Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kytten
My brother held my hand as we left church. When we walked out to the main room, I was reminded it was our birthday.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
“I’m sorry I ruined your party.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. Best birthday present ever,” he declared as he hugged me again. He kept me close, as if he was afraid I might slip away.
I felt the same about him. He held my hand in his, and I held his wrist with the other. I wasn’t letting him go.
“Kytten, are you ok?” Ellie asked. Ryder stood behind her, watching me.
I looked at Thorne and smiled. A real genuine smile that made me feel joy. But it didn’t last. The monsters stirred, and I scratched at my leg. “I’m ok.”
“I’m sorry to cut the party short, but I need to steal these two away,” Dr. Jefferson said. I squeezed Thorne’s hand, and he squeezed back.
“Momma comes too,” he said, and I looked at Sam.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “I can wait here and we can talk later.”
“No.” He shook his head and reached for her hand. I frowned. I didn’t like him calling someone else mom. She wasn’t his mom.
You have Val.
But I didn’t call her mom. I called her Val. She may have acted as a mom, but she wasn’t my mom. She was Amber’s mom.
I scratched a little harder. Looking over my shoulder at the church doors, I winced. I needed Cash. He kept the monsters quiet. Right now, they were trying to wake up and I didn’t want to hear them.
“Melissa, if you need me let me know,” Haizley said. We didn’t need her. She was Cash’s shrink. I didn’t want her in my head and telling Cash what she found. He couldn’t know about the monsters. He wouldn’t want me if he knew how broken I was.
How will you keep it from him?
As soon as he sees your legs, he’ll know.
I scratched harder.
My fingers dipped under the frayed edge of the tear in my jeans. The holes were big enough to show off my tattoos, but you had to get close to see the scars. No one ever got close enough. No one that mattered anyway.
We followed Dr. Jefferson to one of the rooms. It was Thorne’s. The emptiness of it tore at my heart. There was a bed and a dresser. But nothing on the walls. No personal effects anywhere.
Was he as lonely as I was?
I scratched harder.
“Have a seat, you two.” Thorne and I sat on the bed, and Sam stood by the door, one hand on her belly, the other on her back.
“You should sit down, Sam.”
“I’m good, Kytten. I sit a lot so I like to stand as much as I can. But thank you for thinking about me.”
I smiled and hung my head. I don’t know why her words made me feel shy. Maybe because she was important to my brother. Did he really need me with all these people in his life? Had he replaced me too?
I scratched harder. Both hands digging in the denim covering my legs.
“I’m pretty new here. So why don’t you two share your story with me?” Dr. Jefferson asked. Her eyes kept darting to my hand, and I had to pull it back.
“There’s not much to tell. Our mother left us when we were ten. She walked out the door and never came back,” Thorne said.
“Did she say anything when she left?” Dr. Jefferson asked.
“Yea, she lied.” His eyes cut to Sam and then back, when Sam smiled warmly at him.
“She didn’t lie, Thorne.” Why did he keep saying that? She was protecting us.
“What did she lie about?” Dr. Jefferson asked him.
“She said she had to go out. That we couldn’t go because it wasn’t safe. She lied. She didn’t want us anymore.”
I jumped from the bed. “That’s not true!” I cried. My hand went to my leg, but when I saw Dr. Jefferson looking at it, I put it in my back pocket.
“It is true. I saw her leave with that guy. She walked out the front door and never looked back.”
“What guy, Mimic?” Dr. Jefferson asked.
“I don’t know. I think he was her boyfriend. Every time he came around, she made us hide. She didn’t want him to know she had kids.”
Sam was quiet by the door. Dr. Jefferson didn’t speak either. I stared at my brother with my mouth open.
“She didn’t have a boyfriend,” I argued.
“She did. I saw them.”
I glared at my brother. He was wrong. She was protecting us.
“Is it possible you misunderstood, Mimic?” she asked him
“No. She kissed him.”
“NO, SHE DIDN’T!” I screamed. My hands scratched at my legs.
Sam slipped out of the room, and Dr. Jefferson walked over to me. “Kytten, are you ok?” She looked at my hands.
No, I wasn’t ok. The monsters were screaming and I couldn’t make them stop. It was so loud inside my head I couldn’t concentrate.
Thorne watched me, confused. I was confused too. My mom didn’t have a boyfriend. He didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t see how scared she was.
“Rosebud, I’m sorry. I saw them.”
I could feel the fury building inside me. Why was he lying? Why would he say awful things about our mother? She didn’t leave us. She wanted us. She told us every day about how much she wanted us. How much she loved us. How much she loved being our mom.
The door slammed open, and Cash stood there. I ran to him and threw my arms around him. “He’s lying, Cash,” I cried. “He’s lying.”
“It’s ok, baby. It’s ok.” He rubbed my back and held me as the monsters’ roars subsided. “That’s enough for tonight,” he said.
