Chapter Five
Sasha
I’ve only ever read about a kiss that stops time, and quite honestly, I thought that idea was bogus. I’ve kissed men before and never ever did reality alter. A few times, it was nice, but that’s where it ended. I didn’t see stars or butterflies. My heart didn’t skip beats, and my body didn’t tingle when his lips met mine.
Now I know I wasn’t kissing the right man.
Ryder’s rough hand lands on my throat as he twists his hat back and lands me against the frame of the door, his lips on mine like our lives depend on it. He’s careful, but strong as he growls into my mouth with something I can only guess is need.
God, I want to serve him. I’ve never wanted to serve anyone more. I want to get on my knees and pleasure him in every way possible. I want him on me, inside of me, surrounding me. I want to be the peace in his long, hard day. The woman waiting to drain his balls the second he gets home.
My clit throbs and my panties soak as his kiss deepens and his hand tightens around my throat. I might come right here, in his arms, against the frame of the door. Then all at once, he pulls away, taking my soul with him.
Our eyes meet and his breath is on my neck, warming the lobe of my ear. “Your lips are like sugar, baby.”
I can’t speak. I can barely move. I’ve waited for this moment so long that it almost doesn’t feel real.
He drags in a deep breath before running his big hand down over my shoulder and into my palm. “We should talk before we do anything we regret.”
I’d never regret any of this, but I agree, we should talk. I nod and step back into the house, closing the cabin door behind us.
I realize now that he has his toolbox and that maybe his visit wasn’t as sexual in nature as I’d thought when I swung open the door and threw myself onto him.
My cheeks heat. Did I just make an idiot out of myself?
Either way, his cock is rock hard sitting on the left side of his jeans, thick and wide. I should really have more couth. I’m a lady, I’m not supposed to be objectifying men. It’s wrong, right? That said, I can’t stop looking at his cock. I can’t stop thinking about what it would feel like spreading me wide. Clearly, judging by the size, it would hurt, but I want it to hurt. I want it to hurt so fucking good.
Ryder sets his toolbox down on the floor by the door and kicks off his boots, hanging his jacket on the hook before stepping into the house.
“Do you want some coffee? There’s a pot made, and I have a few muffins. I can—”
“No.” He steps toward me, landing his hand on my shoulder as we sit on the couch, our gaze never leaving one another. “What you said on the phone, I feel it all too. The kiss we just had, the way you orgasmed on the line, I’ll think about those things forever, but I don’t know if it can go any further, Sasha. I—”
“It’s one time, Ryder. That’s all. We do it and we see if it helps to stop the ache.”
Apparently, I’m a teenage boy in an after-school special now.
“It won’t. Trust me. I’ve had an ache for you since you were… fuck … too fuckin’ young for me to be aching for. I can’t fuck you now and not want you again and again for the rest of my life. Besides that, this feelin’ isn’t only about fuckin’ you. I want to take care of you, Sasha. I want to listen to you change your mind about what you want for dinner eighteen times a day. I want to carry you to bed when you fall asleep on the couch, and I want to hold you forever.” He brushes a hand down over my cheek and leans his elbow against the back of the couch. “Do you remember that summer you came home from college the year after your parents passed?”
I nod. “And you tacked up the biggest horse you have and took me out onto the trail by the river. We had a picnic next to the lake and you let me ramble about everything.” I glance down at my hand resting on his knee. I like it there. “I lost my scholarship that year because I couldn’t stay focused. You helped me see that wasn’t the end. You went through the Gazette with me half a dozen times until we found the job at the library, then you listened to me talk about writing all day and night, and you read every single shitty word I wrote. I fell in love with you so many times that year.”
I watch a lump slide down his throat, and I wonder if I’ve said too much.
He leans into my forehead and kisses me gently. “I love you more, baby, and you’re a great writer. You have no idea how much I want this, but the thought of having you for a second only to lose everything is too fucking much.”
“What if we don’t overthink it?” I climb up onto his lap, straddling his waist as I kiss the tip of his nose, his lips, and the lobe of his ear. “What if you just touch me and I touch you, and we let our bodies explore? We can disappear right here in this cabin, let time stop for us… even if it’s just for tonight.”
He smiles wide and holds his hands at my waist, rubbing up my back and down again. “And we both know that if I do that, I’ll be back seven days a week for more. You’re a keeper kind of girl.”
I drag in a heavy breath and lean my head against his shoulder, breathing in the cedar on his skin.
“Mason wants to get back together with ya. He came home last night for good.”
