Chapter 8 #2
She laughs. The beautiful sound filling the room in a sort of crazed, lunatic way. But the genuine joy softens any impact it would have had on me. “You can’t be this hard up for friends…or for a partner.”
“I’m not, actually.”
“Then this has to be about ticking something off a list. Is this some weird thing you have with Micah? Like you want to fuck me to get back at him for something?”
“Woah, woah. Who said anything about wanting to fuck you?” I hold my hands up like I’m truly shocked at the idea.
Her eyes practically pop out of her head, and then her cheeks go red.
“I mean, I do want to, but I hadn’t said that yet.”
Her shoulders relax, but it doesn’t last long. She swats at me. “You’re an ass.”
“Probably, but I can also safely say this has nothing to do with Micah.”
“Good because he’s warned me to stay away from you like a billion times.”
Damn. Thanks, brother. Talk about a cock blocker.
“You should definitely not listen to him.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. Her robe splits open, and I catch a glimpse of cleavage.
What I wouldn’t give to reach out and work my fingers against her curves right now, cupping her tits in my palms, rubbing her in all the right places.
I wonder what Tab’s O face looks like. I bet it’s beautiful, unrestricted.
Fuck. I’m horny. I’ve been horny since I saw her at the coffee shop. I was horny walking up the fire escape. And now I’m needy, growing with want. I shift to release the pressure from my pants against my erection, and her stare lowers, no doubt seeing everything.
She blushes, turning away. “I can’t help it,” I tell her, my voice a little breathless.
“Another line.”
“Another truth.”
She turns back, narrowing her gaze at me. “Did you think I would just spread my legs for you?”
A flush spreads across her chest. She’s acting a little too put off. She starts fidgeting, and if I’m reading everything right, she’s thought about me too. “You know what I think? I think you’ve also been thinking about me.”
She scoffs. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Unbelievably taken with you. All I needed was that creamy skin leading to the curve of your breast…”
She peers down, gasping, then quickly covers herself back up. “That was an accident.”
My mind starts thinking of other things. Like how she’s not wearing a shirt or a bra. And maybe how she’s not wearing underwear. I reach out to grasp the edge of her robe and move it open slowly. Her knee comes into view. Then her thigh.
“Levi…”
“I just want a look.”
Her breathing ratchets up. “You’re being bold.”
“Stop me, then.”
It’s a challenge, and one I don’t think she’ll take me up on. Her hands fist the sheets on the bed, and she stares at me like she’s waiting to see how far I’ll push it.
Me? I push things. That’s what I do. The belt keeps her top solidly in place, but I move the bottom enough to spot the bare curve of her ass.
“You’re crazy,” she says, but her pupils are dilated, her breaths coming quicker.
She’s as turned on as me. Almost like she’s thought of this before.
“You’re a big girl. You can take crazy.”
She shifts her leg up, bending at the knee, and then lets it drop to the bed, spreading wide for me. I’ve never seen anything so sexy in my life.
“Tab…” I inhale slow and steady.
She starts to move her knees back together, but I stop her.
“This isn’t a good idea,” she says.
“It’s a genius idea.” I nearly salivate over her pink pussy. She’s so alluring, she doesn’t even realize.
I start to untie the belt on her robe. I need to see everything.
Every last intimate part of her needs to be mine.
The robe parts, showing off her creamy skin.
I trail my hands up, barely grazing her, skimming up the sides of her breasts and start to move her robe down her shoulder.
Her breath hitches. She presses her lips together, her features lost in what looks to be some sort of transition between shock and pleasure.
Following the line of her arm, I move the robe lower and lower…and then she stills.
“The robe stays on,” she says.
I want to protest, but the look she gives me says it all. That’s her stopping point.
“The robe stays on,” I confirm.
She starts to fan her face. Immediately, she pulls the robe back up and around her and sits up, covering all access to her.
“What’s wrong?”
