Chapter 26 Ignacio #2
“Are you going to tell me why you’re holding me like some sleeping princess?” Esmeralda asked, slicing through his memory.
“Oh…I…I was going to bring you someplace safer to rest.”
Her lips flattened. “You sure you weren’t thinking about chucking me off the train?”
“I would never.”
She snorted. “I know. You’re far too good.”
Not good enough for you to love, he wanted to retort. Instead, he asked, “Any news on Camila or Pilar?”
She shook her head. “Pilar hasn’t opened her eyes. Camila is up, though. She hit her head really hard, her wrist is broken, and her legs are pretty banged up. Otherwise, she’s okay, physically. Mentally, not so much.”
The train raced past a blinking lantern. The soft glow illuminated Esmeralda’s beautiful face. This close he could see every soft curve and line.
“You can put me down now,” she said quietly.
“Of course.” He set her gently onto the metal deck, already missing her jasmine scent.
Esmeralda wrapped her arms around her body, and she shuddered.
“Here.” He shrugged off his coat and placed it over her shoulders.
She sniffed. Did she remember his scent too? Did it make her insides burn like hers did to him?
“Camila didn’t want to be in the running for the lead act,” she said. “But she did it because Pilar loved the spotlight. She did it to make her sister happy.”
Perhaps this was selfish given the circumstances, but he thought back to the day he told Dovie he had been enlisted. Despite his desperate need to please his father back then, Ignacio had been willing to run away for her.
“Sometimes people are willing to risk whatever it takes to make their loved ones happy,” he said.
She scowled. “How foolish of them. Love only leads to heartbreak. Look at Camila. At every person you’ve ever known. Every time you open yourself up and trust someone, you’re setting your neck on a guillotine, waiting for the blade to drop.”
“You can’t really believe that.”
“Look at us,” she said. “We were…we…” She turned her face away.
“We were special,” he admitted. And saying so nearly broke him all over again. He hated using the word were. Hated that he couldn’t say are. We are special.
Over the past year, he’d thought of the things he would say to her.
All the accusations and questions he would fling her way.
But, at that moment, he couldn’t say a thing because he felt too raw inside.
Seeing her, being so near to her, recalling the unfathomable depth of their love, it all made her betrayal that much worse.
And yet, he couldn’t say any of the things he had wanted to say to her when she was right here because he was terrified of losing her again.
“And now we can hardly stand to look at each other,” she said.
He smiled through his pain. “I wouldn’t go that far. I’ve caught you eyeballing me quite a few times since I showed up.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. If I was, it was most likely because I was trying to burn holes through you with my intense scrutiny.”
He chuckled. “Keep lying to yourself.”
“You really think you’re handsome, don’t you?”
He didn’t care if he was or wasn’t, so long as she took notice.
He shrugged. “Your eyes don’t lie, Dovie.”
She scoffed. “If anyone has been doing any sort of ogling, it’s you, Pigeon.”
Hearing her call him Pigeon had once peeved him. His nickname for her had been cute. Hers for him had been purposely snarky. But hearing it now was like cool aloe on sun-scorched skin.
He smiled. “The people lining the parade yesterday were definitely looking at me.”
“They were paid actors.”
“They must have been well compensated because I heard the townsfolk had to mop up all the drool afterward. Took them hours.”
“You are conceited in every way,” she said.
“Only in the ways that anger you, which is just about every one.”
She huffed and crossed her arms, closing herself off. Panic set in. He had just had a glimpse of the old Esmeralda. He couldn’t lose her yet.
“Before you dishonored me by calling me a pigeon, you mentioned it was I who ogled you. That might perhaps be true.”
Her brow rose. Esmeralda had always loved a compliment, and he’d always been happy to oblige, especially knowing that she never received them as a child. Also because he truly meant them.
He edged closer to her. “I must admit that you are even prettier than the last time we saw one another. I would never have thought that possible.”
She raised her chin. “Go on.”
“When I saw you today in your wagon wearing that costume, I worried my jawbone would drop onto the floorboards.”
A giggle escaped her. “Is that so?”
“Oh yes. Even when I dreamed of you after we parted last year, I never imagined a prettier picture.”
She turned to him fully, suddenly serious. His stomach dropped. He’d gone too far.
“You dreamed of me?” she asked. Her eyes were so large and open. So full of…hope, perhaps?
He couldn’t help it; he stepped closer to her. “Dovie, I…” Could he tell her the truth? That there hadn’t been a night that went by where she hadn’t come to him in his dreams.
Her brows pinched, and she turned her head. “Do you hear that?”
The sun had begun to rise, casting the sky in the same cotton-candy pinks he’d seen guests nibbling on so joyfully during the carnival. Rooftops of buildings from their next stop were beginning to pop up over the horizon. The train blared its horn three times. Loud cheers rang out in return.
Esmeralda scrambled close to the side of the balcony and peered around the boxcar in front of them.
She rubbed her eyes as if seeing a mirage.
Aching at the thought of her so near to the edge, he moved to join her.
His hands ready to catch her if she fell.
