Chapter 21
Shawn had told her to wear “normal Bay clothes.” When Willa asked for clarification, he said a swimsuit and something to cover up with. So that’s how she ended up wearing her favorite navy bikini underneath jean shorts and a tank top.
Willa sat on the steps of her front porch waiting for him. They’d started to be more careful around Ida, so they agreed that he’d pick her up rather than have her walk over to his place. That woman was too nosy for her own good, and Willa’s walks with her were slowly turning into an inquisition. Usually, asking about Bingo or the latest birds she’d seen on the wharf would pivot the conversation well enough for Ida to drop it, but lately, she’d been asking more about Willa’s dating life and talking up Shawn like it was her job.
Willa grinned to herself. It was sweet how much Ida loved Shawn, and how well Shawn took care of her in return. The wall she’d built around her heart was cracking, and she had to admit that the way he treated his grandmother warmed her to no end.
And his way of seeing her—of really seeing her—and somehow saying the exact thing she needed to hear endeared her to him as much as it scared the shit out of her.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Willa squeezed her eyes shut. She hadn’t planned to open up to him about Leo the other night, but he’d told her so much—he was so open, so vulnerable. She felt like she owed it to him to do the same, even if he’d given her a clear out. And before she knew it, she was spilling her guts, saying things she hadn’t even said to Charlie—things she’d been working up the courage to say in therapy.
So she’d told him the whole story, but held back sharing that she felt like she’d never get it right, that she was inherently messed up somehow for always choosing the wrong guy.
And then, he said that, wiping away her tears.
Somehow, he read her mind. He knew she was thinking that something must be wrong with her. That had to be the case, otherwise, why would so many men cheat on her? She hadn’t said it outloud, but he responded anyway.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Words she’d needed to hear for far longer than she realized. All the cascading emotions she had been feeling vanished in an instant, once he was touching her. He’d wiped away that tear, and his hand hadn’t left her face since. He’d come closer, kneeling beside her, looking deep into her eyes as if extended eye contact could somehow convince her of what he said earlier.
There is nothing wrong with you.
The sinking feeling in her stomach was still there, but only slightly. Saying it outloud had taken away some of the fear in that sentiment, and now Shawn had looked at her like he wanted to take her pain away.
His truck pulled into the driveway, taking her out of her reverie.
“You gonna tell me what we’re doing?” she asked as she climbed into the truck.
“I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out.”
She chuckled and put it out of her head as he pulled out of the driveway. She’d find out eventually. Though she’d usually have her suspicions, but she just wanted to turn her brain off after the morning she had. Letting Shawn take the lead so she could relax for a minute felt like a gift she didn’t know she needed.
Blake’s appearance at her yoga class today left her feeling unsettled. She wanted to give him another chance—hoped she’d been wrong about him at first, but he proved her initial judgment right today. Distantly, she thought back to when Layla first mentioned him, and she hoped her friend’s work situation wasn’t as toxic as Willa suspected.
Of course, when Shawn stepped in and saved the day as her fake boyfriend, she thought she might swoon on the spot.
But she still had that meeting with Blake to contend with, and she didn’t quite know what to expect. Willa had been kicking herself all day for agreeing to meet with him over a drink despite her best judgment. A business meeting over a drink seemed harmless enough for most people, but with a man like that—one who clearly was used to getting his way with women—she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t feel like she could decline, though. She was rarely rattled, but something about Blake bothered her. And it wasn’t just Layla’s warning; it was a gut reaction, something that screamed for her to be careful.
And she hated to admit it, but Blake reminded her a bit of some of her exes. It made her feel stupid. Shouldn’t she have seen through their bullshit the way she saw through Blake’s?
Willa had her first therapy session a few days prior, and they talked about her sordid history with men—how they always seemed to disappoint her in the long run, with their cheating and their lying and their hurtful words.
Her therapist said that in their next session, she wanted to dig into self-love and self-trust, and how to rebuild it. Willa felt like that was a big task for her to undertake, but she had to admit, she felt better after her first therapy session. Even if she was emotionally exhausted.
“Are you thinking about that jerk?” Shawn asked, his knuckles white as he held the steering wheel. “Blake, or whatever the fuck?”
She leaned back in her seat and propped up her legs on the dash. “How did you know that’s what I was thinking about?”
“I can read you like a book, Greene,” he responded with a smirk, then grew serious. “I didn’t like the way he talked to you.”
“That makes two of us.”
“He tried to break my hand with that handshake of his.”
“Shit, I’m sorry,” she said, looking over at him with sympathy. “You ok?”
Shawn chuckled. “I said ‘tried,’ Greene. It’ll take a lot more than a pretty boy like that to hurt me.”
Willa laughed with him and rolled her window down, closing her eyes as the salty breeze covered her. She breathed it in deeply, sucking it into her lungs in an attempt to calm her racing mind. Before she knew it, Shawn was pulling the car to a stop.
