Chapter 25
Holy fuck.
Every time she was with Shawn, it only got better. Every time she thought he’d given her an earth-shattering orgasm that could never be matched, he proved her wrong. And every time she was around him, she did things she couldn’t control.
Like let him eat her out in a weird alleyway behind a hotel, less than 100 yards away from his snooping grandmother.
She leaned against the countertop in the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She looked…fine. Not at all like she’d just been ravished by a fisherman who had no business looking that goddamn perfect in a tux. Shawn had fixed her makeup and hair perfectly, and she didn’t quite know what to make of how tenderly he helped her get cleaned up after being caught with his face buried between her legs.
“That man is in love with you.”
Willa tensed as Charlie’s statement brought her out of her head. She looked over her shoulder through the mirror at her. She was gazing at Willa with a mixture of bemusement and concern.
“What? No. We’re just friends. Fuck buddies.”
Charlie scoffed and shook her head. “I love you like a sister, but don’t be stupid.”
Willa huffed and turned around, crossing her arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Charlie winced. “Look, I’m sorry. That came out harsher than I intended. It’s just that… fuck buddies don’t look at you the way Shawn looked at you out there. And they sure as hell don’t clean the makeup off your face after they make you come so hard that you ruin a perfectly good face of makeup that shouldn’t get ruined at all because you used super expensive setting spray.”
Willa shifted. “Well, we do.”
“And that’s my point. You guys aren’t fuck buddies in anything but name. You’re in a relationship.”
Willa’s eyes widened. “No, we’re not!”
“I’m not trying to freak you out, but yes, you are. He comes over every day to hang out. Brings you gifts?—”
“The shrimp is not a gift! It’s bait.”
“Free bait. That’s a gift. For a weirdo like you, anyway.”
Willa sighed, and Charlie continued.
“He took you on a romantic boat ride?—”
“I told you, that was because honeymooners canceled on him and I won that prize at Bingo!”
“It was still a romantic boat ride where he made love to you?—”
“We fucked. That’s all.”
“You can try to convince me that man is only fucking you, but you’re wrong. If all the other stuff wasn’t true, this is: he looks at you like you’re the sun and he’s lucky as fuck to be a planet in your orbit. He did it yesterday when I met him, and he definitely did it when he picked us up. Barely even noticed I was there.”
“You’re over-exaggerating, Ch?—”
“Believe what you want. But he looked at you like that a few minutes ago, too. When he cleaned you up after going down on you.”
Willa bit her lip and took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. They had rules. They had been clear. Everything was going perfectly. Why was Charlie ruining it?
Except… maybe, she wasn’t ruining it. Maybe, a small part of Willa had feelings for him, too. Even though she knew she shouldn’t. Even though she didn’t completely trust herself after Leo. Even though she was so terrified of getting her heart broken again that she wanted to throw up.
“You’re freaking out,” Charlie said, and Willa nodded. “Of course you are. Leo fucked you up a little bit. But listen. I’ve never seen anyone look at you the way Shawn does. Like he’s the luckiest motherfucker in the world for existing in the same lifetime as you.”
Willa’s eyes burned.
“I can’t.”
A tear fell down her cheek, and she looked away from Charlie.
“Oh, Willa,” Charlie said, her voice full of compassion as she tugged a tissue from a box sitting on the countertop. She wiped Willa’s cheek and pulled her into a hug. “Loving people is scary. Letting them in… it’s terrifying. Why do you think I avoid it?”
Willa choked out a chuckle, and Charlie gave her a squeeze.
“But I think you might have feelings for him, too. And I’ll be so pissed at you if you pass up on a guy as good as Shawn. He’s a good one, babe. I can feel it.”
Willa pulled back from their hug and wiped her eyes one more time, then heaved a sigh. “I know you’re right. But I’m just so scared.”
“So tell him that. He seems like a reasonable guy.”
Willa closed her eyes and nodded. She knew Charlie was right. Her best friend sometimes knew her better than she knew herself. But she didn’t know if she was ready. Didn’t know how she could be ready.
“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing,” Charlie said. “You can just have a conversation with him. That’s it.”
Willa opened her eyes and nodded.
“But for now, let’s put more lipstick on you and head back before Ida comes searching for you, okay?” Charlie grabbed Willa’s purse and pulled out the lipstick.
“Does she think something is going on between me and Shawn?” Willa asked as she grabbed the lipstick from Charlie and opened it.
“Yes.”
“Fuck.”
