Chapter 19
Nineteen
Peace swept through Carver the minute he stepped into the bedroom. Gideon was curled up on the bed, his face buried in the pillow as he’d come to do. The cage was closed and covered with a sheet, almost as if his sweet boy didn’t want to look at it.
Carver took a moment to watch over his form. He tracked the boy’s breaths. Then he observed how peaceful his face appeared in this deep dream state. It pleased Carver to know Gideon found comfort in his space.
He knew he couldn’t continue to lurk like a creep. The shower was calling his name.
Leaving the room took herculean effort. Once he was in the bathroom, Carver stripped his clothes and rushed into the shower.
He’d have to burn everything he wore that night.
There was no recovering them after how heavily soaked he’d been.
He could already see a pool of blood building around the pile on the tile.
Carver winced. He’d have to clean that up before going to bed. If his boy woke up to see the mess… well, he didn’t want to think of what could happen.
With a turn of the knob, the spray started up. It was cold at first, though it warmed quickly enough. Not that it mattered. Carver didn’t care enough for it to make a difference.
His mind was somewhere else completely. After taking out some of his anger on Varr, he became more determined than ever to track down Straube. The man’s days were numbered. Carver would see to it.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the other person joining him until a hand touched his shoulder. It took all his control not to attack the intruder.
But Carver knew who it was.
His body knew, and it wouldn’t let him hurt the boy he cared for. Spinning slowly as to not startle him, Carver took in this new development.
Gideon stood in the shower in his pajama pants. The fabric was soaked and clung to him. Carver made sure not to stare at the young man’s body longer than necessary.
“What are you doing here? You should be sleeping. I need to get clean.”
The boy frowned as his gaze went to the water. The water running red from the blood.
It hit Carver then what was wrong.
“I’m not hurt, sweet boy. This isn’t my blood.”
Gideon tilted his head in that way that always made Carver smile. His boy was inquisitive.
“It’s from the bad man. The one I took the call about earlier. He needed to be taken care of.”
The boy reached out and tapped Carver’s bicep twice. Somehow, Carver knew the question behind it.
“Yes, he’s gone. He won’t ever hurt anyone again,” he told him.
After that, the boy didn’t make a move. Carver wasn’t sure what he should do either. Did he send the boy away so he could finish showering? Or did he let him stay?
It didn’t seem all that appropriate for him to be naked with the younger man. Carver knew his role was to help Gideon shift back into society. He didn’t think that involved his cock.
While the boy might have been of legal age, they still had no clue what all he’d been through. He couldn’t, in good faith, assume the boy wanted any type of physical relationship. There was no blurring the lines that way.
“Sweet boy, I think it’s time you go wait for me to finish my shower.” His voice was soft while also firm. He needed to make sure Gideon understood how serious he was.
Gideon stepped away, the hurt on his face clear. Carver cursed under his breath.
“Don’t be upset. I don’t feel right about being like this with you when you still won’t speak with me. Consent is important. Anything that happens between us needs to be acknowledged by you. I’ve only gotten you to give me signals so far. I need more.”
Time slowed as Gideon opened and closed his mouth a few times. It tore Carver’s heart open to see his sweet boy trying so hard.
“Why don’t we do this?” he said after a few moments of giving the boy time to put together his words. “You can sit on the bench while I get clean. Then I’ll get us both dry and we can go to sleep.”
Gideon nodded at the suggestion. Carver guided him to the built-in shower bench off to the side before going back under the spray.
Now that he had an audience, Carver had to work extra hard to focus on the task at hand: showering.
He tried to force himself to think of the experience as something clinical.
As much as his cock wanted to pretend otherwise, it wasn’t right.
He couldn’t let his mixed-up emotions lead to something the boy didn’t consent to.
It would kill Carver to cross those boundaries.
While a lot of what the Angels did blur the lines between black and white, this was one thing he refused to bend on. He would have full express permission before he so much as hugged Gideon, much less did anything more.
Though he had kissed him on the forehead. He winced, remembering the knee jerk movement. Had he already crossed the line?
Once he was clean and the water no longer ran pink with the evidence of his nefarious activities, Carver shut off the water. He motioned for Gideon to follow him. The process of drying them off went quickly as Carver chanted in his head about maintaining his control.
