Chapter 30 #2
“We had a lovely time, didn’t we, children?
” Leah says, reaching me. They don’t respond, but that doesn’t stop her from pushing on.
“The harbour was beautiful. A bit cold, though. I’d forgotten how cold it gets up here.
The wind really gets you.” She laughs lightly.
“The twins had ice cream, but I had a hot chocolate. That was a while ago now, though, and I’m already frozen again. I wouldn’t say no to a tea.”
Bloody hell. She likes to try her luck, doesn’t she?
“Sorry,” I say, putting my hand on the door handle. “We’re in a bit of a rush. The twins will have to bolt down their dinner so I can get them to swimming on time. I was expecting them back fifteen minutes ago.”
“Honestly, Douglas.” She rolls her eyes as though I’m being ridiculous. “You do know children can have fun without everything being run like clockwork?”
Easy for her to say when she only shows up for a night or two every few months. I’m the one keeping this show on the road.
“Aye, well. We’ve got to get organised now. Speak later.”
I close the door then head through to the kitchen and serve up. “Right, you two. Chicken nuggets today.”
I thought they’d be pleased. Maybe a whoop, at the very least a grin. But they sit down and pick up their forks without any fanfare.
Logan eats mechanically, dipping a nugget into ketchup and chewing without much interest. Rosie pushes a chip around her plate then looks up at me. “Da, Mum says you have a new special friend.”
I go still, then I set my fork down. “What else did she say?”
“Not much. Just that you have a new friend you’ve been spending a lot of time with.”
Logan glances up from his plate. “Who is it?”
Irritation flares—sharp, hot, immediate.
Not at the twins. At Leah. Because of course she did this.
Of course she dropped it into conversation with the kids like a grenade with the pin pulled, then handed them back to me to deal with the explosion.
It’s exactly her style. She couldn’t get to me last night, couldn’t get to Ellie, so she’s gone through the children instead.
My first instinct is to deflect, to change the subject, to kick the can down the road and deal with it later, when I’ve had time to think, to plan, to find the perfect words.
But if I do that, Leah controls the narrative.
She gets to be the one who told them, and I become the one who hid it. I’m done letting Leah control things.
“Aye,” I say. “I do have a special friend. It’s Ellie.”
Logan blinks. “Ellie from the library?”
“Aye.”
“So that’s why we’ve been going to the library all the time.” Mystery solved, Logan goes back to his nuggets.
Rosie is not so easily satisfied. “Is she your girlfriend?”
I hesitate, but only for a little bit. “We’re seeing each other, aye.”
Rosie considers this. “Is that why Mum came back? Because you have a girlfriend?”
The question hits me square in the chest. Because the honest answer is: probably, aye. But that’s not what my children need to hear.
“Your mum came back because she wanted to see you,” I say gently. “Both of you.”
Rosie looks like she has her doubts, but she doesn’t voice them.
We really need to get a move on, but after this conversation, I don’t have the heart to encourage the twins to wolf down their dinner. By the time they do finish, there’s no way we’re getting to swimming without it being a mad rush, and even then we’d probably still be late.
“What do you think about skipping swimming this week?” I say.
The twins glance at each other.
“Fine by me,” Logan says. Rosie nods her agreement.
Aye, they’re definitely not themselves. They normally enjoy their swimming lessons, Logan especially, who treats the pool like a playground.
“Go on upstairs and play for a bit. I’ll tidy up here.”
They slide off their chairs and disappear. I clear the plates, rinse them, and stack them in the dishwasher. Then I pull out my phone and call Ellie.
“Hey,” she says, answering.
“Hi.” I decide to just come out with it. “The twins know about us.”
“Oh. Er . . . right.”
“Aye, Leah told them I have a ‘special friend’, and they asked me about it. I didn’t want to lie, so I told them it’s you.”
A pause. “Okay. How did they take it?”
“Hard to know, but I’d rather not make it into this big mysterious thing.
They’re bound to have questions, and I’d prefer to address them, rather than have them sitting upstairs inventing things in their heads.
” I breathe out. “I hate to spring this on you, but how would you feel about me bringing a couple of curious visitors round to yours for a bit?”
“Now?”
“If that’s all right.”
“Douglas, of course it’s all right. Give me ten minutes.”
