Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DOUGLAS
After the lads’ night at Lachlan’s, I texted Leah. Nothing dramatic, no accusations. Just, I think we need to have a proper conversation about everything. Can you call me when you get a chance?
Measured. Direct. The kind of thing a reasonable adult says to another reasonable adult.
She read it. I can see the blue ticks. But it’s been two days, and she hasn’t replied.
I’d like to say I’m surprised, but I’m not.
This is what Leah does. Contact has always been on her terms—when she wants something, when she’s feeling sentimental, when she fancies playing at being a mother for a weekend.
A message from me asking to have an honest conversation about our dead marriage?
Nah, she’s not going to make time for that.
I’d wanted to speak to Leah before asking Ellie out—that seemed like the right order in which to do things—but based on past experience, I could be waiting weeks for Leah to get back to me. Months, even. Well, I’m done arranging my life around her whims.
Today I get the Mary Beth back to the harbour by half two, and Ben and I load the catch into the buyer’s van in good time, giving me a chance to pop by the library before collecting the twins from school.
The bell jingles as I push the door open. Ellie is behind the desk. She looks up, surprise flashing across her face, and all of a sudden I’m back in her kitchen, kissing her. But then her expression settles into something polite and neutral.
“Afternoon,” she says.
“Er, afternoon.”
I step towards the desk, opening my mouth to say what I came here to say, to get it out before I can overthink it. But Ellie’s eyes flick sideways, just briefly, and I follow her gaze to see Kate Cairns in the fiction section, browsing.
Right. Not now. Message received. I hadn’t even noticed there was anyone else here. My head is clearly somewhere else.
I hesitate, then turn away and head for the nearest shelf.
Might as well look like I’m here for a book.
I pull out one at random. It’s about wild swimming in Scotland.
As if I don’t spend enough of my life cold and wet already.
But I make a show of reading it. Mostly, though, I’m watching Kate out of the corner of my eye.
She moves along the shelves at a glacial pace, pulling out a book every now and then, reading the blurb, then putting it back.
Christ. I don’t have long before I have to pick up the twins from school. Any chance she could move it along?
Finally—finally—Kate approaches the desk with a single book. Ellie scans it out for her, they exchange a few quiet words, then Kate leaves, nodding at me on her way out.
The bell jingles. The door closes. And then it’s just us.
I put the wild-swimming book back on the shelf and walk over to the desk. My heart is properly going. I can feel it in my throat.
“So,” I say.
“So,” she echoes. Her hands are resting on the counter, very still.
I shift my weight. Shove my hands in my pockets. Take them out again.
“I’ve been in touch with Leah,” I say. “Or at least, I texted her about sorting things out. She hasn’t replied, which is . . . aye, that’s pretty standard.”
Ellie nods but doesn’t say anything.
“My marriage is over,” I add bluntly. “Has been for a long time. I’ve been so busy keeping everything going, I’ve not done anything about it. But I want to change that.” I clear my throat. “And I’d like to take you for dinner, if you’d like that.”
She doesn’t reply straight away, and I think I’ve left it too long. I ran out on her then avoided her for days. She’s probably had enough of my nonsense already.
Then, “Yes.” A flush rises up her neck and into her cheeks. “Yes. That would be . . . That would be lovely.”
I smile, a proper smile, the kind I haven’t had much cause for in a long time. “Tomorrow evening?”
“Tomorrow. Great.” She nods, then nods again, as if confirming it to herself. “Perfect.”
“Perfect,” I repeat.
We stand there, smiling at each other across the counter like two people who have forgotten how conversations work. Then the library phone rings, snapping me back to reality. I glance at the clock and see the time.
“Right, I’ll let you get that. I’d better go. School run.”
“Of course.”
“So, tomorrow. I’ll text you the details.”
“Tomorrow.”
I take a step back from the desk. She reaches for the phone. We smile at each other again, then I turn and walk out the door.
I’m halfway to the school before it fully sinks in. I’ve got a date with Ellie Macpherson. Tomorrow.