Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
We’d decided to move back to Annapolis. Obviously, not back to Cash’s since there was construction underway, but also because he was afraid of how Cara would react going back to the place where he had tackled her onto the floor, then had run out while she was clinging to him in fear.
It had taken me a week before I’d found the courage to ask Cash if Cara had seen me shoot those men.
I found I didn’t need bravery when it came to talking to Cash. For a man who was rough around the edges, foul-mouthed, bossy, and arrogant he was infinitely gentle. Not only with me but with Cara.
Incidentally, Cara thankfully hadn’t seen anything. He’d kept her face covered while he’d run back into his bedroom and told her to keep her eyes closed and her face hidden. Something she had done.
Small mercies.
It had taken another few days after that, when Cash had drawn one of his bubble baths and pulled me in with him, that I told him I was struggling with letting Lore go after the shooting.
Once again, he was gentle when he told me that everyone had two sides to their personalities.
It was just that people like us, people who did what we did, lived in the grey where our pendulums had more room to swing—the distance between on and off was farther apart.
He also spent time during that bath kissing the remnants of Damion’s beating.
After that he pulled me back, careful not to reopen any wounds, and told me that day of the shooting, I had not reawakened Lore.
I had turned into a lioness protecting her cub.
Maternal instinct at its most primitive.
I heard Cara scream, danger was present, and I’d moved in to protect my child and mate.
He said that last part with a smile in his voice and with his erection pressing into my back.
An erection I can unhappily report he had not used or allowed me to use in any way.
For a once-upon-a-time man-whore, Cash was surprisingly stingy with his cock. Anytime I tried to touch him, he refused. I’d utilized every seduction trick I knew and he’d deflected each one.
The stiches were now gone. My back was mostly healed. Penny was safely in Wyoming with Black Team. Damion was still running but hadn’t made contact with me. Cara had adjusted to finishing out the school year being homeschooled with Asher, Robbie, and Eric.
No. Adjusted wasn’t right—she was over-the-moon happy.
She loved her teacher, Amy. The bonus was that before Molly came to work for Z Corp, she was a guidance counselor at an elementary school.
She’d been happy to work with Cara. It didn’t happen every day, but at least twice a week, Molly came up with ways to get Cara to open up.
Most of the time it was through drawing and storytelling.
Cash kept every picture Cara drew. After I learned that Cara was expressing herself using fairytales, I asked Molly to record the stories so I could save them.
Sometimes she slipped when the Snake entered the story and said Zane and sometimes when the beautiful Good Witch floated down from heaven she called her Mommy.
And once when she excitedly told Molly about an epic battle against the trolls, she didn’t make up names and it was Cashy and Daddy, the toughest Troll slayers in all the universe.
She wasn’t wrong.
First, her Daddy had helped me slay my fears.
Then her Cashy had picked up the mantle when I lost her father and guided me to a place I never thought I’d live—the real world.
Openly.
Or as openly as I could, considering my past.
But I was Stella Phillips.
I had all the paperwork to prove it, including a mortgage on a new house I bought with Cash.
And I didn’t even have to fight him on it. All he’d asked was, “How much does this mean to you?”
He meant me helping financially.
When I told him I had to be an active participant in every aspect of our lives, the arguing stopped and I learned that not only could Cash be gentle but he could also compromise. I offered to suck him off for being such a good sport. He smirked and denied my proposition.
Now, I was a soon-to-be co-owner of a huge-ass house with a man I shared a last name with. One that gave my girl a beautiful life. Dished out orgasms like they were candy, with a dominance that made my blood sing. But had withheld his big dick for a month.
A whole month.
No dick.
None.
“Why do you look like you want to murder your laptop?” Nebraska asked.
I looked over her shoulder. Not seeing anyone in the hallway, I blurted out, “Why won’t Cash have sex with me?”
My friend did a slow blink.
“Um.”
“It’s been seven months. To be fair, I was gone six of those months, but he says he didn’t have any other women while I was gone.” Something ugly bubbled in my stomach. “Do you think he’s lying?”
“About having a woman while you were gone?” she asked.
“Who had a woman while you were gone?” Kira asked, pushing her way into the office I was using.
“Cash,” I hissed.
“Negative, sister. No way his grumpy ass was getting laid,” Kira said.
“Then why no sex? I don’t get it.”
Kira and Nebraska exchanged a look.
“Have you asked him?” Nebraska asked.
“Yes. No answer, he just gives me another orgasm to shut me up.”
Another look between the two women.
Then Kira glanced back at me. “I’m sorry, I must’ve missed something important. You’re upset because he’s giving you orgasms.”