With both of them in pajamas, he felt more at ease. That sense of calm left him the second his sweet boy ignored the cage to climb on the bed. He moved as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Carver went to sit on the floor beside the bed but stopped as a familiar whine rang out. Gideon eyed his movements, a dip in his brows suggesting he wasn’t happy with Carver’s choice.
“You have to tell me what you want,” Carver said carefully.
Gideon tapped the bed twice.
“You want me to lie there with you?”
He tapped it twice again.
Not needing any further encouragement, Carver climbed onto the bed. They both laid atop the comforter. Though the room was cool, neither seemed to mind it.
Carver slid one hand behind his head. The other remained on his stomach. He refused to reach out to the other side. Gideon would have to come to him should he desire any type of touch.
As if the boy could read his mind, Gideon slid over the bed to lay close to Carver. His head landed on the bent arm, and his nose pressed to the muscle there. Carver could feel how deep a breath he took.
When he sighed with a sound that felt like immense relief, Carver grinned. He liked knowing he brought Gideon peace. It was only fair given how much his sweet boy had given him.
Others might look at their time together and see Gideon as a burden. He was anything but.
Carver loved taking care of him. He wanted to provide for Gideon—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every minute since he’d found his sweet boy in the damp, darkened hallway had been a blessing.
“Sleep,” Carver whispered into the quiet of the room.
It wasn’t long after he felt Gideon go slack in his arms. All of the boy was aligned to his side. Carver wished he could wrap his arm around the young man. Holding him would make the moment even more perfect.
But fear of scaring Gideon was too much. What if he woke up and thought he was trapped again? Carver would never be the source of his discomfort.
Which is why, after several minutes of watching over the exhausted boy beside him, Carver fell into the deepest sleep he’d had in decades.
Carver woke up before his boy did. He wasn’t sure what had caused him to go from sleeping to wide awake in an instant. He only knew he wouldn’t miss the chance to see how Gideon reacted at their position.
Time passed slowly as Carver’s gaze trailed over Gideon. Sometime in the night, his boy had curled himself around Carver. He’d become attached to the other man like glue.
If it hadn't been for how well Gideon slept, Carver would have been laughing at how different it was from the wide-awake version. There was a comfort in knowing Gideon inherently trusted him though. His sleepy state knew he was with Carver and allowed himself to seek comfort in ways he normally wouldn’t.
What a gift.
As Carver thought over this, he felt slight movement from the boy on his chest. There was a second where Gideon tensed. Carver prepared himself for an outburst. He was ready to take whatever his boy threw at him.
But then Gideon took a deep breath and practically purred. He sank deeper into Carver’s chest, squeezing his side as he nuzzled against his shirt.
Carver wished he’d gone without it. He’d love to know what it felt like to have more than the small touches he’d gotten from his sweet boy.
Before he could let the thoughts run away from him, Gideon pushed up from Carver’s chest to look down at him. His eyes were brighter than usual. The corners of his mouth were slightly upturned. It was the closest to a smile Carver had ever seen.
His grew at the sight. “Good morning, sweet boy,” he rasped.
Gideon tapped his chest twice. It was his own form of reply. Sometimes he would go so far as to nod. That wasn’t always the case.
“We need to get up and get ready for the day. You need some food. And I need to check in on my men.”
With that, the pair rose from the bed. Gideon dressed in more of the comfy sweats the guys had gotten him.
These were more form fitting, though they still hung loose.
He’d gained a bit of weight since he’d arrived with the Angels.
Not enough to fill out all his outfits yet.
Carver had goals to get him as healthy as possible.
He wouldn’t stop until Doc told him Gideon was at optimal levels.
After Carver dressed as well, he moved to leave to get their food like usual. Only this time, he felt a tug on his hand. He looked over to see Gideon lacing their fingers together.
Carver nearly jolted at the touch. It was yet another step in a direction he didn’t know the result to.
“You want to go with me?”
Gideon squeezed his hand twice.
“There will be others here, sweet boy. Women too. I don’t want to upset you.”
To answer him, Gideon buried his face in Carver’s arm. He chuckled at the sight, which made the tiny smile Gideon wore grow.