Chapter 7
A few months later
Simone walked down an aisle of Mattigan’s Bookshop, examining the titles and looking for something new to read to fill her time.
She’d likely need it, as it seemed her relationship with the Marquess of Harding was coming to a slow, inevitable end.
She didn’t particularly feel anything about that fact.
The arrangement had been pleasant enough and she was certain he’d settle her well and add to her significant coffers.
A courtesan didn’t linger on these things.
As if to prove her wrong, at that very moment Caroline Banfield came around the end of the bookshelf.
Simone had last seen her that charged night at the opera and she wished she could say she hadn’t thought of Caroline almost every day since.
She wished she didn’t think of Caroline when Harding was fumbling over her and she wanted to come.
She wished her breath didn’t catch right now as she watched Caroline lift on her tiptoes to see a book on a shelf just above her eye-line. It was ridiculous for one’s heart to leap like one was a heroine in one of those romantic books.
Simone knew what she should do next was turn on her heel and slip away before she was seen.
She had been the one to push Caroline away, after all.
But that wasn’t what her body decided to do.
She moved toward her, not away from her and with every step her hands began to tremble in a way that was more suited to innocent virgins.
She shoved those hands behind her back and said, “Caroline?”
Caroline tore her gaze from the shelf she had been so absorbed in examining and her eyes moved to Simone. At first her breath caught and pink entered her cheeks. But then her expression softened. “Simone.”
“I-I didn’t mean to surprise you,” Simone said.
Caroline tilted her head. “If you don’t think I wasn’t already more than aware of your being here…” She trailed off and Simone was far too shocked to press that revelation. Caroline swallowed and said, “How are you? It’s been a while. Since…”
Simone nodded. “Yes. Since the opera. Since before Silas and Arabella married.”
They both smiled about that news. Of course, Simone had been told by Arabella that her aunt supported the match, but she was glad to see it.
Once again Caroline proved herself far more than many ladies of her station, who might reject a bastard son whose reputation was one of wild excess.
Most wouldn’t see past that shell to the warm and loyal heart beneath.
But of course Caroline would. She was built so differently than anyone Simone had ever known.
“They’re very happy,” Caroline said, cutting through Simone’s internal musings. “They’ve hosted you a few times, I think.”
Simone drew back a fraction that Caroline would be aware of that. “They did. And I them. They seem to be the perfect match.”
“I agree.” Caroline let out a shaky sigh. “Now I only wish I could see Julia and especially Evelina so happy and settled.”
Simone’s happy thoughts faded. “How is Evie? It’s been a while since I saw her.”
“She was betrayed by a person she believed cared for her.” Caroline shook her head. “She isn’t well.”
Anger snapped through Simone. Evie had been long matched with a protector who had promised her far more than a man of his station normally gave.
He had then publicly and cruelly broken with her, stealing the wife of his best friend and now declaring her the love of his life in the process.
There were divorce proceedings brewing and far too many whispers.
“That man has exhibited nothing but absolutely wretched behavior,” Simone said, clenching her hands at her sides. “He deserves to be publicly shunned. Flogged in the street.”
“I tend to agree, but we both know that isn’t the way of the world when it comes to men of power and influence.
They can get away with far more than we can.
He’ll feel the sting of rejection for a while, but he’ll very likely be able to overcome a great deal of consequences with money and time. ” Caroline sighed heavily.
Simone could see how much her niece’s pain affected Caroline and she so wanted to take her hand. To lift it to her lips and tuck it between her palms and whisper, “I’m here.”
Instead she took the slightest step back and clutched her hands behind her back again so she wouldn’t give in to that wildly inappropriate desire.
Caroline’s gaze flickered over her when she stepped away, but then lingered, holding her own for what felt like a lifetime. She smiled again. “I’m glad I saw you today. I do miss…I miss our interactions.”
Warmth filled Simone at that admission. She ought to fight it, to make herself icy in response and hold to her assertion that they couldn’t come too close to each other.
And yet standing with this woman in the soft quiet of the bookshop, she couldn’t force herself to protect them both.
She could only cling to her honest response.
“Yes,” she murmured. “So do I.”
Caroline’s amber eyes lit up, like those words had given her life. She moved into the space Simone had abandoned and suddenly they were too close again.
