Chapter 5
Tab
The nearly one-million-count sheets suffocate me.
For all their design benefits that’s supposed to make me feel like I’m lying on a cloud, they just give me the ick.
The penthouse is silent. Somewhere in here, a clock ticks slow and steady, and all it reminds me of is that I’m cooped up in here. Alone.
Before, I could bear it. Almost. But being outside, enjoying life again, and let’s face it, running into Levi was an eye-opener. Like a continental shift in my brain.
He made me laugh.
Here I thought he was just eye candy, but Levi Soucy made me genuinely laugh. He swooped in like a superhero, paying for my coffee indulgence, but also gave me what I really needed: a moment not to fixate on what happened.
He’s probably already gone back to his day, forgetting we even saw each other.
I’m sitting here stuffing the muffins he bought me into my mouth, wondering if it was just my imagination that he was flirting with me.
Though, according to Micah and Raeann, he flirts with everyone.
But me. I’m not the type someone flirts with right now.
I’m the one they make sure to tell is friend-zoned.
Lordy, what past Tab would’ve thought about Levi charming her…
I stuff a piece of muffin into my mouth. She probably would’ve started picturing him shirtless. Maybe imagined him giving her a little strip tease.
The elevator dings, and I nearly choke on the baked goodness in my mouth.
I clear my throat, swallowing while stuffing the muffin evidence under the pillowy sheets. “You didn’t have to come home!”
“Ms. Riley?”
Who the…
I suck in a breath, frozen in place. The man’s voice is pure Tennessee drawl.
“Ms. Riley? It’s the doorman, Mr. Pawnell.”
Oh, holy hell.
I heave out a sigh of relief. Plopping my muffin on top of my bedside table, I whisk the sheets off me before padding toward the elevator.
You would think with how fancy this place is, they wouldn’t have the front door open up into your actual space.
When I peek around the corner, sure enough, the same guy from downstairs earlier is standing just past the elevator doors in his tidy black uniform with gold accents, holding a humongous gift basket.
“What’s this?”
“It was left for you at the door. I told them I’d have no problem bringing it up to you. Mr. and Mrs. Freeman said you’re not to be disturbed.”
I nearly chuckle. Mrs. Freeman? Micah seriously can’t wait to attach her to his last name. Honestly, a little jealous about that.
Not about Micah. About what he represents.
He’s handsome, possessive, and over-the-top, but he’s all those things for her.
I want a Micah of my own. There have been nights since the fire that I’ve imagined how much easier this would be if I had someone.
I wouldn’t feel like a burden to Raeann.
They want to start their lives, and here I am putting on the brakes for Mr. and Mrs. Freeman.
“That was very nice of you. Um…” I check my pockets like I have my wallet when I know damn well there is no wallet. I make a mental note to ask Rae-bae where it is as I give the gentleman a small smile. “I’m so sorry. I don’t have any money on me right now. I’ll make it right later.”
“Don’t you worry about it, Miss.”
He extends the package toward me, an array of pastel flowers flowing every which way out of a hand-woven basket. The flurry of scents and visuals bring a smile to my face. “This is gorgeous.”
“Would you like me to put it on the counter for you?”
“No, I’ll take it.”
He places the arrangement in my hands and—damn—it’s not that it’s heavy, but it is so large it’s awkward.
“Thank you!” I call back to Mr. Pawnell while moving toward the kitchen, placing the basket on the counter. I reach for my phone to take a picture and stop. No phone. Of course.
I honestly can’t remember if it was my idea to not have a phone first, or if it was Raeann’s, but we might need to discuss it again. I could at least play games on it if I had one, drown out the ticking of that damn clock.
Behind me, the elevator dings with the retreat of the doorman, and I’m left with the over-the-top gift. I check the card. He said it was for me, but this is exactly the kind of thing Micah would send Raeann on a random Thursday.
I slip open the envelope and pull out the rectangular note. My heartbeat ratchets up as I read the simple note.
