Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Vita
Alejandro considers my question while I work through his pronouncement that we’re getting married.
It’s hardly a proposal, but he states it like a foregone conclusion.
In the back of my head, I already know it is.
We aren’t in love yet—at least not all the way in love—maybe halfway to being in love—but I don’t doubt we’ll get there. Something just clicked when I met him.
I know I wouldn’t have gotten so aroused on the yacht if I hadn’t felt safe with him.
It had me questioning my sanity once I got back to the hotel and all the way to NYC.
It wasn’t me creating a false sense of security for my mark so I could lure him into my crosshairs.
The way he defended me wasn’t about me personally.
I recognized he’d do that for any woman, but that alone made me admire him.
It wasn’t self-serving to get me to fuck him.
It was genuine and altruistic. Those aren’t qualities often found in the men I’m around.
I haven’t known him long, but he was right about how time is measured differently in our world.
I feel like I’ve known him for years. Today’s been eventful—perhaps the understatement of the year.
But it’s given me a chance to see him in several situations.
He could’ve killed me in the car or the hotel room, but he didn’t.
He could’ve gagged me rather than let me explain; instead, he listened.
He could’ve let me get shot, but instead, he dove on top of me to shield me.
He could’ve saved himself and Pablo and left me in the room for whoever the fuck shot at us.
The sex—the sex was unlike anything I’ve experienced before.
It was like an existential experience. It has me questioning everything I know about life and myself.
It was more than just special. It was life altering.
I don’t know that I could go back to meaningless orgasms. I don’t bang every guy I’m attracted to who looks my way.
I’m selective with my partners and return to the same ones, but I feel nothing but lust when I’m with them.
There’s affection between Alejandro and me.
I haven’t had that since university. I’d told myself that I didn’t have time to miss it.
For the most part, I hadn’t. But now that I have it, I don’t want it to go away.
I want to hold onto it and cherish it. There was a closeness I’ve never felt before when I sat on his cock to talk to him.
A type of intimacy that made me feel like I could share everything under the sun with him despite my hesitance and even resistance.
“Vita, if we go to them, then we control the narrative. It’d be better than them finding out, and Serafina confronting you.”
“What do we tell them?”
“We met while we were traveling and bumped into each other at one of my family’s nightclubs. We’ve been hanging out, and now we’re dating. None of that is a lie, just the convenient parts of the truth.”
“We have to stick to that. If we make up anything or even for a second look like we’re withholding anything that isn’t private between a couple, Sera will know I’m lying.”
“Besides giving her a heads up, what do you want to get out of the meeting, chiquita?”
“What do you think Carmine will share if you’re there? If he knows or can find out who put the hit on me, would he even tell you?”
“Only because we’re in a relationship.”
“Are we going to define that relationship?”
“You’re my girlfriend—for now.”
The way he says it doesn’t sound like he thinks we’ll break up. Just the opposite. It’s a precursor to fiancée, then wife, and that’s an irrefutable fact.
I like it.
I like it a lot.
“I should call Sera to make sure she’s home and not at one of her bakeries. Do I give her a heads up that I’m coming with my boyfriend? She’ll demand to know who it is before she lets him in her house. Do I admit it’s you?”
“Tell her you want to bring someone with you, but you can’t tell her over the phone on an unsecure line. She’ll understand that. She’s smart enough to guess it’ll be Joaquin or me.”
“How?”
“We’re the only two left standing. If it were someone outside the Four Families, you’d at least hint at it. All the rest of the men in the families are already married.”
“She’ll tell Carmine the moment we hang up.”
“I know.”
I stare at my phone and almost want to toss it away from me like a scalding stone. Instead, I take a breath and pull my big girl panties on. I unlock the screen and pull up Serafina’s contact. It rings twice on speakerphone before she answers.
“Toria?”
“Hi, Sera.”
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m in town. I hoped to see you.”
“You didn’t answer my question. What do you need?”
It could sound accusatory, like she expects I’ll demand her help or money or something. But she’s offering protection or a way to escape.
“To see you. Some stuff’s come up that I think you and Carmine should know about.”
“Car!”
Good thing the phone isn’t by my ear even though I know she held hers away from her. She’s always had a voice that carries.
“Fina, what’s wrong?”
I hear running footsteps approaching, and I can only imagine the panic the man’s in. He’s completely besotted with Sera even after a few years. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her.
