Chapter 8 #2
“No.” I choke out a sob. My legs give out from underneath me, and I sink onto the floor, the test clattering against the tile beside me. Tears stream down my cheeks, and my stomach churns as another wave of nausea strikes.
This can’t be happening.
I bury my face in the palms of my hands as a sob breaks free despite my efforts to stop it.
Shock and fear crash over me at once, leaving me feeling helpless.
One night. One life-altering mistake that can’t be fixed.
Curling forward, I wrap my arms around myself and begin to rock back and forth.
“What have you done?” I say to the empty room.
I’m still on the bathroom floor when there’s an audible gasp coming from behind me, followed by a familiar voice, “Oh shit.”
I turn my head toward the doorway, shock ripping through me so fast my pulse stutters. “London?” I croak.
She’s standing there in the doorway, frozen in place. With her is Promise, one hand lifted to her mouth. Sadie stands slightly off to the side, eyes wide with shock. For a split second, none of them says anything. Then London’s gaze drops to the floor beside me. Sadie and Promise’s gazes follow.
“Oh shit,” London repeats, the word barely louder than a whisper.
“Oh my God, Ruby,” Promise follows. The shock on her face softens instantly, replaced by something raw and worried. Promise’s eyes fill with concern she clearly isn’t trying to hide, and Sadie presses a hand to her chest as if she’s trying to steady herself.
“We knocked,” Sadie says quietly, her voice trembling. “When you didn’t answer, London used her key.”
I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. An array of emotions crashes down on me all over again. I hadn’t been ready for this alone, so there’s no way I’m ready for it with an audience.
London recovers first. “Okay,” she says with a no-nonsense tone, stepping fully into the bathroom. “We’re not having this conversation on the floor.” Promise and Sadie follow her in, all three of them suddenly crowding the small space.
Promise kneels beside me immediately, her movements careful, gentle. “Hey,” she says softly, like she’s afraid I might shatter. “You don’t have to say anything right now. We’re here.”
Sadie crouches, too, her eyes never leaving my face. “You’re going to be okay,” she whispers.
London reaches down, picks up the pregnancy test, glances at it once, then sets it beside the sink. Her jaw tightens, but when she looks back at me, I can tell it’s out of concern, not anger. “Can you stand, Ruby?” she asks. “We’ve got you.”
I nod weakly, even though my legs feel like Jello. Between the three of them, they help me up. Promise keeps an arm around my back, Sadie holds my hand, and London hovers close, ready to catch me if I wobble.
Together, they guide me down the hall and into my bedroom, where they have me sit on the edge of the bed.
Promise kneels in front of me while London sits beside me, and Sadie disappears briefly before coming back with a cool, damp washcloth.
Without a word, Sadie gently presses it to my face, wiping away the tears and streaks of mascara I hadn’t even realized were there.
Her touch is careful and nurturing, as if she’s done this a hundred times before.
“There we go,” she murmurs. “Just breathe.”
Doing as I’m told, I take a deep, cleansing breath.
Promise rests her hands on my knees, grounding me. “We’re not going anywhere,” she says. “Whatever this is… we will figure it out together.”
London crosses her arms, eyes fierce and protective.
“And just so we’re clear…” she adds, her voice lighter but no less serious, “… we’re not letting you hide shit from us anymore.
We planned this sneak attack because we knew something had been up your ass lately.
I can’t believe you not only kept this from us, but you weren’t even going to let us be here for you. ”
A sob finally breaks free, but this time I don’t fight it.
“Lon!” Promise hisses.
For a few moments, the room is quiet except for my uneven breathing.
Promise is the first to speak, “Okay,” she says, picking herself up off the floor and gently sitting beside me on the bed. She’s careful to keep her voice calm and steady when she continues, “We’re here. And we love you. Now, are you ready to tell us what happened?”
I nod, staring down at my hands twisted together in my lap.
London shifts closer. “We’re not here to judge,” she says. “You know that’s not us. We just need to understand.”
Sadie squeezes my hand. “You don’t have to rush,” she adds softly.
I swallow hard.
Promise hesitates, then asks the question I’ve been dreading. Telling my friends means reliving the humiliation. What will they think? “Ruby, who’s the father?”
His name bursts out of my mouth before I can stop it. “Catcher.”
The girls go silent. The only thing that can be heard is the sound of my shallow breathing. All three of them stare at me.
London’s eyes widen. “Wait,” she says slowly. “Catcher?”
Promise blinks, clearly trying to process it. “Catcher?” she repeats his name like maybe I misspoke, and she’s waiting for me to correct myself, only I don’t.
I nod, tears spilling over. “Yes.”
Sadie’s grip tightens on my hand. “Oh, Ruby…” The way she says my name sounds pitiful.
Pity is the last thing I want right now.
London straightens, shock written all over their face. “I did not see that coming,” she says, then, “When did this happen?”
“That night, a couple of months ago, when we all crashed at the clubhouse,” I confess.
Promise frowns. “You never said anything.”
“I know,” I say quickly. “I was embarrassed. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
My chest tightens as the memories rush back.
“We slept t-together,” I say, my voice cracking.
“I got up to get something to drink after I couldn’t sleep.
His door was cracked open, and he was sitting up in his bed.
He looked… I don’t know, off. Like something was wrong.
I only wanted to make sure he was okay. And then…
it just happened. I thought it meant something.
I thought he was into me, and I thought…
” I shake my head. “I thought there was something there. I was wrong.”
London’s expression hardens.
“But the next mornin…” I continue, “… he didn’t remember at all.” My voice drops to barely above a whisper. “He woke up confused. He didn’t know why I was there. He was suddenly angry.”
My last comment sparks something in London. “What do you mean, angry?”
I shrug, refusing to meet her gaze. “He basically kicked me out.”
London looks as if she is about to explode, but then Promise touches her arm and shakes her head.
“What happened after you told him you had slept together?” Sadie asks.
“I didn’t tell him,” I say quickly, shame burning in my chest. “I couldn’t. I was mortified. So, I just… left. I ran out of the clubhouse and drove away.”
Promise’s breath catches. “He doesn’t know?”
I shake my head. “No. He doesn’t know we slept together. He doesn’t know any of it.”
London swears softly under their breath.
“I’ve been avoiding everyone since,” I admit. “You guys. The clubhouse. Him… I just wanted to pretend it never happened.”
Promise reaches for my knee. “That explains so much.”
Sadie crouches down in front of me and squeezes my hand. “We’re going to help you figure this out, Ruby.”
“Damn straight we are.” London crosses her arms over her chest. Her sharp tone signals that she is not happy with Catcher.
Promise wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Okay,” she says, resolve settling in. “This is a lot. But we’ve got you. All of it. Every step.”
I nod, tears slipping down my cheeks again.
Because even though everything feels terrifying and uncertain, I know my friends will be by my side.