10. Miller & Scout
Miller: Did you know it’s a really bad idea to eat four hot dogs, a hamburger, and a milkshake before skating?
Miller: I didn’t do that. Some rookie on the other team did and barfed all over the ice. Totally disgusting.
Scout: Who is this?
Miller: What do you mean?
Miller: It’s Miller.
Scout: Who?
Miller: M-I-L-L-E-R
Miller: As in…IT’S MILLER TIME, BABY!
Scout: You know, I was going to keep this going longer, but you just ruined everything with that horrible pun, and I’m considering blocking you.
Miller: Nah. You wouldn’t.
Scout: And why not?
Miller: Because I’m a really good kisser?
Scout: Are you asking me that or telling me?
Miller: Telling.
Miller: Or maybe asking.
Miller: You know, I’m really not sure, mostly because now I’m curious what you thought of our kiss.
Miller: So…what’d you think of our kiss?
Scout: There really is no beating around the bush with you, is there?
Miller: About 98% of the time, no.
Scout: And the other 2%?
Miller: I’m not ready for the other 2% just yet.
Scout: That’s fair.
Scout: Did someone get sick during the game?
Miller: Warmups.
Miller: I kind of felt bad for the guy. I’ve been the young, dumb rookie before. It’s rough sometimes.
Scout: You say that like you’re not still young and dumb.
Miller: Hey, I’m 24, thank you very much.
Miller: Still dumb, though.
Scout: You’re 24?!
Miller: Yup.
Miller: Wait—how old are you?
Miller: Actually, no. Never mind. I know you’re not supposed to ask women that.
Scout: Such a stupid rule.
Scout: I’m 28.
Miller: Oh, I’ve snagged an older lady. Nice.
Scout: Snagged?
Scout: OLDER LADY?
Scout: Keep it up. At this rate, you’re going to be the one in the grave first, not me.
Miller: I’m assuming you’re going to be the death of me?
Scout: Yes.
Scout: Here lies Grady Miller. He died because he talked too much shit.
Miller: That honestly checks out, though.
Scout: Have you always been this way?
Miller: Yes. My parents didn’t love me enough as a child.
Miller: Sadly, that last part isn’t a lie. They really didn’t.
Miller: Womp, womp.
Scout: Okay, that’s just depressing.
Miller: Sorry.
Scout: I’M sorry.
Miller: Eh, don’t be. It is what it is.
Scout: That’s a very sad way of looking at it.
Miller: It’s practical.
Scout: Since when are you ever practical?
Miller: That’s fair.
Miller: I gotta go, but I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.
Scout: Miller, you literally texted me about someone vomiting, so I’m not sure that’s the compliment you think it is.
Miller: If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about you before the vomit.
Scout: Gee, thanks.
Scout: For what it’s worth, I was thinking about you too…and our kiss.
Scout: A-
Miller: I’ve always been told I’m an overachiever, so now I guess I have something to work toward.
Scout: ??
Miller: An A+
Scout: I’m stingy with pluses.
Miller: I bet I’m worth making an exception for.
Scout: We’ll see about that.
* * *
Miller: What about Thursday?
Scout: It’s a very disappointing day of the week, mostly because it’s not Friday.
Scout: Though to be fair, I don’t really get weekends off, so Fridays kind of suck too.
Scout: I’m sure you know all about that, though.
Miller: I do, but I meant what about Thursday for our date?
Miller: Unless you’d like to choose a less disappointing day of the week.
Scout: Honestly, they all suck in some way. Except for Saturday. Saturdays are wine-in-the-tub nights.
Scout: But Thursday is fine.
Miller: Wine in the tub?
Scout: Yep. I light candles, crank the Taylor Swift, drink the fanciest of wines, and relax.
Miller: That sounds…nice.
Scout: Even the Taylor Swift?
Miller: Are you kidding me? Especially the Taylor Swift.
Scout: Oh, so you’re a fan?
Miller: All I’m saying is there is no way in hell Jake doesn’t still have that scarf.
Scout: Right? He totally kept it!
Scout: Good luck at your game tonight.
Miller: Are you watching?
Scout: If being in the same living room as Macie as she screams at the TV for you to shoot counts as watching, then yes.
Miller: It’s preseason! I’m saving all my good shots for when it counts.
Scout: Try telling Coach Macie that.
Miller: She’s going to be one tough cookie.
Scout: Going to be? She already is.
Scout: How about some motivation? If you win, I’ll let you buy dinner, and if you lose, I’ll let you buy dinner.
Miller: So, I’m buying dinner either way?
Scout: Of course you are. It’s a date.
Miller: That’s not very feminist of you.
Scout: No, it’s not. But I’m also not a super-rich hockey player.
Miller: I wouldn’t say super rich. That’d be Lowell.
Scout: You make more a year than I’ll ever make in a lifetime.
Miller: Did you Google me?
Scout: Of course I did. I like to know whom I’m dating.
Miller: That’s fair.
Miller: I’m going to Google you later, just so we’re even.
Scout: That sounds mildly sexual.
Miller: It does, doesn’t it?
Scout: Totally.
Miller: I gotta go. Coach Smith is yelling at me.
Miller: See you Thursday.
Miller: And, Scout? I’m really looking forward to working on my grade.