“Do you remember my friend Vittoria? She’s in town, and she’d like to come over. She said she has something to talk to us about.”
“Hello, Vittoria.”
“Hi, Carmine.”
“Are you safe?”
That’s not the first question normal people ask each other, but it’s pretty fucking standard in syndicate life. I don’t know if Sera’s told him what I do now, but he knows my family because he knows Sera’s.
“Yes. I’d like to come over with someone because I need to tell you something.”
“Someone?”
Carmine and Sera speak at the same time.
“Yes. My boyfriend. But I shouldn’t say anything more over the phone.”
“Fuck you, Alejandro.”
I jerk back, not expecting that at all.
“Charming as always, Carmine.”
I shift my attention from my phone to Alejandro. He’s grinning and rolls his eyes.
“How’d—Never mind. May we come over?”
“Yes.” It’s Sera who answers.
“Carmine, you know I won’t wait in the car. I will leave my gun there. I’ll drive us, so no guards.”
“Why would you bother when you’ve got a dozen on each side of me?”
My brow furrows as I continue to look at Alejandro.
“Pablo and Florencia live to the right, and Madeline and Javier live to the left. They fell in love with their houses. It’s not their fault there’s an eyesore between them.”
“Fuck you, Alejandro.”
“Broken record, Carmine. You sound like Niko’s fucking parrot.”
I’m completely lost, so Alejandro explains.
“Niko Kutsenko, the third oldest brother, has a swearing African parrot. The animal’s cool as shit even if his owner’s a piece of shit.”
I don’t know a ton about the Kutsenkos beyond there are four brothers who make up the Elite Group—Maksim, Alexei, Nikolai, and Bogdan.
Their cousins on their father’s side are Anton and Pasha, and their cousins on their mother’s side are Sergei and Misha Andreyev.
The four cousins are the next most senior members of their branch.
With the shit we might be in the middle of, I suppose I’ll learn more about them soon.
I sure as fuck will if—when—I marry Alejandro.
That last thought doesn’t feel as scary as I assumed it would.
“We’re home, Toria. Come over when you’re ready.”
“Thanks, Sera.”
“My men will search you, Alejandro.”
“As long as they don’t like it too much.”
“Vaffanculo, bel ragazzo.” Fuck off, pretty boy.
“Come una polla, Carmine.” Eat a dick, Carmine.
Sera and Alejandro chuckle, and Carmine mutters something. I’m clearly missing something again. Alejandro leans over to whisper to me.
“Apparently, while they were dating, Carmine pissed her off. She sent a penis cake to Salvatore’s house that had that written in English in raspberry glaze.
There were photos Joaquin came across when he hacked Gabriele’s phone a couple years ago.
We shared it with the bratva and mob. He’s never lived it down. ”
“Shared?”
“Being nice to those twats was worth it at Carmine’s expense.”
“It’s getting close to your bedtime, Alejandro. Hurry up.”
“You’re the one who needs to catch up on his beauty sleep.”
“Boys.” Sera’s voice interrupts, and I giggle.
“We’re coming from New Jersey, Sera. We’ll be there soon.”
I don’t know how long it’ll take to get from northern New Jersey to Queens. I’m guessing half an hour at least. We hang up the call and join the others in the living room.
“We didn’t learn much from my dad, but I’m confident he’ll dig now that he knows I might be in danger. He’ll check in with me soon if for no other reason than to make sure I’m still breathing.”
“We’re headed to Serafina and Carmine’s.”
Alejandro’s announcement puts scowls on everyone’s faces. I feel like I should speak up, explain that Sera and I grew up together. I fear that’ll only make it worse though. Enrique assesses me before he speaks. It doesn’t help that I already feel like I’m standing before a firing squad.
“How well do you know Serafina?”
“She’s my best friend.”
I want to wince since I didn’t explicitly tell Alejandro that.
I probably should have. His arm’s around my waist, with his thumb against my back.
He rubs it up and down to reassure me. I suppose it wasn’t hard for him to figure that out from what I already told him and from how Sera and I sounded on the phone.
“She won’t tell you anything about her father or your father’s dealings if she knows anything.”
“I wouldn’t tell her either. We’ve never talked about it.
I don’t expect her to tell me how the Mancinellis are involved—if they even are.