I lean up and stare toward him. “What? He never mentioned anything about coming back.”
“Would you get back togeth—”
“No!” I shake my head and stare at him, my gaze locked on his. “God no. I love you, Ryder. I want you .”
“I want you so bad, Sasha.” He nods and looks away for a long moment before turning back again, and for the first time since I came earlier, I remember how insanely difficult this must be for Ryder. If any of this gets out, his relationship with his son would be fucked forever.
“I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.” I climb off his lap and begin pacing the room like a lunatic. “I’m sorry. God, you’re here to help me with the windows and I’m climbing all over you like a freaking nympho.”
He unfolds his giant body from the couch and meets me in the center of the cabin. “I do need to fix the windows, but I’m here because I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya. I’m here because, as hard as it is to think I’d only get one night, the idea of havin’ at least one sounds better than never havin’ any at all. I want to be responsible, but my body is cravin’ ya, Sasha.”
My heart flutters, and air enters my lungs in a series of quick successions before I lean into his chest and kiss his lips. The motion is soft at first, then deeper as we take each other's lips in one at a time.
His hands press wildly over my frame, and soon my t-shirt is on the ground, his jeans are unbuckled, and we’re both nude in front of the crackling fireplace like a spell has been cast over us. A spell neither of us are strong enough to break.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” He stands back and looks me over, spinning me in a complete circle before kissing each hard nipple one after the other with a satisfied groan. It’s the small things that keep me in the moment. The noises he makes. The way he touches me. The look in his eyes as he studies my every inch of my body.
I’m not perfect. My hips are far too wide, my stomach hangs, and my tits, though large, don’t stand at attention like I’d like them to.
Ryder doesn’t focus on any of that. He looks at me like he’s drunk on every inch of my body, and I’ve never felt more confident in my life.
When he’s looked me over hard and well, I do my own inspection. Those wide shoulders, his broad chest, the way his muscles flex and ripple down his inked arms, and the patch of hair beneath his collarbone, traveling down his stomach. I follow every line, every scar, every inch of him, until I’m stroking his hot, thick shaft.
He leans forward, resting his head against mine as I touch his length. He’s huge, just as I’d imagined… maybe bigger. Either way, I’m not sure how all of that fits inside of me, but I’m willing to try.
He kisses me again, working his lips over my neck and down the sides of my shoulders, breathlessly grunting as I work his shaft. He’s sticky at the tip, and he smells like cedar and musk… like a man. Like the manliest man. Like the kind of man I want to breathe in for the rest of eternity and never look back.
I should tell him I’m a virgin, that this is all new. In my dreams, I always thought it was a good idea to keep it hidden. But here, in this moment, I know he wouldn’t judge me.
Staring up at him, my hand still on his girth, I open my mouth to speak. I don’t know why I’m nervous. Maybe because it’s embarrassing. How could I be a twenty-five-year-old virgin? Most people have sex in the back seat of some high school car by the time they're seventeen. “I’m… I’ve never done this before.”
His eyes widen and his mouth opens as his hands slide against my cheeks softly. “You’ve never… ever? ”
I shake my head and swallow hard. “Never. I… it didn’t feel right with anyone but you.”
In one soft breath, he lifts me up off the ground and presses me up against the back wall. My legs are wrapped around his waist, my bare pussy soaking his stomach.
“I should want to be more careful with you now,” he growls lowly into my ear, “but for some reason, I want to take you harder and make you my own.” His eyes glaze over, and his tone is ragged as though the careful, wary parts of his soul just fled this reality. “I need you, Sasha. I need to be the only man that’s ever touched you. The only man that’ll ever be inside of you.”
His hand rubs against my clit and two thick fingers slide inside, working in a beckoning motion that sets my nerve endings sparking uncontrollably.
With every thrust of his fingers, he breathes harder against my neck, scraping his teeth against my shoulders as my body shakes. “You’re so tight, baby. My beautiful, sweet girl.”
I want this to last for days. I want him to touch me and touch me until my skin is raw, until we’re both out of energy and we’re heaving for air.
His finger touches a spot that feels life changing, and I shriek, jumping up in his arms.
“Fuck! You like that?” he growls. “Tell me where to touch you.”
“Right there. I like it right there, and a little to the left. Oh… yeah.” I squeeze my legs together locking his fingers in place, but my eye catches a truck pulling up the driveway, and I know right away who it is.
“Mason?”
“What?” Ryder stares at me, a confused look in his eye.
“Mason is here.” I wiggle down from his arms, and suddenly the freedom of our moment comes crashing to a halt.