36. Badly Arranged Constellations
Roman
I walked out through the kitchen with Summer and tried to think of what to say. It wasn’t easy. I finally said, “You’re good with kids.”
“I like them, that’s why,” she said. “It’s probably all the Barbie parties.”
“Or,” I said, “it’s that you’re kind.”
She said, “Don’t be getting all soft on me now.”
I laughed, and the moment passed. “About ready to leave?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said. “It feels like the right time, especially since Koro’s asleep. You stuck it out longer than I’d expected. It wasn’t easy, I know. I was—” She paused.
“You were what?” I asked, thinking, Need to go find Delilah next door.
“Proud,” she said. “I know I don’t have a right to be proud, but I was. You stood up for yourself, and you stood up for me. You were honest and strong, but you were kind, too. That isn’t easy. This isn’t easy. I was proud.”
I had a sort of pain in my chest, and somehow, I had her hand in mine, too, was looking down at those soft platinum curls, at the ivory skin of her shoulders in the pretty dress she’d admitted I’d paid for, because she had to be honest, even if it hurt. Especially if it hurt.
Hemi was right. That kind of courage didn’t win you any prizes, and it didn’t really help you get ahead. The only reason for it was that you couldn’t be any other way. I wanted to tell her that, and was trying to work out how to do it, when I heard something over the noise of insect song and music and lazy chat.
“Coo-ee!” A happy trill of greeting.
I froze where I stood. I knew that voice.
I’d avoided Daniel almost this whole time. I’d avoided Ana, too. Now, Daniel was hurrying forward with Ana behind him, Daniel saying, “Thought you weren’t coming.”
“I didn’t want to intrude,” my mum said. Because of course it was my mum. She was wearing a floaty dress, heels, and the kind of makeup she favored, which she’d explained to me was “age-appropriate” but looked too glossy to me, not to mention the Botox that had erased any lines that dared to appear on her face, and I could see the glint of gold jewelry from here.
I walked over to them, because what else could I do, and Summer squeezed my hand. Things are as they are, I reminded myself. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations. Alan Watts, and he was right. There was no embarrassment here, because my mum wasn’t me, and I accepted my thoughts and controlled my actions. I could feel, and then I could let the feelings go. Although I was going to need to get her out of here, and I didn’t know how. I breathed in, breathed out, and prepared to meet the situation without flinching. Which was why I didn’t say, If you don’t want to intrude, why are you here? And said instead, “Hi, Mum. Surprised to see you.” And kissed her cheek.
“I invited her, of course,” Daniel said. “She belongs here. And it’s a party! The more the merrier. This is my daughter Ana, and this is Lola. Roman’s mum. You’re a stepmum, I guess,” he told my mum. “Another surprise. Lovely, eh. Lovely.”
Ana, who’d barely spoken to me so far, said, “Hi. I could introduce you to my mum, but she hasn’t been invited for yonks, not since she and Dad split. Oh well, nobody ever asks me.” She was a stocky woman who looked ten years older than Hemi but probably wasn’t, with the kind of marionette lines around her mouth that spoke of bad temper. She surprised me now by sliding her arm through mine and saying, “Who’d think I’d find another brother now, though? It’s like life’s given me another chance. I’ve got three kids, too. That makes you an uncle, Roman. Always a good thing to have another uncle to spoil the kids, hey. I reckon it even makes you a grandmother, Lola, if we’re counting that way.”
A spasm of something crossed my mum’s face for the barest instant, then she laughed, an artificial trill of a thing, and said, “But I’m much younger than you, surely. Too silly.” Which made Ana stiffen, but my mum ignored that and said, “Now. Where’s that father of yours, Daniel? Roman’s grandfather. Imagine meeting him at last. I have to greet the guest of honor. I was practically a daughter-in-law, after all.”
Practically how? I thought. If he hadn’t run like a bunny after your so-called romance, you mean?
“He’s asleep.” That came from behind me. Hemi, speaking with finality and no warmth at all. Despite all my training and all my self-discipline, I wanted to say, Not my idea, mate. Seemed I cared about his opinion after all, but then, that was because he’d turned out to be a surprisingly decent bloke, or maybe just somebody I understood.
“Oh,” Mum said. “What a pity. I guess I’ll just meet everybody else, then.”
