Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
AINSLEY
Damn, that last shot affected me more than all the champagne I consumed tonight. In reality, it was probably the shot mixed with the champagne. All I know is when Cassie and I get out of the car, we're both swaying side to side. She pulls me in and nuzzles her face in my hair.
“Ahhh, AC, you know how much I love you right? Shhh…Don’t answer, I will tell you. I love you more than all the stars in the sky and fish in the sea. You know how big that is? Ginormous!” She has her arms spread wide, showing how big her love is for me. I laugh at her grandiose gesture and tell her I love her, too.
Morgan pulled Ace back for a side chat—I wonder what they’re talking about. Ace looks up at me while nodding at whatever Morgan is saying. Then a cheeky grin adorns his face, and I’m not sure what he is thinking, but whatever it is can’t be good.
Cass is slowly fading as she leans against the wall for support. Morgan and Ace are at our sides quickly after their one on one. Morgan takes Cassie’s arm to help her into the house, while I stay outside to enjoy the fresh air.
“Come on, Ice Queen, let's get you something to eat to soak up the booze, and then it’s bedtime.” Morgan chuckles as he guides her in when I hear her answer him loudly.
“Ha. Ice Queen. You’re just mad you can’t melt the heart you forced me to free—” He cuts her off before she can finish that sentence, but I heard it.
The heart he forced her to freeze.
If their earlier behavior wasn’t enough, that statement just confirmed my suspicions.
“Hey, hey Ice… Come on, let’s go inside.” He ushers her in as fast as he can without her losing her balance. I turn to look up at the sky, and love that all the stars are visible under the moonlight. Ace stayed outside with me—I can feel his presence and smell his cologne that I've always loved.
Tonight was surprisingly fun, for a night I have been dreading. I was able to put all the drama bullshit aside with Ace, and let loose with my friends like we used to. The altercation with Jackson and Tetherball Tara was unfortunate, but I should have known dancing with him was going to put her in territorial mode. I didn’t see him for the rest of the night. Hopefully he was taking her dramatic ass home. I’m surprised she was the only one to take issue with our dance, to be honest.
I break the silence. “You want to talk, Big Guy, let's hear it.” I laugh at the name. I mean, he is big…like, really big. Even in my heels, he towers over me.
Speaking of heels, let's get these death traps off.
I know my feet will be killing me tomorrow. Apparently, courage isn’t the only thing you get from alcohol. I lift one foot behind me at a time and reach back to take the pumps off by the heel. He's watching, infatuated, with a hungry look on his face.
“I think now is the perfect time to air everything out. That is, if you’re willing to.” Wow, he's going right for it. He gestures with his hands to tell me the floor is mine, but I’m not sure what he expects me to say. I shouldn’t be the one to start this conversation. I would like to keep the parts I'm embarrassed about to myself, but I’m not sure how to answer his questions without giving him the whole truth.
I start to head for the door when his hand grabs my forearm, stopping me in place. He walks toward what looks like a mini park on the complex's property, pulling me with him, shoes be damned. There’s a grassy area with some fancy-looking benches and a couple bistro sets. He sits us down on one of the benches and I sigh, turning toward him with a touch of attitude that I don’t mean to give. I said I would hear him out, but that isn't a guarantee we’ll get anywhere.
He cuts me off right as I'm about to talk. “Be quiet, Ains,” he says aggressively.
Talk about mood change.
“I'm going to ask you this again, and you better have a different answer. What happened?” I can tell by his no-bullshit attitude, I will not be going to sleep unless I give him a real response.
I sigh, thinking back to the day that destroyed me and wrecked us…
I walk up the stairs to Morgan’s room, knowing that's where he'll be. Should I knock or just walk in? I go to put my hand on the doorknob when I hear smacking sounds and light whispering. He's in there with a girl. He’s only been here for a couple hours and already has a hookup? Oh God, I need to leave. The smacking stops and the voices get louder. I hear my name. Ugh, it’s Ashley Jacobs, of course it is. In his defense, I never told him who the bully was that made school miserable for me.
“Did you ever have feelings for Ainsley?” she asks, as if it would be embarrassing for him to like me.
“What? Why would you even ask that?” Oh no, walk away. I can’t handle him friend-zoning me to her.
“I know she is Morgan’s little sister, but she was always around. I’ve seen the way she looks at you and it’s pathetic.” Ouch, that hurt. I always thought I hid my feelings for him well.
“She is Morgan’s little sister, and that’s all she is." There's a pause, and I'm hoping he stops there.
"I feel bad for her,” he continues. “She doesn’t have friends and would never leave the house if we didn’t tag her along. It’s not pathetic, it’s sad.” I hear Ashley let out a breath of relief, followed by an evil laugh.
“Well, good. I knew there couldn't be any way you would like someone like her. She’s not your type, babe, but I just needed to make sure. She's a homely-looking nerd. Everyone finds it hard to believe Morgan is her brother.” Oh God, this is one of those worst-case scenarios, and I'm just frozen in place listening.
“Can we stop talking about Morgan's little sister, and can you continue rubbing my dick?” He laughs, and I hear the gross sound of whatever it is they’re doing. I step away with tears falling down my face and make my way to the stairs. I need to get out of this house.
The memory spills from my lips, each detail reopening the wounds in my heart
“You were home that day?” he asks in disbelief.
“Yes, I was there. I heard everything. I was about to graduate, and the day you both came home was my half day.” His eyes are huge and unblinking. I think I short-circuited his brain with my revelation.
Ace sighs, and his shoulders sag down in defeat. “You were never supposed to hear that.” He is unbelievable.