“I shouldn’t have let it get that far. I’m sorry. I can’t.”
I interlock my fingers with hers, rubbing my thumb over her gently. “It’s okay. Maybe we can just cuddle?”
She side eyes me. “Who are you, and what have you done to Levi?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m an Olympic level cuddler.”
She fans her face again, taking in deep breaths. It’s clear she’s uncomfortable.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
She rolls her eyes. “My arms.”
“I think I can handle the sight of your arms.”
“I can’t even handle the sight of my arms,” she snaps, then lowers her voice. “Please don’t ask about it again.”
I swallow. I want to push the issue, but she’s vulnerable right now, and I don’t want her mind stuck on that. I have things I need to talk to her about. Plans I need to convince her of. So, instead, I move next to her, putting my arm around her shoulder.
“Levi, really, I’m overheating.” She shrugs me off and scoots away. The bed is so huge, she’s able to put a lot of distance between us, and then she fans the sides of her robe.
My brain almost doesn’t compute this. I’ve had to untangle girls from my body before, and now this one is willingly—and effectively, I might add—getting away from me. “Ouch. That’s a hit to the old ego.”
“You could use one or two,” she says, and it’s then that I hear the strain in her voice.
“Tab, are you okay? Do you need something?”
“I’m so hot.”
“Strip down.”
“Not in front of you.”
“Do you think I fucking care about your burns? That it’s somehow going to make me pick up and leave?”
She wipes at her neck. The hair at her nape is soaked. After swinging my legs off the bed, I walk to the attached bathroom. I raid her cabinets and find a washcloth before running it under cold water and bringing it back out to her.
She tries to take it from me, but I hold it out of reach. “I got this.”
I swipe the cold washcloth across her forehead, on each cheek, then down over her chin and neck. “Is this helping?”
“Yes,” she breathes. “It just got a little much for me there.” She inhales deep and lets it out, her eyelashes fanning over her cheeks.
My goodness, she’s exquisite.
When I first met her, I noticed how beautiful she was, but that’s nothing nowadays.
There are tons of beautiful girls in Nashville, and they always end up where I am.
In the clubs, postgame parties, bumping into me at the supermarket.
Tab was just another pretty face, but I was so, so wrong.
There’s nothing just about her. She’s everything.
Seeing her lying on the sidewalk that day woke me up.
It made me understand things in a way I hadn’t bothered to look at before.
Our lives are precious. The people we have in it are too.
I used to make fun of Micah and some of the other guys for acting like their girls walked on water. Now I understand they do.
Tabitha Riley is my girl now, whether she wants to believe it or not. If she wants to walk on water, I’ll figure out a way.
“I’m starting to feel better,” she says and tries to grab the washcloth from me again.
“No way. It’s my duty to keep Rapunzel in good shape.”
“What makes you think you’ll get the chance? We’d have to see each other again for that to happen.”
My body full-on rejects the idea that we’ll never see each other again, a mix of anger and revulsion jolts through me. “You’re not dumping me that easily.”
“Levi, what is this? What are you really playing at? I can’t dump you because we’re not even dating, so I don’t know what else you want from me.”
“Tomorrows.”
“Huh?”
“I want all your tomorrows, Tab.”
Her jaw sets. “That’s cruel.” She snatches the washcloth out of my hands and places it over her eyes.
Okay, this is not how I wanted this to go.
Seeing her lying there, ignoring me, makes me angry. I snatch the washcloth back. “I like you, and I’m going to woo you until you realize I’m sincere. You are mine, Tabitha Riley, but most importantly, I’m yours.”
She blinks at me. “You’re out of your damn mind, Levi. You can’t come walking up my fire escape one night and demand me like a…like a barbarian.”
“The hell I can’t.”
“Leave.”
“No.”
Her eyes widen. “Levi…”
“You’re it for me, baby.”
“You don’t even know what you’re saying.”
“Like, comprehensively? I understand everything that I’m saying. I actually received good grades in school. Best GPA on my high school football team.”
