Chapter 19 Cece
Chapter nineteen
Cece
Iwake before Cash. We didn’t talk much after coming into the bedroom.
It was just more of me explaining why I need to be here and trying to get him to understand.
I don’t know if he really does. I honestly don’t think he can.
Me being here goes against everything inside him that screams he needs to protect me.
Part of me feels bad for putting him in this situation.
I don’t want him scared. But the bigger part is determined to see this through, consequences be damned.
There’s something to be said for the notion that it’s better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
Cash is facing me as I stare at him while he sleeps.
His face is serene. I want to trace my fingers over his brow and down his cheek.
Feel the smooth skin of his face. Then he opens his eyes.
At first, there’s a small smile on his lips when he sees me.
But then I watch as it registers where we are, and his smile fades, his eyes shuttering.
“You’re still angry with me,” I state. It’s not a question, because I know the answer.
He sits up and scrubs a hand over his face. “Not as mad as I was earlier, but yeah. I’m still upset.”
I sit up as well and lean against the wall. “I can’t keep explaining why I’m here. I don’t think it will make a difference. All I can do is apologize again for misleading you.”
“I know. And honestly, I respect you for what you’re doing. I hate it, and I’m pissed because I don’t want you in harm’s way, but I respect your determination. And that’s kind of fucking with my head right now.”
“I am a multifaceted woman,” I say, smiling to myself, remembering when I spoke those words to Roman.
“That you are, sweetheart.” Cash turns and looks at me.
Really looks at me, as though he needs to make sure I hear and understand what he says next.
“You have to stay in the van, Cece. I hate you going, and I really wish you would just agree to stay here until we get back. But you’ve come this far, and I would rather not hold you prisoner.
I don’t think I could live with myself, even if my head is telling me to damn the consequences. ”
“I know the feeling.”
He shakes his head. “Please. Promise me—in clear, concise words—that you won’t get out of the van tonight.”
“I promise you I won’t get out of the van tonight,” I reply, imploring him to see the honesty in my eyes.
His eyes close as he takes a calming breath. “Thank you.”
We venture out into the house where most of the guys are sitting around on the couches or chairs in the kitchen.
“Where’s Sawyer?” Cash asks the room.
“Making sure all the comms are working properly and double-checking some satellite footage to make sure nothing has changed since he last took a look,” Liam answers.
“It’s his own little routine he does before every mission.
Not that I would ever complain about my men being overprepared.
” He looks at me and arches a brow. “Having you tag along sure is a surprise, though.”
“One that you signed off on,” Cash mumbles.
Liam smirks. “I didn’t say it was a bad one.”
My eyes wander around the room, and I don’t see Jude.
“Where’s your brother?” I ask Liam.
“Outside having a smoke,” he answers, tilting his head toward the front door.
I nod and make my way outside, following the trail of smoke around the corner of the house.
Jude has a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other, staring at the screen.
“How mad is she?” I ask, walking over to him.
He looks up and shakes his head. “Fucking fuming. Threatened to charter a plane herself to come take your arse back to Shine.”
“And how mad are you?”
He narrows his eyes and looks toward the vast desert, silent for a few moments as he considers his next words.
“We live a violent life. Lord knows your sister isn’t immune to it.
” He looks at me. “Did I ever tell you about the first time I saw her shoot a man? Or, I should say, he was dead when I got there, but it was Lucy who put him to ground.”
“I didn’t know there was more than Otto,” I reply, a little taken aback by this new information.
“When I saw how hard she fought back against those fucking assholes, I think I fell a little in love with her on the spot.” He grins.
Only Jude would fall for someone after he cleaned up the murder scene.
“She’s never shied away from violence. From protecting herself and the people she loves.
But she never wanted you to be involved like you are right now. ”
“That’s why she was pissed when she found out about me and Cash.”
Jude shakes his head. “It’s not just the fact that you’re with a brother, it’s the fact that she can’t protect you.
That she feels like she failed you.” Jude takes a drag from his cigarette then throws it to the ground and stomps it out.
“I love you like family, Little Bit. But you’re putting my woman and my brother through hell.
I’ll protect you with my life, because that’s what we do for family, but you need to stop this bullshit.
If your man tells you to stay behind, you stay behind.
If your sister is pissed that you keep things from her, then stop keeping things from her.
