Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Myles
I t’s good to be back in the office. The helicopter got us back in time for Scott to get to his football match, and for me to check in with Zara.
I love my job, love the company I’ve built, yet as I round the corner and see her sitting at her desk, light gleaming from her hair, something about being here feels more like home than ever before.
As I approach, she lifts her head, her wide eyes meeting mine. Christ. My conversation with Scott rolls through my mind once more. But, despite how my heart leaps, how my groin twitches at the sight of her, asking her out is a line I simply cannot cross.
“How was the trip?” She smiles, soft and tentative, and I just want to kiss her.
“Fine.” Curt again, as usual. Protecting myself. I pause for a moment. “It went well. Thanks for all the work you did. We appreciated the massages.”
“I’m glad.” She hands me a pile of papers. “These are for you. I’ve sorted and labelled them, but if you need me to go through them with you, I can. You do have a couple of meetings tomorrow, but they’ve been in your calendar for a while, and?—”
“And everything is no doubt organised to a tee. I do need to speak with you, but not about this.” I indicate the pile of paper.
She takes in a breath, then nods. I’m so aware of her, of her blossom scent, the way her chest rises and falls, the curve of her cheek.
“I can come in now.”
“Give me ten minutes to get settled.”
“All right.”
I go past her, into my office, without saying anything more. I hang up my coat, put the papers on my desk. There’s an envelope there, and I sigh when I recognise the curling handwriting. I sit down, pushing it to one side.
I have ten minutes to pull my shit together.
I’m not going to ask Zara out. Nor am I going to growl at her, any more than I can help it.
I’m not proud of my behaviour where she’s concerned.
She’s a damn good employee and, once Eloise comes back, I’d like her to stay with the company.
That’s what I want to talk to her about.
But I cannot cross any other line. No matter how much I might want to.
There’s just too much at stake.
It’s been six years.
Scott is right, about so many things. I do want what he has with Sally, want to find that someone.
But there’s still a part of me that guards myself, that never goes too deep.
I made a vow never to get close to anyone I worked with again.
Somehow, without meaning to, that’s spilled over to my private life as well.
Now every relationship I have comes with paperwork. Keeps the lawyers happy, at least.
But as Zara knocks at my door and comes in, as she sits opposite me, a gentle smile playing on her soft mouth, I wonder about my own happiness, and what I’ve given up to keep myself safe. And whether I might be ready to open my heart to someone again.
“So,” I begin. “I wanted to talk to you. About your future at MB Holdings.”
* * *
A while later she’s back at her desk again. Our conversation went well, I think. She accepted my offer, anyway. I followed my instincts, once again, and know she’ll be an asset to the company. So why do I feel as though I’ve lost something important?
I pull Katya’s envelope towards me. I may as well get this over with. I break the seal and slide out the piece of scented notepaper.
My darling Myles,
I just want you to know that I miss you when you’re not around. I think we work well together, you and I, no matter how we fight. After all, making up in bed is the best part. And I’m ready for it all, with you. I want to have your child, want to be part of your life. What do you say?
It’s signed with a big swirly ‘K’, a lipstick kiss on the paper beneath it.
All I feel is irritation, and a slight twinge of guilt that I have to end it with her.
But I’m not ready to give her what she wants, nor do I think she’s the one I want to give it to.
I sigh again, and pick up my phone to call Martin, my lawyer.
There are documents to prepare, and a parting gift.
I’m nothing if not generous. It might seem cold, but it’s kinder than leading her on.
But, as I listen to the phone ringing, I realise something. I’m tired of living like this.
It’s time for things to change.