“Relax. She can just see what I can see,” Charlie said, setting Willa’s purse on the countertop and smoothing back her hair. “That Shawn is an absolute goner for you.”
Willa’s stomach fluttered at the thought. Could Shawn really have feelings for her? He was different from other guys she dated. For one, he didn’t have a college education. Not that she cared. He made a good living for himself, and the community loved him. He took care of people, too. That was different from other guys she dated—most of them only looked after themselves. And then there was the fact that Shawn only ever wore swimsuits and t-shirts. All her exes had fancy suits and would never be caught dead wearing flip flops. Or having a man bun, for that matter.
And it really wasn’t about how Shawn was different from her exes, anyway. It was about whether she could take the leap and trust again—trust Shawn, yes, but mostly, trust herself. She didn’t know if she could.
Willa needed to put it out of her mind until Charlie left town. Or at least until after the Bingo Ball. She couldn’t overthink everything about Shawn while he was sitting right next to her. She squared her shoulders.
“Alright, let’s head in there.”
Charlie led the way into the ballroom, and Willa gasped as she stepped inside. She’d been to her fair share of fancy events over the years, so she knew she was looking at something of a professional caliber. At least now she knew why their tickets were $100. White table cloths covered the tables, and the lights were dimmed. Rather than table numbers, each table was labeled like a Bingo card—like B2 or I14 or O7. Cake pops decorated like Bingo balls were at the center of each table. At the front, a slideshow of Bingo regulars played. In the far right corner, Willa saw a booth that was clearly meant to be the voting station for Bingo King and Queen.
“Holy fuck,” Willa said under her breath.
“Watch your language, young lady,” Ida said from behind her.
Willa whirled around to find Ida holding a glass of red wine and extending one to her. “Thanks for the drink.”
“It’s for Charlie,” Ida said. Charlie giggled and grabbed the drink from Ida’s hand. “Where have you been, missy?”
Willa’s heart jolted. She’d never been a good liar.
“Found her in the bathroom,” Charlie said before Willa had the chance to respond. She took a casual sip, then continued, as if spilling hot gossip, “Willa’s having lady problems.”
Willa felt her face flush as she glared at Charlie, who was smirking behind her wine glass.
“Oh, dear,” Ida said. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Grams,” Willa said through clenched teeth. “All good. Just have some cramps.”
Willa was on the pill and hadn’t experienced period cramps in years. But she could fake them to get Ida off her back. She gently rested her hand on her stomach, then felt the hairs prick on the back of her neck.
Shawn was behind her. She knew it. She could feel it.
“Shall we go to our table, ladies?” he drawled from behind her.
“Not until you vote, Scoob,” Grams said. “I wore my best dress for this. I’ll be crowned Bingo Queen if it’s the last thing I do. And at my age, it very well might be.”
“I already voted for you, Grams,” Shawn said.
“Me, too,” Charlie chimed in.
“I guess I’m the only one who hasn’t,” Willa said with a sheepish smile. “I’ll go do that next.”
“Shawn will escort you,” Grams said before grabbing Charlie’s hand and heading off.
“That’s not necessary,” Willa responded.
“Of course it is,” Grams said. “Wouldn’t want the cramps to slow you down.”
Shawn came up beside her, and Willa kept her gaze on the floor. After the revelation she had in the bathroom, she was afraid to lock eye contact with him.
“Cramps?” he asked, his voice drenched with concern.
“Charlie told her I’m on my period,” Willa said. “You know. As an excuse.”
“Ahh.”
“Yeah.”
They stood there in silence for a moment before Shawn extended his arm to her. She gently rested her hand on his forearm as he led her toward the voting station. She walked up to a station with an iPad and selected Ida’s name. Apparently, to be eligible for Bingo Queen, you had to have attended at least 75 percent of the Bingo nights.
After she finished voting, they headed toward their table, where Charlie was animatedly chatting with Ida and her Bingo friends.
“Are you alright?” Shawn asked, his lips brushing Willa’s ear.
Goosebumps covered her body as desire coursed through her. “Fine. Why?”
“You’ve barely looked at me the past five minutes. Is it… Did I do something?”
Willa’s heart cracked, realizing her own discomfort was feeding Shawn’s insecurities. She stopped in her tracks and turned toward him, tracing his jawline with her forefinger. “Sorry. Just Charlie getting into my head about our… arrangement.”
“She disapproves?”