No one here is the enemy. No one wants to control you.
But you need to stop putting yourself in risky situations without caring about the fact that it would destroy the people we both love if something happened to you that you didn’t come back from. For everyone’s sanity.”
His brows are raised, waiting for me to say something.
“You’re right.”
“Of course I am,” he quips, and I roll my eyes.
“I’m not sorry that I’m here though, Jude. I’m sorry that I did it in a deceitful way. But I’m not sorry that I get to see Red take his last breath.”
“I know. Which is why I’m going along with this crazy plan. You deserve that, Little Bit. I won’t be the one to deny you.”
“Thank you,” I say. “And thank you for talking Lucy out of flying here.”
“Well, all I did was refuse to give her the coordinates. Can’t charter a plane without knowing where you’re going. I fully expect to pay for it when I get home.”
“Sorry about that.”
He shrugs. “Your sister likes to argue. I like to make up. It works for us.”
I eye him with skepticism. “You guys have a weird relationship.”
“You aren’t the first to point that out and probably won’t be the last,” he says with a wide grin and walks back toward the front of the house.
Night has fallen, and it’s time to head to the Bone Breakers clubhouse. Nerves dance through my stomach as we drive out to the middle of the desert, where Sawyer has designated the drop spot.
“Okay, everyone, let’s test the comms again,” Sawyer says.
“We tested them not even two hours ago,” Jude grouses.
“I don’t give a shit. The man says do it again, we do it again,” Ozzy says, quieting the complaints that anyone else might have.
Liam’s team, along with all of the brothers, places the comms in their ears, and I do the same. A round of checks comes through the tiny earpiece, and Sawyer nods.
“Everyone clear on the plan?” Liam asks, his gaze traveling over each brother and his team as they nod in confirmation. “What about you, Little Bit?”
“Stay in the van,” I reply.
“No matter what you hear through the comms?” he questions for clarification.
I nod.
“Words, please,” Liam tells me. “You seem to be in the habit of making people think you agree with something without actually vocalizing your agreement, and then you use that as some sort of loophole.” He arches a brow and shoots me a knowing smirk.
“No matter what I hear through the comms, I swear, I won’t get out of the van,” I confirm.
“Thank you,” Liam replies.
“Okay, brothers. Time to blow some shit up,” Ozzy says and heads to the side-by-side he’ll be taking along with Knox, Linc, and Cash.
Cash walks over to me and cups my cheeks in his warm palms. “I love you.”
These nerves are really playing with my emotions because it takes everything in me not to break down in tears right now. His anger from earlier is gone, and the only thing shining in his blue eyes is love.
“I love you, too. I’ll be right here when you get back,” I whisper, and he bends, giving me a firm kiss on the mouth.
When he breaks the kiss, he presses his forehead against mine for a moment before he turns and heads toward the side-by-side, holding on to the roll bar as Ozzy drives away. Two more side-by-sides drive past me, then the four ATVs quietly move to follow.
Then I’m alone next to a van in the middle of the desert, waiting for the man I love more than anything in this world to return with the one I hate. The one I’m here to see die.
It takes less than three minutes before I hear Ozzy quietly come across the comm in my ear.
“Clubhouse is in view. Everyone, take your positions.”
Another minute passes.
I hear Braxton through the comms. “Cruiser two in position.”
The rest of the men in the side-by-sides and the ATVs all check in and confirm that they’re in position.
“Abel,” I hear Liam say. “If you will.”
Moments later, there’s a loud bang and a flash of light in the distance.
“Door’s gone. Let’s go,” Abel confirms.
The noise of gunshots and screams comes through the comms. Someone who isn’t one of the Black Roses, or with Liam, yells, “We’re under attack!”
My heart beats wildly in my chest as I stare toward where I saw the flash of the explosion. More gunshots, more screaming and yelling. It seems to go on for hours, but in reality, it isn’t more than a few minutes.
Then it’s quiet.
“Everyone check in,” Ozzy says, his voice sounding out of breath.
I hear Jude first. “Two down. Linc and I are whole.”
Abel, Hendrix, Liam, and Sawyer are next, confirming their kills and their safety.
When I hear Cash’s voice, tears spring to my eyes. “I got two in the head. I’m whole.” I let out a choked sob of relief. “Who has eyes on Red?”