Chapter 30
With a swing of my hips,I toss a hay bale to the ground and curse at the burn in my biceps. The thick brown gloves hugging my fingers keep the bale wire from ripping into my skin as I grab another and haul it up before throwing it to the side. Sweat drips from my forehead into my eyes. I don’t bother wiping it away before grabbing another bale.
Today marks the third day in a row I’ve been placed on feeding duty. If I wasn’t aware that no one but Johnny and Anna knew what happened with Poppy and me last week, I’d assume this was Wade’s wicked form of punishment.
Streaks of calamine lotion still run up and down my arms from the consistent rash I’ve been sporting while working with all this hay. The itching discomfort is nothing compared to the ache in my muscles. I haven’t strained myself like this physically since before I left home, whenever I found the time to sneak off to the gym in my penthouse.
Which did not happen often.
The first two days after I returned from Poppy’s house were spent following the two Steele Ranch horse trainers around, shadowing them. Wade demanded I get to know them, and I couldn’t help but being a bit curious as to who is working with the horses on a daily basis. Kip, especially. I’m not interested in learning how to train horses, but it was intriguing to watch the way they interact with the animals.
Kip’s been a chatty, needy beast every night, occupying me long after work has finished. Between him, Eliza stopping by with containers of food, and the excessive online shopping for gifts that will never see the light of day, I shouldn’t have had the time to torture myself with thoughts of Poppy and the fucking pathetic way I left things between us. But I have.
Heaving another bale from the stack, I grind my teeth and throw it further than I’ve thrown one yet. The memory of stricken brown eyes filling with hope flashes across my vision, and I push myself up onto a hay bale before gripping another in a tight fist but not lifting it.
My ego has kept me from getting in the truck and driving to her house to apologize. Doing so will only prove her right. It will be acceptance. I’m man enough to admit that I’m terrified of that. I’m lacking the experience required to navigate a relationship like this. The only thing I know is that I want her in a way that’s firmly over the line of simple sexual partners.
It’s not plausible to explore those feelings more than I’ve already done. I have to use my head, not my heart. My company and reputation deserve that caution, but it feels wrong. I’ve put my company at the forefront of my life for years, and it wasn’t until I met Poppy that I truly felt awake, like there was more out there to life than work.
Fuck, I haven’t even checked in on my company in weeks because I had no desire to know. Not when I had Poppy occupying my time.
Those thoughts are selfish, and I’ve been struggling with them since the moment I stepped out of her house, leaving her to watch me walk away. Longer than that, if I’m completely honest.
I lean forward on my arms and stare down at the hay bale, my breaths rapid and heartbeat quick in my ears. If my father knew how messed up I am right now, he’d be so smug. This was probably his plan in the first place. He couldn’t stop speaking this town’s praises after he first visited with Brody last year. It’s the perfect place to settle down, he said.
The man has been sitting in his studio, crossing his fingers that I’d come back with a woman at my side. Instead, he’s only given me another thing to blame him for.
“Are you almost done?”
I stiffen before looking over my shoulder at Johnny. He’s standing a ways back, his arms crossed and features sullen. An alarm sounds in my head at his expression, not used to seeing him so standoffish. Not with me.
“Yeah,” I grunt.
“Good. Horses are hungry.”
“I just fed them again two hours ago.”
Johnny rolls his lips, tugging at the collar of his ratty T-shirt as if he’s uncomfortable. “Well, they can be hungry again already.”
“Which one needs more food?”
“Kip,” he blurts out before wincing, immediately registering his mistake. “I meant Joker.”
“Are you sure it was either of them? Kip’s been out with Wade all morning, and Joker’s a grazer. He’ll be fine for a while yet. Don’t tell me I know more about your horse than you do.”
The first time I met Joker, the polka-dotted mare, I wasn’t surprised to learn she was Johnny’s. She’s just as wild and ridiculously outgoing as her owner. If not somehow more so.
Johnny straightens, tucking his hand in the pocket of his jeans. “You don’t. I’m just—” He glances around the barn awkwardly. “You’re a damn fool.”
I release the wire I’m gripping and shift my body to face him fully. It took him longer than I thought it would to come looking for a fight with me. He’s been acting off around me all week, shooting me disappointed looks and speaking in short two-word replies. I haven’t bothered to tell him that I warned him a friendship with me was ill advised because dammit, I’ve grown to care about the guy. His disapproval shouldn’t matter so much to me.
“Are you going to explain why you think I’m a fool, or are you expecting me to guess?” I ask.
