Eleven
T hings happened quickly after that.
I’d sorted through the lease papers with Carter in our new place. Marlena had given us spare furniture for our suite: an old couch she didn’t use, a couple mattresses, a dresser and kitchen utensils. It was enough to tide us over until we earned more money for new things.
Honestly, though? It was more than I could have dreamed of. When you have absolutely nothing to your name, furniture becomes a treasure you don’t care what form it’s in.
After we signed the agreement, I went to the bar to look into the waitressing job they’d literally opened up for me. The gesture was beyond kind. I’d actually be earning money, and I was bursting with excitement at that. I’d never felt so grown up before, or…independent.
Marlena sorted out my schedule, introduced me to a couple other waitresses, and then gave me a few uniforms. My head was spinning by the time I’d gotten back. In less than a day my life had completely changed, and I owed it to Carter for whisking me out of the shithole we grew up in.
I’d been so scared, and now I was asking myself what the hell I had been so scared of.
At the back of my mind, I did worry Russell would find me. That he’d wind up at my door and make me return to that shithole of a place. I suffered a few anxiety attacks the first few days and wound up disappearing into the toilet to breathe through it.
I hid, hoping no one would know, and I thought I’d done a good enough job until a soft knock sounded on the stall door. I’d had my face buried in my hands, and I was panting. I looked up, sweaty and weak. “Yeah?” I let out, questionably.
“Open up.”
My shoulders sagged. “You’re not allowed in the female bathroom, Carter.”
“Open. Up.”
I quickly used my sleeve to wipe my face, and then I leaned over and unlocked the stall door. Carter stepped in and closed the door behind him, and suddenly the stall never felt so small.
Still feeling shaky, I looked down at the floor as he kneeled before me. I blinked away, determined not to look at his face. “I’m fine,” I tried telling him quickly. “Just need a minute—”
“You’ve been gone almost an hour.”
My eyes bulged as I glimpsed at him. “An hour?”
Carter’s face was warm as he regarded me. There was light stubble on his face, and his eyes looked tired. We both had hardly slept lately. “Talk to me,” he implored delicately. “Let me in, Angel.”
I stared into his eyes, feeling my own water. “It’s just…new, all of this. I’m adjusting.”
His hands cradled mine, squeezing them. “You’re doing an amazing job.”
I smiled weakly at him. “So are you.”
We were quiet for a few moments. He came closer, and then his forehead was bumping mine as he peered at me, looking like he genuinely cared how I was. His lips gently brushed mine, and I closed my eyes to the feel of them. “You’re safe,” he whispered.
I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying not to cry. “I know.”
“No,” he replied sternly. “You don’t. But, baby, you’re safe. I promise.”
I nodded stiffly, and then his arms came around me, hugging me to him in a tight embrace. I buried my face in his neck, and for a while there, we breathed each other in.
“Stop thinking about them,” he told me. “Don’t let them win.”
I don’t know how long he held me like that, but when he finally pulled away, my face was dry and I was smiling. I looked at him, brushing my fingers along his face, asking him quietly, “How do you do that?”
He smiled softly. “Do what?”
“Make the pain go away?”
His lips parted as he stared hard at me. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, that smile fading. Without answering, he brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Come on,” he said, forcing me to my feet. “I’ve got to be a soulful musician, and you’re the hottest waitress I’ve ever seen. Let’s blow everyone away.”
I laughed as he tugged me out of the stall.
*
The weeks that followed consisted of me training for a job with some seriously long hours, watching Carter form a band while clashing with Rome, and catching up on a lot of homework from school after I’d returned from the break with nothing to show for it. After what Carter said, I never allowed myself to think of Russell and Cheryl. I’d grown happier every day I moved on from that life, but I knew I wasn’t as far away from them as I’d like to have been.
Carter and I slept on the mattresses on the floor until we could afford a bed. Nobody knew that he usually slipped into mine every night. Nighttime was usually my favourite time of the day; that was when Carter made out with me right before we fell asleep. It sort of became routine, being in each other’s arms, kissing until our lips had grown tired and our pulses had slowed down from some seriously intense make out sessions.
Carter did things to me that made my eyes roll to the back of my head, using that tongue in ways that were downright wicked. Still, he didn’t have sex with me, and I was left frustrated most nights with a new ache between my legs that needed to be filled, literally .
There was no way I could wait any longer.
And right when I began to fall asleep, Carter would give me a goodnight kiss and slip out of bed and into his own room. I never got used to it. In fact, I hated it more than anything. This was him drawing the line. Telling me that although there was “more” between us, we weren’t in a relationship.
Friends.
We were just friends, as usual.