Chapter 25
JETT
THREE DAYS LATER
The rest of the week’s gone by in a blur of student events, rowing races, and hockey games.
But all that’s going to change tonight. It’s the last day of the college competitions and it’s going to end with a bang.
That is, a concert on the quad, fireworks, and later, sex with Ethan.
We haven’t had a moment alone since the night he fucked me, and I can’t wait any longer.
The Cougars are playing their hockey final today, but I’m missing it because I’ve got my own race to compete in.
I wish I could be there cheering Ethan on, and he feels the same about me, but we can’t change the scheduling.
It’s a good indicator of what lies ahead.
If Ethan and I make a real go of this, there are going to be times when we can’t be together.
“Why the sad face, Jett?”
I glance over at Archie and shake my head.
“I’m not sad, I’m thinking.”
“About?”
“The pitfalls of dating an athlete.”
Archie looks at me quizzically. “I thought things were good with you and Ethan?”
“They are. Amazing. But you know me. I’m a worrier, always thinking ahead.”
“Save that for later. All you need to think about for the next half hour is this race.”
“You’re right.”
I push my thoughts about Ethan and our relationship aside and focus on what needs to be done.
Once we get Okto into the water and get settled in our seats, the race-day nerves kick up fierce and fast. We’re starting a bit later due to an early-morning rainstorm, so the wind’s not as calm as it usually is.
Lin crouches down on the dock to offer us his last-minute advice.
“The wind is from the southeast and it’s not letting up. It’s going to be a challenging row. Jett, Iggy, we’re depending on you to manage the pace and stay strong. Remember to focus on your core, follow through with every stroke, and most important of all, listen to Felix.”
We’re competing against U Conn, as well as Seattle College and Savannah State.
I glance at the shoreline, and there’s a line of students wearing their respective team colors.
Ethan isn’t there, but I know that he’s thinking of me.
This morning, after we shared coffee and kisses, I gave him one of my silver necklaces for good luck, and he gave me one of his hockey jerseys.
I’ve got it sitting in my bag, and I plan to put it on the moment the race is done.
“Sit ready,” Felix calls out and gives us a thumbs up. “Countdown.”
We’ve got this.
The familiar routine of calling out our numbers helps to settle my nerves.
I grip the handle of my oar and offer up a silent thank you to my crew, my coach and my family.
There’s no second place in my mindset. If we clinch this race, we get top college standing.
It’s not an Olympic medal, but it’s still something to be proud of.
I’ve trained in this sport for years, and it kept me going at times when I thought my life was over.
Rowing is all about perseverance. I’ll achieve whatever I set my mind to, whether that’s a race or a degree or anything else I want to accomplish.
Most of all, I want to do my family proud. And myself and now, Ethan too.
With my hands steady and my heart full, I glance at Felix and nod.
I’m ready.
When he nods back, we’re ready.
The announcer gives the opening signal.
“Ready all and… row!”
We spring into action, our blades slicing through the water. Only a few strokes in, and Lin is right. Setting the pace isn’t easy today. I can feel the wind working against us, and it takes every ounce of skill I have to push firmly with all my power while trying to maintain a steady, even rhythm.
“Nice and smooth,” Felix encourages, telling us not to rush. “Nice and smooth. That’s it. Draw in all the way to your ribs.”
He wants a full, powerful drive, and we’re giving it to him, one relentless stroke at a time.
I can already feel the sweat gathering at the base of my spine, dampening my uniform.
I focus on my breathing; inhale during the recovery and exhale on the drive.
My body slips into the zone that all athletes know and crave, where effort and instinct merge.
It’s addictive and why we keep coming back for more.
“Hold your core,” Felix directs us. “Legs on, legs on.”
Our coxswain urges us to drive with more intensity and we’re doing it, pushing hard. My quads burn and my back aches, and I lean into the pain. The air runs cool over my skin, the spray of water a welcome relief as I push and pull, back and forth, over and over.
“Work the middle. Work it.”
Then it happens—the moment everything syncs.
The crew hits its collective rhythm, eight bodies moving in absolute unison.
The boat surges, smooth and powerful, and the rush is undeniable.
This is what we race for, the fleeting perfection of our sport.
It’s fucking incredible, and hard to beat.
It makes every ounce of pain and sweat worthwhile.
But the race isn’t over yet.
With each stroke, I’m ramping up, pushing harder, guiding my crew to do the same.
