Chapter 27
“Ican’t believe you’re already leaving me,” Willa said, her eyes burning.
She hadn’t expected to get so emotional over her best friend leaving, but they’d had an extraordinary weekend together. From the Bingo Ball to a full day on the boat yesterday, Charlie had gotten the full Bay experience—and Willa didn’t want her to leave. Yesterday’s boat outing was perfect.
Amanda and Layla had joined them, and as expected, they absolutely loved Charlie. Shawn took them all over the Bay to the ideal swimming and fishing spots. They’d had a picnic on a small island, where they anchored the boat for a couple of hours while searching for sand dollars and seashells. Then, all the girls came home and watched rom-coms until everyone fell asleep on the couch or floor, the coffee table littered with empty bags of chips and wine bottles.
“You left me first,” Charlie retorted, then pulled Willa in for a hug. “You’ve got a great life here, babe.”
Willa grinned, the past couple of months flitting through her mind. “I know. I just miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” Charlie said, pulling back. “But this is why you should answer me when I call.”
Willa laughed. “Fair enough.”
“I’ll come visit again soon.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
As Charlie pulled her suitcase out of the trunk and settled her backpack on her back, Willa leaned against the side of the Jeep.
“Wait, what happened with that guy?” she asked.
“What guy?” Charlie responded, avoiding Willa’s eyes.
“Don’t play dumb. Wyatt or whatever? Who you danced with at the Ball?”
“Ugh, that guy.” Charlie rolled her eyes. “He kept trying to, like, get to know me.”
“The horror,” Willa deadpanned.
“I offered him sex and he said no,” Charlie continued in a whisper, her voice dripping with disbelief.
“God forbid somebody says no to you.”
“That’s what I’m saying! And then he has the audacity to ask for my number?”
“Did you give it to him?”
“Of course not.”
Willa sighed and gave her best friend a grin. “Sorry I asked about it.”
“I forgive you,” Charlie winked. “So are you going to talk to Shawn?”
Willa’s stomach dropped. “Yes.”
She’d been doing her best not to think about it. But she knew she needed to be honest with Shawn and tell him she had feelings for him. The boat ride around the Bay was fun, but she knew he was confused. She’d barely talked to him all day unless absolutely necessary because she didn’t know how to look at him without giving away the fact that she was falling for him. And she didn’t know how he’d react to it. She barely even knew how she felt about it.
“Listen, babe. It’s going to be fine. Just tell him how you feel. Be honest.”
“Oh, is that all?” Willa asked.
“Easier said than done, I know,” Charlie smiled. “And I’m not exactly a perfect example for communicating feelings. But you can do it.”
Willa’s eyes burned. “Remind me why you have to leave?”
“I pay $3,000 to rent an apartment in SF.”
“Right, that.”
Charlie laughed and tugged her into another hug.
“Love you,” Charlie said.
“Love you, too.”
Shawn came prepared tonight.He’d asked Grams if she’d make some brownies today, to which she happily obliged, and he’d brought a small plate of them to Willa’s. He wanted to give her as many reasons as possible not to end their arrangement.
Taking Willa and her friends on the boat yesterday was fun, and when she’d asked him to do it, he was more than happy to help out. But she’d still been acting distant, and he was convinced she was ready to end it. He couldn’t allow that to happen.
“What’d Ida make me this time?” Willa asked as Shawn came into view on the wharf with the shrimp bucket in one hand and a plate of desserts in the other.
“Brownies,” Shawn responded, extending the plate to her.
She squealed, and he felt like things were finally normal between them. She pulled out a brownie and thrust it into her mouth, groaning in pleasure before licking her fingers slowly. He felt his mouth go dry at the sight of her, his cock hardening as she winked at him.
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Greene.”
She laughed. “Sorry. I wanted to talk, anyway. Then, maybe after…”
His heart soared. If she wanted to hook up after this, that meant she wasn’t ending it. Right?
He cleared his throat. “Oh. Okay. Cool.”
He inwardly flinched. He was trying way too hard to sound relaxed when he was anything but that.
“Want to sit down?”