“You didn’t miss anything. Miss Death Glare is pissed for exactly that.”
“No,” I contradicted. “That’s not why I’m pissed. And I’m not actually mad, I’m perplexed. I’ve tried everything and no sex.”
“No sex,” Kira repeated.
“Zero. Zilch. No dick. None at all.”
Nebraska started it and it came out as a snort then progressed into full on laughter. Kira joined in and both of them were roaring with it when Easton poked his head in the office.
“What’s so funny?”
“Orgasms…” Nebraska snickered. “But no dick,” she finished, and her hilarity resurfaced.
“Nope. I’m out. I didn’t just hear that. I know nothing. Doctor appointment in ten.” With that he strolled out.
“Of course neither of you would understand. You’re getting it. Or you got it enough to get knocked up. And for the record, I hate you both. Not because I want a baby, but because you’re both getting some.”
“Getting some of what?” Zane stopped in front of the door to ask.
Perfect.
Great.
I growled, then informed my kinda-on-again-off-again boss, “Dick!”
“If you’re gonna stick around, you’re gonna have to come up with better insults. Dick is overused,” he retorted.
“Not Cash’s.” Kira snickered.
I flipped her off.
Zane stared at me then he smiled. Dimples and all.
“Are you telling me—”
“I’m not telling you anything at all. I was talking to prego twins but now I’m getting back to the intel Penny sent over.”
“Find anything new?” Kira asked without laughing, but she was still smiling.
“No. I’ve got all the names she sent over. I’m not finding anything. Maybe Hanson was working alone.”
Hanson O’Neil was the man who kidnapped Penny.
Zane shook his head. “Hanson didn’t have the contacts to call in three Russian mercs. He was working for someone.”
Fucking Russians.
“As soon as these two leave, I’ll keep at it.”
Zane dipped his chin and moved back into the hall but halted. I braced when I saw his smirk. “Have you tried please?”
“Yes, Zane, I’ve asked nicely.”
“But have you said please?”
I was ninety-nine percent certain I had used the word please while begging. But just in case I hadn’t, I would be after we got Cara to sleep. Not that I was going to share that with my boss.
“You’re an HR nightmare,” I told him.
“So my wife says.”
“You need an employee handbook,” I noted.
“We have one,” Kira told me. “But none of the rules apply to you. They’re all about who has control before the mating ritual is compete, who has use of the prophylactic fund and when, no having fun on a mission, and not giving hostages foods that can cause flatulence while driving said hostages to a torture room. ”
“Who are you people?” I asked.
“Hey! Wait up, Dimple King,” Kira yelled and went for the door. “Since there’s no one left to use the prophylactic fund can we repurpose it?”
I didn’t hear Zane’s answer but for some reason I really wanted to know it.
Not that I cared about the fund, but I liked the banter. I more than liked how Zane’s hard exterior softened when he spoke to his female employees.
“Have you thought about the possibility that Cash is waiting for the right time?” Nebraska’s question had me turning to fully face her.
No, I hadn’t thought about that.
“The right time?”
“Yeah, the right time. Just because he’s a growly egomaniac doesn’t mean sex isn’t special to him.”
“I know,” I snapped.
“Don’t get all snippy with me. I’m only pointing it out because apparently you being dick deprived kills your brain cells. He’s just giving you both time to settle in. When the time’s right, it’ll happen. Until then, take your orgasms and shut up.”
My eyes narrowed on my friend. “Just so you know, you suck at peptalks. I don’t think they’re supposed to come with insults.”
“I wouldn’t know. Charlie Michaels raised me and his idea of a peptalk was to give me ballistics data before he pointed me in the direction of my target.”
That had my lips twitching.
“You were always good behind a scope.”
“As were you,” she returned.
“Think we’ll miss it?”
She huffed a humorless laugh. “Nope. You?”
“Not even a little bit.”
My one-time frenemy, The Dove, smiled.
I smiled back.
It was one of nostalgia, a shared past that both of us were happy to leave behind. Taking with us the good parts and keeping those close.
“Good talk,” I told her.
“Yeah.” She turned to leave but glanced back over her shoulder. “Love you, sister.”
That was not the first time she’s said those words to me in the last month. And just as they did the first time, hearing them now helped close another wound.
“Backatcha, sister.”
She winked and that was from my friend, my sister, Nebraska.
I knew she took no offense that I didn’t give her back the words. It wasn’t because I didn’t feel them. It just didn’t seem right to say them to her when Cash should be the first person besides Cara to get them from me.
And I did.
I loved him.
I just hadn’t found the right time to tell him.