“You had a real chance with Poppy. She may have been the only one other than me that genuinely thought you were an alright guy beneath all of that asshole attitude, but maybe we were wrong. You and I both know that you didn’t buy her a washer and dryer for no reason. Nobody does something like that just because, and especially not you. It was a scumbag move to tell her otherwise,” he shouts, losing his temper for the very first time in front of me.
My shoulders roll forward, a defeated sigh escaping me. “I know, Johnny. You’re right.”
He powers through, skipping over my acceptance. “And, just so you know, if I didn’t already like you, I wouldn’t bother sharing that she’s going out on a date tonight with some random guy Bryce found for her, but I figure you should have a chance to—” Pausing, he clears his throat. “Wait. Did you just say that I’m right?”
The question passes through my mind like a harsh blow of wind. I’m too focused on everything spoken prior.
“What did you say?” I ask, deceptively calm. My skin flushes red-hot.
He swallows. “Poppy’s going on a date. Tonight. I don’t know the guy. Bryce mentioned it in passing when I caught her at the cafe this morning.”
My skin ripples with anger and jealousy. All sane thought fades. Whatever Johnny sees on my face has him stumbling over his next words, stepping toward me.
“There’s still time to apologize to her and convince her not to go. It’s obvious why she’s entertaining the idea of this date.”
“Bryce told you that on purpose.” I scrape the words up my dry throat. “She wanted me to find out. Either to punish me, or . . .”
“Or to kick your ass into gear? Yeah, I figured.”
“And Poppy agreed to go? She genuinely wants to go on a date with this guy?”
I wish it didn’t hurt so bad to consider that. A month ago, I wouldn’t have given a shit about who she was dating. But now I want to find the guy who thought for even a moment he had a chance with my woman and beat his face in.
My woman.Christ. Who am I right now? Brody?
Nostrils flaring, I scrape my nails through my hair. Johnny’s eyes are sad. Each emotion is etched clear as day on his face as well, and for the first time ever, I don’t hate that there’s someone worried about me. It feels nice.
“She’s hurt, Garry. You had to have known that she’s interested in you. I can’t see how you of all people would have missed that. Aren’t you supposed to be good at reading people in your line of work?”
I choke on a pained laugh. “I run a recording company, not a criminal defense firm.”
He cracks a slight smile. “Fair enough.”
“And I did know. She wasn’t the problem. Not ever. It’s all me,” I admit, so quietly the words are hardly audible.
“There’s still time to fix it. Her date isn’t until six.”
“Where?”
If this guy thought a date in Cherry Peak was worthy of her time, he really wants to end up beneath my fucking cowboy-booted feet.
“About an hour east of CP in Lethbridge.”
I’ve already got the leather gloves yanked off my fingers and jammed into my back pocket by the time he finishes speaking. Adrenaline pumps in my veins, urging me to move faster and make plans. To get my shit together before I make another mistake that I’m going to regret.
I use the bottom of my shirt to wipe my forehead. “What’s the time?”
“Noon,” he says without pause.
A million different possibilities and ideas burst through my mind, all of them involving taking Poppy away from here for a few days. Of storming her date and doing what I should have done in Peakside. Laying an official claim on her for everyone to see. Telling her exactly what she deserves to know, which is that she’s not just someone I want to sleep with. She’s so much more, and I’ll beat myself up for a long time to come, knowing that I made her feel like she’s nothing to me.
It’s risky. Swift Edge’s PR team will have my head for this if they find out, but there isn’t a single person who can lecture me more than I’ve already done myself for the past week. I feel unwound, on edge, desperate. A myriad of emotions that I haven’t allowed myself to experience since I grew old enough to detest how out of control they made me feel.
It took Poppy five weeks to unravel me completely. And while I fear it’ll take triple that to piece myself back together once I’m done here, I’m beginning to believe it will be worth it.
“Is Wade around? I need to talk to him.”
“Yeah, he is. He’s been watching you sulk for days now.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t come here and kick my ass, considering that he cares so much for Poppy.”
“I think that has something to do with him starting to care for you too,” Johnny murmurs, his tone cautious, not wanting to spook me.
“Yeah, I’m starting to believe that. It seems everyone in Cherry Peak has a habit of making a home for themselves in your life whether you want them to or not.”
Johnny closes the distance between us and claps a hand against my shoulder in a move that brings me back to the first time he convinced me to go to Peakside. Only as opposed to then, I don’t flinch from it. I accept the gesture.
He makes a contemplative, soft noise in the back of his throat. “But isn’t it nice? Having people care about you for who you are without any additional bullshit? I don’t think I’d have it any other way.”
