Chapter 12
JETT
TWO WEEKS LATER
Ethan hasn’t texted or called since that day in the library and it’s grating on my nerves.
Not that I should complain. I wanted him to get lost, but now that he has, I feel oddly upset about it.
I thought that maybe we were actually going to be friends.
Even though I don’t think of him in a friendly way.
Far from it. In fact, I’d give anything to wipe that cocky grin off his smug face.
Only, I can think of several ways to do it and they’re all dirty as hell.
I’ve never cursed a guy and wanted him so much at the same time, and I’m fucking confused.
While he hasn’t reached out, it seems like everywhere I go, there he is. I rationalize it and tell myself it’s a coincidence. Sutton isn’t a big school, and we’re bound to run into each other.
Right?
I saw him a week ago at the committee meeting for the national competition.
I expected Ethan to take the seat next to mine so he could talk my ear off, so I was surprised when he stayed on the other side of the room.
There was only one moment near the end of the discussion when he made eye contact with me, and the intensity of it, fuck, I swear I was about to melt right into my chair.
For a guy who doesn’t want to talk to me, he sure does like to stare.
It’s probably my overactive imagination running wild.
He’s trying to mess with you again. In your face one moment and ignoring you the next.
Whatever, I’m not interested in any game he’s playing.
Thank fuck it’s the weekend. Not that I get time to rest. Our crew has a morning practice today and then a regatta race tomorrow. Then next week, when the visiting college teams descend on campus, we have several races.
I head down to the lake early, determined to clear my mind of all thoughts about a certain hockey player who is occupying way too much of my time. Only, the man in question is standing on the dock.
“What are you doing here?”
Ethan turns around and gives me a long once-over. There’s a toothpick stuck between his lips, and when he pulls it out of his mouth and smiles at me, my cock takes notice. Fucking hell, why him?
“I’d think it’s obvious. I’m waiting on you,” Ethan states.
“Kinda strange since you don’t want to say a word to me anymore.”
I sound like a petulant brat. I feel like one too.
“I’ve had a lot going on with hockey. Practice and games. Plus everyone’s feeling out of sorts with Jace and Finn leaving.”
Oh. Right. Shit. My snappy mood evaporates just like that.
“I’m sorry. That’s gotta be rough. I know you’re happy for them, but it’s also a big loss for your team.”
“Not only for the team. They’re my friends. And I’m sure this is only the beginning. More guys will be leaving.”
“Does that include you?”
Ethan shrugs. I don’t know why, but my gaze lands on his hair. It’s grown out a bit, not quite long enough to style, but it still suits him.
“I hope so.” He pauses. “That’s the goal.”
“So, you’ll be off to play professional hockey. Before you finish your degree?”
“It’s possible. If it happens, I can complete my degree online.”
“I wonder what’ll happen if Dane does the same,” I muse. “I mean, what will happen with him and Jackson.”
“I’m sure they’ll find a way to stay together somehow. Those two can’t be separated.”
I smile.
“I guess it’s a good thing you don’t like relationships, then. That means you can head off wherever, whenever, and never look back.”
Ethan doesn’t say anything. He keeps gazing at me like he’s looking for answers and he expects me to give them.
“Going back to my original question, why are you here?”
“I needed to see you. I promise I won’t interfere with your practice. I just want to watch.”
A shiver passes through me, but I ruthlessly ignore it.
“It’s a free lake. I can’t stop you.”
“And after, we can go have a bite or something?”
It sounds like he’s asking me out.
Yeah, right.
“The Crew are heading to Boots,” I counter. “But you’re welcome to join us.”
“I will. Thanks.”
Ethan steps forward into my personal space, and I’m suddenly self-conscious about my tight uniform again. Which is pretty funny considering it’s never bothered me before. I start to sweat and that’s not helping matters.
“I’m glad to see Renner has stopped harassing you,” he adds.
“How do you know that?”
“I’ve been keeping tabs on him. Just to make sure he doesn’t try anything stupid.”
“Gee thanks, but I don’t need a fucking bodyguard. What the hell, Ethan?”
“There’s something not right with that guy. I don’t trust him.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need it.” I wave a hand down my body. “In case you can’t tell, I’m a big boy and I take care of myself.”