She opened her eyes and looked around.
“The marina?” she asked.
He nodded, giving her a grin as he sat back and waited for her to finish connecting the dots.
She looked out the window toward where the boats were docked. One of them was a nice little speedboat with the name “Ida” painted on the side. She turned back toward him suddenly and sucked in a breath.
“You’re taking me on a boat ride.”
“You won it, fair and square,” he responded.
“But don’t you have a paid tour today?” she asked, remembering that he usually did tours on Saturday afternoons, and she’d never forgive herself if he’d canceled it for her. “I thought you were booked solid for the month.”
“They canceled at the last minute,” he said. “Which means I have all the makings for the perfect boat picnic.”
“But—”
“They had to eat all the fees, so it’s completely free and it’ll be fun.”
Willa bit her lip and looked back out the window.
This felt an awful lot like a date.
But Shawn was her friend, and he’d insisted on them maintaining the friendship part of their arrangement, and he was just trying to cheer her up after a weird day. Plus, she had won a free, chartered boat ride with him. So no point in overthinking it.
Right?
Shawn was staring at her hesitantly. She beamed at him and threw her arms around his neck.
“Thank you,” she whispered into his ear. “But I have one stipulation.”
She pulled back and he grinned. “Name it.”
“I want you to fuck me on that boat.”
His eyes darkened and dropped to her mouth.
“I’ve never done it on a boat before,” she continued.
“Me neither.”
Her jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”
He shook his head, his lips curving up slowly.
“I don’t believe you.”
“There have certainly been… opportunities,” he said. “But I was always captaining the boat. And it felt unprofessional, not to mention unsafe.”
“So are you saying you won’t do it, then?”
He winked. “I might be willing to make an exception.”
It had beena long time since Willa had seen this much of the Bay. She grew up taking boat rides in the nooks and crannies of Perdido Bay, had gone back in the Bayous and rivers that only locals knew about, but it had been years.
Once her grandparents started getting older, it became more challenging for them to get the boat out and ready. She knew how to drive it, of course. She’d had a boating license since she was a teenager. But the upkeep and management of boat ownership became too much for her grandparents, and over the years, the boat rides became less and less.
Shawn took her all over the Bay, to all the places she remembered experiencing as a kid. All the while, he had a backwards cap on and a beer in his hand. She was feeling the inklings of a light buzz and leaned into Shawn’s side, then looked up at him.
His strong chin jutted out, and she wanted to run her fingers along his jawline. But such casual familiarity felt beyond the scope of their arrangement.
They’d been boating around for hours, occasionally tossing a line in the water to see if any fish would bite. They’d caught a few flounder and one trout, which Shawn said Willa could keep. She was itching to get home and filet them, maybe fry them for dinner or breakfast tomorrow.
The sun still shined brightly in the sky, and Willa suddenly felt the desire to swim.
“Can we anchor and jump in?” she asked him, her voice barely carrying over the sound of the engine.
He nodded. “We’re close to a good spot for that.”
A few minutes later, she was tossing the anchor in the water as he turned the boat off. They were in a relatively private area. Some boats went by occasionally, but it wasn’t the most popular spot for swimming or fishing. It was hidden away behind some grasslands with water deep enough that Willa couldn’t see the bottom.
She took off her shirt and shorts, and without preamble, she jumped into the water with a shriek. As she surfaced, she pushed her hair back and looked up at the boat. Shawn was nowhere to be seen.
“Shawn?” she asked, uncertain why she suddenly couldn’t see him.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, he came running toward the edge of the boat.
“CANNONBALL!” he shouted as he jumped in the water right next to her.
Willa started laughing so hard she couldn’t stop, even when he surfaced next to her and gave her an exasperated smile.
“You’re ridiculous,” she said.
He grabbed her and pulled her close to him, pressing a kiss to her lips.
“You don’t seem to mind it too much,” he said against her mouth.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged him closer, kissing him as they treaded water, feeling his muscular body against hers in the Bay.
“Is this the part where you fuck me on a boat?” she whispered.
He laughed and started swimming toward the back of the boat, where he’d released a ladder for them to climb back up. Once they got back on, she took a sip of her beer and laid out on the bow, allowing the sun to naturally dry her off.
“Thanks for this,” she said. “Today. The boat ride. All of it. I feel like a kid again.”
He laid down next to her on the front of the boat, resting his hands behind his head.
“You won the free chartered ride, fair and square,” he said.
“It’s more than that, and you know it,” she said, curling her body into his. “Thank you.”
He turned his face toward her and she pulled herself toward him before pressing her lips against his in a kiss that she hoped conveyed the depths of her gratitude. She kissed him lightly, at first, her lips barely skating over his. But it deepened as she kept going, her tongue swiping against his as she plunged into him, pressing her body against his. His hands came up to steady her hips as she straddled him, and she grinded against his length as she dragged the tips of her fingers up and down his muscled abdomen.
She sat up and admired him, and he gave her a quizzical look.
