Kendall #2
But when I reached out to adjust the A/C at the same time that Rhys was slinging his seatbelt clasp over to buckle it in, our hands brushed, electricity shooting through my body from my fingertips.
He froze but didn’t jerk away, his eyes snapping up to meet mine as he cleared his throat.
Taking advantage of the fact that he hadn’t pulled away, I flattened my palm against his before linking my fingers between his.
His hand was warm and just a little calloused, the size practically dwarfing mine.
It made for a cute little picture. But maybe I was biased about that.
Like I’d predicted, the prolonged touch seemed to ebb out his nerves and tension, and I watched him visibly relax in the passenger seat before I slipped my hand away so I could put the car in reverse.
“Hi, Rhys.”
“I, um, really appreciate you doing this,” he said, once we were on the road. “This is kind of my first, you know… uncle thing. I don’t want to screw it up.”
“That’s funny,” I mused, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel and trying not to make it obvious how completely fucking adorable I found it that he was taking the idea of becoming an uncle so seriously.
Josie was an only child and Benji just had us, so it was good he was willing to step up.
“I was just telling Benji how you and I were co-uncling on this little excursion.”
“You told him you were picking me up?”
“Yeah. I was on a call with him when you texted.”
“On a call?” He repeated. “Like a video game thing?”
“Yeah.”
“Did he… Sound weirded out about it?”
“No,” I denied, my eyebrows furrowing together. “He thought it was cool we were working together. Why?”
“I don’t know,” he mumbled, flushing a bit as he shifted his gaze out the window. “I just didn’t know if he would be weird about us hanging out.”
“You mean you don’t want him to know that we’ve messed around,” I determined.
“Well, yeah. That too,” he admitted sheepishly.
“I told you that you don’t need to worry.
No one’s going to find out anything. You’d be shocked how many guys I’m keeping secrets for in this town,” I added.
Thinking about how many closeted guys I’d screwed around with wasn’t the most lovely thing to think about, but I couldn’t help but grin when he whipped around to face me again, his eyebrows raised.
I’d gotten the sense that he might have been harboring a smidge of jealousy when it came to me, when he’d not-so-subtly nudged me into riding home with everyone after the parade.
Any other year I would have ended up finding a friend or acquaintance to hook up and spend the night with, but of course this year I refrained.
Even if I’d still been considering it after he’d stroked me off in the alley, Rhys’ big pleading blue eyes were basically my kryptonite.
And honestly the fact that I had all of his attention, for however long this thing between us would last, meant that no other guy in the entire world meant anything to me.
But it was still cute to tease him and try to bring a little bit of that jealousy to the surface.
“You mean, like… You’ve dated guys from around here?”
“I wouldn’t say we dated.”
“You… had sex with them?” He asked, the pitch of his voice raising just a bit.
“A few of them,” I confirmed, biting down into my lower lip to keep from laughing.
He could be so incredibly obvious with his feelings at times.
I’d never expected him to be so transparent about this sort of thing.
It was really cute. “Some of them I just kissed. And some just wanted to vent to me, or wanted advice.”
I waited for him to process what I’d said, slightly worried what he would think of me.
I wasn’t embarrassed by my sexuality, or the fact that I wasn’t some repressed, pent up prude.
But I wasn’t proud of the fact that I’d let guys who couldn’t even admit they weren’t straight use me so many times, even if it hadn’t always been about sex.
But after a few moments of contemplation, Rhys looked a little relieved. But just a little.
“Anyone I know?” He wondered, after a stretch of silence.
“Yeah.”
“Who?” He asked quickly, and I gave him a brief sidelong glance, before shaking my head a little.
“You know I can’t tell you that.”
“Because they’re not out,” he determined, speaking slowly like it was a mystery he was working out in his mind.
“Right.”
“Wait,” he said. “So they… I mean, they thought they might be… Uh, you know, not straight.” I made a noise of assent to indicate for him to keep going.
“So they… came to you. Went to you, I mean,” he hurriedly tacked on, probably to avoid the obvious innuendo there.
I chose to take the high road and not acknowledge it.
“I’m pretty much the only openly queer guy in Cherryvale, Rhys. Who else would they go to?”
There were two women, Steph and Kelly, who lived together in one of the pretty little houses in Rhys’ neighborhood.
