Chapter 15
The only thing that could keep Caroline from thinking about Simone constantly was to pick up the family duties she had left undone since her return to London.
That was how she found herself in Julia’s parlor the next afternoon, ready to share tea with her niece and hopefully not reveal how broken her heart was at present.
She was standing at the mantel when Julia entered. “Aunt Caroline!”
“Dearest.” Caroline crossed the room and enveloped her in a hug. She’d expected her niece to look drawn and forlorn but that wasn’t the case. In fact, she was glowing. “You look very well.”
Julia chuckled as she moved to pour tea for them. “You sound surprised by that.”
“It’s been a very difficult time since we returned to London and I’ve perhaps been remiss in checking on you as often as I should.”
Julia brought the cup she’d prepared back to her aunt and motioned her to sit.
As they did so, the little cat Julia had adopted in the countryside came in.
Caroline couldn’t help but sweep the kitten up and cuddle.
Simone liked cats. She’d told Caroline that during one of the lovely times they’d been lying together in the warmth of their bed, sharing conversation that wasn’t so deep or dire.
Julia was talking again and Caroline tried to focus.
“Aunt Caroline, you’re never anything but wonderful.
If you hadn’t been with me when all this happened, it would have been much worse.
And it’s nothing new. The three of us are all aware that most women in your station would have walked away from us when we turned to the lives of courtesans. Society must have expected it.”
Caroline blinked because tears had entered her eyes and not just at the idea that she would be expected to walk away from her nieces.
It was what Simone expected, as well. She had pushed Caroline away for exactly that fact.
“Society expects a great deal. But I never could have walked away from my…from any of my girls.”
“You never have. So don’t trouble yourself. You say I look well and I suppose I…am. In truth, I’m relieved the engagement was ended, though I wouldn’t have chosen how that came about.”
Caroline sighed. “He wasn’t a good man and certainly wasn’t a good fit.”
“No.” Now Julia’s face flickered a little, as if troubling thoughts had entered her mind.
Caroline covered her hand. “And perhaps down the road you’ll find your real, true love, as your sisters have. And then you’ll be even more grateful that you didn’t settle.”
“It’s funny, I was thinking about that before I came in,” Julia admitted.
“That I used to be the romantic of the three of us sisters. Dreaming of true love and being rescued by some prince. Even when I became a courtesan, I had these hopes that some protector would see me for who I truly was and sweep me away, Society be damned.”
“It turns out not to be such a wild fantasy.” After all, she certainly saw Simone for who she was. But Caroline couldn’t say that. Instead she said, “Look at Arabella and Evie.”
“Yes.” Julia sighed. “What they’ve both found is magical. But somehow seeing them so settled, it makes me feel further from my dream, not closer.”
It was odd to have her own thoughts reflected so directly by her much younger niece. But Julia had named exactly what she’d often felt herself in the last year where everything had changed so much.
“That makes sense in a way, love. After all, a girlish fantasy was likely dreamy and ill-defined. But seeing love, true love, the way we both do now with your sisters and their husbands? That’s real.
As is what the two couples fought through to come through with their love intact. Of course it feels a little more…more…”
“Out of reach,” Julia said. “Your marriage wasn’t a happy one. But did you ever dream of something more like that? Do you ever seek out someone to fill your life and your heart?”
The question was like a dagger to Caroline’s heart. She thought of Simone in her arms. She thought of Simone trying so desperately to push her away. “I’m…I’m not sure that what I want is even possible. Or that I’m brave enough to fully try for it.”
“I think you’re very brave. I know you are,” Julia said.
Caroline stared into her teacup. She could be braver.
She had to be, didn’t she? Because she wanted what she had with Simone and she didn’t just want it as a lark or a game or a few nights of pleasure.
But Simone wouldn’t be the one who took that leap unless Caroline did it first. “Is there something I can do, auntie?”
“Only don’t give up on the idea that you might be happy,” Caroline said.
“You girls went through so much, all of you, because of my wretched brother and the horrible way you were treated before his death. Don’t give up on happiness in your future.
And don’t forget that I will support you, come hell or high water, no matter what you do or don’t do. ”
“I know that.” Julia wrapped an arm around her and squeezed. “And I feel the same way.”