“Does Ellie have a garden?” Logan asks, bouncing along beside me, some of his usual energy restored.
“Aye, she does.”
“Does she have any pets?”
“Nope.”
“She should get a dog. I like it when I go round to Finn’s and get to play with Gus.”
“You know what? I don’t know if she’s a dog person or not. You should ask her.”
Rosie walks on my other side, quieter. I’m not too concerned about Logan, but I’m less sure about how Rosie is taking this.
When we reach Ellie’s cottage, she opens the door before I can knock. She’s still in the green top she was wearing earlier, but she’s added a cardigan over it.
“Hi, you two,” she says to the twins. “Come on in. Make yourself at home.”
Logan doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s already through the door and kicking his shoes off. He then proceeds to wander through a doorway and further into the house.
“Mate!” I say. “Maybe wait to see where Ellie wants us, eh?”
“She said to make ourselves at home!” he calls back.
“He’s very welcome to have a look around,” Ellie assures me. “You too, Rosie. Come on in. No need to be shy.”
She enters more cautiously than her brother, removes her shoes, then heads through the doorway Logan went through.
“Thanks so much for having us round,” I say to Ellie, stepping into the hall. “And sorry again for springing this on you.”
“Don’t be daft. It’s fine.” In a lower voice she adds, “I just hope it goes well.”
“It will. Just be yourself. They already like you—you’re the friendly face from the library.”
We follow the twins through into Ellie’s living room. Rosie has found Ellie’s bookcase and is running a finger along the spines, reading the titles. Logan is studying Ellie’s fiddle case.
“Can you play us something?” he asks.
“Oh, if you like, but maybe in a wee bit. Why don’t we get settled first?”
“Can I play something?”
Ellie glances at me. Smiling, I ruffle Logan’s hair. “We’re not staying long at Ellie’s today. We can hang out with her more another time, but today I thought you two might have some questions, so I wanted to give you the chance to ask me and Ellie them. So? Anything you’d like to ask us?”
Logan frowns, like apart from fiddle-related questions he’s got nothing. But Rosie turns from the bookcase and says, “Are you going to marry our da?”
Ellie’s mouth parts. I let out a breath that’s half laugh, half something else entirely. When our eyes meet, a smile tugs at Ellie’s lips, matching the one pulling at mine.
“Well,” I say. “We’ve only had a couple of dates so far, Rosie.”
Rosie’s brow furrows as she thinks things through. “Da, can you even marry Ellie if you’re already married to Mum?”
A pang hits me right in the centre of my chest. Seven years old and she’s already joining the dots on my mess of a life.
“No,” I say. “I couldn’t marry Ellie while I’m still married to your mum.
But your mum and I haven’t been a proper husband and wife for a long time now.
You know that. There are a few grown-up things I need to sort out with your mum, but the important thing for you two to know is that Ellie and I won’t be rushing into anything.
We’re going to take this slowly and carefully. All right?”
Rosie considers this, brow still furrowed, then she nods.
I turn to Logan. “How about you, lad? Any questions for Ellie? Or for me?”
Logan scrunches up his nose, thinks about it, then says, “Ellie, do you have any biscuits?”
I shake my head. “Not the kind of question I meant, mate.”
But Ellie jumps to her feet. “Yes! Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”
She disappears into the kitchen, soon returning with a plate arranged with bourbons, custard creams, and a few chocolate digestives. A grin spreads across Logan’s face, and he reaches for a bourbon. Rosie takes a custard cream.
“What do you say?” I remind them.
“Thank you,” they chorus.
The rest of the visit unfolds easily. Rosie asks a few more questions, which Ellie and I handle between us. Logan remembers he did have a proper question after all, and Ellie tells him that, yes, she does like dogs, but no, she has no plans to get one.
After a while, almost out of the blue, Rosie says, “I like you, Ellie.”
Logan nods in agreement, mouth full of biscuit. “Me too.”
Ellie’s eyes shine. She glances at me and smiles before turning her attention back to the twins. “I like you both too.”
We don’t stay too long, and when it’s time to go, I pause at Ellie’s door. The twins are already heading down her path and onto the pavement.
“That went well,” I say.
“Aye, it did.”
I want to kiss her so badly, but I settle for squeezing her hand, and she squeezes mine back.