Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Flora
It surprises me how comfortable I am with Pablo’s mother and tías. All four women have been exceedingly sweet to me, and it makes all of what’s happened in the past day easier to manage while Pablo’s gone. I was hesitant at first because being around such a loving family is new to me.
Really, it’s only been Mamá and me for most of my life.
I have tías and tíos on both sides of the family, but we’ve never been that close to them.
Not the way the Diaz family is with each other.
It’s extraordinary to see the women move around Margherita’s house as though it’s their home as well.
It’s clear they spend plenty of time together.
Even Elle, who’s new to the family, fits in as though she’s been a Diaz for decades, not just a few months.
My mind still dwells on how Luciana in particular can overlook my family’s past, especially now that her sons are on a mission and in danger because of me.
“Florencia, I can tell you’re still apprehensive around me. That’s the last thing I want.”
I guess the entire family are mind readers, not just Pablo, because Luciana says what I was just feeling.
“It’s not anything you’ve done. You’ve made me feel extremely welcome.
You spent most of your day showing me around apartments and helping me plan my résumé.
I just don’t understand how you can be so accepting of me when I’m surely a constant reminder of what happened between my father and you.
I know I resemble him more than I do my mother. ”
“That’s true. But like I said at dinner, we don’t choose the families we’re born into.
If we could, no one would choose to be part of a cartel.
There’s more pain and anguish that comes with that than most people would choose.
You didn’t ask to be caught in the middle of this, but you were.
And that’s something I will never blame you for. ”
“Mamá won’t tell me much about how things were when my father was still alive.
She generally refuses to talk about him unless it’s singing his praises.
I know most of what she says is exaggeration or time softening hard memories.
I don’t want to open old wounds, but I wish I knew more of the truth. ”
“Florencia, that’s completely fair. There’s your family’s version, and my family’s version, and somewhere in between is the absolute truth.
I can only share with you how things were from our perspective.
Your abuelo was determined to take over parts of Bogotá.
He figured he could inch his way into more wealth and more power without my papá noticing before it was too late. However, that wasn’t the case.”
“That sounds entirely like Abuelo.”
“Papá noticed immediately. Rather than back down and save everybody time, money, and lives, Ernesto kept pushing until my father had no choice but to strike back. It was something he disliked because he knew it was inevitable good men would die on both sides when they could’ve avoided that.
There was no way Papá would back down from his position since he was jefe de jefes.
So, he offered a compromise. Domingo’s sisters were far too young for Enrique.
Luis was already married, and Catalina and Matáis had been together for years and already engaged.
It fell to Domingo and me to be the sacrificial lambs. ”
As Luciana continues, I count my blessings that I got to choose Pablo. It makes me wonder if one day, Abuelo would’ve forced a marriage on me. Likely not since I’m not growing any younger.
“Your father was to get a position high in the Diaz organization. He would’ve had that to brag about.
But he would’ve worked for Papá, which would’ve kept him in his place.
Papá was entrusting your father and his family with me, which was a major concession on Papá’s part.
But it gave your father’s family status they would never have had on their own.
I knew from the very beginning Domingo was unfaithful. ”
I can’t help but flinch.
“I turned a blind eye to it because I knew I’d never love him.
We just weren’t that compatible. I was fond of him, and I enjoyed spending time with him in the beginning, but we were never going to be a love match.
I figured as long as he treated me well, and he loved any children we had, then I could make do.
A lifetime in a loveless marriage didn’t excite me, but we all have duties to our families and the people who depend upon us. ”
I didn’t feel that way until Abuelo backed me into a corner. I knew he was manipulating me when he told me he had people who worked for him relying on the money he’d make from my work. It certainly was never to the extent people depend upon los Diaz, but it was enough to guilt me into agreeing.
“War is bad for business for those who depend on the stability leaders should bring them. Ernesto may not have seen it that way, but that’s what my parents drilled into me.”
