Chapter Eleven
Devin’s POV
I could confidently say that I did not remember much, if any, of the last twenty-four hours.
It was as if everything was blank from the moment I gave the cabbie my address to the moment I opened my eyes in the hospital bed.
I didn’t remember how I got her, but I did remember crying so hard as soon as I got into the elevator that I made myself sick.
I was still crying and retching so loud, so viciously that I didn’t even hear Eddie when he came into my apartment.
I was emptying my stomach again and again until there was nothing left, and I just felt emotionally and physically exhausted.
I recalled thanking the fucking lord that I had the forethought to give my friends keys so they could let themselves in whenever I couldn’t answer the door.
I know Eddie had said something about contacting the lawyer for an eviction, to see if we can change the locks right away.
I didn’t expect Caleb’s boss’s lawyer to actually contact us, on a Saturday night, and offer legal advice.
Nor did I expect the lawyer and Mr. Westwood to come to the hospital on a Sunday!
The legal fees associated with that kind of a ‘non-office-hours’ visit had to be astronomical!
I had no idea what was going on with my life anymore, so I just nodded along to the conversation that was going on around me absentmindedly as the world swayed around me.
The phone felt like it weighed two tons, like it was something so dangerous it would explode if I held it wrong.
There was a video link that I just had to hit play to watch.
A video link with a timestamp that was after I left.
After I was told he’d be informed I left ill.
I pressed the button and sounds of my husband grunting, filling another woman, flooded the room, drowning me in anger and hatred for the man who promised me forever.
Long after I had listened to that godforsaken video, it played through my mind like a horrible song stuck on repeat.
The sun's rays pulled me in, sucking all of the energy from my body, simply exhausting me…
“Whatever,” I muttered under my breath, annoyed at the whole situation I found myself in because the man I was married to had the self restraint of a gnat at a picnic in the middle of July.
I needed to leave. I couldn’t forgive this.
I knew deep within my soul there was no way that I’d ever be able to forgive or forget what this man had done to me.
And I knew for a fact, there was no way there was protection being used last night.
I heard him tell her he was nutting inside of her.
I knew he was playing a dangerous game of pregnancy roulette.
I wanted absolutely no part of that.
I could feel the world going dull around me, losing its color.
I could feel my emotions fading from my soul, my mind trying to numb me to the pain.
It was like my body was shutting down anything I did not, without a doubt, need to function in survival mode.
I instinctively, on some level, was aware that I was going to be stuck in this dull, emotionless, survival state on a daily basis.
I wasn’t sure how long it would last either.
I just felt like my body was shutting itself off, one system at a time.
I started feeling really cold, shaking under the warmth of my favorite blanket.
I remembered looking up at Eddie, feeling so scared because this had never happened before.
He looked so calm, slipping into doctor mode as I slipped into the darkness that called me like a long-lost friend.
*****
I don’t know how long I was out of it, but I felt more rested this time.
It didn’t feel like there was this weight resting on my chest, doing everything to crush me.
When I started to come out of it, I could hear more than anything.
I heard mumbling and muffled voices as I stretched, taking stock of how much more solid I felt.
I felt sore, but in the way you feel after an intense workout.
It was like I had used muscles I hadn’t before.
Bruised, beaten, but I knew I’d survive this.
I could hear a distant, and consistent, beeping.
I stretched my body, cracking open my eyes just a hair, trying to gauge the brightness and the severity in how sore my eyes would be.
They felt like sandpaper before, so I was hopeful it wouldn’t be that bad this time.
I could faintly see Em through my swollen eyes.
She was fast asleep with her head on my bed, sitting in one of the standard uncomfortable hospital chairs.
I smiled, happy I wasn’t alone, that I had my friends, my chosen family.
I closed my eyes again, feeling safe, and loved by people I knew would never leave me.
My best friends. My sister, from another mister; my brother from another mother.
With my eyes closed, I let the love I felt from them and their concern wash over me.
I felt a small smile grace my face as I let the darkness pull me back under for another nap.
Maybe I would feel even better the next time I woke up.
Opening my eyes again, I could see a little bit more, my eyes not as swollen.
I saw Eddie and Em talking in the far corner of the room in hushed voices, gesturing wildly with their hands.
It looked intense, whatever the conversation was about.
I shifted on the hard, metal hospital bed, trying to be as quiet about my discomfort as possible, and failing in spectacular fashion as I let out a quiet groan.
Even if I tried to deny the groan, I knew my face was saying all I would attempt to deny.
Once I was comfortable again, I took a deep breath, letting my head fall back, enjoying the silence.
And that was when it sank in. It was quiet in the room.
My eyes popped open and immediately looked at my besties again.