They left the fishing rods on the table and sat in their usual chairs at the edge of the wharf. She turned to face him, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them into herself. She twiddled her thumbs where they were wrapped around her legs.
“So,” she said, then put her feet back on the ground and stood up, leaning against the railing. She crossed her arms, uncrossed them, then tugged her hair behind her ears. Giving him a quick glance, she said again, “So.”
Shawn smirked. “You said that already.”
She groaned and put her face in her hands. “Sorry. I’m nervous.”
Her voice broke on the last word, and Shawn stood up, put one hand under her knees and the other under her back, and picked her up. Willa yelped, and he sat back down, tugging her into his body. God, he could get used to this—holding her out here, burying his face in her hair, pressing her warm body into his.
He whispered against her ear. “You don’t have to be nervous around me.”
She shivered and buried her face in his chest. “I can’t help it.”
He tugged her closer, tucking her head under his chin. “What if you don’t look at me while you tell me whatever it is you want to tell me?”
She stilled, then took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore.”
Shawn’s smile dropped and his heart stuttered.
So he was right.
She was done with him.
He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, trying to calm himself down. He knew it would come to this eventually. Knew she’d grow tired of him, just like everyone else had. And he had nobody to blame but himself for agreeing to this in the first place. He had to let her go. Would she want to remain friends? He wasn’t sure he could handle that—at least, not right away. But maybe down the road?—
“Shawn?”
The way Willa said his voice made him realize she’d been trying to get his attention for a few moments. She placed her hands on his cheeks, tugging his gaze down to meet hers.
“Shawn?” she said again.
“If that’s what you want,” he said.
“Wait, Shawn. It’s not because—fuck, I’m really screwing this up.” She dropped her hands from his cheeks and buried her face in her palms.
“It’s okay, Willa.”
“No, Shawn. It’s not,” she lifted her face to his again. “I’m… Fuck, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore because I have feelings for you.”
Her voice trailed off as she spoke until it was barely a whisper. Shawn jolted, hope and shock coursing through him.
“And I can’t… I can’t just be friends with benefits anymore. I don’t… Fuck.” She buried her face in his chest, and Shawn’s arms tightened around her.
“I have feelings for you, too,” he whispered. “Been trying to pretend like I don’t for weeks now.”
Willa gasped, gazing up at him. “Really? Charlie said…”
“What?” Shawn asked when she trailed off.
“Charlie said she thought you might. The way you looked at me or something.”
Shawn chuckled. “And how do I look at you?”
Willa bit her lip. “Charlie was a bit melodramatic about it, actually. Something about how I’m the sun.”
The sun, the stars, the moon, every fucking planet in the galaxy.
But the sun was good enough for now.
Shawn kissed her. “Sounds about right. So why were you nervous to talk to me about this, baby?”
The endearment he usually saved for sex slipped out before he could stop himself, and she gave him a tentative grin before burying her face in his chest again.
“I’m scared,” she whispered, eyes watering. “After Leo. I’m fucking terrified. I don’t… I can’t go through that again. And I don’t trust myself when it comes to picking guys. I’ve always ended up getting hurt.”
His heart splintered as he watched a couple of stray tears roll down her face. He cradled her cheeks in his hands, brushing them away with his thumbs. If he ever met this Leo guy, Shawn was going to punch first and ask questions later. He hoped for all their sakes that they never crossed paths.
“I’m gonna fucking kill that guy,” Shawn said, earning him a humorless chuckle from Willa. “I know there’s not much I can say to make you feel better about this. We’ll have to figure it out as we go. But here’s what I can promise: I’ll always be honest with you. Always. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you trust me.”
“It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s me,” Willa whispered, tears streaming down her face as she let out a humorless chuckle. “My therapist and I are working on it.”
Shawn rubbed his thumb along her lips. “I’m proud of you for getting the help you need. Listen, baby. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever. And I don’t want to freak you out, but I’m all in on this. On you. On us. So whatever you need to feel good about it, I’ll give you.”
He was pretty sure he’d give her anything she wanted. She had him wrapped around her slender finger. But she’d figure that out eventually.
“So what do you need?” Shawn asked. “What can I say or do to make you feel better?”