“He didn’t see it that way until he used that very idea to force me.”
I can’t help but interject, even though I don’t want to interrupt. Luciana nods before continuing. I can see she understands.
“I knew about Magdalena all along. He started dating your mother about three weeks after he proposed to me. That was really just a formality since our fathers had already signed the contracts. We were engaged for a year while I finished school. Once I graduated, everybody started pressuring me to settle on a date. The more time I spent with him once I lived in Bogotá again, the more obvious it became we might not be as compatible as I hoped. It didn’t even have to do with his infidelity.
When I met Esteban, it’s like something came alive within me.
I felt things for him I’d never felt before, and I know I will never feel again. ”
It’s my turn to nod. That’s how I feel about Pablo. I feel whole now.
“Esteban was a force to be reckoned with.”
“I’ve heard plenty of people say that about you, Ana.”
She laughs, but Catalina practically snorts before she speaks.
“You can put it that way.”
Luciana ignores her older sister as though the woman never spoke, but I see the humor in her eyes.
“Yeah, well, I’m the easygoing one of the four of us.”
I believe her, though the deep-set laugh lines around Enrique’s eyes and mouth tell of a lifetime of laughter. I suppose it hasn’t been all horrible for their family.
“Your father never forgave me for choosing Esteban. Some of it was because the peace fell apart when the engagement did, but I never forgave him for being part of the plot that wound up killing my father. He tried to get revenge on me and on Esteban more than once. However, Enrique still considered him useful for some mid-level jobs. It was the same as with Tío Humberto, whom Enrique allowed to oversee some of the domestic enterprises since Enrique lived in New York by then. Luis came and went from Colombia a lot, but he was here in New Jersey, just not at this house yet.”
It’s a beautiful home, and I saw photos of Pablo and his brother as I walked into the living room. This space has plush furniture, including a sofa that invites you to nap.
“Domingo tried killing Esteban more than once, but he always failed because Esteban was three steps ahead of him. When he finally ran out of patience and was too humiliated by his ongoing failures, he eventually turned to Tío Humberto. My tío suggested he target me, so Domingo did. That’s when Esteban could no longer overlook Domingo’s bitterness and hostility.
I was pregnant with Joaquin when Domingo attacked me.
We all knew Magdalena was expecting you, and none of us were thrilled at the thought of leaving a child fatherless, but it was our family or yours. ”
“I understand that. I can’t blame your family for doing what they did. It was necessary to protect you. No one ever told me you were pregnant, and it’s only recently that I learned what he tried to do to you.”
“Domingo made his own choices, and so did Ernesto. Your abuelo was even more bent on revenge after losing your father. He went back to Tío Humberto years later when all of his plans for Esteban failed too. It was Tío Humberto who suggested Ernesto target Esteban when he was with Tres J’s.”
She pauses for a moment. She doesn’t look away from me, so I see the deep sadness that settles in her gaze. I watch her swallow twice before she continues.
“My boys watched their father die that day. He’d gotten them into an SUV when they were under attack.
Just as he closed the door with the boys inside, a sniper fatally wounded him.
From what I understand, it was very gruesome, and not something boys of eight, nine, and ten should’ve seen, but they did.
It was the first part of their childhood stolen from them. ”
I think I might be ill. But I force myself not to shy away from hearing the rest of this story. I need to know. I need to know the extent of my family’s guilt, and I need to know Pablo’s family history if I’m to be part of its future.
The four women watch me, and I feel like I could shrivel under their gazes. Instead, I give myself a mental shake and remind myself that one day I’ll be in Elle’s position. At least, that’s the plan. Since I fully intend to marry Pablo, I can’t be weak or squeamish about these things.
“Will you tell me how my father died?”
Luciana hesitates for the first time. Her gaze darts to Catalina before returning to me. Out of the four women around me, Luciana was the only other one living in Bogotá then. Catalina dips her chin, and Luciana visibly inhales. This is the part I really need to understand.