Chapter 36
Rykr
Amahle’s bedroom resembled a war room more than sleeping quarters, with maps sprawled across every flat surface, the air thick with sweat and the heat of too many bodies crammed into a tight space, and the scent of half-eaten food and ale rising from the stacked plates and cups beside the door.
Seren had returned with her friends and Tara in tow, which had even surprised Brogan Ragnall.
While I respected their desire to help rescue Esme and fight rather than flee, the logistics of involving so many people were fraught with room for error.
If any one of them was caught, we could all suffer for it.
It was also problematic that I wanted nothing more than to take Seren back to our room and relieve the unbridled lust I couldn’t seem to control when I looked at her.
She sat across the bed from me now, her legs crossed, the tight fabric of her leather trousers hugging her hips.
Despite my best efforts to find a less alluring place to fix my gaze, there wasn’t any place on her body that didn’t lead my thoughts back into temptation.
I’d enjoyed sinking my lips against the curve right below her hipbone. Trailing kisses to her inner thigh and tasting the sweetness of her—
“Pay attention,” she hissed, a faint blush on her cheeks. She leaned forward then, setting down the book on the Skorn.
I held her gaze, a feline smile twisting on my lips. “I was.”
“Really.” She arched a brow. “What did I just say?”
I sighed and leaned back on my hands, stretching my shoulders back. “You said that the Skorn trial’s first challenge is the Hall of Echoes—a tunnel leading into the base of the amphitheater. Most of the sentenced don’t know it exists and it eliminates two thirds of them.”
She smirked, an impressed look in her eyes. “And do you remember why it’s the first challenge?”
“Because it’s filled with Nyxwraiths—shadow creatures that make you face your deepest fears. They feed off doubt. The more you give in, the stronger they become.”
“And you Viori just so happen to keep these creatures on hand for your trials?” Thorne shook his head with a scoff. “Tell me there’s not something deeply twisted about that.”
“You’re right,” Tara shot back from her place beside her father. They were both poring over the map Darya had given her. “It’s much more barbaric than stealing infants out of their mother’s arms and cutting them with blood magic.”
Thorne narrowed his eyes. “Why do the pretty ones always have to have loud-mouthed, bossy older sisters? Better you than me, my friend,” he said to me with a chuckle.
He crossed his arms and looked back at Tara.
“Just how many violent criminals are there among the Viori that this trial needs to exist in the first place?”
Brogan’s face darkened and he silenced any retort from Tara with a look.
“The Skorn is barbaric. Losing the ability to admit that is a loss of our own integrity.” He locked eyes with Thorne.
“The Viori leadership uses it to sow fear of their authority into the hearts of the people. There are far more people in that arena every year than deserve to be there, though I would argue that no one deserves such a cruel punishment. But Haldron needs his spectacle, so there is never a lack of souls condemned to the trials.”
Amahle frowned, then sat beside Seren. “You mean there’s more than one trial before you face the Skorn warriors?”
“Apparently there are two other challenges.” Seren lifted the book and held it out to her.
“The Hall of Echoes, the Surfacing, and the Arena of Skorn. To be honest, the second challenge worries me the most. There’s barely any information on it.
All it says is that once the sentenced make it through the Hall of Echoes, they have to face the Surfacing before reaching the main arena of the Havamal. But I’m not sure what that involves.”
“Do you think the name has a clue?” Ciaran asked. He sat on the floor beside Thorne, preparing bandoliers of weapons they’d collected in the city, both looking too large and too squished to be comfortable sitting there.
“Probably.” Seren sighed and took the book back from Amahle. “I feel like I must be missing something.” She bit her lower lip and flipped through the pages again.
My gaze fixed on her mouth, my willpower slipping fast. I stood abruptly. “A word?” I asked holding a hand out to her.
She gave me a puzzled look, then a knowing look came into her eyes. Taking my hand, she let me lead her out of Amahle’s room and across the hall. Maybe everyone knew what I was doing, including her father, but right now I didn’t care.
I closed the door behind us, and she crossed her arms. “A word?”
“All right, three. I want you. Right now.” I pushed her back against the door and crushed my mouth against hers.
“You’re ridiculous,” she breathed against my lips, but sank into my arms just as readily, a soft, contented moan in her throat as she returned my kiss. “We need to be preparing for the Skorn.”
“We have two or three hours before we face certain death, and I can’t think of a better way to prepare.” My hands slid down to her waist, quickly working the buckle of her trousers.
I pushed her trousers down over her hips and turned her to face the door.
“My father’s right across the hall …” she warned as my lips dropped to the curve of her neck.
I undid my own trousers, releasing my hard length from the restraint of the fabric. “So what? He was there this morning too.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t know about it then.”
“If you think I’m worried even slightly about Brogan Ragnall’s discomfort, you’re in love with the wrong man,” I hissed, more irritated about the turn of the conversation than I wanted to admit.
She froze and threw a contemptuous look over her shoulder. “So, you’ve just been politely pretending all day that you’re fine being in the same room with him?”
Dammit.
This wasn’t going the way I had hoped at all.
“I haven’t been pretending anything. We have a deal. Once Esme is safe, he’ll turn himself over to me to face the consequences for his role in murdering my king. And queen, for that matter.”
She went utterly still.
Then she shoved me away. Hard.
She squirmed out of my arms, pulling her trousers up hastily.
I dipped my forehead against the cool surface of the door. Fantastic.
“Are you serious?” Her voice shook with accusation. “When were you planning on telling me this?”
“Right now … apparently. I have great timing. Or angering you is my favorite form of foreplay.”
“Sometimes I really hate you,” she spat.
