Chapter 28 Ignacio #2
“I’m not.” He peered over his shoulder at the doorway.
The line of performers waiting to enter the Big Top had cleared, but still, he didn’t want to say this for anyone else to hear.
He edged closer to Esmeralda and watched with curious fascination as her breathing quickened.
As her pupils grew wide. If he didn’t know better, he might have let himself believe she was hungry for his presence.
Warmth spread through his insides as she tilted her head up to him. He loved that he towered over her. That from this angle, he could see every part of her so clearly. His knuckles ached to brush against the soft curvature of her jawbone.
This isn’t what you’re here for.
He cleared his throat. “There is something terribly off about this place. The ink—”
Her shoulders slumped. “Not the ink again.”
“But there’s some sort of property inside it. I saw it when Anella—”
“Was that before or after she kissed you?”
“Does that matter?” Did it? Did she care about the kiss? No. That wasn’t important right now. “I saw it again right before the Sánchezes’ accident. That same glinting material was in their cuffs.”
Horns blared from within the Big Top. The guests roared with thunderous applause.
“Can we talk about this later?” she asked.
“But I saw something before the sisters’ accident. A…a face within the mirror. It looked evil.”
“Perhaps I hit you in the head with that golden egg a bit too hard.”
“You know me, Dovie. I’m not the type to come up with fanciful tales. That was always your thing.”
And he had loved her for it. He adored the stories she would weave into the night sky.
Had he a better imagination, he might have pictured her tales come to life within the stars.
But his brain did not work that way. His mother’s had, but Ignacio’s mind worked in facts, and rules, and kept all the information stored in their proper places.
“I know what I saw,” he said. “There is something inside the mirrors.”
“Then being out in front of them is the perfect place to be. Think of it. How else will you get a better view but from center stage?”
“It isn’t the vantage point that concerns me. It’s you.”
Her lips parted in surprise.
Elephants blared their trunks. Explosions went off, the beams holding the tent up rattling from the repercussions. He stepped even closer, close enough that only the garment bag lay between them, so she could hear him clearly.
“I have a terrible feeling about this place,” he said. “I know it sounds outrageous, but that thing in the mirror smiled just before Camila’s wrist snapped.”
“Come on, Ignacio. Scary stories have never deterred me. Your little tale isn’t going to work. Especially not when my own reality is far scarier.” The music quickened within the Big Top. The drums grew faster. Greedier. She chewed on her lip. “Time’s up. What do you say?”
“I won’t go.”
She huffed. “Of course not. Wouldn’t be the first time you failed to come through for me.”
Her words slammed into his chest. He had failed her. She just admitted it. She thought he’d failed her before. That must have been why she left him. But what had he done?
Had it been the last night they spent together a year ago?
Was he terrible? It had been his first time having sex, hers too, but he’d been so nervous, he fumbled his way through.
Or was it the day after? When he learned he’d been enlisted into the Blackbirds.
She begged him to run away with her instead.
He’d hesitated. Who wouldn’t have? She asked him to turn his back on everything he’d ever known.
She started to storm away, but he threw his hand out and snatched her arm. “Wait.”
“I can’t. Not anymore. I have to go on.”
“Why is the Running so important to you? Why do you insist on performing when you know it’s dangerous? Your friend is having surgery on her ruptured spleen as we speak.”
“It’s this or death,” she snapped. “Because I won’t go back to a cold cell.”
He flinched. “When were you in a cell?”
Esmeralda gaped. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?”
She glared at the wall. “I was caught fleeing the city by your father’s officers just after you left for the Blackbirds. I spent two months in the dark trying to claw my way out of prison like a fool.”
The world spun in on him. His father had thrown her in jail and left her there alone. To rot.
Commotion sounded outside the room. Performers were already starting to funnel backstage from the march of showstoppers.
Esmeralda gnawed on her bottom lip so hard, he worried she might start to bleed.
Before he could stop himself, he brushed his thumb over her lip to stop her nervous nibbling.
She inhaled sharply, and a sun flare burst in his stomach.
She stepped away. “Staying on with the carnival is my only hope of being free. You know your father won’t let me get away again.
Especially not after I turned my nose up at General Keara’s offer.
And I won’t be able to earn enough to purchase passage out of the country in the two months I have left. ”
It all made sense now. Why she would be so desperate to stay here. It wasn’t because she was terrified of what Father might do. It was because she had already faced him and come out scarred.
Another awful thought came to his mind. “You won’t have two months if you don’t win,” he said.
She frowned, confused.
“I was there when Anella was eliminated,” he explained. “The ringmaster told her she had to leave that day. He said he couldn’t let someone he found unworthy continue on at the carnival.”
“ángel mentioned he cut the Sánchezes, but he didn’t say anything about them having to leave right away.” Her tone gave the impression she didn’t believe Ignacio.
“What about the previous Runnings?” he asked. “What happened to the eliminated performers?”
“I don’t know. Melanie was already the lead act when I got here.” Her jaw dropped. “But, now that I think of it, no one spoke of competing against her.”
“Because those people were most likely kicked out. The termination letter from ángel was coldhearted. I wouldn’t put it past him to send your friends packing as soon as Pilar is out of surgery.”
“So, if I fail tonight, I might be asked to leave?” She gnawed on her lip again.
The thought of Father or Keara catching her drew the very worst sort of picture in his mind. And there wouldn’t be anything he could do to help her. She had to keep performing. But what about that thing in the mirror? He couldn’t let her face it alone.
“I’ll help you,” he said.
She sighed with relief. And then, she did the very worst thing he could imagine. She threw her arms around him, the garment bag crunching between them as she squeezed him with all her strength.
Ignacio’s entire body went taut.
“Thank you,” she whispered into his neck.
He clamped his eyes shut.
She felt so good against him. She felt like his childhood. Like home. Like all his wildest dreams and desires trapped within the softness of her skin.
Life was so cruel, he knew that he couldn’t spend most of his moments like this. He’d never be able to simply hold her and love her and be loved by her in return.
She released him and stepped back, a warm grin brightening her beautiful face.
“Now,” she said. “Take off your clothes.”