Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
“Left hand up on my shoulder,” Cash commanded.
What the hell was I thinking saying yes?
I wasn’t, that was my problem. All it had taken was being on the receiving end of Cash’s intensity and I’d caved.
Thankfully, I’d managed not to beg. So far at least, but the longer he kept up his maddeningly soft touch—a barely there skim over the swell of my breast—the more I feared I was going to break down and plead for more.
And the fuck of it was, he knew exactly what he was doing.
Yet, like a sex-starved fiend looking for a treat, I did as he asked.
“Use your right hand to undo your jeans.”
I fought back a shiver, but when his hand cupped my breast and his thumb circled my nipple, I lost the battle.
“Consider this your last warning.” The gravel in his tone made my pussy clench.
“For every second you delay following an order, is time I add delaying giving you what you need. I told you we could play this game all night. But I promise you, I’ll win.
And when I claim my victory it’ll be with you sobbing and begging for release. ”
His promise touched a deep dark place inside of me that I’d never admit I had. The one that Cash had homed in on like he instinctively knew it was there. The place I denied with savage defenses.
“You could—”
A swift tug of my hair shut me up, but worse, the moan I couldn’t control slipped past my lips, drawing a smile from Cash.
“Your input is no longer needed, Stella. I give an order. You obey. You reap the reward.”
Obey.
I yanked my head forward, causing pain to spread over my scalp. “I don’t obey anyone,” I spat. “Especially a man.”
That beautiful smile turned lethal. “You’ll obey me, baby girl.”
Before I had a chance to tell him that was never going to happen, he pinched my nipple until another uncontrollable groan became audible. He stopped increasing the pressure and held the pain exactly where I needed—not too much, just right.
“Unbutton your pants.”
Like an idiot I followed his order. I did so glaring at him, which did nothing but make his smile deepen.
“If I remember correctly, and I know I do because every second is burned into my brain, you like the bite of pain. I didn’t get to test how far I could take you. How about we do that now?”
He didn’t wait for my answer before he twisted my nipple. However, it wasn’t the delicate dance between pain and pleasure I was concentrating on. I was captivated by the way Cash was watching me—full of intent, waiting for my reaction like he craved my reaction to sadism.
“How wet are you for me, baby girl?” he growled. I blinked, his voice pulling me back into my body. “Fucking gorgeous.”
Suddenly his hand in my hair was gone. He shifted his hips back and his hand went down the front of my jeans. No finesse. Just straight in under my panties, not stopping until two fingers invaded and the heel of his palm was over my clit.
“Widen your legs.”
I obeyed.
Then I claimed my reward when his fingers curled up and he stroked. Cash claimed his when I moaned.
“Fucking drenched.”
As another reward, he twisted my nipple harder.
“I was gonna make you wait, make you beg.” The heel of his palm pressed harder as he angled his fingers deeper. “But since you’re being such a good girl, I think you deserve a freebie.”
I didn’t know what a freebie was, but my pussy clenched around his fingers.
This was going to go embarrassingly fast if he didn’t stop the friction at my clit and he needed to stop talking. I was pretty sure I could orgasm on command if it was Cash’s deep voice commanding it.
“Cash,” I whimpered.
“Put your lips on mine. I wanna feel those sweet moans against my mouth while I fuck my greedy pussy.”
I didn’t argue his ownership.
I obeyed, coming up on my toes when he simultaneously tweaked my nipple and fucked me harder with his fingers.
I forgot myself. I forget who I was and where I was. I forgot everything except what Cash had turned me into—and it was a what, not a who. I was reduced to nothing but feel—no thoughts, no outside world, no worries, no Lore, no Stella. Just Cash and feel and what he was doing.
Nothing else mattered.
Not here, where he commanded and I obeyed.
I was free.
Mind. Body. Soul.
“You’re gonna come for me,” he demanded and as I suspected, my pussy submitted to his order. “Yeah, baby, I feel it. Give it to me, Stella. Give me what’s mine.”
My legs shook, my body swayed, and euphoria took over, splintering me apart.
I was swimming back up from pleasure so intense I wondered if I’d blacked out.
That had to be the only excuse as to why Cash’s hand was no longer on my breast but wrapped around me, and his mouth was on mine, taking it in a deep kiss that left me no other choice but to sink into it.
But this kiss was different, it wasn’t a plundering like last night’s, meant as a show of possessiveness.
This one was softer, intimate, a sign of ownership.
Funny how he warned he’d claim his victory yet this kiss tasted like I’d won.
And that scared the shit out of me.
He ended the kiss by licking my bottom lip.
So very Cash.
I opened my eyes and found he was already watching me.
Rapt.
That was the only word I could think of to describe the way he was staring at me.
And that scared the shit out of me, too.
“Before you pull those shields back up you need to understand I meant what I said.”
Those shields he mentioned were already on the rise.
“Meant what?” I asked.
“All of it.” To punctuate his meaning, he twisted his fingers still inside me. “This is mine. I won’t give you up. I won’t let you take yourself away from me. I’ll chase you down.” He pulled his fingers free.
