Chapter 31
Thirty-One
Gideon sat in the passenger seat as Fury drove back to the club. He wasn't quite sure what to make of what he had just witnessed.
That was a lie.
He knew how what he had seen made him feel. Knew that Carver's strength and dedication to the club was exciting to watch. It made him feel more than he ever had.
His reaction to it all wasn’t only from the raw power that came with the violence. It was the passion Carver presented.
The big man believed the Angels were family. And for someone to hurt that family, to steal from them, was a crime punishable by a very, very painful looking death.
At first, Gideon wasn't sure if he should have been there. He had pulled on Fury's arm when Carver began speaking. The pair was tucked away in the back of the group in an effort to hide. They didn't want to distract Carver.
Fury said he knew that the boss would be upset with Gideon there, but that he needed to see this. His reasoning was because Fury knew Carver always worried people would see his darkness as a bad thing.
“Do you understand him better now?” Fury asked as he drove.
Gideon nodded, his eyes moving to look out of the window. They passed trees upon trees. He marveled at the varying shades of green. He didn't realize all of this was right outside of the club.
A part of him wanted to go exploring through them. He wanted to lay down beneath one and take a nap. To embrace nature.
Yet he didn't know how he could do such a thing. He would surely get lost if he ventured out on his own. And asking one of the Angels to guide him seemed silly.
They had better things to do.
He could ask Carver.
That required actually having a conversation with the other man. He still wasn't sure how to go about it all.
If he really looked deep down, he could admit to himself he did know. He just wasn’t brave enough.
Maybe it was time to channel all the courage he had into it. Talking to Carver would get him closer to what he truly wanted.
His cock strained against his pants at the thought of Carver's muscles flexing as he hurt that other man. He pictured the way the cleaver swung and how sweat dripped off Carver's brow. Gideon imagined other ways he could work up a sweat. His cheeks went pink.
Fury didn't say anything about it, though Gideon knew he must have seen the reactions. Instead, when they reached the club, Fury unlocked the entrance door and told Gideon he would see him later.
As Fury went to wherever he was going, Gideon rushed to his room. When he was inside, he sat on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes tight as he squeezed Carver's pillow to his chest.
The scent was almost faded, and he knew he had to switch them out. He needed that reminder of Carver being close, even if he wasn't quite sure how to talk to him otherwise.
As Gideon stood, he winced because his cock rubbed against the zipper of his pants. He'd only just started wearing jeans instead of sweatpants all the time. Royce had suggested them since apparently Gideon had a fabulous ass that deserved to be shown off.
There were also skirts and dresses, along with a few pairs of shorts that were much different than Gideon was used to. Royce had told him to try them out. If he hated them, he didn’t have to keep wearing them.
Royce had even gone so far as to send a care package after they left a little over a week ago. The box had been a treat for Gideon. He had never received a present like that, much less from someone that he admired.
Thinking of the clothes and of Carver's scent, he decided he needed to do what he could to fix how he was feeling. He needed relief.
First, he wanted to get the pillows swapped before Carver came back. They’d left in a rush. Gideon was sure they’d beaten the other Angels back.
Slipping from his room, Gideon went about exchanging the pillows as rapidly as possible. Once he tossed the other on the bed, he took the new one back into his room and closed the door. He took a big inhale of it, then eased it down onto the bed as he went to his closet.
He stripped out of his clothes right there in the open and pulled out one of the dresses. He had yet to try any of them on, worried it wouldn’t go how he thought.
Gideon wasn't sure exactly what it would be like to wear it.
He didn't know what it would feel like against his skin or how he would react.
He hadn't lied when he said that Royce's androgynous figure didn't bother him.
He had worked with Fury to separate what his former captor represented and what reality was.
Women were not all evil. They were not all out to hurt him. Until someone did make an attempt on his life, he needed to learn to trust that they didn't mean him harm. They were just people who happened to be near him. Some might even be his friends.
He still had a long way to go until that happened. In Gideon’s mind, wearing a dress felt a bit like getting there sooner. Or he was just obsessed with the pretty pastel blue fabric. The justification only had to make sense to him.
He didn't bother with underwear as he slid the dress over his body. As it fell down around him, he sighed. The soft fabric against his skin was a wonder.
He went into his bathroom to look in the mirror and gasped at the sight of himself. His cock was hard beneath the dress fabric, making the simple fabric a bit lewd. On top of that, Gideon could admit he looked gorgeous.
The bruises he’d arrived with had faded. And the injuries he had given himself were gone as well. The memories of them were still there, but they weren't visible anymore.
Instead, there was a yellow-haired man with wide, curious eyes and blushing cheeks wearing a baby blue dress, looking as if he needed someone to take care of the ache between his legs.
Gideon closed his eyes wishing Carver could be there to do it. He wanted the other man to relieve the pressure that had built.
As if he summoned him, there was a knock at the door and Carver’s voice calling out. “Sweet boy?”
Gideon squeaked, his wide eyes meeting himself in the mirror as he pondered how to quickly fix the issue. His body, despite the embarrassment of knowing Carver would see him, didn't go down. If anything, his cock was even harder.
"Are you okay in there?" Carver said, voice a little louder.
Gideon hummed, then forced his mouth to say, "Yes."
Carver called out, "Can I come in? Is that okay?"
Through the cracked door, Gideon whimpered. Carver must have heard him and assumed it was a positive noise because the door pushed open, and he came inside.
Their eyes met the second the door closed, and Carver's expression showed everything Gideon felt. Desire and need and amazement.