They were just staring at me like children who had just been busted painting with butt cream and Mom’s make-up all over the room and each other.
I clocked it, and was immediately suspicious.
“Hi,” I cautiously rasped out. They both came over, still whispering, trying not to be too loud since I always got bad headaches after puking my guts out in offering to the porcelain throne.
It happened every time. They looked like they were on opposite sides of the same coin.
I stayed silent, waiting for them to say something outside of their whispered ‘shouting’ match.
“So, what happened? What else could have happened in the few hours I was out?” I rasped out in a whispered worry. They looked at each other, like they were each waiting for the other one to tell me whatever nonsense it was first. And instantly my thoughts went to the worst case scenario.
How sick was I? I couldn’t be pregnant, my IUD damn near guaranteed that.
“Well. You’ve been out for a little more than 24 hours.
In that time, I’ve secured a lawyer for you,” Eddie started cautiously, “And your hopefully soon to be ex husband, showed up here briefly. Since he couldn’t get ahold of you, he’s taken to getting to you, trying to contact you, through us.
We’ve muted him on our phones, and yours per the lawyer’s request. She said that way, we won’t be subjected to reading his venom, but we’ll have it for court.
Do you remember anything from the Christmas party last night? ”
I stared at him for just a brief, blissful moment before everything came rushing back to me.
Becky hanging on Caleb and him not pushing her off firmly the first time.
The long wait before dinner and then him disappearing.
Mr. Westwood showed me Caleb having sex with that absolute dumpster of a woman.
I sat with the memories, and I felt…nothing.
No sadness, no anger, maybe just a bit of indifference that was starting to grow.
It was like the indifference had taken root so I could move past this without losing myself.
Emilia smiled at me. A smile that said she knew I had this and I was strong enough when I most certainly did not feel that way inside.
I felt indifference, dressed up as nothing.
“Mam and Pa are on their way home,” Eddie filled the silence as I stared at the new phone sitting on the table over my bed.
“They were both furious when I told them last night, and are even more furious than now that you’re in the hospital.
They’re disappointed in us that we didn't tell them right away when all this first happened last month. They said they understood, but…” he trailed off.
He didn’t have to tell me. I already knew they would have wanted to know from the beginning.
They were protectors, fixers, who would do anything for their family.
“They’re way more pissed at him than us. Pa was ready to plant him with the potatoes in Ireland.” He tried to hide the smile as he told me my father’s plans for Caleb. That made us giggle.
Pa was always very protective. Over all of us.
It had been that way since before I could remember, but his protectiveness extended to Eddie and Emilia when I brought them in, claiming them as friends for life.
Here we were however many years later, still going strong in our best-friend-ship.
Mam was incredibly protective, too. They are wonderful parents.
I knew this was their vacation time before the holidays and they loved to go visit where we buried my Móraí and my Daideó on the property they left us in Ireland.
Pa loved to go visit because he felt close to them.
I felt guilty for calling them back here, cutting their time there short.
My mam’s parents were still alive, but they weren’t a part of our lives.
Mam had a falling out with them years ago.
She and Pa had never said what it was about.
But that was neither here nor there. Pa’s parents were the only grandparents I had ever known, and they were the best set that my besties had ever known.
When they passed, Pa was a shell of himself, and looked forward to spending as much time in Ireland as possible.
We all hated pulling him away from there.
He always seemed so at peace and serene when he was there.
Like a piece of his soul had returned to him being back in his home country.
“He also showed up at the apartment as I was leaving,” Emilia filled me in, moving closer, sitting on that horrible, hard hospital chair again.
“I had my hands full and it was close to two in the morning at that point. I don’t know how he made it past Frank, but I kept walking after I locked the door.
You have new keypad locks. They use a fingerprint, fob, key code, or old-fashioned key to get in. ”
“Wow,” I didn’t know they made locks like that, but damn it sounded fancy! “How did that go over? He doesn’t have access to it anymore, right?”
“Like a lead balloon. I’d called Frank to let him know.
He called the police and Caleb left before they got there.
I let Frank know that all of Caleb’s things were out of the flat and he had no need to go back upstairs.
Frank said Caleb kept insisting on getting whatever package he had coming tomorrow,” she shrugged.
“Has he tried to come see me? Here at the hospital?” I was really curious about that. They looked between themselves, like they were sharing a secret neither of them wanted to say out loud, then back at me. Letting their gazes fall, I knew.
He hadn’t come to see me.
Was he that deep in the bubble that he didn’t even know where I was? How is that possible? It’s been over a full twenty-four hours since I was brought in considering the sun was coming up.
Wow.
I never thought this would be it for us.
Not us.