He gaped. Hundreds of people were lining the tracks. They held up signs.
Some offered well wishes for the Sánchez sisters.
Some begged for the ringmaster to marry them.
A few stated they were rooting for Paco the Fire Breather.
But others—now Ignacio rubbed his own eyes.
There were dozens of sketches of him and Esmeralda.
No, of the masked man and Paloma Blanca staring lovingly at each other from within the ostrich cage.
“King’s toes,” she whispered. Her face glowed with a greedy sort of amazement. “They adore me.” She pointed at a sign saying she must become the lead act. “They are rooting for me.”
“Technically, us. I’m on those signs too.”
“Well…sure…but you can tell they are here for me. I mean…Look there. I have a much larger portion on that sketch.” She held her hands against her chest. “They love me.”
“No, Dovie. These people are betting on you. I overheard some guests talking about it before the show.”
“Of course they are. I’m worth the gamble. At least to some people.”
What did that mean? He shook his head before spiraling. “They are betting on people getting hurt. They’re hoping it happens.”
“Good thing that won’t happen to me, then. Because I plan on winning.”
He took her arm so she faced him. “You aren’t still going to go on with the contest after what happened to Camila and Pilar, are you?”
“Why not? They aren’t going to keep me fed or safe.
And, thanks to you, I don’t have enough to pay for passage out of this country once my time is up in the carnival.
I have to be the main act if I intend to survive.
Because now, thanks to you, again, your father knows exactly where I am.
The girls and I are close, but I can’t let their tragedy stop me from living. ”
Ignacio stepped back, stunned. “How could you be so cold? They’re your friends.”
“And you were the boy who swore he loved me. You promised you’d always be there. Until you weren’t. If I’m callous, it’s because every time I offered my heart, the person who promised to keep it safe dropped it to the dirt. When you left—”
“I never left you!” he snapped. “How could you say such a preposterous thing? It was you! You left first!” He knew he should lower his voice, people were watching from the tracks, but he couldn’t help it. She was lying right to his face even when he had been there.
“I left first?!” She laughed haughtily then returned to watching the excited gathering. “You might need to get your memory checked because you are—” Her skin suddenly paled, and her jaw went slack.
A man stood snarling amongst the onlookers holding signs. He wore a bowler hat tugged low to his nose. His jacket hung haggardly over a black-and-white-striped prison uniform.
“The bootlegger,” she whispered.
She winced and gathered her curls, using them to shield her face. But it must have done the opposite of what she was trying to do, because the man yelled, “It’s you! I’d recognize that smug smirk anywhere.”
Though her hair was over her eyes, the bottom half of her face was exposed. Just like when she wore her dove mask.
The man raised his finger and pointed at her, his cheeks reddening.
“You scammed me!” he shouted. “You told me I’d find fortune! But now I’m on the lam because of you!” He shoved his way through the crowd and started chasing after the train.
Esmeralda’s entire body went rigid with fear. Ignacio couldn’t stand the sight. He shoved his sleeves up, readying for a fight, but then he remembered what had happened to Anella when she’d lost the crowd’s approval during the parade.
The people holding up their signs and rooting for La Paloma Blanca might start to think she was a fraud. He had to turn this around. Perhaps laughter would work. “Let me tell you a new fortune, buddy! One step closer and prison will be the least of your worries!” he shouted, flexing his biceps.
The man let out a string of curses.
Ignacio clucked his tongue. “Do you pray to the gods with that foul mouth? Perhaps that is why you’ve had such pitiful luck!”
People began to chuckle. Which made Ignacio feel strangely elated.
He went on, “Or maybe it’s because you’re a terrible crook!”
The crowd whooped with laughter.
Finally, Esmeralda regained her composure. Her shoulder brushed against Ignacio’s arm as she moved beside him. “I’m seeing your new future now! The spirits tell me you will catch the fiery fever if you don’t get lost!”
Ignacio gaped as dramatically as he could. “He’s turning red already!” he hollered.
The bootlegger halted. His hands went to his crimson cheeks. Cackling, someone swatted his back and told him to beat it before he got the rest of them sick, or worse, gave them bad luck. More onlookers began to berate him until the man had no choice but to flee.
Esmeralda met Ignacio’s eyes, and they both fell into a fit of laughter. Her hand rested on his bicep. His insides went warm. Then turned molten as her giggles calmed and her gaze roamed over his face.
“You were brilliant,” she said softly.
The world beyond them blurred. He no longer heard the crowds cheering their names or the train wheels bumping on the tracks. There was only Dovie. There was only ever Dovie. He took a step closer to her. She didn’t move. He stepped closer again. Her lips parted.
A whistle blared, snapping him from his trance. It must have done the same to her because she inhaled sharply.
“We’ve reached our next stop.”
She swept back and offered a shy smile before jumping to the boxcar theirs was attached to.
“Where are you going?” he yelled.
“To get ready for the next challenge.”
He shook his head. “You can’t seriously still want to do this.”
She pulled the boxcar door open. “The show must go on.”
Still wearing his only coat, Esmeralda scurried away.