But she’ll tell me if the Mancinellis know whether I’m the new target.
Carmine knows what we mean to each other.
He wouldn’t keep that from her, even if I am Alejandro’s—”
Fuck!
“Girlfriend.”
He fills in the blank, and I breathe easier.
I didn’t know what to label myself as, and I didn’t want to presume what he’d tell his family.
There are knowing looks on the older generation’s faces, and Tres J’s appear bored.
I do not need Catalina and Matáis thinking I’m sleeping with their son as mere fuck buddies.
I mean, I’m certain they’ve guessed what we’ve gotten up to, but ugh!
I’m not a prude but having them know I’m intimately involved with their son just feels icky. Not just because of how we got together but in general as his parents. Their expressions tell me they know what Alejandro’s already told me—I’ll be his wife sooner rather than later.
Frankly, if I weren’t in this for good, I wouldn’t be standing here. My silence on the matter has been consent. If I didn’t want this, I wouldn’t have come here. I would’ve dug my heels in or escaped—at least tried to. My resistance comes from what I’ve felt like I should think and say.
As I gaze up at Alejandro, I know my resistance is futile. I don’t want to fight this. When he stares down at me, the rest of the world slips away.
I’m yours.
It’s as though I can read his mind, and he can read mine.
Some energy passes through us, and I’m positive we’re thinking the same thing.
When we look at everyone else, I lean my head against his chest. I don’t realize it until Alejandro tightens his hold on me.
When I attempt to lift my head, embarrassed by the slip, he squeezes my waist.
“We need to get going. Sorry we delayed dinner, but we’re going to skip it.”
Alejandro makes our excuses. I didn’t even think about keeping the family from their meal.
“Let me fix you both something to take with you.”
Catalina rises from the sofa and looks at me.
She tilts her head toward the kitchen. She speaks as though this is her home rather than her brother and sister-in-law’s.
I leave Alejandro’s side and follow his mother into the kitchen.
She immediately pulls plates from the cabinet, and it takes no time for me to realize she’s as comfortable here as she would be her own home. I stay out of the way.
“Keep my son alive, and I’ll learn to love you like you’ve always been my daughter. Endanger him, and you’ll wish you’d never been born.”
She speaks while piling food onto two plates. She covers them in cling wrap and hands them to me with a smile like she’s giving me brownies at a bake sale not a death threat.
I respect and admire her while being terrified.
“Mrs. De Santos, I—”
“Catalina.”
Progress?
Elodie lets me use a nickname, and Alejandro’s mother’s letting me use her first name. Maybe I’ll still be breathing tomorrow.
“I hope I can earn your trust. None of this is happening the way I thought it would. I don’t know how I got so fortunate, considering the sins I’ve committed.”
“Repentance and forgiveness are what we tell ourselves to get by.”
What the fuck does that mean?
“Yyyes.”
I draw out the word because what the hell else do I say?
“We live the life we were given by birth and make the most of it. We can repent for our sins we don’t plan to commit again and ask for forgiveness when we can earn it.
You’ve done that today. But even God can’t turn a blind eye to the ones we do over and over.
You’ve admitted to why you met my son, and I see what you’re like together.
You can’t fake what you two share. I can forgive a great deal, Vittoria.
This life has forced me to, but it’s also given me a long memory. ”
I’m a C and E—Christmas and Easter—Catholic because I share the same sentiment—God can’t ignore the sins I willingly commit over and over.
It feels too hypocritical to keep confessing and hoping for reconciliation when I leave church and pick up the gun I put down right before Mass.
While it’s a blessing that Catalina understands, she’s given me a healthy dose of Catholic mother’s guilt.
God help me when she meets my mother.
Never mind God, the two of them might smite me where I stand.
“I understand.”
“I know you do, gordita.”
Context is everything. I’m pretty sure she means sweetie or honey and not the literal chubby little girl. I prefer to take it as a compliment.
I glance down at the food before looking toward the living room. After that little warning, I’m glad I watched her prepare the plates. Otherwise, I’d fear her poisoning me.
“Alejandro and I really should get going.”
We join the others, and Alejandro takes the food from me. He looks at Catalina, then me, and his brow creases. I’m certain he’s wondering what his mother said to me. I fear I’m either white as a ghost or red as a firetruck. Either way, he’s watching me like he fears I’ll pass out.
“Chiquita?”