Epilogue 1 #2
His eyes did not leave hers. "I know now that I was wrong.
I do not mean that I was wrong to work or to want to be worthy of you, for I would have done both in any case.
But I was wrong to think I must become a different man, or present you with a finished life, before I might ask whether you would build one with me.
My practice is new. My rooms are rented.
There will be long days, and no doubt many difficulties I cannot yet foresee.
But there is no uncertainty in what I feel for you, nor in what I want. "
His voice softened then, though it did not falter.
"You have been the truest friend of my life from the moment we met, and you are still the person whose thoughts I most wish to hear, whose good opinion I most value and whose happiness I most dearly want to secure.
I do not ask for a wife who will simply fit herself into whatever life I provide.
I ask for you, exactly as you are, with your courage, your wit and your remarkable habit of disagreeing with me whenever I most deserve it. Caroline Bingley, will you marry me?"
By the time he finished, the tears were running freely down her face, though she was laughing a little too. "Yes," she said at once, her voice breaking around the word. "Yes, Thomas. Of course I will marry you."
Relief and joy transformed his face so quickly that it undid her all over again.
He rose at once and caught her around the waist, lifting her from the ground with such ease that another laugh escaped her as he turned her once in a circle.
When he set her down, his hands came up to cradle her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that still clung to her cheeks, and then he kissed her.
Their first kiss, all those years ago, had been tender and wondering, as if neither of them could quite believe such happiness had fallen within reach.
This kiss held all the tenderness still, but now it was deepened by certainty, by the knowledge of what they had endured and what they had chosen.
Caroline clutched at his coat and kissed him back with all the joy in her heart, the cold and the wind and the brilliant winter morning vanishing entirely for those few suspended moments.
When at last they drew apart, Thomas rested his forehead against hers and let out a breath that was almost a laugh. "You said yes."
"I did."
"I am very glad to have it confirmed. I was not nearly so calm as I meant to appear."
"You were not calm at all. I thought you had taken ill!"
"I was trying very hard not to disgrace myself by dropping the ring into the sand."
That made her laugh again, and she held out her left hand.
Thomas removed her glove with great care, then slid the ring onto her finger.
Caroline looked down at it and felt her throat tighten once more.
The polished glass gleamed softly at the centre, while the smaller pieces around it caught the sun in pale flashes of green and white.
It was strange and beautiful and wholly their own.
"It is perfect," she whispered. She was still looking at the ring when she said, "There is something I must tell you as well."
Thomas drew back just enough to study her face. "That sounds ominous."
She smiled despite herself. "I have only delayed telling you because I wished to be certain of the outcome before I said anything."
His expression shifted at once. "Caroline."
"Do not look at me like that. I have not joined the travelling circus or sold my jewels to a mountebank.
I have merely made what I consider a very sensible arrangement.
" She took a breath and pressed her hand lightly against his sleeve.
"The owner of the building where you keep your practice wished to sell. "
Thomas stared at her. "How do you know that?"
"Because I made enquiries."
"I wished to know whether the lease was secure."
"Caroline."
"The lease was not nearly so secure as it ought to have been, and after a little discussion with Mr Hurst’s solicitor, it became apparent that the owner might be persuaded to part with it on tolerably favourable terms."
Thomas went very still. "What exactly have you done?"
Caroline lifted her chin, though she felt suddenly overwhelmed beneath the force of his astonishment. "I bought it."
For several seconds, the only sound between them was the breaking of the waves. Then Thomas said, very carefully, "You bought the building."
"I did." She took a step back from him and held up her hands as if he might reject the gift outright.
"Now, my dearest, dearest love, before you become gravely offended and gentlemanly, I should explain that I have not bought your profession, nor inserted myself into your work.
Your practice remains entirely your own.
I have merely purchased the property in which it is situated. It seemed a prudent investment."
"A prudent investment," he repeated faintly.
"Yes. The rooms below are excellent for the practice, as we both know, and the apartments above are much larger than one would suppose from the street.
There is a pleasant drawing room at the front, a dining parlour of very good proportions and bedchambers enough that we may live comfortably.
The kitchens are not what I would wish, and the paper in the back bedchamber is an offence to the eye, but both defects can be remedied. "
He was still staring at her, though some new expression had begun to steal across his face, something between wonder and disbelief.
"Caroline." There was so much in the way he said her name that she went to him and caught both his hands in hers before he could continue.
"I do not need you to come to me with every part of our future already completed," she went on.
"I do not want some perfect, finished life laid at my feet.
I want us to make it together. There are apartments above your practice, and if you still wish it, we might turn them into a home.
A real home, Thomas. One with light and warmth and comfort, where your patients may come downstairs to consult the physician and you may come upstairs at the end of the day to your wife. "
By the time she finished, her voice had grown softer, though no less certain. "That is what I want. Not luxury for its own sake and not grandeur for appearances. Only a life with you."
For a long moment he said nothing. Then, very slowly, he lifted her hands and pressed his lips first to one, then the other, lingering over the ring upon her finger.
"My love," he said, and his own voice was no steadier than hers had been, "I spent years believing I must return to you with a life already built, never thinking that to truly create a future we must build our life together,"
A tear slipped down Caroline’s cheek. She let out a soft, watery laugh. "Then you are not angry?"
"Angry?" He looked at her as though the notion were absurd. "A little dazed, perhaps. Humbled beyond expression, certainly. Terrified by the knowledge that I should never underestimate you again. But angry? No."
His hand came up to her face then, warm against the cold of her skin. "I think," he said, "that I am the luckiest man in England."
Caroline leaned into his touch. "Then we are both fortunate, because I know I am the luckiest woman in it."
He kissed her again after that, more slowly this time. When they drew apart, they stood for a little while with their hands clasped between them, the ring shining on Caroline’s finger and the future, for the first time in either of their lives, no longer something distant or uncertain.