Carver took a few slow steps forward. "You look beautiful, sweet boy. That dress…” His eyes trailed down Gideon's figure.
Gideon saw the moment Carver realized Gideon's cock was hard. He stopped and swallowed as if to compose himself.
Gideon took the initiative that time. He came out of the bathroom to meet Carver.
Time for them to have that discussion.
If it weren't for his erection and the dress, he still knew that it was something that needed to happen. He’d put it off for far too long.
Gideon held his hand out to Carver. The other man paused for only a second before he laced their fingers together and stepped closer until he was almost touching Gideon.
"We need to talk," Gideon said.
Carver nodded, licking his lips as he stared down at Gideon. "I think that's a good idea. When do you want to talk?"
Gideon looked around, then back up at Carver and smiled. "Right now?"
Carver, who Gideon only just realized was freshly showered, led him over to the bed. They sat down side by side, hands still clasped together. Carver took their connection and held it on his leg, then placed his other hand over Gideon's.
"I'm listening. Tell me what you need to share. I'm all ears."
Gideon then took a deep breath, then let it out.
“You thought that she had hurt me the way she did the others, but she didn't. The game she played with me as her pet was that she would make me watch things. I had to watch other people be hurt. Sometimes it was about sex, and sometimes it was just violence.”
Gideon shivered at the thought. His cock started to go down as fast as it had risen. Talking about his past did that. He wouldn't have to worry about his arousal for much longer because he knew that it would completely evaporate as he continued the story.
He forged ahead, saying, "I was trapped in that room and in that collar and made to be a thing for her to entertain herself with.
The more scandalous she could make it, the better.
If I cried or threw up or flinched, she would just continue to do it until I became numb.
The reason I hurt myself when I got here was because I thought you were going to do the same thing or worse, but I know now that that's not how the Angels are.
I know now that this is a family, and I really want to be a part of it. I'm just not sure how."
Carver’s grip tightened around Gideon's. "What do you mean? What are you unsure of, sweet boy?"
Gideon dipped his head, no longer able to look Carver in the eye.
"I don't know what this means for you and me. I'm attracted to you, and I think you like me that way as well, but I don't know that I could give myself over that way. I watched people allow others to harm them every day, and to know that someone else had that power is terrifying."
Carver's hands went underneath Gideon's chin. He felt the man gently tilt his head up until they were looking one another in the eye.
Carver's gaze was fierce, and his voice was strong as he said, "I would never hurt you, sweet boy. I would walk away completely before that ever happened. And if you need me to prove that by letting you take full control, then I will."
Gideon wasn’t sure what to reply. He didn’t know what someone said to that kind of declaration.
It didn’t matter in the end because Carver moved until he was in front of Gideon and then dropped to his knees.
Gideon had flashbacks to the last time this same pose had happened.
He remembered vividly what it felt like to have Carver's full attention on him, to know he was doing that in front of the other men, that he showed how he wanted Gideon and didn't care who knew.
Carver kept his hands to himself this time, but his eyes spoke for his desire.
"I am yours to use as you want. You do not need to worry that I would take advantage because you're the one in control.
If you tell me to suck your cock, I will.
And if you want to pin me to the bed and fuck me, then you can.
I would never turn your touch away because I know that you'll never be forceful.
I know that you would never hurt me. And until you learn that I won't hurt you as well, I'm willing to give myself to you. "
Gideon's cock, which had completely flagged with all the negative discussion, rose quickly. His eyes dropped to that part of his body, watching with horror as Carver noticed it as well.
A part of Gideon wanted to test out Carver's words. He wanted to know just how true they were.
As usual, Carver understood what Gideon needed. Hell, he could practically read Gideon's mind.
He slowly raised his hands, hovering them in the air as he asked, "May I?"
Gideon nodded without much thought because the question alone proved who held the power here. If Carver was going to stay true to his word, Gideon needed to see exactly what it meant.
Carver lifted the fabric of the dress, raising it until Gideon's cock was visible. Gideon watched as he stared at the engorged shaft. Carver licked his lips, his fingers tightened on the fabric where he held it still at Gideon's waist.
"May I?" he rasped again before clearing his throat. "May I taste?"
Gideon placed his hands over Carver's, which drew the other man's attention up to him. "I would like to know what it feels like.”
Carver nodded, then leaned forward until his mouth was hovering just above Gideon's cock. He softly said, "Then I will show you," before his tongue came out and traced around the tip.
Gideon sucked in a breath. It was not at all what he imagined. It was better.
His excitement only grew as Carver went about tasting him.
He licked and sucked, nibbling upon the skin at Gideon's hip before pressing his tongue against it.
Then he trailed over to his length, pressing kisses up the shaft before hollowing out his cheeks.
He worked each inch eagerly, until Gideon was screaming in pleasure.
Only then did Carver pull back. His eyes were bright as he looked at Gideon. There was affection there. Gideon wished to see that same expression every day for the rest of his life.
His body was still curious, even though he was sated for the moment. He knew he’d want to repeat this experience again soon.
Gideon ran his fingers through Carver's hair, and the other man nearly preened at the touch. "You are a wonderful man," Gideon said.
Carver shook his head gently. "I'm only a reflection of you. Everything I do is for you now. I want to continue to provide those things and to be that person for you if you'll let me. We can take it as slow as you want. Today can be repeated as soon as you wish.”
Gideon smiled at the offer, leaning down. He waited until Carver was looking at him, until he was a breath away from Carver's lips before he said, "I will want to do it again." He pressed a quick kiss to Carver's lips before pulling back. “Can we try another new thing now?”