“My son,” Daniel said. “Hemi Te Mana. Richest bugger you’ll ever meet, and the tightest, too. Squeezes a dollar until the Queen sneezes, Hemi does, unless he’s spending it on himself. Look at this place. Not exactly the Taj Mahal, is it? Unless you’re comparing it to my place, anyway, or Ana’s. Shonky as hell, both of them. You should see where he lives, though. Sounds like Roman knows what’s due to his mum, because she has a house. In Auckland, and not one like this. Hemi could learn something, maybe.” He glanced around and added flatly, “And Hemi’s wife. Hope.” Hard to see how any man could respond like that to the pretty, sweet little person who was Hope Te Mana, but I was guessing there was a reason. Probably that Daniel had chosen to blame Hope for the lack of the support he felt entitled to, as if she’d be less charitable than Hemi in this or any other universe.
“Oh.” My mum widened her eyes in a way I’d seen all my life—girlish, I thought that was, though it was getting less effective as she got older—and put out her hand. To Hemi, not Hope. “Hemi Te Mana. How exciting, and to find out you’re Roman’s brother! I’m gobsmacked, but how wonderful to have you in the family. I’ve read all about you, of course, but I never dreamt— And your lovely clothes! I can’t really afford them—Roman thinks up-to-date fashion doesn’t matter, and that I should be happy wearing any old thing, though you and I know better, don’t we?—but I always look out for your new lines. Quite daring, I thought your autumn line was. Everybody else doing those oversized things that swallow a woman up, and then there was yours, with those lovely flowing fabrics that just skim over your body. So forgiving, but so flattering, too. Just brilliant. What a thrill it must be to go to Paris Fashion Week and see those beautiful clothes in person. That’s a dream of mine. An impossible dream, probably.” She smiled brilliantly.
Hemi said, “Thank you,” but his mouth barely moved.
“Is that one of your designs that your wife is wearing?” Mum asked.
“Yes, it is,” Hope said, proving that she had better manners than my mum, who’d never addressed her at all, let alone Summer. “Your dress is beautiful as well.”
“Woefully out of fashion,” Mum said. “Not this summer’s look at all. Hemi will know that. I’m embarrassed, honestly.” Her gaze finally flicked over Summer, and she asked, “Is that a Te Mana as well? A friends and family discount, maybe?” Another sparkling look at Hemi. As a hint, it wasn’t exactly subtle.
“No,” Summer said, but didn’t say anything else, probably because she couldn’t think of what it would be.
I said, “Mum. Let’s talk,” and took her elbow.
Daniel said, “Not now. There are heaps of people for her to meet. We’re her whanau now, too. Can’t keep us all to yourself.”
No choice. I was going to have to be direct. “Let’s get this clear,” I told him. “You’re not my father in any way that counts, and you had no right to invite my mother today. She’s no relation to anyone here but me, and if you tell me she’s your girlfriend, I’m not buying it. You’re a good fifteen years older than she is, and you’ve got no money. It’s never going to be her whanau. It’s not my whanau, and they all know it. The old man wanted to meet me, and I came. Everyone’s been kind, but they aren’t going to have to keep being that way, because I won’t be asking it.” As a thanks-for-welcoming-me-to-the-family gesture, it was rubbish, but somehow, I’d said it anyway. Fortunately, not everybody had heard it, and I had a feeling Hemi and Hope would forgive me.
Hemi’s sister Ana, the marionette lines gone even deeper, said sharply, “How can you talk like that to your own parents? To your father, who’s acknowledging you out of the goodness of his heart even though you couldn’t be more illegitimate? Tell me, who died and put you in charge of the guest list? Dad is Koro’s son, while you’ve never even met Koro until today, and you think you’re the one to decide? Maybe I wanted to meet your mum, did you think of that?”
I ignored her, because, like Summer, I couldn’t think of anything to say, and said, “Come on, Mum.”
My mother resisted a moment, then went with me, unfortunately with Daniel trailing behind, probably working up something more to say, his own big denunciation speech. My mum, I could deal with. But what was I going to do about Daniel? I’d made things worse, blowing up like that, and everybody else would have to deal with the fallout. I still had Summer’s hand, and I didn’t let go as I walked toward the gate at the corner of the house even as Delilah came through it.
“Whoa,” Delilah said, backing up a step. “Summer texted me it was time to go. I didn’t realize we were going to have drama. Maybe I’ll go back and play some more ping-pong.”
My mum said, “She can be here, and I can’t? I have more right than she does! I’m your mother! Who’s she? Your girlfriend’s cousin? And judging by what they’re wearing, you’re buying them clothes. You’re buying them shoes, because those aren’t cheap, and I saw what they were wearing before. A couple of fly-by-night tourists, latching onto you like … like … And you call me mercenary? Because that’s what you just did, and in front of everybody! You barely know them and you’re supporting them, while here I am, wearing this old thing from last summer!What will Hemi think of me? Or your grandfather? What will they think of you, treating your mother like this?”
