Chapter 24 Janie
JANIE
“They’re here!” Maya shrieked. She had been circling the dining table at a dizzying pace since we finished breakfast. Now she completed her last circle and made a beeline for the front door. “They’re here!”
Jack was right there behind her when she reached for the doorknob.
He never let Maya open the door without him, a sweetly protective gesture that always made me smile.
There was no doubt in my mind that Maya was safe with him.
After the birthday party yesterday, I couldn’t deny that Sam’s dad had a point.
Jack was lethal—and, okay, maybe a little psycho.
But there was nowhere safer for Maya than standing right next to him.
“Hi!” Maya shouted in Claire and Nisha’s amused faces.
“Hello, my love.” Claire squatted to Maya’s level. “Is today a hugging day?”
“Yes,” Maya said.
“Wonderful.” Claire didn’t miss a beat, but her gaze shot to mine over Maya’s head as she wrapped her in a brief, tight squeeze. Meltdown, I mouthed, and she nodded. She straightened and Nisha claimed a hug of her own.
“All packed?” Nisha asked.
“Since Wednesday,” Jack said drily. “Maya is super excited.”
Claire looked at Jack, her expression openly curious. “You must be the manny.”
“Jack Price.” He extended his hand for a shake. “We met briefly at your parents’ garden party back in May. My mom was catering the event.”
“He’s my manny and a Navy SEAL,” Maya piped up. “Mom calls him soldier even though he’s not a soldier. I think Mom shouldn’t tease him, but Jack says he likes it when Mom is a little mean.”
My chest felt hot. “Jesus, kid. Way to sell me out,” I muttered.
Claire and Nisha turned to me with identical fascinated expressions.
“Is that so?” Claire said. “A special forces operator who happened to be at the garden party. You don’t say. Did Janie by any chance show you the foyer, Jack?”
Jack quirked an eyebrow at me, his blue eyes glinting with amusement. “What do you want me to say here, Ace?”
“Nothing.” I shot daggers at him with my eyeballs. “You say nothing.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jack saluted with a cocky grin. “Come on, Maya. Let’s say goodbye to your tadpoles while your mom helps Claire and Nisha get your suitcase in the car.”
“Great!” Maya bolted down the hallway.
Jack shot me a wink and ambled after her.
Nisha grabbed Maya’s purple suitcase and made a big show of hefting it off the floor. “Oof! It’s so heavy. Thank goodness you’re here to help, Janie. I don’t know if I could carry all five pounds of this by myself.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Forget the suitcase,” Claire said. “I don’t know how long it takes to say goodbye to tadpoles, but I think that hot manny of yours has bought us five minutes, tops. What do we need to know?”
“I texted you a copy of Maya’s insurance card in case of emergencies, along with the contact information for her primary doctor.
Maya had a meltdown on Monday. She actually hasn’t had many issues this summer.
A boy cut her hair at a birthday party yesterday, and I thought for sure she would have the biggest meltdown we ever saw, but no.
Let’s see, what else…” I mused. This wasn’t Claire’s first weekend with Maya, so she knew what to expect.
“Great, but that’s not what Claire meant,” Nisha said. “What is going on with you and your manny?”
I played dumb. “What do you mean?”
“Janie,” Claire said in her best kindergarten teacher voice. “You cannot fuck your manny.”
“I know that,” I huffed like I wasn’t, in fact, fucking my manny. Because I did know that, in the way that people knew a third glass of wine was a bad idea. Knowing and resisting were two very different things. “But what if I fucked him before he was my manny?”
Claire served me a look. “Oh, like a blowjob in our parents’ foyer, you mean?
” She rolled her eyes. “Yes, this is a mature adult relationship that won’t cause any problems for Maya.
I can see that.” She sighed like it came from her soul.
“I love you, Janie, but you make terrible decisions when it comes to men.”
My head snapped up. “One terrible decision. One. And no one will ever let me forget it.”
“Having an affair with your child’s caregiver would be another,” Claire said gently. “I think you know that.”
She made it sound so…gross. “He’s only here for the summer. Jack is leaving in September.” I said it to remind myself as much as my sister.
“That doesn’t change the fact that Maya needs him now. What happens if things go wrong with you two? Relationships are messy. You know that. The last thing Maya needs is mess.”
She wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t said to myself a hundred times already. God, I was an awful mom. So fucking selfish. Maya deserved better. What was I thinking, putting her happiness and well-being at risk? And for what, good sex with a man who would be out of our lives before the first frost?
Really, really, really good sex. Mind-blowing, soul-shattering, life-altering sex.
But it was still just sex. It wasn’t love. Even if it felt like maybe it could be, someday, like that was where we were heading—we were never going to get there. We had an expiration date. If we kept going like this, I was going to be hurting as much as Maya when summer was over.
Claire took me by the shoulders. “You are a good mom, Janie. But I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me nothing is going on with your manny.”
“Nothing is going on with Jack,” I lied in a voice two octaves above my usual tone.
Claire rolled her lips together like she was suppressing a laugh. “You always were a shit liar, my love. Also, your underwear is on the porch. You might want to pick them up before your daughter sees them.”
My face went up in flames. I hadn’t spared a single thought for the ruined panties Jack had stripped from my body before eating me on the porch swing.
There had been the nagging feeling that I was forgetting something while I showered and changed into my pajamas, but I figured it was just my guilty conscience.
Not my underwear. Jack had truly fucked me stupid.
“It’s going to be okay.” Claire gave my shoulders a sympathetic squeeze. “If this thing with Jack is only temporary, then…you know…wrap it up.” She circled her wrist impatiently. “You have this whole weekend to get him out of your system. Get your bad out, Janie.”
I stilled, certain I had misheard her. “Get my bad out?”
“Yeah. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I don’t mean it like Mom does.
You’ve been a single mom since you were barely old enough to drink.
Of course you want to cut loose once in a while, and even I can see that if you’re into men, you’re definitely into Jack.
He’s hot. So use this weekend to do that.
Get your bad out, and then you can settle down again.
I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all. I don’t want Maya to get hurt, either.”