“I won’t have a normal life,” she blurts out, chest heaving.
“I’m still not done with surgeries. Chances are my skin will never look normal again.
I can’t show up to fancy football dinners or walk the red carpet with you.
I’m…damaged, Levi. Trust me, I’m doing you a favor.
” Her eyes fill with tears. “You’re sweet.
You deserve someone who’s going to make your life easy.
You probably won’t find her on that dating show, but you’re definitely not finding her in this room. ”
I stare at her, my heart breaking. How could she ever think she’s the problem? Like somehow being with her will make life worse. “You don’t see yourself correctly.”
Her jaw locks. “I’m trying to be nice, but if you want to go there, let’s go there.
You just, what? Decided all this when you saw me at the café?
On a whim, I’m suddenly your happily ever after?
After one semi-intimate moment, you’re going to bang your fists on your chest and claim me?
Trust me, I’m saving us both the heartache because tomorrow you’re going to see some pretty girl walk by without all this baggage and you’re not even going to remember this conversation. ”
“You’re questioning my loyalty?”
“Yes! Loyalty is earned. It’s not something you wake up one day and decide on. Micah was right, you really are immature.”
Her words cut, but the way she flings these insults makes me understand how much she’s hurting.
“You can call me whatever you want, but I’m not leaving, or stopping my pursuit of you, and I’m certainly not going to wake up one day and realize that it wasn’t you all along.
You’re not a mistake, Tab. You’re end game. ”
“Pretty words.”
“Fine. You want more than words? You’ll get it.
” I lean over and kiss her forehead. It’s not only to kiss her goodbye, it’s to see if she’s still hot, but she’s much better.
I couldn’t bear leaving if I thought there was something wrong with her.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Tab. There’s a game this weekend, I’ll grab you tickets. ”
“Levi, I haven’t gone out since the fire.”
“Then it’s about time you did. Of course everything is going to look bleak from inside this room.”
“So you’re a psychologist now?”
I give her a grin. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Doubt it.”
Well, that sounds like a challenge, and I never back down from a challenge. “We’ll see.” I stride to the window and heave it up. “Lock this after me, Tabalicious.”
I crawl through the window, close it, then turn and wait. She stays in bed, but when I won’t leave, she pulls her robe tight and stands, striding toward the window and locking it.
Outside, the air temperature has dropped. My breath fans out in front of me in wisps of smoke. Descending the steps is a lot easier, maybe because I have more on my mind. My first plan of action is getting Tab to trust me. How do I make her see that I’m for real? That I’m not going anywhere?
Once I’m on the ground, the flat cement meeting me, I pull out my phone. First, I send a text to Tab:
Me: Good night, gorgeous.
Then, I send a text to the group thread:
Me: Say I liked a girl, how do I tell them it’s for real?
Reid: If this has anything to do with the dating show, we’re not helping.
Me: It’s not about the dating show.
Tipper: Why do you like her?
Me: What?
Tipper: Just answer the question.
This is stupid. I huff, grab my car keys, get in, and then stare down at the phone. Why do I like her? What do they care?
Reid: Good question.
Reid: Waiting…
There are a hundred things I want to write, like why they’re always giving me a hard time, but since I’m asking for their advice, I push that thought down.
Me: Because she’s special. Because she doesn’t put up with my shit. And we laugh together.
Micah: The first thing you should do is make sure she’s not crazy. If she’s sending you messages that she likes you back, she might need to go into a psych ward.
Me: *middle finger emoji*
Me: Ok, so from what you’re not saying, I guess none of you have game, and the perfect women for you fell into your laps.
Me: Got it.
Reid: Yeah, we’ll go with that.
Tipper: I don’t know, I think he might be serious.
Micah: Talk to us in a few days if you feel the same.
I roll my eyes and toss my phone in the passenger seat.
Wonderful. No one fucking takes me seriously.