Willa sighed. Maybe she said too much, but she didn’t want to keep things from Shawn. She didn’t want to dive into this conversation right now, though. Preferably, she wanted to wait until after Charlie left—until she had some time to think about it.
“Not exactly,” she finally said. “But don’t worry about it. We’re all good.”
He stared at her for a beat longer, then nodded and led her to the table.
Something was off with Willa.That much he knew.
He wished he could’ve been a fly on the wall in the bathroom when she talked to Charlie earlier. He wished he could reassure her that everything was fine. He wished he could fix whatever it was that made her avert her gaze from him all night. He missed those ocean eyes, that piercing stare, that perfect smile.
He had barely kept his eyes off her all night, hard as he tried. He hoped Grams was too caught up in the race for Bingo Queen to notice. He couldn’t help it. She looked fucking perfect, and he swelled with male pride when he thought about how he made her come on his tongue earlier. The memories of that particular interaction had been replaying in his brain ever since.
Grams’ friend from Bingo, Mary, was accompanied tonight by her grandson, Wyatt. Shawn remembered that he was a doctor. Mary had mentioned it a time or two or twenty. Shawn tried to make small talk with him, but his attempts to take his mind off Willa failed miserably. And he couldn’t help but notice that Wyatt was eyeballing Charlie with a keen interest.
They’d eaten dinner and had done a ceremonial round of Bingo, which Nancy Siders won, much to the displeasure of everyone at their table. It was almost time to crown the Bingo queen. He glanced at Grams and saw that she was clutching her rosary and praying feverishly. He looked over at Willa and gave her a look that said, Are you seeing this? She giggled and nodded.
“Alright, folks,” Amos came over the intercom. “It’s time to crown our Bingo King and Queen.”
Grams grabbed the hands of the people next to her, which happened to be Charlie and Shawn. He gave her hand a squeeze and held back a laugh. He loved his grandmother and all her eccentricities. She’d never been crowned Bingo Queen before, so he hoped she would get it—only because he knew it’d make her so happy.
“Our Bingo King is Robert Ganden, by a landslide. Come on up here, Rob!”
Shawn clapped along with everyone else. He didn’t know Robert well, but he was roughly about 80 and he regularly came by the shop.
“And our Bingo Queen—by a hair—is Ida Gray!”
Shawn didn’t hear what came next because their entire table broke out in abrupt and overwhelming applause and shrieking. Grams looked thrilled and wiped away tears from her eyes. He didn’t realize how much this meant to her—that she would be moved to tears by winning. He sprung out of his seat and offered her his arm, which she accepted, and he escorted her onto stage.
As he made his way back to their table, he noticed Charlie and Willa both snapping pictures and videos with their phone. Willa shot him a wink, and he thought his heart would melt on the spot. He passed by Nancy Siders’ table and overheard her muttering to herself, looking full of disdain and anger.
Once settled back in his seat, he watched as his grandmother was crowned.
“Let’s have a round of applause for this year’s Bingo King and Queen!” Amos said through the microphone, to which everyone responded in kind with clapping. “And now, the inaugural dance. Feel free to join them on the dance floor, folks!”
A slow, jazzy song came over the speakers, and Shawn looked over at Willa with a lifted brow. Her eyes grew wide as he stood up and extended a hand to her.
“Dance with me?” he asked.
She bit her lip and looked over at Charlie briefly before accepting his hand and standing up.
He led her to the dance floor and pulled her close, placing one hand on her hip and grabbing her hand with his other. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Wyatt leading Charlie to the dance floor, and he grinned over Willa’s shoulder at him. In return, Wyatt gave him a thumbs up. Charlie rolled her eyes at the both of them.
Willa’s eyes stared pointedly at his chest as he led her in a slow dance, until he couldn’t take it anymore. Removing his hand from her hip, he used his forefinger to tilt her chin up.
“What’s going on, Greene?” he asked roughly.
She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
His heart shattered.
Was she going to end things with him? He knew it would happen at some point, but he thought it would be later. Down the road. He wasn’t sure if he could handle her walking away. Not when all he had to do to see her was peek out his front window and watch her cast a net like a pro in one of her little bikinis. Not when he knew now what she tasted like. Not when he’d buried his face between her thighs barely two hours ago.
“But this is nice,” she said, a hesitant grin tugging at her lips. “You’re a good dancer.”
He gave her the best smile he could muster. “Well, I’m sure you can figure out who to thank for that.”
“Ida?”
He nodded.
She leaned her head against his chest and he breathed her in.
“Remind me to thank her later, then,” Willa said.