Chapter Three
Cash
I wasn’t on time for the second appointment either. Though I did show up earlier. Thirty minutes into my allotted time, I knocked on Haizley’s door.
When she opened the door, I winced. Her black eyes looked worse.
“I know, I look awful. I canceled my online sessions for now but figured you and Amber see me every day. Plus, you already know what happened.”
I was an asshole. Given what she had been through, I should have been here on time. I hoped like hell Gunner understood how strong his woman was.
Haizley didn’t wait for me to sit. She moved to the couch and got comfortable. Pulling out her phone, she started reading. Leaving me standing in the middle of the room.
I sat in the same chair as last time and looked around the room. Nothing had changed, except the missing rug that Greg Williams had bled on when Haizley stabbed him in the neck as he attacked her.
“How are you?”
She looked up from her phone. “I’m ok,” she answered, then focused on her phone again. I watched her and knew she wasn’t reading. She was thinking about what happened.
She bit into her lip, and her hand trembled ever so slightly when she tried to swipe the page.
“I was adopted,” I blurted out.
Her hands dropped to her lap, and she looked up at me. Surprise on her face. Her fear forgotten. “I didn’t know that.”
“No one does. Not even King. Hell, Nav might know. But he’s never said anything.”
“Have you always known?”
I shook my head and looked away into the kitchen. “My parents told me when I was fifteen.”
“How did you feel when you learned your mom didn’t give birth to you?”
I shrugged. “It didn’t change anything.”
“Was it meant to?”
I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees and my hands clasped together. “I was a punk kid. Moody, rebellious. I think they thought it was the answer to my shit attitude.”
“Was it?”
My eyes sought hers, and I wondered where she was going. “There was no answer. All teenage boys are assholes.”
“You have a point there.” She chuckled, and it made me smile.
I didn’t smile much these days. Wasn’t much to smile about.
“I guess you want to talk about Rachel,” I said, my gaze focused on the floor under my feet.
“We can talk about whatever you want.”
“Did you know her?” I asked, looking up.
“I did. Rachel was one of the sweetest girls I knew. She was two years behind me in school.”
“Do you remember her mom?”
“I do. Louise Masters was a woman unto herself. I have never met another person as loving and trusting and supportive as Louise was. Not just of Rachel, but all of them. All of us. She was very well loved in town, and her death, much like Rachel’s, affected everyone in Diamond Creek.
I was away at school when she passed. I left not long after Blade ‘died’ .
” She held her hands up, making finger quotes when she talked about Blade.
“We moved in not long after she lost her mom. We’d only been here a few months when we got together.”
I stood and walked to the window. It felt good to talk about Rachel, but it fucking hurt, too. Haizley was quiet behind me, and I knew what she was doing. It was a common tactic when you wanted someone to talk. Stay silent and eventually they would talk.
“We both thought it was meant to be a one-night stand.”
“But it wasn’t.”
“No.”
King and I rode down main street with Blade. We made our presence known as soon as we got into town after the clubhouse was built.
We stopped at the diner and backed our bikes into the spaces. I swung my leg over and walked to the door, leaving the two of them to argue over some bullshit.
I wasn’t sure they realized how alike they were sometimes. We’d only known Blade a couple of years. He’d saved Jack’s life at a bar one night and subsequently, Jack pulled him into the club.
King knew we wouldn’t get Jack to leave Arkansas if Blade didn’t come with us, and once he told us about Diamond Creek, we knew he would be a great addition.
I opened the door and a woman came tumbling out. As I caught her in my arms, that first look into her eyes had me mesmerized.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Her smile hit something inside me. Brightened up a dark corner.
“My pleasure,” I said, smiling at her while my hands still held onto her.
King and Blade walked up, and Rachel focused on Blade, scrunching her eyes. He quickly moved inside without a hello, and her eyes followed him. I thought that was it. But when she turned back to me, it was a flash of confusion I saw on her face that quickly turned to lust as she settled back on me.
“You thought she was interested in Blade?”
“At first, yea. But once she started coming around the clubhouse, she confronted him, and I realized what had happened. She’d recognized him right off the bat.”
I turned around, giving Haizley my attention. “Rachel was fucking smart. Nothing got past her, and she never let any of the guys get away with shit. She made a great first lady.”
“But she wasn’t the first lady, right?” She quickly added, “Gunner and the girls have been giving me lessons in MC etiquette.”
“No, she wasn’t the first lady, but King didn’t have an old lady. The VP’s old lady takes the top spot until the prez claims someone.”
“That makes sense.” Haizley looked at her phone. “I’m sorry. That’s all the time we have for today. You still want to meet twice a week?”
I thought about it for a moment, then nodded. Telling myself I was helping Haizley to keep her mind off what happened. I wasn’t ready to admit that talking helped.
I skipped my next appointment. And the one after that. Haizley hadn’t told King about the missed appointments, and I had to wonder why.
