Chapter 16 #2
“Yeah, but they must sleep somewhere. You didn’t show me their rooms, but I know there are a few parts left of the house we didn’t see on the tour.”
“Those were linen closets and snow gear. Stuff like skis and snowshoes. The men have barracks you get to from the garage. There’s a side tunnel that leads to it.
It comes out to a building on the far side of the patio.
They have windows that face out, but not toward that area.
There are security cameras out there, but none point toward the hot tub. It allows the family privacy.”
“You said your papá built this for your mamá.”
I nod. Her cheeks pinken. I nod again. I don’t want to think about how my brother and I came to be. I’d rather think we were the product of immaculate conception.
“But yes, the cameras angle away so my parents can do whatever it is they want to do out there. Same with my tías and tíos who have visited here. When the heat wasn’t on, and it was an ice plunge, my cousins and I used to dare each other to jump in naked.”
It’s not like our men haven’t seen us from time to time when we’ve had to strip out of contaminated clothing that needs burning. But generally, we don’t parade ourselves around in front of our guards and soldiers.
I still need to know what she wants to eat. “What are you in the mood for this morning, baby girl?”
She smiles at me, loving each little term of endearment I have for her. I’ve enjoyed coming up with each of them.
“I can make eggs while you make waffles, Papí.”
As we put away the groceries last night, I showed her around the kitchen.
This morning, we work together in companionable silence.
Once we’re seated in the breakfast nook, we continue to chat about our childhoods.
We get into the things we enjoyed during high school, the sports I played, and the clubs we belonged to.
She wasn’t a competitive athlete but loved to cycle.
That worries me as I picture her riding her bike in parts of Bogotá that aren’t safe for a woman on her own.
I wouldn’t suggest a man without the training I have go alone either.
She reaches across the table. “Daddy, I never went alone. I had guards with me when I cycled. Both of my abuelos insisted upon it. Mamá grounded me for two weeks the one time I tried to go out on my own. I didn’t even make it.”
She smirks as her gaze slides over me. I wonder if she’s picturing me in tight cycling shorts.
“I have a home gym, little one, and I have a spin cycle in it. So, while I don’t ride on the street often, I do cycle at home. I also enjoy trail riding and mountain biking.”
Her eyebrows shoot straight up.
“So that’s something we can do together?”
“Yes, chica, I’d love that. We could even cycle through Central Park if you wanted.”
She curls her nose at that. “Isn’t that too crowded for you?”
“We’d have our mini peloton along with us only because I’d want you protected. I cycle with Alejandro when he’s around, but not that often anymore. I take a guard with me rather than go alone. If you don’t want to do Central Park, there’re plenty of trails outside the city where we can go.”
We finish breakfast and move to the living room where we watch a movie.
“I can’t believe how similar our tastes are.”
She comments on it because we keep pointing out the same movies at the same time. It’s something small, but it confirms we’re compatible. It’s another confirmation she’s the right woman for me.
Since there are only cameras in the hallway outside the indoor swimming pool, I convince her to go skinny dipping with me.
It’s a repeat of the last time we swam together.
I know eventually the novelty and newness of being able to fuck whenever we want will wear off, but for now we’re insatiable.
When we finish swimming, I think about what else we can do after lunch.
I’ll suggest board games since she noticed several she liked on a shelf beneath the TV.
I know it’s much easier to pass the time and enjoy this house with a large family since there’s always something to do and someone to hang out with.
But we both enjoy the solitude. We have nothing we must do after the games, so we nap.
I know mine is a lifetime of accumulated exhaustion since I never ever nap.
The constant stress and adrenaline of the past two days are probably affecting Flora.
Even when we’ve been relaxed, there’s the ever-present knowledge there could be a credible threat at any moment.
That’s exhausting. Plus, we’re not sleeping much at night considering we wake each other at least twice for sex.
The day isn’t creeping by, but we have a couple hours of daylight left before dinner. I ask her whether she wants to go outside for a while. We bundle up, and I take her out on the snowmobiles.
“We can’t go too far from the house, little one. But we can enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.”
“That would be nice after being inside all day.”
“There’s a second garage door that leads to a path that can be our escape route if we need it.”
“I spotted it from the window yesterday. It’s steep.”
“It is, but I’ve ridden snowmobiles along it for years.”
We head down the mountainside. Flora’s riding behind me since she’s never been on one before.
They’re like jet skis, which she’s been on plenty of times apparently, but they’re not exactly the same.
I’ll give her lessons another day. For now, she laughs and squeezes my waist, enjoying the speed.
I don’t go as fast as my father and tíos trained me to since this isn’t an emergency escape.
It’s just a joyride. Our cheeks are red from the wind and excitement by the time we get back inside.
We shower together, but surprisingly, no sex, just plenty of kisses and long embraces.
