch the vibrator off.
“Hey. Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” his voice rumbles against my ear, and I drive the vibrator against my clit harder. Why I do this is anyone’s guess. I surmise it’s because I’m a horny little bitch who has no boundaries. “Just thought I’d call and set up a time to stop by and fix that leak. It’s been pretty cold. I’m sure you’ve got a decent draft comin’ through.”
Sure, I love a man who can fix things, but I’ve never had my panties soak from the mere thought before, unless you count today. The sound of his voice alone is enough for me to get off on, and my hips inadvertently grind up against the vibrations like a needy animal.
‘What the hell is wrong with me’ alarms go off in my head as I sigh.
“You okay?” Ryder clears his throat as though he knew exactly what that sound was.
“Yeah,” I say breathlessly as I rub against the vibrations. “I’m good. What day works for you?”
“You sound out of breath, baby. What’s wrong?” His voice cracks as he says, “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“Ugh, not a bad time. Just… had something to take care of and…” My clit throbs and I’m so close to finishing I’m not sure I can stop. Should I tell him I’m touching myself, that I think of him, that I’m about to soak my sheets to the sound of his voice… because I kinda wanna tell him.
Silence ensues, and the only sounds leaving my lips are the quiet sighs I’m trying to mute.
“Don’t stop, baby.”
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
His voice is deep and rough like rocks are caught in his throat and everything about it is perfect. Is it real? Did he really just edge me on? Does he know what’s happening? I have to be sleeping.
A trillion worries run through my head, but I push them all away for later. For now, I stay in the moment, listening to his commands as I scrub the machine against my clit faster and faster.
“I need to hear you.” There’s an ache in his voice, a desperation I’ve never heard in my life. If this isn’t real, I don’t want to wake up.
My mouth drops open as every single nerve in my body lights on fire until I cry out in relief, whimpering and moaning as my body convulses. I drop the phone on the bed beside me and hold tight to the wand as I squirm around its strength.
“Good Lord,” he growls under his breath. “That sounded like it felt good.”
My mind goes blank. Nothing is running through it. Nothing at all.
Then everything all at once overwhelms me. What did I do? What have I done? What the hell is happening?
All I can figure is that this is a lesson on how to ruin a relationship. First, fall in love with someone completely inappropriate. Second, obsess over that person for years, even though they probably have no real interest in you. Third, lose your mind and masturbate on the phone with said person, preying on the fact that they too have been lonely far too long. And last, but not to be forgotten, hang up the phone, run into the bathroom, lock the door, and run a cold shower until you turn to dust, and no one remembers your name.