He used my gasp to his advantage and brought his hand up and painted my release on my lips before he licked it off. “Those are mine. Mouth and orgasm, I own both.”
Cash dropped his hand and pressed his palm over the left side of my chest. “This is mine.”
The area under his palm started thumping so fast I was in danger of passing out.
“And this…” he leaned forward and brushed his lips over my temple. “Is mine.”
Fear saturated.
“Scared?” he had the nerve to ask.
Bastard.
I clamped my mouth shut and worked on erecting those walls that were failing me.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” he whispered. “So am I. Scared out of my skull. But I’m more afraid of losing you. All I need you to do is stick with me and I’ll see us through.”
Stick with him.
Stick.
I didn’t know how.
But I was starting to think that for Cash, I would learn.
And that was my most terrifying thought ever.
Scarier than agreeing to be Cara’s Godmother. More frightening than when the worst happened and I had to step up and become the guardian of a six-year-old.
I’d gone from a woman with nothing to lose, to someone with everything to lose when Cara came into my life. Add in Cash and everything grew exponentially.
“I can’t—”
“You can. We can. Together we’re stronger than any fear. Together we can break the cycle. Together we can learn how to love. Together we can teach Cara.”
Together.
We.
My brain was screaming to shove him away and say no.
My heart was telling me none of this was real—I was unlovable, incapable of giving it.
But my soul was keening—wailing actually—bawling and howling for me to reach out and take what Cash was offering.
Yearning to belong to him, to a family, to be safe.
“I…” My denial died in my throat. “I…” The second time I tried, the lie wouldn’t roll off my tongue.
“Shh,” he gently quieted me. “You don’t have to say or do anything. I’ve got this.”
He had this.
Cash did.
Since I was powerless to speak, I nodded.
“Time to sleep, baby girl. You’ve got the bed. I’m taking the couch.”
There were two other rooms in the house with beds. Cash was taking the couch so he’d be closest to the doors—front and back.
Protecting us.
Penny flashed into my mind. Who was protecting her?
The woman wasn’t my most favorite person ever.
I mostly found her annoying, but she was Cash’s sister.
And the reasons I’d found her annoying stemmed from knowing she had the power to hurt Cash.
Now the damage was done, I was holding onto the grudge like a security blanket.
Someone to blame for taking Cash away from me.
It wasn’t fair. Especially now.
“Cash, I really think we need to talk about Penny.”
“We have talked about her,” he noted. “We also came to the decision that I’m staying here, and Zane and my team will look after her.”
No, we didn’t come to that decision, he did.
“I’m not comfortable with that decision. You know I can take care of me and Cara if something happens. Penny needs you.”
Cash was silent for a moment, which I took as him mulling over what I said.
He was, but not in the way I’d hoped.
“Today, while I was sitting on my couch reading a book to Cara and my woman was sitting at the table on her laptop, my house, our house, was riddled with bullets. Not because someone’s after you, but because they’re after Penny.
I’m not going as far as blaming my sister for putting my family in danger.
That shit is on the shoulders of the asshole who ordered the hit.
And trust me, when we find out who that is, they’re gonna pay.
In the meantime, while my team is searching, I’m staying with my family. ”
“Cash—”
“There are two things that I don’t trust Zane to take care of; those are you and Cara and only because I’m standing right here to do it myself.
With everything else, I trust him. Everything.
If he says he’s using all of his resources to find Penny, he’s using all of his resources.
Not only is she my blood, but she works for him.
Which means, in his mind, Penny is his responsibility.
My job right now is to be here in the morning when Cara wakes up.
Proving to her I keep my promises. My other job is to prove to you, you can trust me.
That’s it. I know you can protect yourself, and Cara, and me.
I haven’t missed that you’re strong and capable.
Trust me, Stella, there’s no way I can miss it.
It’s sexy as fuck-all and a total turn on. ”
I rolled my eyes.
“Oh, sweetheart.” He switched gears on a dime and drawled. “If Cara wasn’t sleeping down the hall, those jeans would be around your ankles, your ass would be a pretty pink, you’d be stuffed full of my cock, and your pretty eyes would really roll.”
My traitorous body quivered.
Cash smiled.
“You could try,” I taunted.
“I’m gonna do more than try, and while I’m doing it those pretty nipples of yours are gonna be clamped.”
I failed to prevent my double-crossing body from projecting how much I wanted Cash to clamp my nipples.
“Pretty jewelry decorating your big tits, while you’re on your knees with your tongue toying with my hardware. Yeah, that’s a plan.”
I hadn’t forgotten that Cash’s cock was pierced. I could never forget that hoop or the barbell and the delicious things they could do. But I hadn’t allowed myself to think about what it would be like to run my tongue over what he called his hardware.
But now that I was, I wanted to. Badly.
Cash being Cash—more observant and attentive than any person I’d ever known—didn’t miss me licking my lips.
Fortunately, he didn’t verbally call me out. Unfortunately, he used his mouth, lips, and tongue. Which was much more effective, especially when it was his slow, drugging kiss of ownership.