For us, Levi.
Levi sent this to me?
This must be a mistake. Unless he really was flirting with me. Which is crazy. Or… This could be a sympathy gift. Like, an I’m-so-sorry-you-don’t-have-any-money-and-look-like-you-spend-all-day-in-bed,-and-are-unfortunately-damaged-goods,-here-are-these-flowers-to-make-it-better.
My fingers brush the exquisite petals, purples, pinks, and whites interspersed with greenery straight out of a fairytale. The candy boxes and—
You’re kidding.
I grab the small rectangular box and squeal. A phone. The literal latest phone. My fingers shake so much I can barely tear the box open. Inside, the screen comes to life. A sexy picture of Levi staring into the camera with smoldering eyes and a super model expression greets me.
I nearly drop the phone. Christ. He’s my fantasy come to life. He’s going to give me a freaking heart attack with how good looking he is.
The good news is, if I ever do drop it, he already has a screen protector and a heavy-duty case on it. I search through the apps, seeing if he’s left anything else for me, and when I click on Contacts, he’s the sole person listed. Big Dick Levi.
Big Dick Levi? Is he for real? I burst out laughing. The man has no shame. And apparently not a single ounce of insecurity.
I keep searching, and in the camera roll, I find a few more pictures of him, all selfies with different poses.
The man is h-o-t, hot.
Fanning myself, I click on his name and type out a message.
Me: Did the Big Dick Levi buy me a phone? Also, did you give yourself that nickname? Or… Inquiring minds want to know.
His response is nearly immediate.
Levi: I’d have to be pretty full of myself to give myself that nickname.
Me: Does about a dozen or so selfies in my new camera roll count as being full of yourself?
Levi: I thought you could use the eye candy. You’re like Rapunzel locked in a tower, dying from the lack of a male form.
I bite my lip, peering through the rest of the basket. There is just about everything I would need in here, including extra screen protectors, a car adapter, a pop socket, and…
Me: A watch?
Levi: So you won’t miss a message from me. I’ll literally be strapped to your wrist.
Okay, he’s clearly flirting. My stomach flip-flops. Pre-fire, this is all I wanted. I thought we could have a fling, a fun romp in the sack. I wouldn’t have even cared if I was added to the list of his conquests, but things are so different. Why now?
It has to be because he feels bad for me. I’m like the Sarah McLachlan dog commercial to him. Levi Soucy saw me at my most vulnerable, lying there on the ground like a hurt, forgotten puppy, and he wants to… I don’t know yet, but it’s not something I want.
Me: You didn’t have to do this. I’m sure Raeann has a phone for me somewhere.
Levi: But this way, I get you all to myself.
Me: I’m perfectly capable of buying my own phone.
He doesn’t respond right away, and I stand there, biting on my thumbnail. My emotions are up and down, torn this way and that.
He waits so long to answer that I almost put my phone down and swipe my goodies into the trash.
Levi: Of course you can. But what fun would that be?
My teeth capture my lip, and I gnaw on it for a few seconds. Something isn’t adding up here. Why wait to make his move? I was fine before. Better than fine, actually. Raeann and I built something amazing with Pet Threads. I’m a goddamn catch.
Was…
I was a catch. Now I’m sitting in this too-fancy penthouse wearing clothes that everyone else in their penthouses probably wouldn’t dare be caught dead in.
But I don’t really have a choice. My wounds are covered in bandages, but they’re still there.
When Halloween rolls around again, I might be able to go as the Bride of Frankenstein, but in everyday life? I’m just…broken.
Levi: I’m really glad I ran into you today.
Me: Why?
Levi: Because I’ve been thinking about you.
Levi: Please tell me you’re not one of those women who can’t just take a compliment.
Me: Please tell me you’re not one of those guys with a hero complex.
Levi: Me? I’m like the exact opposite.
Levi: You’re welcome, by the way. For the gift basket.