“Oh, I’ve noticed.”
Ethan’s gaze rakes over my body in a long, slow perusal that is anything but casual.
My heart thrums wildly, and I haven’t even hit the water yet.
When he finally glances up at my face, I want to look away.
If it were anyone else, I’d be inclined to take him up on his interest. But I refuse to read anything into it.
Ethan likes to mess with me, that’s all.
He’s straight.
Are you sure? He said he wasn’t.
“Why are you so interested in rowing all of a sudden?”
“I started watching the videos you post. They’re unexpectedly addictive. I might even try my hand at it.”
“You’d need a few lessons first.”
“So, teach me.”
“I don’t have the—”
I hear footsteps behind me and pause, turning to find Lin walking toward us. Thank God for Coach’s timing.
“Walker, isn’t it?” Lin states as he joins us. “You’re back. Have you decided to give up hockey and join the Crew?”
“No sir.” Ethan smiles. “But I am interested in getting to know more about the sport. And I want Jett to teach me everything.”
Ethan’s words are innocent, but my mind goes right to sex. As if reading my thoughts, Ethan winks at me.
“Too bad he doesn’t have time right now,” Lin replies. “However, we’re doing a light practice today. You’re welcome to hop in my boat to get a better understanding of how things work on the water. When it’s not frozen.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
Great, now I’ll have Ethan watching me from start to finish. Whatever. I probably won’t even realize he’s there. When I get in the zone, I stay that way. Nothing and no one distracts me.
Within minutes, the rest of the Crew arrive and Ethan charms them all, even Lin, who doesn’t take to people easily. The longer Ethan chats, the more irritated I get. He’s not here to see me, he’s interested in the sport. It rankles even though I don’t understand why.
Finally, Lin motions for us to grab Okto and get in the water. Ethan walks past, offering me a warm smile, before he follows Lin to his boat.
“What’s up with him?” Archie asks.
“What do you mean?”
“What’s Ethan doing here on a Saturday? And don’t tell me he’s got a sudden interest in rowing.”
“It’s Jett in his uniform,” Hudson cackles.
“Fuck off.”
“The sexual tension’s so hot, my friend,” Hudson continues with a smirk. “Fuck it out already before you two set the dock on fire.”
“He’s not… I mean, I don’t—” I pause, too flustered to speak. “Please drop it.”
“Hudson has a point,” Archie adds as he studies me, and then he glances over at Ethan, who waves at us. “Ethan can’t take his eyes off you.”
“No shit. He’s been following me and Renner around campus. He thinks my ex might try something stupid.”
“Whoa, Ethan’s doing what?” Archie whispers.
“Not like that. He thinks Renner’s up to something.”
“Have you and Ethan, you know—” Archie starts.
“No.” I swallow hard. “Absolutely not.”
Hudson nudges my arm.
“Are you sure? He looks like he wants to devour you.”
“Are you guys coming or what?” Felix interrupts, and not a moment too soon.
I try to forget about this entire conversation as we get Okto into the water and push off the dock.
With Ethan in the boat not far away, however, I’m finding it difficult to breathe, never mind row.
The wind’s picked up and big clouds roll in. There’s no rain or lightning, but there’s a heaviness to the air and it feels like a storm’s coming.
After several rocky strokes, Felix gives me a look that says get your head out of your ass and do it now.
Ethan’s a spectator, nothing else, I tell myself.
Once we’re five minutes in, my muscles are loose and my head’s finally on track.
Despite the clouds, it’s a perfect fall day, crisp and cool.
I think about the regatta tomorrow, and bringing home that win is the only thing I want.
Well, one of the things. I also want to ace my next term paper, and maybe find a cute guy to flirt with.
I might not be looking for another relationship, but there’s no harm in a fun hookup.
In fact, given how frustrated I’ve been lately, it’s exactly what I need.
Lin and Felix put us through gentle paces, and I’m uncharacteristically aware of Ethan watching me the whole time we’re training.
It doesn’t put me off course, but it takes everything I have to remain calm and in control—and to not push too hard.
For some weird reason, I want to show off, and that’s not like me at all.