“Couldn’t we go back to the way things were?” she asked. “And simply forget…forget the other things that happened?”
Simone flinched. What had she been trying to do for the last ninety-four days, nine hours and some collection of endless minutes and seconds? It never worked.
“I can’t forget it,” she admitted, and hated herself for not being able to find the cool and collected mask she had worn with every lover she’d taken to her bed since she was seventeen years old. Two kisses with this woman and she stripped it away too easily.
“Oh.” Caroline leaned a little, almost as if to kiss her yet again, but she stopped herself and straightened up.
“But if I saw you out in the world, like we did today, I wouldn’t ignore you. I…couldn’t, I suppose is the better description.” She sighed. It seemed this woman would strip away all her protective barriers in the end.
“And if you were attending the next salon at Lady Lena’s two Tuesdays from now, perhaps we might see each other and—”
“Talk?” Simone suggested.
“I was going to say sit together,” Caroline whispered, her gaze moving briefly but pointedly to Simone’s lips. It seemed she hadn’t been alone in thinking about that kiss over and over. But sharing a madness didn’t make it any easier.
“Sit together,” she repeated. “Bold, Caroline.”
“Well, I seem to be learning from the very best,” Caroline said with a husky chuckle that felt like electric current down Simone’s spine.
She cleared her throat and managed to find the seductive, disconnected purr that had served her well for nearly twenty years. “If the seat next to you was open, I would take it.”
“It will be,” Caroline promised.
There was the jingle of the bell behind the bookshelves and voices called out to Mr. Mattigan at his raised desk. The spell was broken and Caroline stepped away, as did Simone.
“Goodbye,” Simone said.
Caroline said the same and didn’t stop her when she walked away. Simone found herself struggling to get air as she clutched her books to her chest and went to ask Mr. Mattigan to add them to her tab.
Agreeing to meet with and sit with Caroline was a capital-level mistake. And she was going to do it anyway, no matter how many rules of engagement or sense it broke.
Ten days later
Lady Lena’s salon was usually a place of unfiltered pleasure for Caroline, but tonight she was nervous. She’d seated herself far too early in anticipation and couldn’t help but keep looking back at the door to the parlor. Simone hadn’t outright said she’d be there, but she’d implied it.
Hadn’t she? Sometimes Caroline felt like that exchange and all the heated tension that had hung in the air between them had been nothing more than a dream.
“Is this seat taken, my lady?” a gentleman asked.
She jerked her attention to him and couldn’t control her scowl. “Yes!” she gasped out, and put her gloves on the seat.
She must have looked terribly fierce about it because he looked more than flustered as he moved away from her. Heat filled her cheeks and regrets at the scene tugged at her heart, but they were forgotten the moment Simone stepped into the room.
She looked beautiful, because then she always looked beautiful.
Tonight she wore a silk gown with green and gray stripes along the very elegant flow of the skirt.
It was low-cut like all her gowns were, but there was pretty black lace arranged to partially cover her chest. She gave a long look to the room and most of the men looked back. And then she saw Caroline.
There was an unguarded moment where she looked…thrilled to see her. Truly happy, and Caroline’s heart thudded out of control in her chest because she so longed for this woman’s attention.
There was no denying it anymore. She wanted to be near Simone.
She wanted to share time and space and…and air with her in the most powerful and interesting and, yes, sensual ways.
That truth was like a thunderbolt and she hoped Simone couldn’t see it as she made her way across the room and pretended to be astonished to see her.
“Why, Mrs. Banfield, what a happy surprise.”
“Indeed, Miss Stanhope,” Caroline managed to choke out and play along with the game. “I feel like it’s been an age. Will you join me? It looks to be a fine presentation.”
“How very kind.” Simone slipped into the seat beside her and there was the briefest of moments when her fingers brushed Caroline’s. Was it on purpose? Why did it make her feel so alive? “You look very pretty,” Simone said. “That gown is lovely. I’m beginning to think pink is your favorite color.”
Caroline blinked and looked down at herself. “Oh…but this gown has so much blue and white.”
“Except for that pretty pink floral along the edge,” Simone said. “And the ribbon wound through your hair. And the gem on your ring.”