A lot of shit had happened since that last appointment when I talked about Rachel. Gunner’s sister, Mellie, showed up with Pippen and Sypher’s kid. Ghost left the club, well threatened to anyway. Took off his cut and left it in church.
When he asked me if I would give up the club for Rachel, I didn’t hesitate to say no. The answer would have been the same even before she died. Maybe she was right. Maybe I didn’t love her the way I should have.
Instead of seeing Haizley, I went for a ride. I needed to clear my head. Nothing cleared out the cobwebs like a ride. My bike thrummed beneath me as I cruised through town. When I got out on the interstate, I opened her up.
Instead of talking, I spent the hour thinking.
I rode up the path to Lookout Mountain. Rachel had shown it to me.
She and the others used to come up here to get away when they were kids.
I hadn’t been up here since she died. It was another one of those places I had a hard time facing.
I sat on my bike and watched the town below.
It was peaceful here.
Quiet.
Blade knew what he was doing when he suggested Diamond Creek. The open roads were made for riding. And the mountains were made for thinking.
Rachel’s birthday had just passed. I spent the day drunk. I had planned to finally propose after five years of being together.
I assumed she would have said yes. But maybe she wouldn’t. She never pestered me about getting married. Never brought it up. And I never gave it much thought.
Figured she was just happy with the way things were.
Now I knew why. It wasn’t because she was happy just being my old lady. She knew she wouldn’t be here.
“Fuck you, Rachel,” I mumbled. “Fuck you for not telling me. And fuck you for not trusting me.”
I swung my leg over my bike and walked to the edge. The drop was steep. No one would survive a drop like that. But then no one other than the club really knew about this place.
I wasn’t suicidal. I never considered throwing myself over the edge in grief. My mind just always wondered, what if?
Grief was a funny thing. When the doctor came out and told me she was gone, I thought my life had ended. I didn’t know how I would go on without her. And then he said Ryder was her fucking next of kin.
I was her old man, dammit! He was no one.
He was her family.
“I was your fucking family!” I shouted.
Were you?
I crouched down and held my head in my hands. I wanted to kick his ass.
It wasn’t his fault.
“Ryder should have known. If he was so fucking important to you, then he should have known something was fucking wrong.”
I heard the rumble of a bike and wondered who had followed me. Fucking prospects. I didn’t stand or look behind me. I stayed crouched on the edge of the mountain; my eyes focused on the horizon in front of me.
When the engine cut, I stood ready to cuss out whoever had followed me up here. I wanted to be alone.
When I turned around, my eyes went wide. Parked on the grass was a Softail Deluxe and it was fucking purple. Sitting on the bike was a kid with pink hair and tattoos.
She didn’t look old enough to be out on her own, let alone riding a Harley.
“Your mother know you’re out here alone?”
“My mother left me when I was ten years old. So no, she doesn’t know where the fuck I am.”
“Sorry.”
“Fuck off, Boomer.”
“I ain’t no fucking Boomer, kid,” I sneered, making my way toward her.
“And I ain’t no fucking kid.”
I didn’t have time for this bullshit. My phone rang, and looking at the screen, I saw King’s name.
“Yea?”
“You gonna be home soon?”
“Yeah,” I answered, my eyes never leaving the girl. She glared back at me, and I couldn’t help but wonder how old she was. She was fucking small for not being a kid.
“Ok. We’ve got church. Want to make sure you’re here.”
“Have I ever fucking missed it before?”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“Then don’t fucking question me.”
“What crawled up your ass?”
I could ask him the same thing, but I knew what it was. Or rather, who. I blew out a breath and ran a hand through my hair. “Nothing. Just been a shit day.”
He was quiet for a minute and then asked, “You met with Haizley today, right?”
“Yea.” I swung my leg over and sat on my bike but didn’t start her up right away. Just sat there waiting for him to call me out on my bullshit.
“Ok, brother. I’ll see you when you get back.” The understanding in his tone pissed me off for two reasons. One, I didn’t need his fucking pity. And two, I just fucking lied to my president.
I slid my phone into my cut pocket when she asked, “You in that club in town?” She sounded closer than I expected, and when I glanced over my shoulder, she stood behind me, arms crossed over her chest, staring at my cut.
I looked her over. She might have been small, but up close, I could see that she wasn’t as young as I thought. The way her hips flared and her tits rounded out told me she definitely was not a kid.
“Yea.” I twisted the key and my bike roared to life, drowning out anything else she might have said.
I flew down the mountain, faster than I should have. It felt a little like I needed to get away from the sexy little pixie. There was something about her that made my dick take notice.
Not that he was picky lately.
Ever since I read the letter Rachel left me, I’d been fucking anything with a willing pussy. But she was too fucking young for me.
At least that was what I kept telling myself on the way back to the clubhouse.