Them being an actual couple, and not just a couple of gal pals was one of those open secrets people gossiped about, but not really in a malicious way.
Steph was a member of the board of elected trustees who voted on town affairs, and Kelly was a librarian.
I saw them together at the park all the time, where they were always walking their pair of sweet little Dachshunds. I liked giving them treats.
“So… basically they hooked up with you. Or whatever. And then decided they weren’t going to… come out.”
“I can’t really control what people decide to do with their life, or what parts of themselves they’re willing to accept,” I said, trying to sound gentle. The last thing he needed was the idea that I would judge him or be harsh on him for struggling to figure himself out. “That’s up to them.”
“But… you did it. I mean, people know about you, and they’re okay with it.”
“It’s kind of different for me,” I admitted, pursing my lips a little as I considered his words. “I couldn’t really hide it even if I wanted to. Everyone knows as soon as they meet me. You remember when I was a kid. You knew, right? I didn’t have to come out to you.”
He didn’t respond, only the soft notes of a Broadway musical soundtrack I’d turned way down spreading through the car for the span of several heartbeats.
“Yeah,” he finally said. But there was a note of something in his voice I couldn’t quite decipher.
Something kind of rough and unsure. I hated hearing him sound like that.
I wanted to make everything in his life easy and fix all of his problems, a feat that my logical brain knew was almost certainly impossible.
But I couldn’t help but fantasize about it anyway. “I knew.”
“It’s okay,” I told him quickly. “I don’t mind. I would hate living like that, having to hide parts of myself. And I like my life,” I reminded him.
Out of my peripherals, I watched him let out a long exhale and lean back into the seat more.
“That’s good, Sparkles. You deserve to be happy.”
“You deserve it, too.”
He scoffed, and shifted his gaze over and out the window at the blur of trees we were passing on the empty back road like he wasn’t sure he agreed with me. I still had a lot of work to do.
When we got to the baby boutique, I could immediately tell he’d never been in one. His wide eyes and barely contained admiration for all the adorable furniture and clothes made me want to melt into a pink puddle on the carpet.
“Do you want kids?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. I’d mentioned that I wanted kids when we’d talked in the owl room back at the cabin, but he hadn’t really confirmed or denied for himself.
"Uh…” He paused, running a hand over a pale blue changing table with a pair of swans delicately carved into it.
“I did at one point. I imagined I’d be married for a couple years, and then start a family.
But with Hailey… I don’t know,” he finished.
“We just fought all the time, and it started to feel like I was failing at marriage. If I couldn’t hack it as a husband, I shouldn’t even think about trying to be a dad. ”
“I think you’d make a great dad,” I stated, but he only shrugged a shoulder.
“I don’t know. I don’t really think about it anymore.”
I hated the resignation in his voice, but let it drop to keep from totally killing the mood. The day was supposed to be about baby Benjosie, anyway.
“Oh man, I have to get this,” he said, as we strolled through the section of the store with clothes. It was a brown onesie with thick white laces on the front, to make the baby look like a football.
“We don’t know if the baby’s going to be a boy or not,” I said, and he slowly turned away from the massive wall of baby clothes to give me an incredulous look.
“Girls can play football too, Sparkles.”
Surprised by the serious tone in his voice, and the way I’d instinctively and automatically leaned into heteronormative gender roles, I winced.
“You’re right. I’m so canceled. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Snorting, he regarded me dryly as he dropped the onesie into our little cart.
“Just try and do better in the future. I won’t tolerate that kind of closed-minded thinking. I’ve been to a pride parade, you know.”
Covering my mouth with my hand, I tried to stifle the laugh bubbling out of my mouth so we wouldn’t disturb the other people milling around the store.
“Oh yeah? And what did you do at the pride parade?” I wondered, and he dragged his tongue around his teeth, his dark brow popping up as he considered.
“Parade stuff,” he answered simply, the corner of his perfectly sculpted mouth quivering as he struggled to keep from joining me in my laughing fit.
“Sounds really fun.”
“It was great,” he confirmed. “Certain parts do stick out more in my mind than others, though.”
“You should elaborate on that,” I invited. He glanced around to see that we were nowhere near being alone before clearing his throat.
“No, I shouldn’t,” he assured me.