Willa pressed her lips together in a firm line. “I still don’t think I’m ready to tell Ida. I’m just worried about the pressure she might put on us. I want to keep it just to us for now. While we figure things out.”
Shawn was a little disappointed—only because he wanted to scream from the rooftops that she was his. But he understood, so he nodded.
“I want…” she continued, but trailed off. “Can I call you my boyfriend?”
He beamed at her. “I would love nothing more.”
She fidgeted nervously. “Has there been anyone else? Since we’ve been… you know. I won’t be mad. I told you to date. I just want to know, you know? Just so I can?—”
He cut her off with a kiss.
“There hasn’t been anyone else since you walked into my bait shop looking like a goddamn queen.” She blushed, and he kissed her cheek. “What else, baby?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest. “I guess nothing else, for now. I just might be a little paranoid for a while. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said, planting a peck on her head. “Now if I ever meet that fucker, Landon, on the other hand…”
“Leo?” Willa laughed. “I’d love to see that interaction.”
“Let’s hope for everyone’s sake that it never happens.”
She sighed happily.
“One more thing,” he said, fishing his phone out of his pocket and handing it to her. “My code is 7-9-4-5. Grams’ birthday.”
She looked at the phone in her hands, then back up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “What…?”
“You can look at my phone whenever you want,” he said. He’d been thinking about this for a while—giving her this kind of access to him would undoubtedly show her that she was the only girl he would be talking to aside from Grams. And maybe Hanna. “I won’t change the code. That’s been my code for years.”
“Shawn,” Willa’s voice broke, and a tear slid down her cheek.
“I want you to trust me. But I want you to trust yourself. And having access to my phone whenever you want… I think it’ll help.”
She bit her lip as he wiped away her tears.
“Thank you,” she whispered, burying her face in his chest.
“Does this mean I can finally take you on a date?” Shawn asked.
She grinned at him and nodded, then weaved her fingers into his hair and tugged him closer until she devoured him with a kiss. Her lips pressed firmly against his as she tugged his bottom lip into her mouth, then worked to open his mouth more. He succumbed to her, his tongue lapping against hers. It was slow and loving, unlike their other rough kisses. There was an intimacy to it.
Willa tugged her legs over him until she was straddling him, her core grinding up against his growing length.
“Let’s go inside,” he whispered against her lips. “The first time you come around my dick as my girlfriend is going to be in your bed where I can see every inch of your perfect body.”
She shuddered, then nodded, standing up slowly as she grabbed his hand and led him to the house. The moment they got into the kitchen, he tossed her over his shoulder as she let out a little shriek. He rested his hand on her rear and carried her to her bedroom as quickly as his feet could carry him. He tossed her on the bed, and she peered up at him through half-lidded eyes.
“Strip,” he commanded.
Shawn watched Willa as she methodically tugged off a crop top and those little shorts she liked to sleep in. She wore nothing underneath, and it took everything in him not to immediately pepper her body with kisses.
He walked over to her bedside table and opened up the drawer, finding exactly what he suspected. Grinning to himself, he picked up a bright pink vibrator. As he walked over to her, she squirmed, a pretty flush covering her cheeks. Grabbing her ankles, he tugged her to the edge of the bed and palmed her pussy.
“Drenched, as usual,” he said.
Turning on the vibrator, he pressed it against her core. She trembled as he dragged it up her belly and over her tits. He watched her nipples bud as he circled them with the tip of the vibrator.
“Shawn,” she whimpered. “Please.”
Bringing it back to her core, he rested it against her entrance tauntingly as she tried to grind against it. He pressed her hips down, forcing her to still as he continued to tease her.
“Remind me again what you think about when you use this, Willa,” Shawn said.
Willa whimpered.
“You,” she said between pants. “Always you.”
He plunged it inside her and she screamed, her body convulsing. He thrust it in and out of her at a tauntingly slow place, watching her body trembling, her breathless whimpers piercing the gentle buzz of the vibrator. God, she was fucking gorgeous like this. Naked and screaming, completely at his mercy. His body begged him to touch her—to take off his clothes and tangle his limbs in hers.
But not yet.
