3. Adam #2
“It’s just…you’re all alone in your apartment. We had all this time together in Seattle and then we came here, and I got to fall in love with your friend. I’m all happy and I want you to be all happy and in love, too!”
Fucking hell.
“We’re literally on our way to go hang out with our friends for hours. You and Will come over all the time. I’ve worked out with the guys countless times over the holiday season. I’m actually rarely alone, if that’s truly your concern.”
“Okay, so you have baseball and this group. That’s all you need?” Her eyes practically stare a hole in the side of my head.
I can’t exactly make eye contact while I’m driving, which probably isn’t fucking helping. I really don’t know what more she wants from me right now, but I’ll try one more time.
“I really am good, Cals. I swear.” I say all of it in a calm fashion. I say it in what has to be a very reassuring way, and should have zero follow-ups, but not with my sister.
Callie starts a full rant on how I pushed her to get out of her funk when we moved here and now it’s her turn.
Glancing back again to Will, I ask, “Care to help me out here?”
“Not particularly, no.”
This asshole. I guess I better let her get it all out.
I nod along as Callie starts on how we both deserve to be happy and reminds me that last year I had agreed with her.
The next chorus starts on how great this trade has been for us. How our support system has grown—and I can’t argue with her. Everything she’s saying is true, but it’s also true that I’m fine and she doesn’t have to worry about me.
Dread runs through me. I love my sister and I know she has the best intentions here. I’m not sure if this is stemming from her own misplaced guilt or what, but maybe once we get back in season she’ll see that I truly am fine.
Will, thankfully, takes some of the weight off the topic once we get closer to Beck’s place. He definitely sticks to Callie’s side more—as he should—but he changes the topic when he sees the opportunity to.
Fucker must have finally remembered how much I’m helping with this engagement.
Pulling into a parking spot close to Beck’s, Callie turns in her seat.
“Okay, I know the topic was very strategically changed several times…” She side-eyes Will, and he just shrugs.
“But this is the last thing I’m going to say…
for now, at least. I know you say you’re good, but I thought that for a really long time.
We, for the first time, actually have a chance to get the lives we both deserve.
I’m not going to waste a single second of it, and I don’t want you to either. ”
Well, fuck.
Looking anywhere but at Callie’s face, I try to think of any words that might sway her into believing I want that too. I’m just going about it differently than her… But she’s already getting out of the car and shutting the door behind her.
Will sighs. “Yeah, I felt that one, too. If you want to sit in the car for a second and chew it, I wouldn’t judge you.”
“Yeah, I’ll be in there in a minute.”
Will gives me a slight nod before getting out. He wraps his arm around Callie, I’m sure going to comfort her after that punch to the gut she gave me. I love that he’s that person for her. I love that she’s happy.
I’m well fucking aware that we deserved better. I’ve been down this path. I’ve talked to the therapists, but shit, I hated hearing her say that.
I hate that she worries about me and feels this guilt. I hate that these deep-rooted traumas affect our relationship like this. All I want is for Callie to be happy—I don’t need her worrying about me. I don’t need anyone to worry about me, actually.
I’ve had pretty damn good control over my life since cutting ties with our parents. I don’t make stupid financial decisions. I don’t sleep around, nor am I against a relationship, it’s just not been in the cards lately.
I may have lied about having a date this week, but it also got me thinking that it might be nice to actually try something.
I don’t think Callie’s worries about me being “lonely” are warranted, but to the same point, I can’t say I want to be single forever.
I’ve always kept my focus on my career. Any casual dating I had done really stopped when Callie moved in back in Seattle, and then it’s practically been the last thing on my mind since moving here.
The more I think about it, no one’s really piqued my interest the way Mia did yesterday. She was funny and so damn confident.
I’m annoyed as shit, but the kicker is, it’s not aimed at Callie—it’s toward myself, because clearly I’ve shown Callie something that’s led to the concern, but I’m not even sure what that could have been.
Finally getting out of the car, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Well, there’s at least one thing to make me feel better.
Mia
Think you can swing by Winedown tomorrow? I’ve got a pretty cool plan for the engagement party and want a second opinion.
I can do that. Any particular time?
11? Or 10:50 I guess.
I want to say that was intended to be a smart-ass remark, but the joke’s on you, I’m not easily offended.
Is that a challenge?
Most definitely.
Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I make my way into Beck’s. Their dog, Dottie, does this little happy dance right as I walk in, begging for some attention. “Hey, Dottie, has no one pet you today?”
“Ha,” Jensen mocks as I go to pet Dottie. “Beck has ruined her. She begs for food and attention now because he caves every time.”
Beck holds his hands up in surrender. “I never claimed to be the strong parent.”
“Yeah, none of us thought you would be,” I say, making my way over to the island where Beck and Jensen are laying out all the food.
“Are we feeding an army?” Callie asks as she twists slightly on her barstool.
“Well, sort of.” Jensen shrugs. “Between the five grown men and Lucie well into her second trimester and eating for three…”
“Speaking of.” Beck pulls out a pan of cinnamon rolls. “Dex told me she’s been craving these so no one gets one until she gets one.”
Will shakes his head. “I picked up Miles the other day to hang for a few hours, and Lucie made me stop and bring her some on my way.”
I see the opportunity, but don’t say it—Beck, however, never lets Will know peace.
“Look at you, such a good uncle, picking up the kid so his sister can have uninterrupted sex with his teammate.”
Will sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You know you can let some of them go. You don’t always have to comment.”
Callie reaches for Will’s arm. “Oh, babe, you walked right into that one.”
Will pulls her chair closer to him, and I see that shit-eating smile on his face. “At least I’m—”
“Don’t finish that sentence. I swear to god, I’ll make it worse than what Beck said.”
Jensen laughs. “Okay, for a change in conversation, you guys will get to officially meet my sister tonight.”
Beck gets that same look Will just had, and I know the topic isn’t changing that much. “Stella actually encourages our sex life. Said I should crack her like a glow stick.”