“Push through,” Felix encourages. “Looking good.”
He signals when we pass the halfway mark, but there’s no letting up now. I’m grunting louder and pushing strong with each stroke, and so are my teammates. We all want this win badly.
“That’s it, push through. Push through!”
We’re racing at a clip that feels faster than any of our previous regattas.
There’s so little resistance it’s like my oar is slicing through butter instead of water.
It’s my adrenaline talking, but I don’t question it.
The faster we go, the harder we drive. I feel like I’m on top of the fucking world.
“Take it!” Felix calls out, and the excitement in his voice is undeniable. “Take it!”
We’re getting close to the end. So close.
Fuck, I don’t want to win this race; I want to annihilate our previous record.
“Finish strong,” Felix commands.
Almost there, almost there…
I’m giving it my all as I make every stroke count. I can hear students cheering in the distance. Even though Ethan isn’t watching, I can picture him clearly in my head—his smile, his voice. It gives me that last-minute boost, propelling me to drive as hard as I can.
“We got this!” Felix calls out. “Last two. Last two! Make them count.”
Only a couple more strokes and the race is over.
Can we do it?
It has to be enough because every inch of my body is throbbing with strain.
“It’s ours,” Felix encourages. “It’s ours!”
My lungs burn and my eyes water as I make my final stroke.
“We did it! Let it run, guys, let it run!”
It’s a painfully exquisite relief to pull our oars out of the water, and we begin to drift. Fucking hell, that was the most exciting race of my life.
“We won!” Archie shouts behind me.
I’m gasping for air, and finally allow my gaze to drift around the lake. Lin’s in his nearby boat smiling and waving at us.
We really did it. Holy shit.
My vision goes blurry, and I realize I’m crying. Felix puts his hand in the water and splashes us in celebration. Lake water mixes with my tears and sweat, and I turn my head to look back at my crew.
We’re all the same—smiling ear to ear, wet, emotional, ecstatic.
“I think we set a new college record,” Felix announces. “You guys were fire!”
I bend over, my face between my knees as I try to suck in air. I feel a hand on my back, and I look back and nod at Iggy.
“I’m good,” I pant. “Overwhelmed, but good.”
“No shit,” Iggy chuckles. “We upset U Conn again. We’re college champions!”
A half hour later, on dry land, we accept our medals and take a ton of photos, including selfies.
I send a few pictures to my grandparents and to Ethan even though I know he won’t see them until later.
Glancing at the time, I realize that his hockey game should be finishing up soon.
I quickly slip on Ethan’s jersey and join Jackson as we say goodbye to our crew.
We’re all meeting up tonight at the closing concert, so we’ll celebrate as a team later.
By the time Jackson and I make it to the rink, the third period is winding down.
The Cougars are playing Boston U, and the game is tied 3–3, with less than ten minutes remaining.
It’s still anyone’s game.
There’s a scrum near Boston’s goalie, and several players, including Ethan, hit the boards with a reverberating crunch. My stomach knots as I wait to see if he’s okay and shit, I’m more nervous now than I was for my own race.
“Does it ever get any easier?” I ask Jackson.
“Watching your boyfriend play in a contact sport?” Jackson shakes his head, his curls bouncing. “Nope. It still makes me anxious, and I’ve been going to Dane’s games since he and I were in high school.”
All the seats are taken, but since I’m one of the event ambassadors, we get to stand behind the boards and watch from there.
Coach Banning calls for a time out, and my eyes scan the ice for number sixteen. I spot Ethan with Dane and Axel; I can’t help but smile when I notice my boyfriend talking a mile a minute and gesturing wildly. Despite the hit, he’s fine.
I don’t call out his name, though, because I don’t want to distract him.
Then I don’t need to.
Ethan looks around, and when he spots me in the crowd, he breaks into a wide grin. I smile back and hold up my medal. Ethan raises both arms in the air and offers a loud cheer that has his teammates glancing our way. I nudge Jackson, who holds up his medal too.
I swallow past the huge lump in my throat and blink away the tears that threaten.
I’ve celebrated my wins with friends and family, but now with Ethan, it means even more.
He’s an athlete so he gets it; he gets me.
We both have a need to be the best at what we do, to take risks, to push ourselves to our limits and then some.
We’ve made sacrifices to get to where we are, but it’s worth it.
And I know in my heart that we’re worth it.