Keeping his pace steady, he slowly knelt before her. Her eyes widened as she realized what he was doing. He hovered his mouth over her clit and she moaned. She tasted so fucking good, like absolute perfection. He’d die a happy man for tasting her more times than he could count. He licked her softly, slowly picking up the pace of the vibrator’s thrusts with his hand. Then he buried his face in her, sucking and licking her clit, putting an increasing amount of pressure on it in tune with the thrusts of the vibrator.
Her body grew taut, then loose as she orgasmed, screaming his name and burying her face into the bed.
“I love watching you come,” Shawn growled as he tugged his shirt over his head. He smirked as Willa’s eyes dipped from his face to his chest and torso. She licked her lips. “See something you like?”
She blushed and nodded as he took his pants off.
His erection sprang free as he tugged his boxer briefs down, a bead of pre-cum dripping from the head of his cock. He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under Willa’s lower back, then hovered over her, grinding against her entrance. Her arousal coated his cock, and she groaned as she sought friction against him.
“Shawn, please,” she panted.
He thrust his cock inside her, and she instantly clenched around him. Their naked limbs tangled together, a welcome relief after he’d made her come with every item of his clothing still on. Her soft, warm body pressed against his as he thrust into her painfully slowly, savoring the tightness of her pussy.
He pressed his lips gently to hers as he increased the speed of his thrusts, the pillow underneath her giving him the perfect angle to slide so deep into her that he perfectly hit her G spot. Her eyes glazed over as he rested his forehead against hers.
Willa was perfect like this. Relaxed from her earlier orgasm while desperately seeking the bliss of another. Taking his cock like she was fucking built for him. Completely bare and vulnerable before him, her auburn hair messily splayed out around her head. Her freckles had increased over the summer—all that time in the sun had given her more, and he fucking loved it.
But mostly, he loved the way she looked at him. Like she was hungry and satiated all at once. With tenderness and ferocity.
“I’ll do everything I can to earn your trust, Greene,” he said as her legs started trembling underneath the weight of a building orgasm. “Just know that you’re it for me. You’re all I want. This perfect pussy is mine. You’re mine. And I’m yours.”
She screamed with the power of another orgasm, and he followed after her as her pussy milked his cock perfectly. He collapsed on top of her, unwilling to pull out of her just yet.
He stiffened.
“Fuck,” he said. “I forgot to use a condom.”
He pulled out of her immediately and buried his face in his hands.
“It’s okay,” Willa said softly, sitting up and wrapping her arms around his center.
“No, it’s not,” Shawn said. “You asked me to wear a condom every time, and I?—”
“I don’t care anymore.” He looked at her, eyes wide. Willa sighed. “I only made up that rule because… I guess, on some level, I thought it would help me not catch feelings. Obviously, that didn’t work out.”
She smirked at him, and his shoulders dropped with relief. “I thought you were worried that after my sexual history, I’d be… unclean.”
“You told me you aren’t,” she responded.
“Still,” he said. “I just thought…”
“I don’t care about your past, Shawn,” Willa said. “I just care about this. Right here. Right now.”
He beamed at her and tugged her into his lap, pressing a kiss on her forehead. She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment before standing up, grabbing his hand, and leading him into the bed.
“I, uh…” Shawn cleared his throat as he got into bed next to her. “Not sure I can handle round two yet.”
She laughed. “I know. I was just thinking…” she curled her body into his, running her fingers along his chest and resting her head on his shoulder. “You should spend the night.”
Shawn tightened his grip on her body and tugged her closer. “I’d love to.”
He shot a quick text to Grams that he’d be home late and not to wait up, hoping she wouldn’t read too much into it.
“Maybe tomorrow you can bring a toothbrush here,” Willa sleepily whispered. “And some clothes.”
Shawn thought his heart would burst from happiness, as he gently moved wisps of hair out of her face.
Exhausted from the orgasms he gave her earlier, Willa quickly drifted, her eyes shuttering as her breathing turned heavy. He watched her fall asleep, still disbelieving that she was really his. And as she started lightly snoring, he whispered into her hair, “I love you,” before shutting his eyes and falling asleep.