There was a light knock at the half-open parlor door that interrupted further conversation. Julia looked toward Parsons as he entered. “I’m sorry, Miss Comerford, Mrs. Banfield. There was just a message delivered, miss. The boy declared it to be of great importance.”
“Thank you, Parsons.”
After the servant gone, Julia gave her a quick glance. “I suppose I must open it, since it’s important,” Julia said. “Oh, I wonder if it’s from Gray Danvers. I’m investing with him, thanks to Alexander Castleton.”
Caroline caught her breath in surprise. The handsome cousin of Julia’s former intended had clearly been a point of focus for her niece during the country party.
He seemed a good enough man, despite his affiliation to the viscount.
But the way Julia said his name now set off warning alarms in Caroline’s head.
“Alexander Castleton? You’re still in contact with him? ”
Julia blushed. “Y-Yes. I…I am. He’s…he’s apologized for whatever role he played in his cousin’s betrayal. I think he means it.”
“I would wager he does. He seemed very angry at Lord Castleton that morning out at the Grange. Defensive of you, even. And it seemed you struck up a genuine friendship during your time there. One I commented on more than once.”
Julia pursed her lips. “Do you have something to say?”
“Not at all,” Caroline said as she raised her hands in surrender. “Is the letter from Mr. Danvers?”
Julia put her attention back on the missive and began to read it. All the color left her face and her hands began to shake.
Caroline’s heart leapt as she stepped forward. “What is it?”
“It’s not from Mr. Danvers,” Julia whispered. “It’s from the Earl of Heathfield, Lord Castleton’s grandfather.”
“What does he say?”
She folded the letter. “It’s nothing. Just nastiness. You needn’t worry yourself.”
“Julia Elinor Comerford. I shall worry myself. What does it say?”
Julia swallowed and reopened the letter, reading it out loud.
“Miss Comerford, please do not delude yourself that you will get away with your poor behavior. Your involvement with my grandson was bad enough and happily ended. If you know what’s best for you, you’ll disappear so that your existence will no longer be a bane on your family.
If you don’t, you may find yourself sorry about it. ”
Caroline snatched the letter and read it herself, despising the man who had written it and terrified for Julia. “That’s horrible! You were the victim of his grandson’s machinations and yet he threatens you?”
“Laurence must be returning to London soon if the earl is launching this attack,” Julia whispered.
“Perhaps he’ll already be married to his new, much more acceptable bride.
The one he used me to obtain against his grandfather’s wishes.
Of course they must try to obliterate me.
His former engagement to me will be a blight on his new union. ”
Caroline grasped her arm. “We must tell your sisters and their husbands about this. To close ranks to protect you.”
“I don’t disagree, auntie. But—but let me wait.”
“Wait!” Caroline shook her head at the idea. “Whatever for?”
“Evie is so close to giving birth, I don’t want to upset her and perhaps cause damage. And you know what Arabella is like. She’ll go into full protection mode and work herself into an entirely unmanageable froth. Let me handle it myself for the moment.”
Caroline pursed her lips. “I don’t like that, Julia.”
“Please trust me,” Julia said.
“I do trust you,” Caroline said. “I don’t trust a man like the Earl of Heathfield. He’s a nasty man, he always has been.”
“I think that’s obvious.” Julia held up the letter and then sighed. “I promise you, I will tell them. Let me just see if I can get further information about this before I do.”
Caroline wasn’t certain, but she nodded. “I trust you to make the right decisions for yourself.”
“Now, let’s talk about something else,” Julia said, putting the letter aside as she took Caroline’s teacup and went to refresh it.
Caroline agreed and so they did that, but she still felt a heavy uneasiness in her chest. One she feared wouldn’t be resolved until this situation had been.
And perhaps she could help move that resolution along with Simone’s help.
Only for the sake of her niece, of course.
At least that was what she’d tell herself when she went home to write her own letter.
Simone had nearly refused the invitation that had arrived from Caroline bright and early that morning.
She’d known it had arrived early because she hadn’t been sleeping the last few days.
She tried, but she’d end up staring at Caroline’s empty pillow for hours.
No amount of reminding herself that the pillow and the place in the bed didn’t belong to anyone, least of all Caroline Banfield, helped her.
I have something of great importance to speak to you about. It’s about Julia. Will you come to my home this afternoon? Caroline.