I wasn’t supposed to hear it? He shouldn’t have said it in the first place.
“Well, newsflash: I did, and it hurt me. You and Morgan were my protectors and best friends, and you shit all over that. When Morgan told me he wasn’t home, I was trying to find you to—” I stop myself. No way will I tell him I was looking for him to confess my feelings, thinking he might feel the same way.
He cups both sides of my face with his hands, and the tear that I was holding back falls down my cheek. I had no intention of crying in front of him, but fuck, between the confession and alcohol…I can’t help it.
“No! I didn’t mean one fucking word of it! I know you won’t buy it, the words did come out of my mouth, but please believe me.” I stare into the eyes that once held me captive. I would’ve believed anything he said, but it’s different now, and so are we.
“Then why? Why say all those hurtful things to the one person that made my life hell in high school?” I throw my hands in the air in frustration. There’s no going back now. Tonight’s theme: honesty is the best policy. He pauses, thinking about what he's going to say, and I pray to anyone listening that he isn’t thinking up a lie.
When I think he's about to say something, he gets up with urgency and paces back and forth. Walking over to the gazebo that covers a large portion of the small park, he rests his elbows on the wooden railing. I still have liquid courage running through my veins, so I move closer to him, placing both palms on his upper back to let him know I'm listening.
“Ainsley, you don’t understand what you're asking me. If I give you the answers you’re looking for... If I say this out loud, everything will change. I’m not sure we can come back from this.” He's still not making eye contact, just shaking his head. At this point I'm lost—either he meant it or he didn't.
“What I can tell you is if you don't tell me the truth, everything will stay just like it's been, and I'll pretend you don’t exist. Is that what you want?” My voice is shaking, practically pleading with him to be honest. I mean what I said; if he chooses to withhold the whole truth, I'll permanently write him off and there will be no more chances.
He faces me with a haunted look in his eyes. It breaks my heart to see him like this, but it has to happen. If there’s any hope of moving on from the past and continuing our friendship, I need to know.
“Say it,” I demand.
“No.” His tone is harsh.
“Say it!” My voice finally breaks as I yell at him.
The world suddenly collapses around me as he grabs the back of my neck, crashing his mouth to mine in a painfully beautiful collision. Full, soft lips caress mine as if we've been doing this our entire lives. I let out a soft moan as he licks along my bottom lip.
When I moan again, my mouth parts and he uses that opportunity to slide his tongue inside, rolling it with mine in a slow, methodical way that sends a flash of heat between my legs. I can’t breathe, and shift my legs to try and ease the pulsing desire radiating through me. That doesn’t help, as he moves in even further, pressing our bodies closer together. The long slit in my dress allows him to grab the back of my thigh, sliding it slowly up to cup one side of my ass. He reaches his arm under the other side of my dress, using the same slit as an access point, repeating the same motion. Then I’m lifted up, leaving me to wrap my legs around his hips and lock them in place with my ankles.
What the hell is happening?
He breaks the kiss while pressing my back against the pillar of the gazebo. We stare at each other, panting, trying to catch our breath from that earth-shattering kiss.
This is insane. He didn’t tell me why, but then kissed me like he’s wanted to kiss me forever .
He sits me down on the railing and stands between my spread legs.
“Do you understand now why everything will change?” I blink in confusion.
“Ace...” I feel like an idiot. What am I not getting?
“Ainsley! I can’t get you out of my fucking head! You are everything I think about, every second of every day! I said that shit to Ashley because I was scared that if she found out how I felt she would tell people, and then it would get back to your brother. You were still in high school, and my best friend’s little sister. I said all of that shit to her to get her off my back. I was hooking up with her to get my mind off of you . I have been obsessed with you for years, but because of Morgan, I shoved all of my feelings for you as far down as I could. My dick wouldn't get hard, so I asked her to leave. When I saw you come home—well, come back home, I guess—you were so cold to me. I didn’t know you were coming home early. I didn’t mean any of that shit I said.” His breathing is rapid and heavy. It feels like he just set off a bomb.
“No…You…Y-you…what?” I have no more words than that.
He throws his head back in frustration. “Don’t you fucking get it, princess? I love you. Not just as your friend, and not just as Morgan’s sister. I am in love with you, and you are the one person I was not supposed to fall in love with.” His hands are back up at my cheeks, cupping them gently. I am breathless as my eyes well up with tears.
Ace Maddox loves me… He is in love with me. This can’t be real.
“Baby, I need you in ways that I have never needed anyone. I didn’t realize it until you were gone, putting states between us.” His face is so close to mine as he says the words I have always wanted to hear.
“Say something, princess,” he demands a response from me while one hand moves to my waist.
Why aren’t you saying anything? Respond… Bitch, respond. Get the words out of your fucking mouth.
“I-um…I don’t know what to say. You love me?” He said it, but it’s as if I need more confirmation from him.
"I do, Ains. And you want to know the fucked up part?" He hesitates for a beat, not waiting for an answer before he continues. "There's nothing I can fucking do about it."
Ace runs a hand through his hair, muttering a curse under his breath. "You're Morgan's little sister. I can't..." He laces his fingers together over his head, his brow furrowed in frustration.
Quiet settles between us for a moment, but it doesn't linger as Ace lowers his voice, the bass there sending shivers down my spine. "I'm not the same guy you knew growing up. The things I like, the things I need... Shit Ains, they'd have you running for the hills."
I have so many questions I know he isn't ready to answer. All I'm hearing is there is no way we could ever be together. "Alright Ace, I won't push. You've made it clear all the reasons we can't happen. I need time to process all of this. Let's just go inside."