“She’s my sister,” Thorne growled.
“She’s my old lady,” Cash growled back. He lifted me in his arms and walked out of the room. He jogged up a set of stairs with my face buried in his neck.
I didn’t care where he was taking me as long as he stayed with me. He kept the monsters quiet. Inside the new room, he laid me on the bed. I thought he was leaving me, but he walked to the other side and got on the bed behind me, turning me to his chest.
“Why is he lying, Cash? Why would he say those things about my mom?”
“What did he say, baby?”
I looked up at him, tears streaming down my face. “He said she didn’t want us. That she had a boyfriend, and she left us to be with him. It’s not true. He wasn’t her boyfriend. She was afraid of him. She was protecting us.”
“Shhh, baby, calm down. Take a breath.” He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head. The screams were so quiet now. “We’ll figure it out,” he mumbled as I drifted off to sleep.
I woke with a start. Sitting up in bed, I looked around the room, unsure where I was at first. I fell back against the pillows when it all came crashing back.
Finding my brother.
Talking to Dr. Jefferson.
Thorne lying about our mom.
Cash holding me while I cried until I fell asleep.
I looked at the empty space next to me. He wasn’t here, but I knew this was his room. My bag was on the dresser, and I looked longingly at the bathroom door.
Did I have enough time to shower and dress before he got back?
You can’t hide from him forever.
Not if you want a life with him.
I listened for sounds outside the door. I vaguely remembered walking up a flight of stairs to Thorne’s room and Cash carrying me up another set of stairs to get to his.
I felt the sheets beside me and they were still warm. That meant he hadn’t left that long ago. He might have gotten a call from King, or maybe he went to get coffee. Either way, he had to travel down two flights of stairs and back up before he would get back.
I was confident I could shower in that amount of time and be dressed before he returned.
The warm water washed over me as I quickly showered. I had just stepped out of the bathroom, realizing I forgot to bring my clothes with me, wrapped in nothing but a towel, when Cash entered the room with two coffees in his hands.
“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he growled. He set the coffee cups on the dresser and stalked over to me. I stood frozen in fear as he reached me. The towel, which hung to my knees due to my small stature, was my only defense.
His hands cradled my face, and his lips pressed to mine. Every thought in my head flew away as he tasted me. His tongue licked at my lips, coaxing me to open for him, and I was powerless to stop my body from reacting.
His hands moved to my shoulders, and I shivered. A visceral reaction to my fear of discovery that he took as arousal. I wouldn’t lie; I was fucking aroused. Every time his lips were on mine, I got lost in him.
Usually, I had clothes on and could let my defenses down just a little. But here in this room, with nothing but a towel hiding my shame, I pulled back.
He didn’t scowl or try to pressure me. He just smiled that grin that I knew would melt the panties off a nun, then sat on the bed and pulled me to stand between his legs.
“I want you, Rosie. I want to strip this towel off you and study your body. I want to run my tongue over every tattoo you have hidden under the clothes you wear.”
My eyes closed at the idea of giving myself to him. His words, while dirty, were also a caress.
He wanted me.
I wanted to surrender to him. Let him have me completely, but at what cost? His lips tracked a path from my neck to my bare shoulder, while his hands rested on my ass. He squeezed my cheeks but never lifted the towel.
Maybe I could hold him off. Maybe I could straddle him and keep his hands from wandering. On the mountain, he took me from behind. I just needed to keep his hands from roaming.
“Lie back,” I commanded. The scars were hidden. As long as he didn’t touch, he would never know they were there. When he didn’t move, I stepped back and pulled the towel from my body.
“Jesus Christ.”
His whispered curse electrified me. His eyes roamed over me, taking me in. When they lingered a little too long on the vine tattoo, I laid a hand on his chest and pushed him back, before crawling over him.
I sat on his legs and reached for his belt. When his hands reached for my hips, I grabbed them. Pushing them over his head to rest on the bed, my mind was focused on keeping his hands off me. I hadn’t given much thought to the way my body would hover over his.
His head lifted and sucked a nipple into his mouth with a groan.
“Fuck,” I cursed. He moved faster than I gave him credit for and a moment later, he had me under him on the bed. My own hands locked above my head the way I’d tried to lock his. He held me there as he hovered over me, looking into my eyes for any protest.
I was weak when it came to this man. I wrapped my legs around his hips and lifted against him. His mouth latched on to my nipple once again and he sucked, causing my back to arch into him.
My fears and insecurities were quickly forgotten as he plunged two fingers into my soaking wet pussy.
“Jesus, Rose, you’re so fucking wet.” His lips trailed over my rib cage.
I was lost in the feeling of his mouth on my skin.
His fingers in my cunt. When he pulled back, he reached for my knees and opened me up to him.
He leaned down and his tongue swiped through the wetness, lapping it up like he was starving.
But when his hands slid down my thighs from my knees, I suddenly remembered why I hadn’t wanted to give in.