“You know, muscular guys are a dime a dozen in California,” she said, earning a pointed glare from Shawn. “But the first time I saw you, I knew these muscles were the real deal. From reeling in 100-pound fish and rebuilding the wharf after hurricanes.”
She pinched a bicep and then kissed him again, her hands splaying out on the soft ridges of his arms. Shawn rolled over their bodies so he laid on top of her and her back rested on the bow of the boat. He traced a thumb over the crook of her nose and the curve of her cheek, his eyes dark with lust and restraint and something else Willa couldn’t figure out.
Something tender.
“I love your freckles,” Shawn rasped. “I want to fucking memorize them.”
The breath whooshed out of Willa, but as she digested his words, he claimed her mouth in a scorching kiss. She couldn’t think about anything but the feel of his lips on hers, the way his body curved protectively around her as if hiding her from potential onlookers, the way his tongue moved with practiced precision against hers.
“If we’re going to do this, you have to be quiet and do as you’re told,” he whispered against her lips before consuming her with another kiss.
She smirked, then saluted him. “Yes, sir.”
His eyes narrowed. “Gonna have to fuck that sass right out of you.”
“Please,” she whimpered as he tugged her bikini bottoms down.
“That’s more like it,” he grinned devilishly at her, then tugged his swim trunks down and pulled a condom out of his back pocket. “This is going to be quick, but you’re going to come.”
“Have you had that with you the whole time?” Willa gasped, eyeing the condom in his hand.
“Been keeping ‘em in my wallet since we started hooking up,” Shawn said as he rolled the condom down his length. “Grabbed one after you laid out here in that tiny little bikini like you were begging me to make you come.”
With no preamble, he thrust into her so hard she thought she’d elevated to another plane. She moaned, and his hand came up to cover her mouth.
“I need you to be quiet, Greene,” he said. “Can you do that?”
Her eyes widened. He’d paused thrusting, his cock tauntingly deep inside her, and her body begged her to release another moan. But she nodded.
“You know where to let all your screams go,” he said, removing his hand, and she turned her head into the crook of his neck. “That’s right, baby. Save all those pretty noises for me.”
He thrust into her again.
Hard.
She whimpered.
“Fuck, baby,” Shawn grunted. “Love the way that pussy clenches around me.”
Again, and again, and again.
He thrust into her with such slow force that Willa was close to begging him to pick up the pace, to make her come already. But she couldn’t get out the words. Her breath came in slow spurts.
She longed to wrap her legs around him, but the way her bikini bottoms pooled at her knees made it impossible. She needed more—more friction, more force, more Shawn.
“I’m not gonna last, baby,” he said. “Fuck, you’re so goddamn perfect. Clenching my cock like you were made for me.”
Willa whimpered.
“Touch yourself,” he said. “I need you to come, baby.”
She reached between them and began circling her clit with her fingers. Shawn had brought her so close to the edge that it took only a few gentle strokes for her body to tremble with the force of her climax as she bit into Shawn’s shoulder. As she quivered underneath his body, she vaguely felt him trembling with the force of his own orgasm.
Shawn leaned back so he was level with her face. He dropped a soft kiss on her nose, then gently pulled out and tugged her bikini bottoms back up her body.
Willa closed her eyes, soaking in the sun and the looseness that came with her orgasm. After disposing of his condom, Shawn came back to where she was and laid down next to her again.
“Boat sex, check,” Willa said jokingly, her eyes still closed.
“Happy to be of service,” Shawn responded lightheartedly.
Willa turned to look at him. “Today has been perfect.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He lifted a hand to cradle her cheek, and she couldn’t help but lean into it. His warmth. His comfort.
Feeling overwhelmed by the intimacy of the moment, Willa sat up and put space between them. She was starting to feel things.
Things she promised herself she wouldn’t feel.
“Where are those sandwiches you brought?” she asked, rifling around in the supplies he’d put in one of the storage areas of the boat.
She pulled out a cooler that had finger sandwiches, chocolate strawberries, and a bottle of champagne. She lifted the champagne and looked at him quizzically.
“What kind of boat ride were you supposed to be taking the tour group on earlier?” she asked with a grin.
“It was a date,” he said. “For honeymooners.”
Her smile faltered and she put the champagne back in the cooler. This was beginning to feel like a date. But it wasn’t. Right? It was just two friends who liked hanging out and also happened to occasionally have mind-blowing sex.
Fuck. This was only weird if she made it weird.
Shawn clearly had no problems keeping it casual. He was a goddamn pro, actually. So she took a deep breath and made a mental note to call Charlie later to discuss whatever weird situationship she’d gotten herself into, and started eating the finger sandwiches.
“Sun’s setting soon,” Shawn said, grabbing a sandwich and stuffing it into his mouth in one bite. “Should probably start heading back.”
Willa nodded, eating silently as she pondered how much longer she could pretend she didn’t have feelings for this man.