Me: …
Me: You gave me a gift against my will, and now you want praise and gratitude? What? So you can clap yourself on the back? Well, go ahead, you have my permission.
Levi: You should eat another muffin. I think you’re hangry.
I want to stay mad, but instead, I burst out laughing picturing the muffin that’s waiting for me by my bed.
Maybe I do need to relax. Buying me this newest phone is like Levi giving a random person five dollars.
He’s young. He’s rich. Single. He has everything he’s ever wanted, and as far as I know, no one else to spend it on.
It’s possible he did it because he just wanted to.
I swallow, forcing down the feelings of possible misconception and a little pride.
Me: Thank you.
Levi: That’s my girl.
My insides light up at the praise. No matter how wrong it might be on the surface, my body hasn’t gotten the memo. The man with the smoldering looks called me his girl. Regardless of what shape I’m in, it still feels good. Like a mission accomplished. Like a step into my old life.
But at the same time, that’s the rub. I might never have my old life back. At least my old self.
I tuck my phone into my pocket and place the chocolate-covered strawberries in the fridge. I leave the basket as it is, setting it on the dining room table, and then carry the box of chocolates back to my room.
There, I’ll tell Raeann and Micah my parents sent me flowers.
They already warned me off Levi before, so I won’t get myself—or him—in trouble by saying I saw him at the coffee shop, or that he sent me a nice gift basket.
I get comfy in the bed and pull the phone back out.
Me: This should be our little secret.
Levi: You read my mind. What your wardens don’t know won’t hurt them.
I snort-laugh. It seems like they are sometimes, but it’s coming from a place of love. I would do anything for that girl, and vice versa. It just so happens that I’m the one who needs something right now.
That doesn’t mean I have to like my situation, though.
Levi: Don’t change your wallpaper either. I’m a sexy bitch.
Me: There’s that ego again.
Levi: Send me a selfie so I can change mine.
Me: Are you crazy? I’m hardly camera ready. I look like a depressed teenager.
Levi: I think you’re beautiful.
I smile but type out an unfazed response anyway.
Me: You should get your eyes checked.
Levi: I have perfect vision. The team doc checks me twice per year. How else do you think I see those touchdown passes coming?
Me: Then your near-sighted vision is way off.
Levi: It’s okay. I took one of you today when you weren’t looking.
He sends through an image, and my eyes bulge out of my head. It’s me taking a huge bite of muffin. It’s the most unflattering picture I’ve ever seen.
Me: Get the fuck out of here with that.
Levi: Setting as wallpaper now. 3-2-
Me: I hate you.
Levi: Stop talking dirty to me. I’m a PBS kid.
A laugh bubbles all the way up from my stomach. It comes out so fast and hard it surprises me. It’s the biggest laugh I’ve had since the fire.
It feels good. Freeing. Like I’ve kept all this uncertainty and anger inside me and I’m letting it out.
I’ll let him have that pic. It’s awful, but if he’s staring at that every day, then he really isn’t interested in me like that. We can be friends. My little peek into the outside world that isn’t best friend sanctioned because the universe knows I need levity.
Levi: Hey, this is really bad timing but I have a prior commitment, so I have to go silent for a bit.
Oh. My. God. Is he for real? He’s telling me when he won’t be able to write me back. How cute is he?
Me: A prior commitment? You sound like you’re writing an excuse for someone.
Levi: It’s dating show related.
An invisible pin bursts my bubble. I take the pillow behind me and scream into it before plopping back on the bed as dramatically as possible. Here I was playing the does he, doesn’t he game, and I totally forgot he’s dating other women. Is confusion a side effect of the pain meds they have me on?
Good grief. I stuff the pillow under me and play back every interaction I had with Levi today. Regardless of being convinced both one way, and then the other, there’s no denying he made me feel better.
So, even if he is the playboy everyone thinks he is, Levi is just what the doctor ordered. If he wants to be my friend, I’ll let him.