I had a pretty good idea what Hemi thought of her. I wanted to drop her arm and leave her here, just walk out with Summer and Delilah, but how could I let her crash this party?
I was still trying to decide how to get her out of there when I felt a disturbance in the energy field and realized Hemi had come up behind us. He said, “Probably time to go, Dad. Maybe Lola can give you a lift. If you don’t have someplace to stay, I’ll ring up.”
Daniel said, “You can’t tell me to leave the home I grew up in, and you can’t put Lola out, either. You have no right.”
Hemi didn’t answer, just stared at him, and Daniel looked away and muttered, “No loyalty. No gratitude.”
“Oh, I get it,” Delilah said. “Hemi’s probably paying your rent, right? I bet he’s done it forever. Just like Roman’s paying for his mother’s everything. You know, I might not be the greatest person in the world, but at least I’ve never let Summer just pay for everything, even when she had, you know, money. At least I got a job, and I was a teenager! That’s just gross, leeching off your kid like that. Newsflash: parents are supposed to take care of kids, not the other way around, at least not until you’re, you know, ancient and feeble. I mean, my aunt took care of me from the time I was little, and she had zero money and I wasn’t even her kid! Man, I never thought I’d be the one who knew what family values mean, especially when New Zealand is supposed to be all Maori and family-focused and everything.”
Hemi laughed, nothing but a bark of a thing. My mum said, “How dare you?” Her face was flushing, her entire body tensing.
I saw her hand come up and grabbed her wrist. “No,” I said. “Not unless you want to find out what it’s like to live in state housing.”
“You’d threaten me with that?” she said. “What did I ever do to deserve this? And I’m surprised at you,” she told Hemi. “You’re going to throw out your own father, after all he’s been through?”
“I’m not threatening you,” I said. “I’m promising you. Whatever I owe you, I’ve paid. I’ll keep doing it, but not if you disrespect Summer and Delilah. Not if you abuse Hemi.”
“Oh, now it’s Hemi, is it?” she flashed back. “Thought you didn’t want anything to do with him. You are looking for that investment, no matter what you told me.”
“I don’t need his investment,” I said. Suddenly, I was just tired. I wanted out of here.
“He’s not hurting his chances,” Hemi said. “Actually.”
“No,” I said. “Thanks, but no.”
Summer hadn’t said anything so far, but now, she stepped forward and took my mum’s arm. “This is so awkward,” she said. “So hard, coming in here to find all these people you don’t know. Maybe finding out that … that it isn’t everything you hoped it would be. All this fighting. It’s horrible, isn’t it? Did you drive all the way from Auckland by yourself?”
Mum’s chin wobbled a bit, and she said, “Of course I did. Daniel assured me I’d be welcome.”
“I’m so sorry,” Summer said. “Let’s go down to the town and find a café, just you and me. I could use a cup of tea, and I’m sure you could, too. This is too much for both of us, and I know it isn’t anything like you expected. Can we go someplace quiet and talk it over?”
Mum’s chin did some more trembling, and her eyes got bright. “I wasn’t expecting— I never thought—” she started, then broke off and said, “It’s just?—”
“I know,” Summer said, her hand still on Mum’s arm. “I know exactly. You got dressed up. You wanted to be accepted, and it feels so bad to think you aren’t. I know how much that hurts. I’ve been there. Come on. Let’s go have that tea. Hemi, Hope—where should we go?”
Hope said, “The Katikati Beach Café is good. Would you like me to come with you?”
“No, thanks,” Summer said. “We’re fine, and it’s time for me to go anyway. Roman, why don’t you give us half an hour before you and Delilah come pick me up? I really do need the break.”
“Fine,” I said. I wasn’t sure how Summer was responsible for digging me out of this hole, but I couldn’t find a better alternative short of carrying my mum out bodily, so I guessed I’d let her.
Daniel said, “I’m not leaving. I have a right.”
Hemi didn’t answer him. He stepped forward, took Summer’s hand, and pressed it gently. “Thanks,” he said.
“Nothing to thank me for,” she said. “I’m doing what I want to do. Thank you for letting me join you today. I enjoyed meeting all of you. Please say goodbye to your grandfather for me. I see what everybody meant. He’s the … the anchor, isn’t he? The talisman.”
“The kaitiaki,” Hemi said. “The guardian. Yeh. He is.”
“Tell Maia goodbye, too, please,” Summer said, “and all the others.”
“I will,” Hemi said. “And I’ll hope to see you again.”