I readjusted myself, then buckled my trousers again. “I love it when you lie to me.” Turning toward her, I rested my weight against the door and crossed my arms. “What do you want me to say? I love you, Seren. But that doesn’t change the fact that your father murdered my—”
“Your what?” Her eyes narrowed, gleaming with fury. “Who, exactly, was the king of Lirien to you, Rykr? Why do you care so much?”
Maybe I should have anticipated this.
Or prepared for this conversation better.
But I hadn’t and here we were.
I searched her gaze. My secret would be safe with her, that wasn’t what worried me now. But telling her the truth would change everything in ways I wasn’t ready to face. And it put her in danger. The truth was dangerous.
But this might be the last moment we had alone together.
“I think you know,” I said at last.
She flinched and tore her gaze away, as though she hadn’t wanted to hear that. She hugged her arms to her chest, unable to look at me.
My throat tightened. Gods, don’t look away from me, Seren.
“What’s your name?”
I swallowed, but the lump in my throat wouldn’t go down.
I should lie. I should stall. I should say anything but the truth.
But I couldn’t.
“Calix,” I said at last, my voice quieter than I meant it to be. “Or it was. I’ve gone by Rykr Westhaven for two years now.”
When she looked back at me, her eyes were red-rimmed. “Why were you in the forest?”
“My friend was attacked, dragged away by Viori. They used whistler quills on Thorne and me … I woke up hours later, alone.” I lifted my chin, the words difficult to push out. “The crucified man they brought into your encampment … that was my friend. Dalric.”
When she was silent, I stepped closer to her. “I couldn’t tell you because I—”
“I get it.” Her eyes were glassy. “But I don’t understand. Why are you Sealed to Pendara?”
“It was my father’s punishment. I burned down some buildings in Suomelin and he was tired of my lack of discipline, as he put it. So, he Sealed me to Pendara, Bound my other powers, and exiled me for two years.” That was about as succinct as I could put it.
She drew a sharp breath, then her eyes filled with tears. “What I don’t understand … you know we can’t be together, Ry—um.”
“Rykr.” I took her hands in my own. “I’m Rykr. To you, always. And maybe just in general. The man I was? He died, in many ways, after I was Sealed. And there are things about who I was before that I’m not proud of, Seren. Things I’m sure you’ll hear of in time. But that’s not who I am now.”
“Name aside, you’re the heir to the throne of Lirien. We can’t be together. We may be bonded by the oath, but your duties and loyalties lie elsewhere. My life is here. And that’s if I even live past tonight. Who knows how long I have. The Seidr said I was dying, Rykr.”
I had no answers.
Nothing to say that would make any of this better.
The thought that she’d choose to stay here, rather than go with me, made a knot form in my stomach.
I couldn’t think about it too much, but I was sure the reverse must be true, too.
Would she doubt my love if I didn’t stay here—give up my kingdom for her?
After a few beats, I said, “Whatever is waiting for us after tonight … we can face it together—figure it out then. But I think we have enough to worry about for now, wouldn’t you say?”
I moved around behind her, unable to face her right now. The pain of losing her … I couldn’t consider that.
Gathering her braid, I moved it gently, then set my hands on her shoulders and dug my thumbs into the muscles below her shoulder blades. “I don’t forgive you,” she murmured. “You’re the man who wants to kill my father.”
“Good.” I kneaded my hands down the length of her spine, continuing past her lower back. She quivered, her body betraying her in an instant, but my hands moved back up to the safety of her back and I kissed her neck.
My voice was soft like silk, my fingers stroking her gently. “The angrier you are, the more likely you are to claw at me like that wild thing I first met in the forest. I wake up hard thinking about that.”
She turned her profile toward me, eyes flaring. “You think you’re so charming.”
“If it’s working, then I am that charming.” I set my hands on her hips then turned her to face me. Lifting her chin with my thumb and forefinger, I brushed my lips against hers.
“Prick. You can’t just expect me to forget everything.”
I ran the backs of my knuckles against her cheekbone with a featherlight touch.
“Yes, but also your prick. Willing, ready, and able to be used exactly how you like, my love.” I smiled before I kissed her once again. “And I know just how you like it.” My lips crushed against hers, devouring, consuming her with a fire that singed us both.
She sank against me as I tugged her against my hard cock. “You don’t fight fair,” she managed between kisses. She pushed her hand past my waistband and grabbed my length as I groaned.
“Feel free to punish me however …” I trailed off as she glided her hand up and down, then managed a strangled, “What was I saying?”
“However?” she prodded, then bit my lip, our tongues lashing against each other’s. Maybe this conversation could wait.
“No, I think you were describing how you were going to punish me.” I stepped back, a wicked grin tugging at my lips. “I highly encourage your roughest, angriest punishment.”
Her eyes stormed, dark with lust. “Fuck it,” she groaned, then tumbled back into my arms.
The quiet of the room was soon replaced by our moans.
“I’m going to miss you,” she managed in a choked voice as I leaned over on the bed.
Don’t say that, I wanted to tell her. Don’t talk like we’ve already lost.
But I couldn’t bring myself to lie.
My precious warrior. She just showed me in her tears how much she loved me. It was the only time I’d seen Seren cry. And I felt so helpless to take those tears away.
The foreboding worries of the coming night seemed to push in from all sides, her tears flowing down her cheeks with each kiss as she whispered, “I wish we could just stay here. In this room. Together.”
“I’m still here.” I kissed her, moving inside her, our bodies and souls joined in a way that I knew I’d only ever find in her. “One moment at a time. Tonight has enough troubles for us both.”