The world shifts around me as something settles in my soul. A lock clicking into place.
“Yeah, I’m beginning to see the appeal.”
I findWade in the main house with Eliza. The old bastard is inhaling a triple-stacked sandwich that drips mustard down his fingers and onto the white plate beneath it. His wife rips off a piece of paper towel and slides it under the edge of the plate with a sigh.
“You’re as bad as those animals outside,” she tells him.
“Sorry, darlin’,” he mutters over the food in his mouth.
I take a step out of the entry, and the old floor creaks beneath me, alerting them to my presence. Eliza spins to face me, her smile growing once she notices it’s me. That smile settles some of my discomfort. She reminds me too much of my mother not to have that effect.
“Why hello, Garrison. Are you hungry? I’ve still got out all the fixings for a sandwich. Do you prefer turkey or ham?” she asks before moving to the kitchen counter, which is littered with ingredients.
“I’m not hungry, but thank you.”
“Bullshit,” Wade says.
“You’ve been working all day. Let me feed you,” she demands.
I cough up a laugh and nod. “Alright. I didn’t come here to be fed, though.”
“What do you need, boy?” Wade asks.
The table looks far bigger at this moment than it normally does when it’s piled with food and surrounded by starving ranchers. After pulling the chair out beside Wade, I sit and lean my elbows on the table, hands clasped. He darts his eyes in my direction and swallows a bite of his sandwich.
“If I asked for a few days off, what are the odds you’d say yes?”
Eliza glances at me over her shoulder, inspecting me before going back to her sandwich making. There isn’t much I don’t enjoy eating, so I don’t bother telling her to avoid anything. She slathers enough toppings on the first slice of bread that my stomach starts growling.
“Depends what you need ’em for,” Wade grunts. “You willin’ to disclose that information to me?”
I stare at him, not balking at the challenge. “If I have to, yeah.”
“Get talkin’, then.”
“Wade,” Eliza scolds with a slight shake of her head. “Tell us if you want to share, sweetheart.”
I smile appreciably, even though I don’t need her to intervene on my behalf. Wade is a hard-ass, but he likes me more than he wants to admit. The feeling is reciprocated.
“I want to take Poppy somewhere. Preferably for a few days.”
“Oh, that’s great. Do you know where?” Eliza asks, spinning to rest her back against the counter, giving us her full attention now. “Or maybe don’t tell me. Poppy loves a good surprise. I just knew you wouldn’t allow her to go on that date today.”
“What date?” Wade asks, using the paper towel to wipe his fingers clean.
Eliza scoffs. “The one Bryce set her up on. I swear, sometimes you don’t listen at all when I’m speaking.”
“All your gossipin’ with those women has made you so damn sassy,” Wade says, humour bright in his eyes.
“Don’t pretend you don’t love it. I know you well, Wade Steele.” She points a finger at him before twisting to grab my sandwich. After setting it on the table in front of me, she places a hand on my shoulder, looking down at me with the care of a woman who loves far too hard. “I approve your time off.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” Wade asks. “I might as well not even be here, then.”
She reaches out to stroke a finger down his jaw. “We both know who really runs this place. Don’t forget it, sugar.”
Wade lifts a hand to hold her wrist before bringing it to his mouth and kissing the back of her hand. “You’re a pain in my ass, woman.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
My lips tug into a slight smile at their display. Moments like these are exactly why I stopped fearing Wade and instead began to look up to him. He might be as hard as a fucking boulder on the outside, but all too similar to me, he has enough love inside of him to choke on.
Somehow, he’s managed to find the perfect mix when it comes to his wife. I want to learn how and do the same for Poppy.
“Thank you, Eliza. Wade, if you’re not alright with it—” I begin, but he cuts me off, clearing his throat.
“How many days do you want?”
“Five?”
His nod isn’t much more than a quick jerk of his chin. “Hurt that woman again and I’ll have you doin’ far worse than workin’ with hay.”
Eliza gasps. “I knew that was calamine lotion on your arms!” Taking a step back, she pinches the back of Wade’s neck. “You ass.”
“I thought you’d approved, considerin’ how much you love Poppy,” he replies.
She considers that answer for a moment. “Fine. But next time, don’t use hay as a punishment, or I’ll have you digging weeds from my garden.”
Wade grimaces. “Yeah. Alright.”
My stomach growls again, and I greedily grab the sandwich in front of me, tearing into it. I’m going to need all the help I can get to plan my next move today, and with the Steeles’ permission, I get to work.