I row because I want to beat my best, I want to win, not because I want adulation.
After forty-five minutes, Lin signals that we’re done. It’s never good to push too hard the day before a race; it’s about getting ourselves primed for the big event.
When we make it back to the dock, we haul our gear out of the water, and once everything’s locked up, Ethan joins us.
“So, when can we start my lessons?” he asks me.
“You’re not gonna let that go either?”
Ethan shakes his head.
“I’ll do it,” Iggy volunteers.
Archie and Hudson give Iggy a look, and he shrugs his shoulders.
“What? I have time on Wednesdays. I’m just saying.”
“I already promised Ethan,” I interrupt, even though I did no such thing. “And I don’t go back on my word.”
The second part is true. Ethan smiles at me and then at my teammate.
“Thanks for the offer, Iggy. If Jett cancels, I’ll take you up on it.”
“No problem.”
Ethan turns to me and offers his hand. “Here, give me your backpack.”
The Crew goes silent as everyone stares at us.
“I can manage, but thanks.”
“I’m starving,” Hudson remarks and breaks the tension. “I think I need three burgers.”
“Don’t do that,” Archie replies. “We don’t want extra weight in the shell.”
“But I’ll shit it out before the race.”
Everyone groans at Hudson’s gross reply.
“There’s still time for you to escape,” I warn Ethan.
“Are you kidding?” He chuckles. “This is like being with the Cougars. I feel right at home.”
We start off, and while the rest of the Crew get involved in another bizarre conversation about Hudson’s personal habits, Ethan stays back and walks beside me.
For some reason, I can’t help but push my luck.
“You’re talking to me again,” I whisper. “What’s with this hot and cold routine? Do you treat all your friends this way?”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” Ethan admits. “Trying to figure something out. I still don’t have the answer, and I guess I’m preoccupied.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“It has everything to do with you, Jett.”
The sharpness of his tone has my pulse jumping.
“Well, maybe we should nod politely when we see each other and leave well enough alone,” I suggest. “Forget the friend thing. It was never going to work out anyway.”
“I agree with you on that. I don’t think of you in a friendly way.”
Ouch, that was direct. Thankfully my teammates are now way ahead of us. There’s no chance they heard any of that. I hope.
“Fine,” I hiss and begin to pick up my pace, anxious to get away from him.
“It’s more than that,” he calls after me. “And you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
I pause for a second, then keep walking.
“No. No, I don’t.”
“You can’t lie to me, Jett. I see the way you look at me.”
This time I stop and turn around.
“And how is that?”
Ethan’s gaze is full of sardonic amusement, and it makes me want to scream.
“I know you want me.”
I feel like I’ve swallowed a box of firecrackers and they’re exploding inside me all at once. Ignoring the rush, and Ethan’s blunt statement, I shake my head.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t lie. I know when someone wants me. I see the way you look at me. And you sure as fuck know how I’ve been looking at you. I’ve hardly done anything the past two weeks besides obsess over you. Every fucking day, every night. I can’t think about anything else. Why do you think I’m here?”
I don’t know what’s more shocking, Ethan’s confession or the fact that I’m feeling the same. Instead of leaning into my instinct, I pick safety.
“I don’t believe you.”
Ethan steps towards me, and I take a step back. The trail is lined with trees, and I lean against one, needing the support since my legs are about to give out.
“There’s only one way to prove to you that I’m telling the truth,” he whispers and crooks his finger at me.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Don’t dare me, Sugar.”
Ethan’s gaze goes from flirty to determined in a heartbeat.
I wonder what he’s like when he really lets loose. Do I want to find out?
“Okay, I won’t deny that there’s tension between us,” I confess. “But that doesn’t mean anything. It’s hormones; it’ll pass.”
“If it’s no big deal, kiss me.”
I start to tremble.
“No.”
“Afraid of how good it’ll be? That you might want more? That you might not want to stop?”
“You’re so fucking full of yourself.”
“Then take my ego down a notch.”
My blood is pumping hot and fast, and I don’t realize what I’m doing until I reach for Ethan’s shirt and yank it, pulling him toward me.
“You asked for it.”