Then we cook together again. It’s a good thing we both enjoy this since it’s more time we can spend together.
All this togetherness could be stifling.
I know we’ll wind up wanting to do things apart even while we’re here. It wouldn’t be healthy for us to spend every single minute together no matter how much we enjoy each other’s company. But for now, we want to do most things as a couple.
I wake up to an empty bed, but I can see the light shining underneath the bathroom door. I roll over, but I’m only dozing since I’m waiting for Flora to get back in bed with me. As the minutes tick away and I don’t hear the shower, the faucet, or the toilet, I get nervous. I knock on the door.
“Flora, you all right?”
She opens the door, her face pale, and tears brimming in her eyes.
“What happened? What’s wrong? Do you not feel well?”
I have a lifetime of training and practice controlling any hint of panic. It all goes out the window.
“I’m all right.” She’s speaking and shaking her head at the same time. That’s hardly reassuring.
“Baby girl, what’s the matter?”
She looks over at the counter where our toothbrushes and toothpaste stand.
“Pablo, I don’t know how I could’ve forgotten, but I don’t have my birth control pills with me. I’ve taken them every day for fifteen years. Somehow, I completely forgot over the past three days.”
A tear tumbles down her cheek as I pull her into my arms.
“I know I should probably be okay, but that’s certainly no guarantee.”
“Flora, nothing but abstinence is one hundred percent guaranteed. I’ve told you before that I’ve never come inside another woman. That hinted at the risk I know we’re both taking. If I didn’t see a future with you that could include kids, I would never have done that.”
“Yeah, but you thought I was on birth control. I told you I was.”
“I know, but I also knew there was always a chance.”
“Pablo, what if I am pregnant?” She pulls away from me, wanting to look me in the eye.
“Then we talk about it and plan together. But I’ll always respect your wishes, Flora. You have more say in this than I do. I won’t trap you into a relationship you don’t want. But I also don’t want children out of wedlock.”
“Is that because you need an heir or because you’re Catholic?”
“No, I’m not worried about an heir. Tío Enrique proves the jefe doesn’t have to have a son to inherit.
I have four cousins who may have sons at some point.
There’s bound to be another Diaz in line to be jefe after I’m gone.
But yes, as lapsed a Catholic as I am, I admit that’s part of why.
I’ve also watched Carmine Mancinelli grow up with a dysfunctional set of parents who are better off now that they’re separated.
However, his life was hard enough because his mom got pregnant at nineteen.
Her father, the old don, and her father-in-law forced her and Carmine’s father to marry.
I can guess how much worse his life would’ve been if they hadn’t married at all. ”
She leans back against me and sighs. I feel her head nod against my chin as I continue.
“Not everyone in our branch is as forward-thinking as my family is. No one in my family would hold it against us if we didn’t marry but had children.
However, I don’t want to make life hard for my kids.
Even if any sons stayed out of the Cartel, they’d still be around it.
I don’t want daughters with that stigma any more than I would sons. What about you?”
“I feel the same way. My children’ll inherit nothing substantial from my father’s side of the family despite their influence.
My mother’s side has money but no power.
However, there’re plenty of people on both sides of my family who are still old-fashioned.
It definitely wasn’t easy growing up with a mother who never married my father.
Even though he was dead, it was rough. She didn’t have the respect of being a widow.
There were things said to her and to me over the years that confirmed I want to be married if and when I have children. ”
“What do you want to do? I can pull out, or we can abstain.”
It’s my turn to lean back so I can see her. She looks about as thrilled at those solutions as I feel. I brush my lips against hers.
“Chiquita, do you want me to pull out?”
Her expression shows how conflicted she feels. I’m certain her emotions mirror mine until we both shake our heads. I may have asked her, but I’m wondering whether I want to.
“Pablo, I’m thirty-four. I’m not getting any younger.
I know plenty of women these days have babies well into their forties, but it still doesn’t change the risks associated with advanced maternal age.
You’re a trained biologist, just like me.
You know what I know, even if neither of us are geneticists.
We’ve talked about a future together, even if it hasn’t been specific.
We know there’s something between us that won’t go away. ”
“You’re right, Flora, and I don’t believe this is just the result of being trapped in houses together. Or because we’re relying on each other.”
“I don’t know that you rely on me that much, Pablo, but I’m definitely relying on you.”
“I told you yesterday how you make me feel. I’ve definitely come to rely on you, little one.”
“Then, do we take our chances? I have no idea how fertile I might be, if at all.”
“I don’t know either. I could shoot blanks for all I know.”
I flash her a smile, and she relaxes. We both know she could get pregnant.
We accept that, but neither of us has said we love each other.
It’s odd to think of marriage and a family without having said that.
I’m positive neither of us is there yet, but it’s inevitable.
We just need to stay alive long enough to have time.